At a Q&A session held during Yeshiva Darchei Torah’s annual dinner on Sunday evening, prominent Roshei Yeshiva addressed a sensitive and increasingly common question in the shidduch world: Should a girl share her picture for a shidduch?
The question was posed by Yisroel Besser and drew clear and unequivocal responses from three Roshei Yeshiva.
HaRav Shlomo Avigdor Altusky, Rosh Yeshiva Darchei Torah responded bluntly, stating simply, “Chas Veshalom.”
HaRav Yaakov Bender, Rosh Yeshivah Darchei Torah, echoed the same strong position, also responding, “Chas Veshalom.”
HaRav Elya Brudny, Rosh Yeshivah in Mirrer Yeshiva elaborated further, strongly discouraging the practice while offering guidance for those who insist. He said, “Giving it out is terrible. What I tell people who insist on seeing it, is to give it to a third party to show it to the boys parents to see it. Don’t send it (don’t give it to them).”
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7 Responses
Picture 📸 is worth 1000 words!!!!! This says it all.
we need a kol korey saying any bachur who asks for a picture will not get a shidduch. We need rabbanim to take control over misguided ways, this whole notion of seeing a picture is from the gass and umos haolam we see the chen of a girl in tznius
Every person has the fit for them. People have preferences. A picture will show what the person looks like and whether you are wasting each other’s time if there is no chance of being attracted to that person. You wouldn’t go drive an hour to look at a used car if you didn’t see a picture. Kal vchomer, Why would you want to spend hours in something you will be with for life without seeing a picture first?
Of course, girls should not be supplying pictures, and people should not ask. Today we have AI which can easily…..oh wait, didn’t we just have some gatherings in Lakewood on that topic….
Any boy (or his mother) who asks for a picture should first volunteer to send a picture of the boy before asking for a picture of the other side.
We need to allow boys to date early and the rabbis need to stop keeping boys till 23-24 in yeshiva
Will help boys control their tavos
And help girls in shidchuim
The excitement of a shiduch is “the first sight”. Seeing a pic b4 messes that up…
Pictures are also grossly inaccurate.
This doesn’t take away the fact that many bad dates cud be avoided if they saw a pic b4….
But not worth it.
I wud rather go on a bunch of wrong dates, and not mess up the good one…
I have a bigger problem with shadchanim asking (sometimes “requiring “) a picture. And that’s been going on, even amongst yeshivish shidduchim, for many years now