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The little I know,
Our society of today is afflicted with a serious disease that cannot be cured, only eradicated.
For instance, SJW’s are obsessed with this stuff. Whites are automatically considered racist, and crimes against them are justified. Does that sound acceptable? Well, the MSM would have you believing that. Yes, Google used this approach to fire an employee. Democrats tout this garbage all the time. No, it will not mellow and become less virulent over time. It will gain strength like a hurricane, and do at least as much damage.
You do a good job proving your point about declining civility and castigating people with different opinions from you by modeling the behavior yourself.
CTLAWYER,
We’ve always kept cleaning chemicals and bug chemicals, etc under lock and key.
It’s still an element of babyproofing, even if the original intent was senile-relative/non-English-speaking-help-proofing. I’m sure once you had young children in the house, their safety became part of the calculus for keeping those items away, despite the boundary setting and supervision.
Our kitchens are locked because we live in small town New England.
Yet your lead-off reason for locking the kitchen given above was “so no child…”, so obviously children were part of the equation here too, not just your non-Jewish houseguests.
Why do you find it problematic that someone might consider the safety measures you have taken in your home to be considered babyproofing?
But what if the clothing is newly bought?
mw13,
I had this thought that America was more civil when everyone smoked.
1. Correlation does not imply causation
2. The author likely is not Jewish, or black. America doesn’t feel so civil if you have to drink from a separate water fountain, or when facing a quota (avoid having too many Jews in this college!)Syag Lchochma,
As I understood it he said that he didn’t baby proof, then he said that he had to make some changes because of changes in the building codes which are similar to what you would do for baby proofing.
Agreed on the outlets – he did mention that he upgraded his electrical in 2017. But he also mentioned locking the kitchen and keeping chemicals and breakables up (albeit the latter for his dogs). Other than gates on the stairs, that’s all we have done to babyproof our home. And yet we also set boundaries and supervise closely. I don’t see it as an either-or.
CTLAWYER,
We never ‘babyproofed’ our home.
But then you go on to describe replacing outlets with child safe ones, keeping the kitchen locked, keeping chemicals in locked cabinets, and keep breakables out of reach. Most people would call that babyproofing.
Joseph,
But (correctly) using that criteria you should also be frustrated and disappointed that your date wasn’t the right person for you even if he/she was a very nice refined Yid.
Two points:
1. There is a much higher potential for a very nice refined Yid to be the right person. A good marriage is based more on a constant, conscious choice to commit oneself to Hashem and his/her spouse than checking off every random box on a list, or some hocus pocus concept of “besheret”.
2. Even if the nice refined Yid was definitely not the right person, despite the frustration and disappointment, there is more hope for the next date than if the previous date was a dud.
Joseph,
The best answer to your OP is this golden nugget from Shloime above:
neither her nor you are there for the dinner; you are meeting hoping that it can work
Fundamentally it’s not about the dinner, the activity, the walk to the door, etc. It’s about finding a spouse. So it’s frustrating and disappointing to find a louse.
Joseph,
why would you have wanted him to not say no if he truly was a boor who was a bore smelling like a boar?
I can’t speak for Nechomah, but probably because it added insult to injury.
WinnieThePooh,
Those sound like horrible experiences, but B”H they revealed their characters on the first dates, rather than fooling you with a show.
Or who pretend not to know this.
Lightbrite,
When are your kids old enough for you to un-babyproof your home?
Depends on the family. By age 3, many toddlers can open baby gates themselves and can pull chairs over to access items on shelves, and babyproofing gives way to chinuch. But then there may be younger siblings, and eventually iy”H grandchildren.
BTW, sharp edges can be a bane for adults too, not just children!
It’s the same principle as your point in the thread you opened about graphic images on YWN. The fear and tension generated by such birth horror stories outweighs any benefit of knowing all those details.
If, for example, you are using Chrome, and have the browser set to “continue where I left off” when launched, then your cookies get stored on your hard drive so that Chrome can set everything up the way it was when you last closed the browser. This may happen even if you have a setting to delete cookies when closing the browser.
Joseph,
what’s so geferlech if instead of him driving she drives or if she supplies the car or they take an Uber or car service? Is that really the end of the world?
Certainly not, but the polite thing for him to do is to inform his date in advance.
And how do you know Meno was responding to you, and not to dovrosenbaum?
Joseph,
Read the OP again. I’m not complaining whatsoever.
Then your entire first paragraph is superfluous.
Gadolhadorah,
Cool! I did not know that. Shabbos minyan?
dovrosenbaum,
It’s like most other things in life. Men get the short end of the stick.
Ugh, more whining. Sorry you have to wake up early to say shelo asani isha, had to learn Torah on Sundays in high school, or whatever else makes you feel aggrieved.
The girl sits there, orders food and doesn’t pay,
If this really bothers you, then let her know that she’ll need to pay for her food. Nobody’s forcing you to pay for anything.
and generally could care less about the guy; she cares about his looks, his status or parnassa, etc.
Seems like you couldn’t care less about “the gal” either. You might get better results from your dating if you didn’t start out hating her guts because she’s female.
There’s a Kensington in Maryland too, but there’s no frum community in it.
Shopping613,
Actually there’s another point about texting, that most people are actually addicted to it. I’m no exaggerating.
This is very true, and is part of the reason that smartphones have had such a large cultural impact. It’s good to be aware of this influence.
Joseph,
Oh hush up with the whining and learn how to be a real man.
1. Real men plan and make decisions.
2. Keep the car clean on a regular basis, and it won’t be an ordeal to clean it for a date, and as an added bonus, it won’t smell like a decomposing squirrel, which will go a long way towards reducing complaints.
3. Nobody’s forcing anyone to spend a fortune. It’s a choice, so own it.
4. Be grateful for the opportunity to speak with the people who may eventually become your in-laws. Nerve wracking? Sure! But grow up and be a man.If this stuff bothers you, then date a feminist who insists on paying her own way. Or stay home. The “boys rule, girls drool” stuff got old long before you turned 10. Just saying.
zahavasdad,
but it could very well be the person was expecting some important information.
This is absolutely possible, and the polite thing to do in that case is to put your phone on vibrate, and if you feel it vibrating, step outside to make the call or read the text.
HIE,
Additionally, i’m not the boss of my house. I wish I wouldn’t be on the Internet, but it’s in the house. Iyh when I do build my own home I will make tremendous effort to keep this rubbish out of my home.
This sounds a bit like a cop-out. Unless the “boss” of your house is requiring you to be on the Internet for some reason, just because the Internet is available in your home does not mean you have to be on it.
HIE,
People come early to davening and use their time to check their emails which they just checking 3 minutes ago anyway.
One of the first times I saw someone perusing a smartphone during davening, I felt shocked and appalled, until it hit me that the fellow was using his smartphone as a siddur. I personally think it’s much better to use a siddur than a phone to daven, but it was a good lesson for me in dan l’kaf zechus.
Some people that you talk to can’t hold them self back from looking at their phone while their talking to you. HULLO? I’m talking to you! Whats wrong with you?!
I agree that this behavior is intensely rude. Smartphones have been an extremely disruptive technology to society so far, causing rapid changes to culture, language, and behavior. Some of those changes have been positive, but there are also some serious negative impacts, many of which you enumerated in your OP.
That said, your blanket condemnation of your fellow Jews and this generation makes me uncomfortable.
DovidBT,
The facts that “eretz” is a feminine noun and “makom” is a masculine noun were told to Moses by Hashem. The gender labels are not just an arbitrary human-created convention to help remember the language structure.
I’m not sure why there has to be an either-or setup here. In the Chumash, we see some words treated as feminine (i.e., treated the same way grammatically as female people), and others as masculine. No convention has to be invented to see this.
A poem for RebYidd twenty-three
Written by a frum Jew like me
Who as a fun gimmick
Made it a limerick
And not free verse I hope you see!Joseph,
Isn’t the “Baltimore” frum community outside of Baltimore proper?
There is Baltimore City (what you’d call Baltimore proper) and Baltimore County, which surrounds the city. A lot of the frum areas are within Baltimore City.
PosterGirl,
Can you articulate what Health is “standing up for”?
mw13,
Given the fact that you think that disease outbreak is ultimately caused by people who don’t vaccinate, and don’t attribute it entirely to Hashem, does that make you an apikores?
Joseph,
Why?
Very tragic news. A healthy 35 year old dying from a pneumococcal meningitis is extremely rare. In fact, I don’t believe routine vaccinations are done for adults under 65 years. Giving Prevnar to infants is intented to protect them from infection, not necessarily their parents.
BTW – the Internet is already full to the brim with vaccine horror stories, so you’re better off fighting this issue with logic, not scare tactics.
ubiquitin,
So I met MalkiTzedek the other day, (he is really old) can i give him pidyon haben money? and If I do am I mikayem the mitzvah of pidyon haben?
No – because Malchitzedek I believe ultimately lost the kehuna to Avraham and his descendants. If one Kohen Gadol “steps down” and another Kohen Gadol takes his place, is the former man still Kohen Gadol?
BTW Avram if you are still reading, note WTP who correctly points out that we agree, still says “the form PROBABLY differed from the literal sense that we are familiar with now.”
ITs this hesitency and equivocating that throws me off.I personally am much more bothered by misplaced certainty than uncertainty.
ubiquitin,
HaLeiVi himself writes in this very thead:
Yes, we all know by now that Aggados are very deep and aren’t necessarily meant to take at face value. This is step one. We see a strange Maamar and we understand that it is something deeper than what meets the eye.
Doesn’t sound like his position is anything like what you say it is.
ubiquitin,
“concept of Kohanim” arent kohanim. I f I redeem my bechor with a big tzadik who I say fullfils the “concept of khanim” you would say (correctly) that I didnt do the mitzvah
The Torah attests that Shem (Malchitzedek) had a form of kehuna. So yes, you are correct that there was no Aharon or bnei Aharon alive yet, so Avraham Avinu did not have access to the kohanim that we are supposed to give maaser to, but I don’t get how you say they could not have fulfilled the mitzva, since they did have access to a kohen.
ubiquitin,
Sorry, I didint record the conversationg in real life.
In your follow-up, you did paraphrase a conversation you had, and that’s fine. But your lead-off example (and people usually lead off with a strong example) didn’t seem to match the point you were trying to make.
Yes and that sint true. For example we are mikayem pidyan haben which the Avos didnt as there were no kohanim.
Ah, now the goalposts are moving. I understood your original statement to be that you are bothered by people who believe the Avos somehow literally kept all 613 mitzvos, a feat that is technically impossible for a single individual to do, in any historical period, since certain mitzvos are dependent on identity, place, and time (e.g., an individual cannot both offer the pesach and pesach sheini). This is a very strange notion, and I probed you on it a few times to make sure I understood, and you confirmed it each time. That notion, however, is quite different from an argument that the Avos kept the mitzvos the way we do today, or rather, the way our forefathers did in the days when the Beis Hamikdash was standing. If you want to switch your argument to that, then fine, we agree.
Im confused are you saying nobody there said this ?
Nobody there claimed that the Avos performed the impossible feat of keeping all 613, simultaneously being Kohen Gadol, Kohen, Levi, Yisroel, male, female, have a brother pass away childless, being tahor and on time on the 14th of Nissan, and simultaneously not, etc. The strongest claim was that the Avos performed mitzvos like a regular Jew, and even these claimants were quickly refuted.
Read my discussion with Halevai, on that thread. As I understood him and he seemed to be understanding me he was arguing that the Avos literally kept the entire mitzvah. At no point does he say he doesn’t literally mean the entire Torah.
I’ll reread it, though I don’t recall him making that point. Looks like he’s here to respond himself as well, so I’ll read that with interest too.
Again if you think i misunderstood him. Im not that invested in this, that isnt really my .
Ksssshhhh <crackle> Houston! You’re breaking up! Kssssshhh I didn’t fully receive your last transmission! Please repeat your message! Ksssshhhhh
Fine Nobody on YWN ever understood that Gemara as being absolutely true in a literal sense.
Ok I accept.
What?? You’ll go back and forth with Health dozens and dozens of times, but I get this? Guess what! I have a supreme court case that backs me up! Pay me a million dollars and I’ll give you the name of it!
ubiquitin,
first of all, I interact with people in real life too.
I’m sure you do, but the only supporting example you brought was that thread, which wasn’t really a good support.
Secondly “Not a single poster in the thread claimed that the Avos literally kept every single one of the 613 mitzvos”
not quite, as you identify one poster who DID claim that, read through it there were few others as well.
Nope, sorry. I did read through it. And again, the strongest assertion that was made was that the Avos followed the mitzvos the way we follow them today. If you think I missed something, supply a quotation.
Though the Rayah turned out to be from “Im lavon Gart ves Taryag Mitzvos shomarti” (too people not think that Rashi is well known?) He called me a Kofer when I said that Rashi (and the midrash he was quoting couldnt be literal)
He wasnt the only one.You and the Wolf need new acquaintances, that’s for sure! However, you seem to think that posters in the thread you linked to above are making the same point, which is not the case.
ubiquitin,
I skimmed through that thread, and if anything it strengthens my question to you. Not a single poster in the thread claimed that the Avos literally kept every single one of the 613 mitzvos, i.e., giving terumos to a kohen and then eating them in a pure place as a kohen.
The strongest assertion in there was by dafyomi2711, that the Avos had the same Chumash, Mishna, and Gemara that we have, and therefore, they would do the mitzvos exactly how we do them today. He was quickly stymied by questions from on the ball, however, and subsequently accepted that the Avos may have had a different perception of the Torah than we do today, and even followed mitzvos differently.
I think the source of your bother is a misconception.
Is it a sport among medical “professionals” to bash any and all other medical “professionals”? If I bash every lawyer and jurist in my path, can I fool people into thinking that I’m a Supreme Court Justice?
ubiquitin,
Im not.
I’m bothered when people say that they literally kept all the mitzvos.Are you sure that the “people” who bother you really mean “literally” in the absolute, given that the tehillim attest that Dovid Hamelech kept “all” of the mitzvos, even though he was not a Kohen or Levi, and himself stated, “I have sinned to Hashem!”?
Nobody can “literally” keep all 613, sense we cannot simultaneously be a Kohen, Levi, and Yisroel, but we can still be credited with keeping “all” of the mitzvos.
gefilte,
I often hear people say you shouldn’t try to understand the reasons for mitzvos, rather you should just do them because Hashem says so.
Sometimes the Torah gives us the reason for a mitzva. Sometimes, especially for many bein adam l’chaveiro mitzvos, the reasons seem evident. But for most mitzvos, no reason is given at all, and we cannot fully understand why it was given. The risk of inventing reasons for mitzvos that sound good to us, is that we can unintentionally cheapen the mitzvos by replacing Hashem’s infinite wisdom with our limited wisdom in a desire to ascribe meaning to things. And if our finite wisdom subsequently changes, we might CV”S see the mitzva “based” on that wisdom as obsolete.
But isn’t the entire Torah sheBaal Peh dedicated to understanding the mitzvos and the reasons we do them?
No. The oral Torah and our traditions based on it are dedicated to understanding how to do the mitzvos.
After all, understanding the reasons for mitzvos often helps us determine who/when/what circumstances the mitzvah applies.
And that’s precisely the danger. We can’t invent a reason for a mitzva and then use that invented reason to say the mitzva does or does not apply here or there. And even if a reason for a mitzva was given to us, we cannot throw it out because we now think that reason no longer applies. You will not see fish and meat together on my plate, even though non-Jews eat gumbos and “surf and turf” all the time with no visible sakana.
Joseph,
Will any Jew ever sin, large or small, in the post-Moshiach and/or post-Third Beis HaMikdash period?
I hope not!
My understanding from what I’ve heard, is that after Moshiach comes and the Beis Hamikdash is rebuilt, the knowledge of G-d will fill the world as the waters fill the seas (Yeshayahu perek 11 and Chavakuk perek 2), so humanity and the Jewish people in particular will have a much greater awareness of Hashem, which will undoubtedly increase our fear of sin. Additionally, I’ve heard that our yetzer hara, which was altered to become a more powerful and confusing force in our psyches by Adam Harishon’s decision to eat from the etz pri hadaas, will be restored to the way it was in Gan Eden. This doesn’t mean that people cannot or will not sin, but it means that we will view sinful choices in a much more clearheaded light, seeing it as falsehood. So our fear of sin will increase dramatically, and the temptation and confusion of the yetzer hara that leads us to sin will be reduced dramatically.
besalel,
Rashbijr: your implication that having more than one wife encroaches upon pritzis and znus issues is highly ignorant and biased.
Having more than one wife is not an issue of pritzus or znus. Joseph’s seeming fixation with it through multiple posts and threads on the CR may be a different story.
Maybe they all ordered the fish. Or maybe sefardi guy persuaded them with his brilliant arguments in this thread to adopt Sefardic minhagim, so they’re eating meat through Shabbos Devarim (sorry, Shabbat).
Avi K,
However, Hashem gave us the use (Tehillim 115:16). That is why it is called Eretz Yisrael.
True, Hashem has given the world to mankind to use – in His service.
Avi K,
As for control of Ha HaBayit, do you believe that it is ours? Do you believe that EY is ours? If not, what are you doing here?
I believe Har Habayis and Eretz Yisroel belong to Hashem.
oyyoyyoy,
Thank you for this letter, it was very meaningful.
A few points:
1. At the end of the interview, the interviewer asks the boy if he is a student of the “holy scriptures”, and the boy said no, he is a university student. Clearly that does not reflect the typical “Chareidi Yeshiva Bochur”, so why use that label? Agenda much?
2. I strongly disagree with the boy’s opinions on the metal detectors, and I was surprised to learn that there weren’t metal detectors [until] after the incidents of this past week. Jews have to pass through them to go to the Kosel, after all. But to call him a despicable boy is extremely out of line. He was not holding signs and making a public spectacle of himself in the middle of Manhattan a la Neturei Karta. He got asked to do an interview, and he seemed rather unprepared for it.
3. We’re about to hit the 12 hour mark since this thread was published, and no sign of Joseph yet.
There’s a Chabad in Asheville, NC, and another in Lynchburg, VA (associated with Virginia Tech). And there’s a small Orthodox community I think in Harrisburg, PA, which is along the front range of the Appalachians. Other than that, I don’t know of anything.