Funny Shidduch Stories

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    1.First date my friend was on,he hit his side mirrior off his car and kept his cool. It was the other person fault but he knew it wasnt that big of damage so he drove away. The girl on the date tells him dont worry it happens to me all the time my daddy just buys me a new car. 2. Here is a funny one a girl from flatbush was on a second date with a friend of mine and says youre the most perfect guy in the world you have no fauls. He smiled at her and said wow you must be a pcychic how did you know I was a saint.3. Another friend of mine told me he got into a car incident his first date he knnocked down the girl mailbox. the father of the girl says I hope he aint driving you around.


    My cousin was 19 and back from sem for about thirty seconds when she dated her first guy, her brother’s friend. (He was in his early twenties.) He decided to take her out to Dave and Buster’s, which was fine and dandy, until they walked through the door and into the bar for sodas, where my cousin was carded. I don’t think it occurred to them that they had alcohol. Since he wasn’t old enough to “chaperone” her, they got kicked out and went back to her house.

    They are currently married :).

    Speaking of which, because he was a family friend, they already knew each other, and one day before they started dating, when he was in town to date a different girl and didn’t have a car, my uncle decided to loan him their car. So he went over to their house to pick it up, and my cousin was the only one home (she was on her way to a wedding) so she went out to give him the keys. Their neighbor, who knew both of them very well, was on the porch, and when she saw them on the deck, all fancied up by the car with the keys, she shouted down, “So you’re finally going out! It’s about time!” They turned BEET RED and the guy jumped into the car and drove off, leaving the neighbor openmouthed, like “Was it something I said?”

    She then proceeded to call my aunt, explain what happened, and ask why they hadn’t gone out already. The rest is history.


    I went out with this boy who wanted to tell me something he learned in Koheles. Which is really nice and all, because I really appreciate a nice devar torah.

    What wasn’t nice was that he started it off by saying, “I know girls don’t usually learn Shlomo Hamelech’s sefarim because they’re too hard for them to understand, but I have a really nice devar torah to tell you….”

    So I decided to play along and be a dumb little girl and just smiled and nodded along.

    After he finished, I told him divrei torah that I learned from Sefer Mishlei and Shir Hashirim.


    wow that is so funny


    I told a girl something about koheles once…

    I hope this wasn’t me

    not a mod



    My sister was waiting on the boy to knock on the door and it was very icy out. As a good sister i was trying to get a sneak peek of the boy walking in. finally he pulled up and he fell on the ice! and ripped his pants… 3 years later they are married with a beautiful family

    I guess you can say he fell for her on the first date!


    haha cookiegoldman thats really funny


    My friend went out with a guy, they were walking in the park and she noticed he’s walking funny, she asked him if he wants to sit down, and he said that the reason he is walking funny is because last night he played soccer (first game of the season) and was all sore, he said he was hoping she wouldn’t notice…they are engaged!


    Hilariously true story. Someone took a girl on a date to a baseball game. He realized at the stadium that the two tickets were on two different sides of the stadium!

    p.s. they’re married happily for a long time


    Someone took a girl on a date to a baseball game. When they got to the stadium he realized that their seats were on two different sides of the stadium!

    p.s. they’re married happily for a long time`


    OMG this thread was way to funny!

    Worst date ever: A European Baal Teshuva, with an American BT. 1st topic on date was politics – this was about the time of Gilad Shalits release, as much as I enjoy politics and current events, I don’t usually spent the first date talking about it. Fine so we talking, and then he decides that the hotel is not private enough so we are going to walk in a gigantic circle ( almost) around the city, without stopping. Now I was wearing heals, because I wasn’t expecting to walk around. Fine we were walking and still discussing politics, now he’s discussing the Israeli Political party, and then he decides to tell me, that he thinks that it is perfectly okay to throw rocks on shabbos, and that smoking is not addictive, and that black hats, are a goyish custom from Europe. Now I’m just staring at him open mouthed, not even sure what to say. His reasoning is that all the rocks are prepared before shabbos, and that if a car comes down a street, and there are children in the street, then it might hurt the children. As for the smoking, he claimed that he had stopped smoking a pack a day, and was down to one ciggerate and could stop when ever he wanted. Needless to say it never made it past the first date, though i do have to say that there is something invigorating about arguing with someone. Dr. Pepper you disappeared but your stories gave me a lot of laughter, come back!


    Someone took a girl on a date to a baseball game. When they got to the stadium he realized that their seats were on two different sides of the stadium!

    I like the story with that guy’s brother better. He took a girl to a baseball game, and purposely got them seats on opposite sides. Now he’s married to the girl he went back and picked up and brought to the same baseball game. And she’s married to the guy who sold hot dogs at the kosher stand.


    A friend of mine told me a story. He was going to pick up the girl at her house. He parked and started walking up what he thought was her walkway to het house. On the walkway of the house next to him, a man strated yelling at him, “Boy, the house is over here!” It turned out that it was the house next door and that man was her father.

    I had a story once, at the time it wasn’t so funny. I went out in a hotel and I parked in a parking garage. The way it worked in there is that you get a ticket when you come in and when you’re ready to leave there’s a machine inside the garage to insert the ticket in. You pay for parking, the ticket comes out and when you leave the garage you insert the ticket into the slot and the gate opens. So I inserted the ticket and paid for parking and got the ticket back. While we were in the car getting ready to leave, the ticket fell from my fingers between the two seats in front. We spent ten minutes looking for it. She told me to give up, I said another 5 minutes then I’ll give up. I couldn’t find it after 5 minutes. She said she needed to get a tissue anyways so she’ll ask them inside the hotel what to do. She came back out several minutes later and said that they said that there’s someone at the exit who can help us. We drove to the exit and told the attendant what happened. He told us to keep looking, there’s no other way out that ticket controls the system.The attendant was on her side of the window, so she told him we searched for 10 min and wer couldn’t find it. The attendant was a black person, he said “I knew I shouldn’t have been drinking today, it’s been a bad day!” There were other cars in the other lane, so he let them go, then he came out of his booth and said “You guys were looking for a lot more than 10 minutes. I heard you guys looking for it from where I was. I’m going to get into trouble for this, but I’ll let you go.” He pressed a button and the gate opened up.


    This thread is HYSTERICAL!


    Not to embarrass anyone, but I was once set up with a guy who didn’t drive. He took the train (I did not know he was coming by train, as he had neglected to tell me about the non-driving)to my neighborhood and knew I lived on a certain street just a few short blocks from the station, a main street that extended for several miles in two directions.

    The guy was 10 minutes late, then 15, then 45. This was in the pre- cellphone days. Finally, after an hour and a half I get a call (he found a payphone), and he called to find out where on earth my block was! Based on his description of the area from which he was calling, I immediately realized he had literally walked over three miles in the opposite direction from my house! My street address was a low 3-digit number, so I really wondered how he failed to re-alize that if the numbers were getting HIGHER and already becoming 4 digits, that in all probability it MIGHT not be near my house.

    Anyway – my dad was kind enough to drive me over to where he was (I was not yet driving, either), which happened to be an acceptable place to go for an inexpensive date. The fellow was pleasant enough, but about three years younger than I (the person who set us up was not candid about that), and clearly had no experience in dating, and was absolutely not for me. Who knows; maybe I was his first shidduch.

    I was likewise pleasant, and my dad was again nice enough to pick us up when the date was over, and we dropped him off at the train station and waited until he was on the train. I am not making fun of this young man, who was probably so nervous about the date altogether, but I am honest enough to admit that it did strike me as funny at the time, that he managed to get himself lost on a main street, and that my dad had to chauffeur us around.


    This thread deserves a Bump™!


    Friend was on a date with a guy. The waiter came over and gave her a 5 minute speech on how he’s a really nice guy. She gave the appropriate response but wondered just how many girls he took there. At least the table next to them seemed amused.


    Courtesy of Dr. Pepper:

    A funny ???? was trying to harass the mother of a boy who rejected all names suggested for her son.

    He calls and suggests a name that he mentioned 5 years before but the mother recognized the name but forgot why she rejected it.

    The ???? reminded her that she didn’t approve of the seminary that the girl went to.

    The mother asked him why he’s suggesting it again if she already said no.

    The ???? answered, “tomorrow will be 10 years since she came back from seminary so the statute of limitations are expiring”.


    Alright guys, if you so desperately want to discuss Shidduchim, this is the only thread active! Let’s hear your funny Shidduch stories!!


    I’m not sure if this counts as a Shidduch Story but funny anyway.

    My husband and I were on our last date a week before our wedding. We didn’t really shidduch date- we are BTs who became frum together before we got married- we were already dating for like 4 years at that point. We were VERY comfortable with each other.

    Anyway- we were at a milchig restaurant after a nice big meal when 2 or 3 girls come into the restaurant and sit at a table near ours.

    They then start to play that game where you try to figure out the story of the people in the resaurant- a little too loudly…

    They started a description about how my husband and I are probably on our 1st date…maybe 2nd. He looks really rich, I look bored… Not going well at all…

    At that point in the conversation I had pulled out my credit card to pay(my parents were paying for it-we arent traditional) and they all gasped.

    I was dying for a way to flash my ring at them or something to show just how wrong they were about the WHOLE conversation.

    My then chosson and I were on the floor laughng when we finally left!


    OK, it takes me about twenty minutes to find this thread every time I’d like to continue it, and so, with a heavy heart, I perform this vital public service…



    NE – Why don’t u just add it to your favorites? That makes it much easier to find it when u want to.


    Good idea, thanks.


    Love love this thread

    I went on my first date ever. I was in school in the city at the time so the boy picked me up from there. I had actually been home but he couldn’t get a car so I needed to be driven to school just to go out with him. Actually we had been supposed to go out 2 weeks before (right before peach) when he texted me that his mother needed help and had changed his ticket to earlier so he couldn’t go out. 2 weeks later we go out. As we are walking I realize that he doesn’t know where he is going based on the destination he said he wanted to go to so I gently explain where we should be to which he responds-“Oh I thought you knew”. We sit in the store and get drinks and after less than an hour, when I haven’t finished my drink, he asks me if I want to go for a walk so I say sure, and he walks me back to my dorm room!! I was back and the whole date took an hour- I probably spent more time getting ready than on the actual date!

    The boy is actually engaged while I am still single…go figure!


    I’m not sure if I’ve ever posted this story here, but it’s an interesting one anyway:

    A bochur [now a Mashgiach in a prominent Yeshiva; I can’t imagine he wants his name publicized] in Gateshead was invited to eat at the Rosh Yeshiva’s house for Friday night. He walked with the Rosh Yeshiva to his house, and sees the table is set for four. They start singing “Sholoim Aleichem”, etc. Then in walks the Rebitzen – and a Gateshead seminary girl. Both of them managed to hide their surprise; but hey – who questions the Rosh Yeshiva?

    The meal started – albeit awkwardly – and began to move along. After the soup, the Rosh Yeshiva made eye contact with the Rebitzen and gave a little nod; they both stood up and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

    Leaving the two of them alone.

    In the Rosh Yeshiva’s house.

    For an hour.

    Apparently, the Rosh Yeshiva and the Rebitzen had decided this was a perfect shidduch, and decided that the best way to throw it on the two was by forcing them to meet each other.

    That has got to be the most awkward date in the world. I can just imagine – the first five minutes, neither of them realizing they are supposed to be talking to each other. So she’s looking at the paintings on the walls, at the silver cabinet – anywhere but in his direction. He’s humming to himself, tapping nervously on the table – thinking; should I take out a sefer and stare at that? Will that look bad?

    How does the conversation eventually start, when the Rosh Yeshiva may walk in any second?

    To cut not-such-a-long-story short, they didn’t get married.

    (Heard and verified from the son of the protagonist)


    (Heard and verified from the son of the protagonist)

    I was the girl in that story. We actually didn’t end up talking at all. He tried to, but I gave him the death glare each time he so much as stopped humming and tapping.

    Not that I wouldn’t talk to a boy in that situation. Just that he was short.

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Who was the protagonist?


    DY – I’m not sure if you are asking which of the characters in the story was the protagonist or if you are asking the identity of the protagonist.

    The protagonist was the bochur, not the Rosh Yeshiva. His identity I don’t want to say on an online forum (I’m happy to tell every person one-by-one, but I don’t want to post his name. Not sure if that makes sense!)

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕

    Not the girl? I was wondering if popa was the protagonist.


    that’s a strange story. maybe the rosh yeshiva was so sure the shidduch would work out, he considered it “zachin l’adam shelo befanav?” Otherwise, how can you put someone in that situation without their reshus?


    Popa? Popa’s friends (dumb friend, alter friend, tow-truck driver, etc.) are generally the protagonists. Popa itself is normally an antagonist.


    In 1989 I got a call from a rebbi I had in yeshiva back in high school. I answered the phone and he went on and on about a young lady that he wanted to set me up with. He told me all about her attributes and the family’s yichus. Would I please consider going out with Miss X on Sunday because she’d be in town for a Bris that morning. I said to the rebbi; ‘let me check my calendar. Not covering the phone to block my conversation.

    I asked my wife out loud…Sweetheart, Rebbi so and so wants to know if it’s ok for me to go on a shidduch date with your younger sister Sunday after the baby’s bris?

    I returned to the phone to hear a dial tone.


    Sounds like you embarrassed your rebbi.


    Popa – were you the Rebbi, the wife or the sister? Or perhaps the baby?



    the rebbi embarrassed himself. I could have asked? Don’t you remember you were mechubad with a brocha under the chupah at my chasunah? Better to let him overhear the question to my wife.

    BTW>>he sent the baby a gift, and we laugh about this whenever we meet. Plus he was mechubad with a brocha under the chupah at my son’s chasunah as well.


    So I was on a date and it was going well. We were in middle of a pretty intense conversation, and then he drove up in front of my house. He said something like, “This is where I leave you,” and I got very nervous- I liked him and I thought he liked me, too… Anyway, I gave him a long look, and he said, “I don’t mean I’m saying no. I’m saying yes.” He got me scared, though…

    PS We did not get married.


    Well, your not marrying him isn’t the punch line. Did you two go on another date?


    Oh, I thought that was obvious from the fact that he said “I’m not saying no. I’m saying yes.” He called the shadchan from the car a minute later, and the shadchan called my mother with a yes. We went out two more times.


    Your “He got me scared, though…” was a bit ambiguous. It wasn’t entirely clear whether he got you scared that he said “I’m saying yes” to your face rather than the shadchan (and you thought that inappropriate) or if he got you scared that he was finished with you.

    Anyways, why did you give him a long look? You really entertained the idea he might have been dumping you right to your face?


    He got scared that he was finished with me.

    It was my first boy ever. Yes, I did entertain that idea. I was very confused.


    I don’t think it’s inappropriate for him to tell me to my face that he’s saying yes. I was actually happy that I didn’t have to wait till the next day and agonize.


    *I got scared that he was finished with me


    This one, from “yakrock”, deserves to be preserved here for perpetuity:

    true story…..i have a friend learning in bmg he is 23 and went out with a girl 9 times. after the ninth date he texted his mother that the date went well but he still cant get used to her looks..about 2 minutes later he got a reply from the girl,”well thats hurtful and you dont have to marry me” he realized his huge botch that he sent it to the wrong person!!!!!!!yikes…does anyone have stories about themselves like this that would like to share

    Comes to show ‘ya that the old adage that it is wrong for boys and girls to be calling/texting each other is true. Even with the best of boys.


    I don’t think that story’s funny. It should probably go here:


    Once met a girl on a shidduch and she turned up in very black coloured clothes, white face makeup and red ruby lipstick.

    I asked if she was a goth, and she said yes.

    I asked her if she thought her husband should be from the living or the dead and she said from the dead.

    Oh I said I don’t think I can marry you then!


    The first man I dated was over a foot taller than me. When he walked at a normal pace I couldn’t keep up. At first he slowed down every so often to let me catch up.

    I guess after doing that a few times he either forgot or thought I got used to walking faster, and he didn’t stop or slow. He just kept walking.

    I gave up trying to reach him and just stayed put and waited for him to notice I wasn’t with him anymore.

    I got a call on my cell a few minutes later. He had walked two blocks, talking to himself and wondering why I had become so quiet. LOL


    Welcome back, GRATEFULBLAC.

    (No, I know which thread this is.)


    I think unless mentioned otherwise by the author of the post it can be assumed that the couple didn’t marry or else the punchline would have been mentioned.


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