Bodek

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  • in reply to: Physics – Relativity #790659

    Bodek
    Participant

    Common…. Does anybody here not understand the theory of relativity?!?

    in reply to: YWCR Slow? #683405

    Bodek
    Participant

    Slow is not the word,

    and to quote DA “DEADEADEADEADEADEADEADEADEADEADEADEADEADEADEAD!”

    why was the the 4th or fifth of the latest threads posted 7 hours ago?

    Where did all the loyal CR bloggers disappear to?

    in reply to: ShidduchimGirls are Shallow #1134565

    Bodek
    Participant

    Mod 80- can we change the name of the thread to somthing that got do do with it?

    here’s one idea: “Single Working Guys Crises”

    Popa-bar-abba: since this is your thread – i hereby give you permission to veto my title…

    in reply to: ShidduchimGirls are Shallow #1134562

    Bodek
    Participant

    Can we get this thread back on topic?

    “How many guys do you know who leave yeshiva shortly after getting married. I am in yeshiva and have seen many. It is well known that it is extremely difficult to get a shidduch of the same level of religiosity once one leaves yeshiva. This is very detrimental to those guys who should be leaving yeshiva, as they are pressured to stay and often waste their time instead of moving on in life.”

    IMHO: the workplace today is not a very good enviroment for a single guy to be in. Its sad to say, but for so many guys, once they make the move and go out to work its a downhill battle. Even if someone is not learning the whole day in yeshiva at least he is surrounded by good people.

    Once a guy gets married, he is usually more settled in life (i.e. Pas Besalo) and will have an easier time battling such temptations as inappropriate office relationships and internet useage.

    in reply to: Shidduchim: Girls & Size Zeros #880363

    Bodek
    Participant

    Deal is a wealthy, Sefardi enclave near Lakewood NJ

    in reply to: Shidduchim: Girls & Size Zeros #880361

    Bodek
    Participant

    And I was sure BP Totty was a Boro Park Dad!

    Mod 80, how many Fogel’s do you know in Deal? I have alot more Farhi and Mizrahi friends living there 😉

    in reply to: Bitochan/Shiduchim #690618

    Bodek
    Participant

    Another thing, sometimes when a girl (19-24) says she’s very happy being single, doesn’t want to get married etc. she is simply trying to protect herself from getting hurt when she gets dumped after dates or is not getting too many shidduchim redd to her. This way, if she gets a “no” she can say, “who cares, I don’t want to get married yet anyway.” It’s sad, but if you think about it, its quite true.

    in reply to: Bitochan/Shiduchim #690617

    Bodek
    Participant

    Azoi.is – when someone says they are happy being single– it does not necessarily mean they are not looking and trying to get married.

    They are just accepting their situation for what it is and trying to live their lives as best as they can…in other words “Chayim Birtzono.”

    in reply to: Bitochan/Shiduchim #690604

    Bodek
    Participant

    Oomis, I was talking to my friend the other day – she said she’s really enjoying life being single and all, no major pressures or responsibilities… but she is almost made to feel guilty for saying this…

    I think people have to calm down a bit, and realize that life is not a race. The main thing is not how soon one gets enagaged and married, but what kind of happiness they will have once they reach this milestone.

    A bit of maturity always helps.

    in reply to: Lag B'Omer – Girls Tour #682889

    Bodek
    Participant

    Sounds like you are looking for a yeshivish type of tour! There are lots of organized tours, but i am not aware of any on lag baomer for your type – most of them are in the summer (like the yavne tour and neve program).

    I went to Israel with my friend around this time of year and had a really great time.

    We joined some Hoffman/Pesach Levy tours and did alot of touring ourselves (which was in a way more enjoyable).

    It’s a beautiful time of year to visit Israel.

    Enjoy 😉

    in reply to: Mirroring, listening the right way??? #682050

    Bodek
    Participant

    FYI: ROFL/ROTFL = Rolling on the floor with laughter!

    in reply to: Helping Man up with a Carriage #681562

    Bodek
    Participant

    Good Heart: if you really thought it was the right thing to do, you would not have posted this question.

    A couple of girls I know, once asked a certain Rabbi if it would be appropriate to hand out reflectors to boys/men they passed while driving at night. (If you ever drove down a dark street on a dark winter night and almost knocked over someone that was dressed totally in black, you’ll understand the need for this…) The Rabbi said they were right that the men should wear reflectors, but it would not be tznius for the girls to give them out.

    in reply to: What Is Google Buzz? #681816

    Bodek
    Participant

    Jewish grl: check out http://www.google.com/buzz

    in reply to: What Is Google Buzz? #681813

    Bodek
    Participant

    I think its somthing like twitter

    in reply to: Number of Participants in the Coffee Room #921507

    Bodek
    Participant

    Hey! who is gonna be the lucky #36?

    36 is a really auspicious number: its Chai-18 X 2 and even more noteworthy if your 36 you might just be a “lamid vavnik”

    36 Come out of your hiding place!!!

    in reply to: Who are the Quiet Girls Supposed To Marry? #897378

    Bodek
    Participant

    This Co-worker of mine is from a ultra, ultra orthodox – read- chassidish community.

    she said she started laughing quietly when the boy (now her husband) started with the vort – she thought it was funny that he was following all the “rules.” It was not much of a conversation starter, but it definitely broke the ice.

    I agree that this would not work for most people… just FYI…

    in reply to: Do we Need Some New Laws? #682537

    Bodek
    Participant

    Yes, lets get back this thread back on topic before the mods close it…

    Haifagirl: I guess it’s time for a discussion of laws, and what they really are.

    A law, simply stated, is a way for one group to regulate the behavior of another. This regulation can be carried out at gunpoint, if necessary.

    Which behavior do you really feel is so important that it requires that kind of action?

    Bodek: Any behavior that can negatively affect the quality of life of other people.

    So long as a bad action doesn’t cause (physical/spiritual) damage to others, I feel there is no need for a law to be out there restricting people.

    Wolfishmusings: That’s pretty restrictive. Based on that broad logic, you can ban cars because they cause noxious emmissions that negatively affect me.

    Wolfishmusings: I didn’t think your idea was wrong, Bodek — it just needs to be refined further. Using your logic, cars can be banned outright. Your idea was good, but needs further elaboration or restriction.

    I agree that my explanation for having laws can use some help.

    Anyone out there in cyberspace have a better definition?

    Or is Wolfishmusings the only other person besides me in this CR?

    in reply to: Do we Need Some New Laws? #682532

    Bodek
    Participant

    Last time i checked, the word mussings was not found in the dictionary.

    My sincerest apologies about the unintended insult.

    in reply to: Who are the Quiet Girls Supposed To Marry? #897373

    Bodek
    Participant

    I give up! I’m getting back to work now… good luck finding someone else to argue with…;)

    in reply to: Who are the Quiet Girls Supposed To Marry? #897371

    Bodek
    Participant

    In more heimish circles it is the accepted thing for the boy to start the conversation. For the girl to start would be pretty disrespectful.

    I have a very chassidishe co-worker that said in her circles the boy usually starts off with a small “vort” or somthing to break the ice.

    Yes, i know this is quite extreme, but it just proves my point…

    in reply to: Who are the Quiet Girls Supposed To Marry? #897369

    Bodek
    Participant

    “Oh and it IS the guys job to keep the conversation going.

    And where did you get that from? It’s not anyone’s “job.”

    The guy should be the one to start the conversation, and have some interesting topics to discuss.

    But you can not have a one sided conversation.

    Of course the girl has to do all she can to keep the date going smoothly, and bring up her own topics for discussion as well.

    in reply to: Do we Need Some New Laws? #682523

    Bodek
    Participant

    LOL 😉 Did wolfishmusings put in a complaint about this?

    not yet

    in reply to: Do we Need Some New Laws? #682522

    Bodek
    Participant

    Wolfish Mussings: since you do not agree to my reason for having laws, you must have some really Philosophical explanation for having them. I’m all ears…

    About your specific question, I wouldn’t go so far as to ban cars, but i would agree to having laws (which thankfully we do) such as speed limits, DWI, etc.

    minimally edited, in blue

    in reply to: Do we Need Some New Laws? #682519

    Bodek
    Participant

    Any behavior that can negatively affect the quality of life of other people.

    So long as a bad action doesn’t cause (physical/spiritual) damage to others, I feel there is no need for a law to be out there restricting people.

    in reply to: Are Regents Necessary? #681379

    Bodek
    Participant

    I’m gonna be brave now and disagree with most of the posters on this thread.

    When I was in school, I took all the regents.

    They were a great incentive to keep focused in class…They forced the teachers to finish the curiculum – and teach a lot more than they would have otherwise.

    I did not find them too hard, so it wasn’t much of a pressure…

    in fact the regents were usually easier than the regular tests i took throughout the year.

    However, I do agree that in many boys schools regents is a big waste of time…

    in reply to: Photography Course? #681387

    Bodek
    Participant

    there are some great tips for taking pictures and looking great in pictures on simchavision’s blog – simchavision.wordpress.com

    in reply to: Who are the Quiet Girls Supposed To Marry? #897363

    Bodek
    Participant

    WolfishMusings: Thanks for ideas…

    Mod #?: “Wolf, there’s nothing wrong with talking about the CR on dates, especially if there are interesting topics that can be discussed. What better way to spend a date then to discuss the shidduch crisis, age gap, etc. “

    there are alot of great topics here in the CR – as long as one doesn’t mention where they got their opinions from – it should be fine 😉

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #681086

    Bodek
    Participant

    AZ: I’m getting pretty annoyed with your replies to all questions

    “how badly do you want an answer to your question”

    if we didn’t want answers and we didn’t want them badly, we wouldn’t post the questions in the first place.

    Since you profess to be such an expert on the shidduch crisis, we posed our questions to you.

    If you do not have answers, it might be a good idea to just admit it – not all questions have answers you know…

    in reply to: Who are the Quiet Girls Supposed To Marry? #897358

    Bodek
    Participant

    OK, OK, i got the message…

    so where can i find such a book?

    in reply to: Who are the Quiet Girls Supposed To Marry? #897352

    Bodek
    Participant

    Wolfishmusings: It is the boys the job to keep the conversation flowing, so you did the right thing.

    in reply to: Who are the Quiet Girls Supposed To Marry? #897350

    Bodek
    Participant

    yeah – now that ur reminding me, but no one posted specific questions. they were more general…. it would be interesting to find a whole book filled with questions to ask on a date.

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #681054

    Bodek
    Participant

    Chassidish pple definitly have less expectations… ask rochelle about it – she seems to know alot about how they work.

    For one, the girls do not expect their husbands to learn forever – 2-3 years is considered beautiful by many.

    support is also not such an issue – since the husband goes to work sooner and can support the family.

    degree’s are not in the picture (could be its more accepted now – i’m not sure)

    looks are not a factor- since the chassidish boys haven’t been looking at girls since they are 13 (or earlier) so as long as a girl is not ugly – she has a big chance since she is not being compared to a rock star…

    anyone have anything else to add?

    feel free to add to my list 🙂

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #681052

    Bodek
    Participant

    I suggest that Volvie, AZ and Rachelle team up to start implementing the chassidishe model in more litvish circle.

    I wish you all lots of luck 😉

    in reply to: Who are the Quiet Girls Supposed To Marry? #897348

    Bodek
    Participant

    BTDATER: where can i find such a book?

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #681050

    Bodek
    Participant

    volvie: chassidish pple “date” when they are 17-18 and trust their parents fully to make the decisions for them. By the time the girl and boy meet, a wedding hall is practically booked, it is usually just a formality to see if the chemistry is right…

    Litvish pple date at an older age when they can think and make decissions for themself…thus to make a litvish person do things the chaddish way would be a bit rediculous.

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #681045

    Bodek
    Participant

    “Bodek and Volvie let me know when you want to know what is the ONE thing (ACTION) girls can do to alleviate the COMMUNAL situation “

    “ON the communal there is NOTHING they can do to directly alleviate their situation as tehy are already doing EVERYTHING right and still have no HOPE

    but they do have a secret power.”

    REALLY? what secret powers do we posses?

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #681019

    Bodek
    Participant

    Thanks for the additional pointers… and lets say i’m doing those as well…

    what shall i do?

    When my brother got engaged one of my great aunts said “Emuna hub ich, uber patience?!?”

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #681012

    Bodek
    Participant

    AZ: “but you can do something”

    can you give me some examples

    i’ve already done everything on your list ++++

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #681010

    Bodek
    Participant

    AZ: I was replying to Volvie and Tzippi’s question – I meant that comment a bit cynically, in case you didn’t notice.

    i don’t either believe in blaming and pointing fingers, since it doesn’t accomplish anything…

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #681007

    Bodek
    Participant

    Lets head back to the thread “blame the boys”

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #681000

    Bodek
    Participant

    Even if it is halachically correct to refer to older single girls as Akaros and Agunos, doesn’t mean you must refer to them by that name. I wonder if it would go under the category of onaas devorim.

    AZ: i have a question for you, when you see a single girl, is your first reaction – oh what a pity and sorry sight this agunah and akarah is? if it is, you can be sure that single girl will get your vibes of pity, and i’m not so sure she’ll appriciate it…

    As an aside thing, It’s funny because i sometimes wonder, what’s worse? To be married without children, or not to be married at all?

    Any opinion of this CR members?

    I’m curious if this thought crossed the mind of any other single girls out there.

    in reply to: General Shmooze 3 #902712

    Bodek
    Participant

    Keep Smiling 🙂

    in reply to: General Shmooze 3 #902711

    Bodek
    Participant

    Hi Everyone! i think we are done with the good nights for now…

    Enjoy ur day!

    in reply to: Number of Participants in the Coffee Room #921442

    Bodek
    Participant

    13… Ronsr you’re next!

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #680982

    Bodek
    Participant

    Volvie:

    “Bodek – My question to you was how it benefits you on a personal level (as opposed to the klal) by dating boys your age versus boys 3 years older than you.”

    I personally wouldn’t mind dating boys a year or so older than me -because of the maturity issue- if they were 3-5 years older i think they’d be jaded with dating and learning already.

    But there are not that many boys 1-3 years older than me, left in my circles.

    So dating boys in my age group is definitely the solution.

    I am very greatful that this new trend of “closingtheagegap” is causing many boys to rethink their priorities and be willing to consider someone that is not 19 anymore…

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #680972

    Bodek
    Participant

    Volvie: AZ answered your question for me-

    “See Bodek’s comment. What she meant was is that she is getting yesses she never would have gotten 5 years ago. Get with the program there aren’t to many 27 year old boys around (in yeshiva circles for sure.) “

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #680956

    Bodek
    Participant

    “but there is a still a very very LONG way to go to”

    Yes, AZ – you didn’t pick an ez job! But who says working for the Klal is ever easy? I would imagine, that it is usually thankless… the real reward -Keren Kayemes is in Olam Habah… we can all be jealous of what your place in olam habah will look like!

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #680951

    Bodek
    Participant

    “What the shadchanim can’t accept is how they are totally not appreciated for all time and energy invested when the shiddcuh goes to 3/4/5 dates and then falls apart.”

    Really now? do you want people that do not feel they are suitable for each other to get engaged just so that they should not hurt the shaddchans feelings?!?!?

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #680950

    Bodek
    Participant

    Boredjewishguy – you explained the $20 concept really well – thank you!

    AZ- i am very greatful for your involvement in the “closetheagegap” issue – these days many shidduchim are being redd for me of boys my age.

    five years ago (i was not in shidduchim then thank goodness!) this would have been unheard of…

    in reply to: Shadchanus – How Much? #680946

    Bodek
    Participant

    I’m sorry AZ – demand was the wrong word to use, shadchanim EXPECT more is probably be more accurate…

    BTW AZ are you a shadchan? do you get over 100 calls a day?

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 89 total)


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