Armed with nothing but a baseball bat and street smarts, Rochester, NY, resident Curtis Jones is ready to go toe-to-toe with what he swears is a mountain lion on the loose in his neighborhood.
“It went right over there, and it said ‘Rawr!’” Jones told reporters, gesturing with the seriousness of a man who’s seen things. “I seen it, see me, see it.” Translation: mutual eye contact was made, and it was primal.
Jones isn’t alone in his claim. Several Rochester residents say they saw the sleek, shadowy feline slink through their streets last Wednesday, prompting a brief shelter-in-place order while police and drones scoured the area. The Monroe County Sheriff’s Office and even Seneca Park Zoo confirmed all their lions were still properly enclosed, but Jones remains unconvinced.
“They ain’t find it last night,” he warned. “It’s still out here—could be in one of these bushes.”
Jones described the animal’s stealthy movements with the precision and articulation of a wildlife narrator: “It be ‘Rawr,’ they be crawling, you know. They serious.”
Asked if he’s ready for a showdown, Jones tapped the bat resting near his porch and said firmly, “I don’t play with lions. I don’t even do roller coasters.”
Authorities are still investigating. Jones, meanwhile, remains on high alert.
(YWN World Headquarters – NYC)
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8 Responses
Very not nice.The way this article is written.
Slow news day?
Don’t da be teachin’ English in schools no mo?
Woof woof.
If Mountain Lions, which have been extinct in New York since the 19th century are reintroducing themselves, as have some other animals such as Moose, they will eventually be in the Catskills region. They are much more dangerous than bears.
super racist article
He won’t have the possibility to beat a wild cat with a bat. He can only use the bat when the cat is close enough and by then the cat will jump on to him before he swings.
I agree that the article is written very condescendingly.
It is actually quite interesting, but not very nice.