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    To the CR I am kind of new,

    and posting alot I don’t do,

    but then I saw this thread

    and fell right out of bed

    and I knew I just must add a few.

    (Here is a limerick according to the style of Dr. Seuss)

    There once was a man from Xan Xu,

    who just didn’t know what to do,

    he had a pet florenge

    that swallowed an orange

    and now was a fla flee flo floo.

    So while some think that Seuss was the best,

    I don’t think he passes the test,

    His words all made up

    without using his kup

    to ryme one of his words with the rest.

    minyan gal

    Now that the New Year’s arrived

    I’m so glad that this thread is revived.

    YomTov brings much work

    Duties we cannot shirk

    So I am happy that “Limericks” survived.

    Tsu alla a zeesen gut yor

    We’ll maintain friendships as before

    We shall traverse the miles

    With our keyboards and smiles

    And maintain CR manners so nobody’s sore.

    minyan gal

    For Shticky Guy – an entertaining tip

    So your hosting skills, they do not slip

    You won’t get un-nerved

    Remembering what you served

    Keep notes into which you can dip.

    (whenever I have company, I write down who I had, what I served, the occasion, the color of the tablecloth and what the centerpiece (if any) was – I know what I served to somebody 15 years ago.)

    am yisrael chai

    mg, you’re the Queen of organization

    Probably in the whole entire nation

    But notes in which to dip?

    I prefer chumus with my chip!

    Unless I was plotzing with starvation -??? ?????

    am yisrael chai

    Your question is not heretical

    It is just quite intellectual

    Just go to some lengths

    To focus on your strengths

    Pray your weakness be less detectable

    The context of the above is found here:

    minyan gal

    To all of my friends building booths

    Some unfortunate yearly, sad truths

    Just as soon as you’re done

    The rain, it will come

    And become gravy upon your roast goose.

    No matter if Sukkot is rainy or fine

    I send this message to your house from mine.

    Have a Chag that is healthy

    The year should be wealthy

    Parnossah and joy should be thine.

    The message is good from Hashem

    Gilad will be home once again

    He will finally do a brocha

    With his entire mishpocha

    We need to daven for all IDF men (and women, of course).


    I made this one up one yr ago, i decided to bring it back up!

    At this time Hashem made an Os,

    We bless it over the wine in our Cos,

    All our worries are dropped,

    And melacha is stopped,

    Enjoy this Shabbos Parshas Toldos!

    Good Shabbos!


    blinky: love it!!



    They thank once a year

    over a turkey dinner and beer

    for all the country’s good

    especially all the food

    which eventually their theighs will wear

    But not the Chosen Nation

    who expresses his elation

    for all that He has given

    Our gratitude towards Him

    We express EACH DAY in prostration

    Shticky Guy

    BaalHabooze welcome to Limericks

    You fellow full of liqor and tricks

    Its a great thread although

    Of late its been real slow

    So come here and your name we’ll affix

    “We express EACH DAY in prostration”?

    That was a puzzling revelation

    We prostrate just a smidgen

    Unlike another religion

    Boy, I’m real glad for this limitation

    Unless you were thinking of ‘bow’

    More than that my back wont allow

    Without some exercise

    I will agonize

    My body will protest, and how

    Minyan Gal, Smartcookie and Blinky

    Without you this thread it did shrinky

    If I give you a poke

    Will you think it’s a joke

    Or will you come turn this page from a dinky


    After Havdalah and smelling some clove,

    I’d like to wish all a Shavua & Chodesh Tov,

    Great to be back on this page

    Haven’t posted limericks in quite an age

    Now back to washing dishes and scrubbing my stove!


    there once was a troll

    who had a mole

    he was hairy

    he was scary

    he had no soul


    I so love this time of year

    the leaves-sprinkled streets and cold autumn air

    Am I the only one?

    that is having so much fun

    taking in life’s beauty, over a cold glass of beer

    The colors of fall makes its theme

    yellow, orange, and red, replacing green

    my garden’s a delight to see

    bedecked in the season’s finery

    till my wife handed me a rake and said, “Go clean”


    As requested by Ken Zayn here is a limerick

    Limericks can be fun,

    But ideas I have none,

    To be quite frank

    My mind is blank

    Never mind I think its done!

    Attention all the poets out there,

    Come join I know you are still here,

    Lets reunite,

    On this night,

    And write a limerick if you dare!


    i will contribute a line or 2

    to this thread for all of you

    had a nice week here once again

    reading posts every now and then

    but gotta run & get dressed

    for the Holy Day of Rest

    for if not now then when?


    When writing a good limerick

    Here’s advice that I do hope will stick.

    Keep up with the meter,

    The words will sound sweeter;

    And of compliments, you’ll have your pick.


    Hey, WB to all limerick old timers

    And hello to all, you new rhymers

    But where’s Minyan Gal

    Didn’t hear from her in a while

    Did she go join some mountain climbers?


    there once was little old a man amed joe

    whos favorite drink had the same name you know

    he drank all day

    till his face turned gray

    and this just goes to show


    hey moskidoodle, sounds like my old uncle in jail

    who’d drink till he turned completely pale

    he’d continue even while drivin’

    till police finally brought him in

    Now all his booze is up for sale


    There once was an old man from Esser

    whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser

    it at last grew so small

    he knew nothing at all

    and now he’s a college professor.

    Happy finals week everyone.


    thank you izche for the funny lim-er-ick

    now its time for me to pray that he picks

    the questions i know

    and synapses flow

    and the professor is not a nitpick(er)

    home stretch of info, here i come!


    Oh, how I hated college and school

    I was known as the dreikup, the letz, the class fool

    All the work that I did

    Was ridiculed and derided

    How I grew up to be half-normal is a question

    That I will answer so pay good attention

    With a strong will to succeed

    Nothing can stop you indeed

    Ok, alright, not really a CEO

    But a boozer I will forever be

    And I FEEL rich and live happily


    Shticky Guy

    A warm welcome back to BaalHabooze

    I was sorry to hear of your news

    That your son he was ill

    And was in hospital until

    You came back here to share out your views

    During your absence I can say

    That I also have stayed away

    Because I was depicted

    As being addicted

    A title which really doesnt pay

    So for now I just occasionally lurk

    And get on with my life and my work

    It was a great fight

    To keep off this site

    Which brings knowledge and many a smirk

    Now for some limericks, aha

    Apart from the weekly Parsha

    We can write of the glory

    Of the ancient story

    Of the festival we call Chanuka

    It was an amazing battle

    The mighty Greek army did rattle

    Antiyochus the thug

    Overlooked an oil jug

    And of this great Nes we do prattle

    That amongst the great fighting and turmoil

    That did the Beis Hamikdosh embroil

    When the Maccabees did yearn

    For pure shemen to burn

    They discovered a sealed jug of oil


    there once was a boy named zevy,

    who was not at all heavy,

    he learned all day,

    and got no pay,

    because he was a kollel man

    ooooohhhhhh, he was a kollel man


    oy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy,

    oy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy,

    oy yoy yoy yoy,

    oy yoy yoy yoy,

    and they wouldnt let him in the band.


    I once had a teacher who was so mean

    All he did all day is complain and scream

    One day we had had enough

    Of his strictness, so tough

    So we filled up his boots with ice cream.


    I made this one up a year ago (i changed it a bit)

    Jews are celebrating this week,

    How they were saved from Greek,

    Weak won the strong,

    And a jug lasted long,

    So Al Hanisim we do speak!

    Shticky- yours are amazing i like the thug one!

    Freilichin Chanukah!


    Our diet on Chanukah we do cheat,

    As there are fried donuts that we eat,

    And the potato patty,

    Can be quite fatty,

    But it will be our once a year treat!

    Shticky Guy

    If donuts once a year would be our fate

    Then we still would not gain too much weight

    But Blinky you’re mistaken

    For its not just once we’re bakin’

    And we dont only keep 7 days but 8!


    At least we have a valid excuse

    For 8 days a gallon of oil to use

    You’ll go straight to Gan Eden

    If in oil you’ll be bathin’

    So some more donuts do not refuse!


    Shticky you are absolutely right,

    Channukah is not just one night,

    With all the Yomom Tovim,

    In addition to Purim,

    Our clothes also start to get tight!

    Smartcookie- hi!


    Hey blinks, Hi to you!

    I’m still around but you’re taboo

    From the CR you disappeared

    Did anyone here get you scared?

    Please come by more often than you do!


    A new king came into play,

    Gave taxes for the Jews to pay,

    Yosefs death we mourn,

    But then Moshe was born,

    Who ended up saving the day.


    In a little basket a baby floated away

    Yet though he grew up in royalty

    Moshe expressed his loyalty

    To his brethren who suffered all day

    One day he found a bush on fire

    G-d said, you I want to hire

    So go spread the good news

    It is time to lead out the jews


    BH- you have rhyming talent but they are not quite limericks! Read the rules in the begining of the thread, maybe see if you can switch your poem to one!


    Our Torah tells wonderful maisos

    Of the start of our Avos and Emahos,

    But the point of each tale

    Is how Am Yisrael

    Were chosen by G-d to do mitzvos.


    Moshe struck an Egyptian dead,

    And made King Pharoh want his head,

    He ran to the waters,

    And met seven dauthers,

    And Tzipporah, his wife he did wed!

    oomis- thats a beautiful one!

    Shticky Guy

    I made this one up a year ago

    In the absence of recent additions, I’ll re-post one of my favorite ones from last year


    In the unfortunate absence of Minyan Gal, (where are you?), Minyan Guy will have to step in so here goes:

    In the sedras of ???? and ????

    The jews had a ????? ?????

    ??? went to the nile

    And ???? he did rile

    When he asked to be let out ?????

    In this weeks sedra called Bo

    He again asked “Let my people go”

    Cos if you dont then takke

    You’ll receive another makka

    But the stubbon king just said “NO!”

    So H’shem sent in swarms of locust

    that covered the ground like dust

    They came with a gale

    Eating the remnents of the hail

    ???? said “Please remove them, you must!”

    So ??? davenned and they went

    and ???? he tried to repent

    But he could play no more part

    cos H’shem hardened his heart

    So to free the Jews he could not consent

    Next came darkness – no sun’s rays

    And believe me it was more than a haze

    The dark they could feel

    It was such a big deal

    That no Mitzri could move for 3 days

    FInally ??? did warn

    Of the killing of every 1st born

    Bloody doorposts showed whose

    Were the homes of the Jews

    Every Mitzri, even ????, did mourn

    ???? ran out in his night dress

    But could not find ???’s address

    So the kids they did play

    Sending ???? astray

    They had fun with his Royal Highness

    Suddenely ??? he found

    But when he said “GO NOW”, ??? frowned

    They went only the next morning

    ???? chased without warning

    And into the Yam Suf they drowned

    The lesson from all this is clear

    At my limerick dont sneer but cheer

    Writing this is gr8 fun

    SO come on everyone

    But please dont put it off till next year!


    good stuff, Shticky Guy! that was great 🙂


    I remember when you made it up…its really amazing! You really have a lot of talent!

    ahhh the good old limerick days!


    Blinks, don’t despair

    Let’s bring the good old days back here

    A new limerick every hour

    So this thread won’t turn sour

    For all limerick creaters, cheers!


    i will try bl”n to contribute a lot

    to this limerick thread, a topic so hot

    according to rules they’ll be

    to blinky’s satisfactory

    throughout this cold month of Shevat.


    Thanx everyone! I made this one up before but being that its applicable now…

    Mazel Tov mazel tov this is not a ploy,

    Im an aunt of a new baby boy,

    A vacht nacht and bris,

    You won’t want to miss,

    Baruch Hashem for this happy joy!


    mazel tov Aunt Blinky!!!!!


    Blinky, a hearty Mazel tov

    For the new nephew you’ll love

    Does he have talent like you?

    To create limericks from new

    May he grow up to be an ehrliche rav!

    Shticky Guy

    Aunt Blinky a big mazeltov to you

    On the birth of your darling nephew

    It was gorgeous to hear

    Of the news you did share

    And we wish you your own simchas too


    Thank you thank you, your all so sweet,

    Yes, being an Aunt is very neat,

    To the newbie ill shower,

    With love every hour,

    And gifts to make my cash deplete!

    Good Shabbos!

    Shticky Guy

    We’re now up to limerick 698

    you know what, I really cant wait

    we are now so near

    in the thread I hold dear

    I’ll write some more out in a spate

    Shticky Guy

    Its limerick 699

    in this favorite ywn thread of mine

    I exclusively disclose

    as i do compose

    Limerick writing is really divine

    Shticky Guy

    “We’ve arrived! We’ve arrived!” I thundered

    so just in case you wondered

    please give a big cheer

    because now we are here



Viewing 50 posts - 651 through 700 (of 810 total)
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