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Why is it always AFTER I hit the send post button, that I notice all the typos
& misorganized sentences? ………WHY?
It’s not just that. Always in life I find similar situations like the previous one.
For instance, When i’m lost somewhere on the road at 1:00am, while my cell phone’s annoying beep alerts me that battery is almost dead. So I have my friend on the
phone with me trying to tell me the exit i need.
So right when I’m about to hear the exit I need to take the phone dies!
Then after pulling over & digging through the mess in the car finally finding the car charger, yeah you guessed it….. there is no reception in that area!
Or whenever I’m running to catch the elevator and just as I get there the doors close. Yeah, the same way the train doors close right when you get there. WHY???
All these things are sent to test you. Do you accept all these lille difficulties with complains or happily and remember there is a Master Plan.
why do you always think of the extremely witty rejoinder to someone’s comment after you’re leaving the party, on the way down the stairs?
why are we always putting in our 2 cents but only getting penny for our thoughts…
why is a wise guy not a wise man…
why is horrible horrific, but terrible is not terrific…
The shortest period of time is the period between the time we click on the “send” button and the time we realize we’ve just put something on the Internet we regret.
(The second shortest period of time is the period between the time that a traffic signal in New York City turns green and the time when the person behind you honks his horn because you didn’t instantaneously go forward.
Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway? WHY, why why, please tell me, SOMEONE?????????????????
Why is the thing I’m looking for in the last box I open??
Because after you find it you stop looking. 🙂 -77
Oomis: I guess the driveway was ‘invented’ before the parkway so they realized it too late? Lol just a guess!!
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it that to stop Windows 95 or 98, you have to click on “Start”?
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why do you need a driver’s license to buy booze when you can’t drink and drive?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavoured cat food?
Why did kamakazi pilots wear crash helmets?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
Practical answers to some of Bombmaniac’s questions:
“Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?”
(Not true. Trust me.)
“Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?”
(Because when we need to focus one of our senses more fully, it helps to take away the distractions affecting our other senses.)
“Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?”
(Aren’t they the metatarsals?)
“Why isn’t there mouse-flavoured cat food?”
(I have often asked myself the same thing – :), but I would imagine that it may be because there are poor people who actually EAT cat food, and it would be really gross).
“Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?”
(Not if they want to keep their jobs, they don’t!)
“What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? “
(Probably “none” or “N/A” )
Hope this helps us all get some sleep tonight.
why is it taht ppl say theyre BUSY but waste SO much time on the coffee room?
rivakles, who said were busy?
much like you…
How do you answer a curious youngster continuously asking “why” like a broken record?
“Z”
🙂
Getch’er fresh corn here.
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
You will. For the Dec. 30 lotto drawing.
Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
This is like asking why a vacuum salesman dumps dirt on your carpet. To justify the need for its own existence.
Why is a boxing ring square?
The boxing ring is the ringing in the ears of the 86% (estimated by the A.M.A.) of boxers with brain damage.
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why is it that to stop Windows 95 or 98, you have to click on “Start”?
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
So are some cars.
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why do you need a driver’s license to buy booze when you can’t drink and drive?
Liquor store owners like to laugh at your funny license picture.
Why isn’t there mouse-flavoured cat food?
Why did kamakazi pilots wear crash helmets?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Do dead musicians decompose? Are divorcees debrided? Are optimists decanted?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
If UPS and Chuck Wagon merged what would it be called?
Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
Lipton is very accommodating to employees wanting to take coffee breaks. They are free to enjoy their libation in the Julius & Ethel Rosenberg room.
What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
Caucasian, Black or Asian?
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
ICOT: Thanks. I love starting my day with a laugh!
I can answer one question!
I asked my dad what his hair color is on his driver’s license, and he said “BAL” 😉
(his hair is all on his face!)
bein_hasdorim-
bombmaniac-
bombmaniac-
Thank you.
us firefox…im pretty sure you can find a language pack for hebrew. as for the tramsliteration…well thats just hit or miss :D:D:D
My kids favorite:
Is water wet before you touch it? (Maybe the contact with skin is what activates the wetness? How would you know if not?)
Whoops!
I just realized that the third “thank you” addressee on the prior post was “bombmaniac” a second time instead of “haifagirl” as I had intended. Sorry – my “control-c” skills require more practice.
bombmaniac-
Thank you for the info.
My old .5gb-memory computer is groaning under its current load, so I’m avoiding any Firefox add-ons.
bein_hasdorim: Because if you were god wouldnt you think it was funny every time that happened?
oomis1105: Because if you parked on the parkway youd probably have a lot of people crashing into you and if you drove in your driveway chances are youd crash into your house!!
Rochelimeinu: 77 got it 😉
i see u had a hard time dealing with rivakles question SMIRK its hard to admit a weakness!! i agree with rivakles ppl waste SO much time but ya ya i waste time toooo so much for that!
If a a tree falls in a forest and hits a mime, does anyone care?
(classic gary larson – farside comic – my personal favorite comic strip)
where do people who work at the fire hydrant factory park?
why is a round pizza in a square box?
GOODY613 HEE HEE GOOD ONE!
If a a tree falls in a forest and hits a mime, does anyone care?
That reminds me of a true story that just happened this past autumn.
A mime was supposed to meet his friend in Central Park at 9:00AM on a Sunday near an old oak tree. Both he and his friend forgot to set their clocks back the previous night, so they met at 8:00AM instead by mistake. They wrapped up their meeting a couple of minutes before 9:00. At exactly 9:00AM, a huge branch crashed down exactly where they had been standing. The following day’s newspaper summed up the story: “A switch in time saves mime”.
where do people who work at the fire hydrant factory park?
As any New Yorker knows, if you park your car 3′ from the curb and turn on your hazards it’s perfectly legal to park by a hydrant.
why is a round pizza in a square box?
So it won’t roll away when the delivery boy puts it down to tie his shoes.
GOODY613:
WIKI ANSWERS:
Square boxes are easier to make, ship and store flat. Round boxes typically have to be pre-made and are more bulky to transport.
Circular pizza is easier to cut into slices. Also, if the pizza were square, it would look weird.
If a round pizza came in a round box and fit perfectly how would we get a slice out without struggling or making a total mess…we need the edges of empty space to be able to get at the pizza.
Is it possible to make a round box that is hinged and locks? If it is I am pretty sure it would be expensive rather a square box is not only more common but it is cheap aswell
some people just have too much time on their hands…
On the very off chance that anyone took my previous post seriously:
1) The Central Park story is not true.
2) There is no such parking law.
Thank you for the fast post, Sir Speedy ?
there is actually such thing as round pizza boxes that fold flat but there very annoying
People who work at the fire hydrant factory park backwards because they know they won’t get a ticket anyway since they are the ones that are making the hydrant illegal to park in front of. Bottom line: they don’t need to find a legal parking space because they’ll park illegally anyway.
why do our noses run, and feet smell?!?
Maybe we are upside down….
i once saw a whole list of whys and the one i wrote was the ony one from that list thatwasnt posted here
Our nose runs down to our feet therefore our feet must smell!
while on the subject of getting pulled over…has anyone here been pulled over by a cop with the new “rumbler” siren??/ WOW! now THAT will get your attention! drivers seat vibrates…
hey yoshi another way to answer is: y is a crooked letter
Funny Stuff.
Here is an oldie:…why cant your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it will be a foot!
Just lucky, I guess…
Why do people think that swaying their arms back and forth could change the direction of a bowling ball?
Well, it can before you release the ball. 🙂
At a concert which arm rest is yours? the left? the right? …Both?
Whatever you and your seatmate decide.
Did Noach have woodpeckers on the Teivah? If he did, where did he keep them?
Probably yes. You might ask the same question about termites. If God could stop the predators from feasting on their prey for the duration of the flood, He could certainly prevent the woodpeckers from pecking the wood.
Do bald people get Dandruff?
Only if they have dry scalps.
Why can’t donuts be square?
They can. It’s just much easier to make them round.
What do Greeks say when they don’t understand something?
They probably say “I don’t understand” in Greek. (Perhaps they say “It’s all Latin to me?”)
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Nope.
The Wolf
Since dandruff is caused by overproduction of sebum by the hair follicles, along with seborrheic dermatitis, and since bald people generally have atrophic hair follicles, I would imagine bald people don’t get dandruff.
Of course there were woodpeckers on the Tayvah, otherwise there wood be no woodpeckers today.
about the square pizza boxes, someone (bored soul!) invented a pizza box that the top comes off (perforated lines allow you to tear the box apart) and splits into 4 to make 4 plates. Then the bottom of the box folds in half to store the extra pizza. Its called the Green Box.
EDITED
How do you know when sour cream goes bad?
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