CS

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  • in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2272448
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “Honestly?! Lovely that you judge yourselves favorably. That way you will always consider your way successful no matter how many children of shluchim and others go off.

    Am I the only one here who finds it frustrating to be arguing with someone who seems to be living in a virtual (un)reality?”

    But honestly I meant that the ones who go off don’t hide it with frum clothing. And therefore because secrecy isn’ta culture by us, people can always reach out for help openly

    Let me say though, I love seeing little chassidish children who have an air of innocence around them (sorry litvish nothing personal- I haven’t lived/ interacted in the yeshivish crowd yet.)

    Like I’m proud to bring my children on mivtzoim etc. and am proud of my derech, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the innocent culture that the Chassidish community promotes.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2272447
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “If they have a yetzer hara, and would like to be rid of it, then they have not abandoned any mitzva, which is the terminology you used.”

    Every yid internally wants to do the right thing- that’s what the Rambam says.

    That doesn’t mean that externally, anyone who is dishonest did it without any intention, as an honest mistake, and is eager to fix it. So my question to you was why are you singling out tznius as something to have zero tolerance for, but not honesty, lashon hara or any other of the 613 that people struggle with, or don’t bother with those aspects?

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2272446
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “Does the worker have to DEMAND his wages, or does it suffice if he merely asks (nicely) for them?”

    Honestly I’d need to see the exact lashon. I remember it quoted on this topic of demanding- would love to see the source

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2272445
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,
    “Right. And in Europe someone who wasn’t tzniusdik didn’t even want to send their kids to cheder. So he wasn’t talking about those types of families. He was talking about families that weren’t on a level of the “upper families”.”

    He didn’t say that this idea was only relevant to “certain not 💯 families.”

    But to your point, the Rambam writes not to put people who swear by Hashem’s Name in public nidui (when that was in use), because you’ll end up with no community.

    Similarly, throughout history, when communal standards fell in a certain area, even very important areas such as sota and murderers, the response was Sanhedrin shutting down, not executing however many Jews were unfortunately involved. Same with the Rambam I just mentioned.

    In todays day and age, if someone is lacking in a certain area, it is due to the world we live in, whether ignorance/ widespread exposure etc. So we work to uphold standards in positive ways, but this idea of shutting out any but all who look externally perfect- where is that in Yiddishkeit?

    And why is a lady who isn’t dressed tznius the biggest no no, but a man who dresses perfectly chassidish (notlubavitch) is forgiven for watching all the things he does on his devices, and is known he does, because at least he dresses the part? So alls good and his kids can join the school. But dressed imperfectly? Forget it!

    Please explain that one too

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2271276
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ You find it funny, but it find the above very sad. In ALL the seforim avodas habirurim is what is required since sheviras hakeilim, and when that is finished Mashiach arrives IMMEDIATELY. (Surprise, surprise! You can find all this on our erstwhile friend chabadpedia.) Yet your source – the LR, right? – says that we’ve finished avodas habirurim, and the fact that Mashiach hasn’t come yet means that Hashem is (c”v) doing something that doesn’t make sense. I suggest that it’s not c”v Hashem who doesn’t make sense. Rather it’s the one who purported that we have finished avodas habirurim!

    Is it any wonder that we look at some of the statements made by the LR and are unsure whether they border on apikorsus?”

    Again which sefarim all discuss this? Chabad? Other? Names?

    The Rebbe said that Avodas haBirurim is finished because he knew what he was talking about. He said at the same time that it should not make sense, that it must be that what Hashem wants of us now is to switch to the avoda of Welcoming Moshiach. According to the Rambam, the early Yemos HaMoshiach start in golus. What does it mean to welcome moshiach?

    A) to live your life as ready for moshiach to come any min. Say Hashem would declare Pesach any min, The readiness you’d have a as far as a chometz free house etc. so too, living with moshiach awareness means taking on and living with all the hachlotos you would want to do if you knew he’s coming now.

    B) spreading Moshiach awareness by learning Inyonei Moshiach and geula. For the not frum- just learning about what geula is and how to await it today. For the frum already- making it top in mind and lived with. For those interested, one may tell who Moshiach is, as this gives clarity on how to ready the world…

    Todays Tanya says the geula is an outgrowth of the work we put in in golus. The Rebbe saw that this concept extends to actually bringing the era here by helping people to live and want it, happen naturally in that way…

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2271259
    CS
    Participant

    Avira,

    “ n the lashon chazal, men are called tzadikim and women are called tznuos – it is THE ikar for a woman.”

    Chazal called Shaul a tzanua so not exactly, but The Rebbe also said tznius is the crown midda for a woman. Of course it’s important, just not something you exclude someone from a community for, any more than say lashon hara which is actually an explicit lav. There is no section of Gemara or anywhere else discussing tznius dress, whereas forbidden speech is.

    But like I said, excluding people in general is not our way. It seems to be a great hashkofa to raise adults who are not dan lkaf zechus, and promote a general attitude of sinas yisrael- where you’ll have a child with such an education calling a yid who walks into a store looking different than him a goy, whereas a Lubavitcher kid will say hey there’s a yid.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2271250
    CS
    Participant

    Avira,

    “ It’s halacha lemaaseh because the Rambam writes it in Mishne Torah, just as the rules for Mashiach are halacha lemaaseh because the Rambam writes them in Mishne Torah. That was always the official Lubavich line. Oh, I forgot. We pick and choose…

    Btw, I especially liked “I’m going to leave it at that.” How nice of you.”

    Moshiach is Halacha lmaase today, because the shulchan aruch etc. don’t discuss moshiach Halachos, only ones relevant in golus. Could be Nevuah falls under this category too. My point is simply that lubavitch never bright this aspect out so as I don’t feel sufficiently educated to address it, and it’s not lubavitch who is speaking of misa bidei shomayim etc. I’ll leave it for now. Anyone who is learned on our end and can look into it is welcome to.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2271244
    CS
    Participant

    Ah I see on I’m on p 11. Not bad.

    Avira,

    “ Are you intentionally missing the point? They are official shluchim, and they post pictures which, at times, have shown then doing things that are clearly against Shulchan Aruch (I’m talking about the area of tznius). What does bechira chofshis have to do with it? They should be told to stop or ‘dregistered” from Shlichus. Would you be ok with official shluchim posting pictures of themselves driving on Shabbos? Why is this any different?”

    Shlichus, as I’ve said, encompasses a vast number of people holding at different standards. It is not the top 10% of lubavitch. There is no background checks on someone’s standards before they are assigned, if they signed up. Afaik.

    The issue of posting has been addressed by Rabbonim at the shluchos convention. If there is a breach of Halacha or any serious complaints, one can contact the head shliach who the shliach is under.

    But again, we can make a difference whatever level we’re at. Chabad and even shlichus is not out for the top top. If it were, we’d have alot less impact. Everyone has something to give.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2271226
    CS
    Participant

    Hi just popping in to say hi and haven’t forgotten this thread. BH been very busy with many things. Also just a shout out regarding filters- we just installed on the laptop and on my phone, and really enjoying the updated filter experience. The old ones we had (k-9, iPhone) basically blocked everything but a list of individual sites- which didn’t work for me, or nothing but “adult content” sites. So we had the latter. But the new filters are much more customized and I’m really happy they exist and we have them.

    Just a note. I’m up to page ten when I start responding. In case I don’t get to it before hand, wishing you all a happy Purim.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269314
    CS
    Participant

    Just to correct, I should have said, I would think that most people who aren’t Chabad, and are sincere about their Yiddishkeit, maybe all, don’t think with the misnagdishe mindset displayed in the song. Everyone today has exposure to Chassidus and its attitudes and that’s why this song is an old Ukrainian/ Yiddish song, and there are no contemporary songs about Misnagdim. The reason why I like it is purely ideological- it provides contrast and outlines the mindset we strive to live in.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269313
    CS
    Participant

    Just to respond to the part about Chabad putting down misnagdim:

    Firstly, as I’ve been told many times, the Frierdiker Rebbe already said that there are no true misnagdim today. If someone puts down an individual or group of people derogatorily, it’s not coming from Chassidus, it’s coming from that person’s yetzer hara.

    That said, we definitely can discuss ideology and the pluses and minuses that result. So, in high school on a Shabbaton one time, I learned a song which displays the difference between amisnagdishe and Chassidishe mindset.

    As said there are no true misnagdim today, and obviously not every individual who doesn’t learn Chassidus ends up this way, but this song is discussing what can happen when one lacks what Chassidus gives. As well, The Chassidus mindset part of the song, is what Chassidus expresses, but it doesn’t mean we’re all holding there.

    This was one occurrence in my entire education. I actually enjoy the song, as it reminds me of what we’re aspiring to.

    There’s also one joke I enjoy- again because it’s about ideology- not anyone in particular.

    But in general within Chabad, the stress is on ahavas Yisrael to every yid no matter who or where they’re holding, and I would hope that is what you would feel coming into contact with a Lubavitcher, whether on shlichus or in general.

    let’s just say my deletions tell a different story

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269150
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ That’s why you have to ALWAYS be negative about the aspect you don’t want your daughter to accept. In decades of dealing with young people I have seen many people go completely off R”L, and many go partly off – some of them relatives, unfortunately – and it is nearly always because of parents/family expressing the “good side” of the person who is not frum.”

    I think this would be the case if you confuse the two together. But if you acknowledge that is true, The woman isn’t dressed properly AND this doesn’t have to be the impression you pick up about her, you’re educating on both.

    And it definitely takes education to see the good in others more than what’s lacking. What education do you do in that respect?

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269146
    CS
    Participant

    Gadolhadofi

    “ It’s only getting worse as the decades pass so until the Rabbinic leadership puts a full halt to it, all the justifications and arguments in the world won’t make it any more palatable.”

    I’m sorry this bothers you, but meshichism can never be shut down, as what the Rabbonim think hashkafically cannot override the clear printed sichos of the Rebbe, and nobody would make himself look so stupid as to say anything in that direction.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269145
    CS
    Participant

    CA

    “ A rebbe is a משפיע not a policeman (I don’t know any rebbe/Rav that’s a “policeman”

    You are lacking a משפיע that can’t guide you in the right direction

    I don’t see how this was different than my previous post that you commented about”

    I was responding to your post which you said that we need a “live” Rebbe to impose standards.

    We have mashpiim who inspire already. And the Rebbe told us the time has come to do the work within, without the constant imposition of The Rebbe, in geula fashion of לא י׳הי׳ה עסק כל העולם כולו אלא לדעת את ה׳ בלבד

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269143
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ “Peilisher chassidim” and their beliefs are something invented by Lubavich, so that Lubavich can say, “We are much better.” I know of no “Peilisher chassidim” who have ever said that the Rebbe is the one who does all the work!”

    Apparently you’re ignorant of the very early disagreement between the Alter Rebbe and his peers on the meaning of צדיק באמונתו יחי׳ה.

    He held that every chossid could do the work applying the tools given by The Rebbe, and they held that you had to keep up your inspiration by regular visits to the Rebbe to sustain it- ie the life comes from the Rebbe in a makkif way.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269142
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ From literally decades of experience with kids and young adults: it works! When a kid sees that the person does something blatantly wrong, e.g. doesn’t dress appropriately, and you stress that the person has so many good middos, the kid more often than not understands that the good deeds are mechaper on the bad, and for a kid to think that is terrible and extremely harmful.”

    You’re quoting what you don’t do. That’s not called experience. In lubavitch we teach how, on the one hand we must always demand from ourselves and look to do better, and on the other hand, to see only the good in other people- highlight the real them as much as possible.

    Yes if you say it’s fine not to dress tznius because you do Chessed, you won’t get good results. But we have an entire growing community who are trained to see ourselves honestly, and see as much as possible only the Neshama aspect of others. And yes, we don’t only see success for ourselves with this approach, but we see success worth bringing others closer as well.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269141
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ No. We frum people do lots of aveiros, at least I do, Rachmono litzlon, but we do not ‘abandon’ even one of them. We are nichshal and hope to be better. If someone, on the other hand, marries a shiksa, he is abandoning a mitzva, not just being nichshal.”

    There are plenty of frum people who aren’t honest in business for example, and don’t look to get better. Or do what they’re used to in regards to shabbos or tznius/ shmiras einayim etc. many people live within their comfort zone. Let’s not kid ourselves.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269139
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ I saw that clip, and as far as I remember it wasn’t about kids whose parents aren’t tzniusdik or who didn’t keep important ikarei hadas. It was about kids who weren’t top in learning and maybe also in behavior. If I’m wrong, please show me where I can see that clip.”

    AFAIK, he said that there was one cheder for everyone in town. And this whole business of only perfect families allowing their kids to have contact was never a thing.

    (One issue is the people who think they’re perfect.)

    Just btw tznius is not an ikkar hadaas. It’s one Mitzvah, like lashon hara and all the others..

    “The Chofetz Chaim demanded Mashiach?! Do you have a source for that?”

    He wrote that the Mitzvah of the worker getting paid on time doesn’t apply if the worker didn’t demand his wages. So we must also demand Moshiach or Hashem isn’t obligated either.

    I’m sure he did what he wrote.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269135
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ That has always bothered me. If ALL the sparks have been elevated, then Mashiach should have come. I know the LR said that it therefore makes absolutely no sense that Mashiach hasn’t come, but to me, and those with whom I have discussed it, that sounds like nonsense at the very least, and apikorsus at the very worst.”

    I find this funny. Where in nigle/ other kreizen do you find Avodas habirurim discussed at length that you repudiate the source it comes from?

    Yes within Lubavitch, a Rebbes means that he is capable of telling us where we are holding now. Obviously, a regular person cannot do this which is one reason why the notion of lubavitch just replacing their Rebbe with a respected mashpia is ridiculous.

    The Rebbe told us that our avoda has completely shifted from Avodas habirurim(which is now finished), to the avoda of welcoming Moshiach. And that every Mitzvah we do should be through the lens of bringing about the revelation of geula. I could explain this further if you desire

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269133
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ They were born Lubavich and have never strayed from it.”

    Ah that makes more sense. You have all kinds of rough characters in all kreizen. Just because someone is a Lubavitcher, doesn’t mean they’re Chassidish (within lubavitch) and doesn’t mean they’re living past their comfort zone. We all have bechira chofshis- lubavitch or not.

    Regarding the Nevuah point, I’ve never heard misa video shomayim or otherwise discussed by anyone in lubavitch- in either direction. I know there’s a whole section in Rambam discussing Nevuah, but I haven’t learned it in depth, nor do I know if that’s the accepted Halacha lmaase. As I’ve never heard it mentioned within lubavitch, I’m going to leave it at that.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269031
    CS
    Participant

    HaLeivi,

    “ CS, I must say, something is very odd. Lubavitch has spoken this talk in earlier years, how Peilischer Chasidim make it all about the Rebbe but in Lubavitch the Chasidim do the work and the Rebbe is just the teacher.

    But now you have the whole Chasidus more Rebbe-centric than anyone else. And you constantly hear about his greatness and status. But if you’re putting him up there—way more than Peilischer Chasidim—how can you also say that his influence is limited?

    Which is it?”

    Great question:). I think it’s unfortunate that Chabad is known for being Rebbe centric- because of how it reflects on other groups. We regard The Rebbe and his word as kodesh kodoshim, and that is both a natural outcome of relating to a Rebbe of our Rebbes caliber, and also a result of the Rebbes tremendous hiskashrus to the Frierdiker Rebbe, and farbrengens about hiskashrus to the FR, both before he undertook the nesius and the year afterwards. But within that same time period, in the opening maamar of The Rebbe, he emphasized that he’s only there to assist us and we need to do our own work.

    I think it used to be quite common that when any Rebbe of any kreiz instructed any chossid, it would be viewed the same way. Unfortunately, it seems in other kreizen , maybe not all, but based on the people I’ve met and interacted with on this, they see the Rebbe as someone to admire, but they can tell he isn’t say, a tzadik of Tanya.

    So for example, when someone asked Rav Lau why he associates with crazy lubavitch, he asked the fellow what he would do if his Rosh Yeshiva asked him to go to a forsaken place to spread Yiddishkeit. The fellow said he would ask about chinuch? Mikvah? Local kosher stores? Etc. Rav Lau responded none and again asked what he would say. The fellow answered he would tell his Rosh Yeshiva to go himself!

    In Chabad, we know that the Rebbe was connected above in a way different than the average. There was clear ruach hakodesh/ mind reading etc on a regular basis. And therefore if he asks me to go on shlichus, or not to go (sometimes harder), that this is my personal mission in this world from Hashem, spoken through the Rebbe.

    So because of the awe this generates, unfortunately we have this name of being Rebbe centric, when really this is exactly how the Rambam describes how one should treat his Rebbe.

    Yet, the Rebbe can give treasures of sichos on how to live in a mindset and lifestyle ready for geula, and how to prepare the world etc. All very clear. But if I don’t take that and implement it, The mission isn’t happening and all the Rebbes efforts are cvs להבל ולריק.

    Of course, The Rebbe set tremendously high goals and standards and not everyone has found their way there yet. But they know that it’s not the Rebbes issue, the Rebbes words are as relevant as ever, but they’re not holding there yet Mitzad their Nefesh habehamis etc.

    Hope this clarifies.

    disclaimer: apologies to those whose kavod to their rav were misrepresented

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269012
    CS
    Participant

    AAQ,
    “ I am not sure are you addressing 3 yo or 18 yo kids, but why do you need to connect these 2 issues together and also address judging every person you meet? If you see someone doing chesed, discuss that act, you don’t need to either approve or discount everything that person did. Hope the kid sees enough positive examples at other times.”

    Agreed. She isn’t doing Chessed because she isn’t tznius- her Chessed is an expression of her Neshama. Ironically, it’s actually the opposite in Yiddishkeit- the bad a Yid does is not the real him, it’s temporary, and gets washed off through teshuva or yissurim etc, but the mitzvos one does are eternal connections to Hashem and have everlasting effect.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2269008
    CS
    Participant

    Avira, coffee addict
    “Cs – i can only imagine what was edited out if you actually wrote that people who are not chasidish “care in general less about yiddishkeit” – if by yiddishkeit you mean cultish messianic hysteria over a deceased rabbi, then you’re right, but that applies to every branch of chasidus besides Lubavitch too.
    If you want to see non-chasidish jews caring about yiddishkeit; where was Lubavitch in the city field event, where klal yisroel came together in all of its stripes to acknowledge and accept on themselves to not use unfiltered internet? Where is Lubavitch in the siyum hashas every 7 years, when klal yisroel celebrates its cherished Torah and their completion of the gemara? Where is Lubavitch kollelim, where idealistic young families sacrifice a life of material success to be davuk in Hashem and His Torah day and night, not just as a means of becoming a missionary in Hawaii?
    Klal yisroel cares about Torah. They do not, however, care about personality cults.”

    Sorry the word Chassidish can mean two things and I see it was confused. Within lubavitch, Chassidish is like what yeshivish is to litvish. I was saying that those within lubavitch who don’t care to strive to be Chassidish will not have passion about many things, this included. That’s what I was referring to. And the only things edited out were the names of two podcasts by lubavitch youth today, with moshiach passion. Not sure why they were edited out- there were no links.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268656
    CS
    Participant

    לא הביט און ביעקב- when? When we do the same for each other

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268655
    CS
    Participant

    In Chabad we learn to focus on ourselves and only see positive in others (unless we need to be mechanech.)

    ברכנו אבינו כולנו כאחד

    When do we receive Hashem’s brachos? Only when we are United with others.

    Why do we (in Chabad) start with hareini? If I don’t Love every single Jew, my davening cannot draw down any brachos, because I’m a broken vessel.

    A yid can find all kinds of reasons why something not good happens to himself, but to excuse others pain? Unacceptable.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268653
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ the way to keep the kid aligned is to say something like, “It’s great that that woman does so much chesed, but unfortunately it’s really terrible that she is not tzniusdik. What a pity. Her chesed would be worth so much more.”

    Why do you think emphasizing the negative is better and produces better results? To me that will result in seeing everyone as less than (while conveniently forgetting that I also have work to do.)

    There are two parts to the person: your approach is to want everyone to see the yetzer hard in them, while we don’t excuse the yetzer hara (it’s true) but choose to pick up the Neshama in the person and be inspired.

    There are many many children who have grown up into wonderful Chassidishe adults with this chinuch. Yes it’sa fine line. Everything in chinuch is a fine line.

    Chabad is far from collapsing. We have only expanded both as Anash and as shluchim, especially post Gimmel Tammuz.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268649
    CS
    Participant

    Avira,

    “ One should not feel that they are frum if they abandon mitzvos, even one of them. You can show love to distant, sinful jews – whether they’re tinknos shenishbu or not – without bringing the mess into klal yisroel.”

    So you keep all the mitzvos perfectly? You never fail at even one of hilchos shabbos? Shmiras einayim? Lashon hara? Etc etc?

    Just yesterday I saw in Rambam that (at least in his time) if someone makes a shvuah inappropriately with Hashem’s name or kinui, he should place him under nidui privately for chillul Hashem, but remove it immediately so as not to cause others to stumble as they don’t know about the nidui. And why not make it public? Because then there are be no community as everyone will be ostracized….

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268648
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ As far as I understood then, the Litvak’s complaint was not that people expressed a yearning for Mashiach. Rather, it was the terminology which seemed (to him and to others) that they were demanding Mashiach. Which is indeed the way the LR encouraged it”

    I suppose this litvak didn’t know the chofetz chaim was the same:)

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268647
    CS
    Participant

    Arso
    The Rebbe shared what was close to his heart and urged them to do so (not sure why printing/ sharing Torah would be against mesora- this phrase is sounding overused), but they were free to do what they wished with it. The Rebbe also demanded of Chassidim, (the Rebbe spoke on tznius too btw), but ultimately it’s a chossid led movement in both deciding who the Rebbe is, and b) having the space to implement what we can of The Rebbes endless heights of expectations, without being excluded from the community.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268641
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ CS, you’re beautiful explanation of the ‘value’ of the shortcomings in Lubavich, doesn’t really hold water.

    Just as a parent’s primary job is to instruct – yes, even dictate – to a child the way to behave, and a rabbi’s job is to instruct his community how to behave, a Rebbe’s job is to instruct and dictate to his chassidim. Allowing each one to move along at their own pace is great, as long as it does not affect others, and a lack of tznius – both in dress and in mixing of the genders – affects everyone in the community.

    Furthermore, you can’t say that your rebbe didn’t attempt to ‘dictate’ to others, as there are numerous accounts of him meeting other rebbes and telling them that they should instruct their chassidim to learn chassidus, and to publish various works of chassidus – something that was against those rebbes’ mesorah.”

    Of course I educate my children, as to what’s right and wrong, but that will not be at the expense of a communal attitude of only allowing perfect children and families in the school, as friends etc.

    I saw Rav Shteinman A”H, say that such an attitude is pure gaava, and he or someone else litvish shared that there was no such thing in the cheders of pre war Europe.

    Of course as a mother I remain vigilant, and if I see a friend of influencing her/ him negatively, instead of him/ her influencing the friends positively, I will need to step in and possibly break down that friendship.

    But as a general rule, we are very clear with standards, and also encourage Ahavas Yisrael.

    The Baal Shem Tov taught that a yid can descend to this world for 70 or 80 years just to do one favor for another yid.

    How many opportunities would we miss on our calling in life with the excluding attitude?

    And where does that end? None of us are 💯 perfect?

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268640
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ I don’t think so. That would imply that all the other gedolei olam were only tznius when they were in company, and that is being motzi shem ra on all of them. I believe Shaul and Kimchis were singled out because they went above the letter of the law.”

    What I’ve learned, and am implying is that a true sense of tznius is am exactly that, a sense of yiras shomayim, and you know it most when it’s kept even in the bathroom, even in the desert, and even when no one is home. Obviously, kimchis dressed 💯 tznius and so did Shaul. Those were outcomes though, not the definition.

    Micha says הצנע לכת עם אלוקיך, not one specific act, but a mode of life of being aware of Hashem’s presence at all times (which will obviously manifest publicly too).

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268639
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ When I am at a Lubavich simcha – as you know I have a number of family members and acquaintances who are Lubavichers – and am sitting at a table where I am the lone non-conformist. A glass or two (or three or four…) of alcohol usually makes the imbiber feel that it is up to him to convert the infidel, and I am harrangued by him, often with the encouragement of some of the others, to show me how my chassidus is wrong, and how Lubavich has the only true path. He has the Nassi Hador, the Navi and the Mashiach, while all I have is a belief in nigleh and a stress on tznius. (Please note, that in most instances the imbiber had very little knowledge of nigleh, and his risque comments show he has no inkling at all of tznius.)

    Now I am not saying it happens all the time, but I am saying that that is the most common situation when it happens. And it does indeed happen.”

    I’m sorry that this has been your experience. Ironic considering your relatives aren’t Chassidish by your descriptions. But I find that the putting down of others attitude comes from the Nefesh habehamis- not from a sincere place. It’s unfortunate when the NFHB dresses up in a kapote.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268636
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ That is one way it happens, although they don’t quote the Rambam. Another is when I pass a tefillin booth or similar, and the Lubavicher manning it apparently wants to make an impression on the people with him, so he calls out to me – an obviously chassidic non-Lubavitch type – and makes a comment ‘demonstrating’ how he and his cohorts are better than us lesser Yidden.

    I have NEVER been the one to start the ‘altercation’.”

    Interesting. Not in my experience, or knowledge of communal affairs. Maybe you’re by one of the 3 or so Meshichist yeshivos in America.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268634
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ That’s not the reaction I get when I get accosted by Lubavichers who try to prove to me that the LR is Mashiach, and I’m not talking about infrequent cases.”

    Unless you live in Israel I find this hard to believe that someone comes up to you and starts off with this. As MS said

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268632
    CS
    Participant

    CA

    “And this is why it’s a shame you don’t have a live rebbe because he’s not around to tell you what to do so your chassidus can’t fix it because he didn’t tell you to

    על אלה אנחנו בוכי׳”

    Ironically this is exactly the point. The Rebbe told us all the sparks have been elevated already, and Moshiach has been appointed and has already started his tasks. By the responsibility for bringing the geula here lies on the nation.

    Basically he cannot complete his task without us. Which is a big chiddush.

    In the times of Moshiach, we ask Hashem daily to return our Judges and advisors. Judges to pasken Halacha and advisors to help you get there personally (mashpia). Note that there is no request for policeman. We will not need policeman when Moshiach comes, because our whole interest will be לדעת את הוי׳.

    The Rebbe taught that Geula is a gradual process that we bring through our avoda in golus.

    Therefore, if you will only do what you should due to external communal pressure/ Halacha policeman etc., you are not ready for geula! Or should I say, you are not living in a geula mind space/ life style.

    And we have been tasked with this mission- to live Yiddishkeit inside out. Appointing a personal Rav and Mashpia and consulting with them because you care.

    Is it easy as a community? No. Is everyone under the name Chabad achieving this? No, not yet. Is this necessary, and the order of the day? 💯

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268629
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ Please don’t put words into my mouth. I didn’t say that Lubavich willingly lowers standards because of baalei teshuva. What I said was that because of the baalei teshuva, and other reasons – namely concern with others, Mashiach, mivtzoim, and not enough with themselves – they overlook the vitally imporatant aspect of upholding tznius.”

    Thanks for clarifying. I remember hearing in one central lubavitch school that people used to just dress Tznius automatically because they knew they would stand in front of the Rebbe, and after Gimmel Tammuz, Tznius plunged as a result. But, there definitely is concern for Tznius in lubavitch today, I had it all the time- they just had to come up with educational material that gels with our hashkofa, there was at least one great curriculum when I was in high school, there are many after school tznius clubs, and bH there are many many tznuos within lubavitch today, although we will not push away those who aren’t, so you see them too.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268628
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ There are only two types of nevi’im. 1. The navi to whom all the laws of a navi apply, including, as yb mentioned, someone being chayav misa bidei Shamayim if he doesn’t obey the navi, and 2. A navi sheker.

    You can’t have “half-a-Navi” which is stronger than ruach hakodesh but not quite the full nevuah.”

    Yes I’m not saying the Rebbe was a half Navi, what I’m saying is, if I proclaim I have Nevuah, and say it was true, you wouldn’t be chayav misa for doubting me- it would need some sort of Rabbinic seal of approval. Which the Rebbe never sought, probably for this very reason- so it would stay motivational and not threat heavy

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268627
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ Yankel berel wasn’t addressing whether there was speculation as to the identity of Mashiach he asked you: Was there no group of people thirsting for geula like you, in the whole 1900 plus years since the Hurban ?

    Note, thirsting for the geula, not speculating as to identity.”

    Of course there was or bar koziva and shabsai tzvi would have never gotten off the ground, especially considering the danger from the Romans and worldwide governments in the time of ST.

    It’s funny how people seem to think it’s wrong to speculate about moshiach because look how the others turned out.

    Fun fact: there’s only one Moshiach and one final Geula- so obviously the others didn’t work out because it wasn’t the time/ person. But we see how Rabbi Akiva put his name on Bar Kochva simply because he was victorious in battle- he obviously was no great tzadik if he was able to say what he did that led to his downfall and the massacre of myriads.

    Similarly, many Rabbonim put their names on ST, and world Jewry waited breathlessly, although he ended up doing aveiros publicly that no regular yarei shomayim would do.

    Taken from that perspective- the bar is actually quite low- and The Rebbe incomparably more qualified, as he led us without any other private life since he took on the nesius, and remained a tzadik until he had to part from us, led and leads a world army of shluchim which is unprecedented as far as I know in our entire history to care for every type of Jew. His Chassidim are involved with the not frum, frum (teaching Chassidus as well as helping with any situation asked, bgashmius uvruchnius), and caring as parents, teachers and mashpiim etc for our own.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268624
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “But you could have just let the thread stay dead.”

    I think this is a misunderstanding. I’m not at all embarrassed of anything The Rebbe said or taught, and my personal views. But, like many Lubavitchers, I’m not looking to start a conversation on the Rebbe as Moshiach because: a) maybe I joined a thread for a different topic and am interested in hearing from others on that one, and most importantly b) there are a number of perquisites I would want a person to have before getting into this topic, which lubavitch itself hardly discusses openly:

    1) keeping Torah and mitzvos and knowing how. 2) having a passion and (also through) education about the time period of Geula in general 3) having a passion for Moshiach as a person- only then would this become relevant.

    Since this is even less common outside lubavitch than within lubavitch (2 and 3), The number of times I’ve discussed it in person with non Lubavitchers I think is 0.

    But if you’re (collectively) starting the conversation, even sarcastically, by all means- we have what to talk about.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268623
    CS
    Participant

    Gadol hadofi,

    “ CS,

    So while you admit that most of chabad believes the Rebbe, zt”l, niftar three decades ago, is mashiach and that they declare this by plastering “yechi” over everything from yarmulkes to billboards, it’s not an obsession. Nothing to see here, let’s all just move on?

    Sorry, nobody’s buying. It’s a dangerous obsession and significantly detracts from much of the good chabad does.”

    It’s not a general obsession because of the lack of education within lubavitch on the topic, and also because even when we do find the education, it’s considered something to keep hush hush. You’re right, naturally it would be outspoken. In that way, we’re lucky we have the meshichists who while not completely balanced to what The Rebbe expected in many cases (at least to my limited observation, and obviously there are exceptions), balance the imbalance that “mainstream” lubavitch has by allowing the hush hush mentality, which is definitely not where we should be at today.

    The Rebbe focused on hafotzas hamaayanos for many decades, but the last year or so we had (where he prepared us for our unique stage today), he said that focus today needs to be welcoming moshiach and to do everything we do, Torah, mitzvos, shlichus etc with that intention. Much of lubavitch unfortunately isn’t plugged in to this today due to factors mentioned.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268622
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “I denigrated the BTs?! I don’t remember doing that! I keep saying that it’s the kids of shluchim, and a number of shluchim themselves, who I am complaining.”

    I’m glad you didn’t mean anything against bts. You’ve written several posts implying that what you see as Chabads problems today, are due to bts, so I wanted to clarify this is really not the case.

    “I have close relatives who run a Chabad house – official shluchim, not mushrooms (yankel berel et al, have you heard that term?) – and who regulary post pictures of what goes on in their institution. Forget the (not-yet-)BTs who are there and are doing what they are doing, although in my humble opinion there’s no need to post pictures of that, I’m talking about the shluchim themselves. Shomu Shamayim! Because of tznius issues I won’t elaborate!”

    Interesting. Why did your relatives become lubavitch? I’m closely acquainted with a family who helps and helped many people learn Chassidus, and become lubavitch (doesn’t need to be both, there are many that just do the former), and all the ones I know keep the highest standards for themselves and bH have beautiful families. They were looking for something more when they came to lubavitch, not less, and we’ve spoken about it in many conversations. So I’m just curious what your relatives story is: did they go off and come back through lubavitch? Or what?

    About your insinuation of shluchim- there are thousands of shluchim, I’d say most uphold the highest standards as befits what they do, some started off as less, and give their communities what they have. One shlucha spoke to us in high school and shared how she always struggled with tznius, and ultimately turned around when her college students on campus respectfully asked why she wasn’t dressed the part of the Rebbetzin she was to them. She got the message and dresses completely tznius today bH. Shluchim were never sent as only the top 10% of lubavitch, many freilach kids who gave their teachers a hard time went on shlichus. Of course you can only give what you have, but I’d say shlichus is a win win in these cases because your on a path that encourages growth, and you’re anyway going to have what to share. When I occasionally do see shluchim who aren’t up to par with standards, I’m happy for them that they still chose shlichus. Imagine where they’d be if they weren’t…

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2268247
    CS
    Participant

    Hi just popping in quickly. Not responding to any message in particular now (I’m towards top of p 9) but for those of you who are curious, I wanted to share two podcasts of Moshiach passing from the Chassidish youth of lubavitch today. They’re not necessarily meshichist (The main implication of the term meshichist is that they wear all the yechi clothing, and also talk about The Rebbe being Moshiach etc with anyone and everyone.)

    edited 

    (The people who aren’t Chassidish care in general less about everything yiddishkeit related (at least in comparison) and won’t likely get excited about this topic either.)

    Enjoy!

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2267876
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “Shaul Hamelech and Kimchis were called tznuim because they went over and above what was required lehalacha.”

    They were called tznuim because they were tznius when only Hashem was around…

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2267872
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ I could handle your posts more if you would come out clearly and say, “They are wrong! I wish they would behave in a more appropriate manner. Furthermore they are giving Lubavich a bad name.” But you can’t say that because everything is so rosey in Lubavich.”

    If you Ask me something specific, I can comment. Of course we have our issues, everyone does. I’ve just been educated that empowering and inspiring is the way forward. For example, a certain well known social media family aren’t the most Chassidish, but instead of seeing themselves as fryacks and veering more and more off course, they see their specific journey as a personal shlichus and imbue all their content with toichen. I admire that mindset. Im here too with the same kind of mindset, although certainly there are those that I know that would never chat on such a forum. I’ve received guidance in the past, and am acting on it. But I’m in giving mode.

    Similarly, there are respected Chabad women on you tube and Chabad.org video, who lecture to mixed audiences as well. I’m sure they’ve spoken to a Rav for their situation, and I admire their light, although I haven’t posted videos publicly etc like them and would prefer not to.

    Yiddishkeit is not a one size fits all. As long as every individual is looking to grow, we’re in a good place. And if they’re not, maybe I’m here to help them too. Etc.

    With my daughter, I agreed that the woman who visited was not dressed up to par, for the sake of clarity, but then taught her how to view the positive. This is how we were taught and how we uplift and are uplifted. That’s how lubavitch can hold any kind of person under its umbrella.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2267866
    CS
    Participant

    Cont’

    This approach also enables us to help others much more because we’re not in the mode of retreating. The maamar of the Alter Rebbe on שחורה אני ונאוה is very illuminating in this regard. Of course we may stay more pristine by cutting ourselves off from the world as much as possible, but so would our Neshama by staying up above. The beauty is the willingness to descend and become blackened to an extent, and in the end, with the right intentions, we end up reaching much farther than we would have, מאיר עיני שניהם ה׳.

    There’s also the horaah from the Halacha regarding salting chickens- they can be placed atop another because they’re all giving out and won’t take in blood. So too with us- if we’re busy trying to influence others positively, we won’t be in danger of being influenced negatively.

    I’ll continue in a part 2.

    Part2:
    Of course there’s bechira chofshis- the Rebbe sent out shluchim with the promise that their children’s chinuch will be on his shoulders. One shlucha wasn’t happy with how her son turned out and wrote an angry letter to the Rebbe. The response was that the Rebbe never asked her to put such magazines in her bathrooms…

    (But yes generally, shluchim do have a special brocha with their children.)

    So in summary: our approach takes exposure as a matter of course (more limited when children but when necessary for hafatza etc…) but in the way of being mashpia, and also enables everyone to be honest with themselves and to connect to their role models openly.

    Other paths that segregate seem to have the advantage of less exposure =less challenges = better results.

    Ultimately, the only time we saw a fair comparison was by Soviet Russia, where lubavitch, although affected, “won” by far (unfortunately.)

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2267865
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ …except in internet access for youth, the things bochurim talk about, tznius and the mixing of the genders. (You won’t convince me otherwise because I witness it firsthand numerous times each week. And I’m talking about sons of shluchim, not just BTs.)

    Btw even with all your explaining of the how engaged couples act etc, it’s still well below the tznius level of other chatzeiros. Actually, that makes it sound just something not as “hiddur mitzvah” as us. I had better clarify. It’s called nevalah in other chatzeiros.”

    It seems that by explaining the Lubavitch model, this, and perhaps other posts, will be answered.

    Since the time of the Alter Rebbe, Chabad has been organized from the bottom up (if you know about tzadik beemunaso yichye vs. yechaye), as opposed to the other Chassidic courts.

    Every individual and family is strongly encouraged to have a personal Rav and mashpia. Even the Rebbe is more of a helper figure than a community dictator.

    Also, lubavitch isn’t into pressuring everyone to look and act the same. We recognize that people are born into different situations, and cannot necessarily be compared. The focus is that one moves upward.

    For example: if a person became frum and works tremendously on himself, he cannot be compared to someone who also works tremendously on himself but was born and raised frum. So if the former doesn’t have the most aidel language at times, we don’t have to emphasize that aspect. And the children of this person can and should upgrade accordingly.

    And let’s not kid ourselves- not every ffb home raises its children in the proper way in every area, and ultimately, we all have where to grow, and it’s our responsibility to tackle it with the same strength we expect those beneath us spiritually to…

    My daughter recently pointed out someone that wasn’t dressed up to par. I told her that she’s right, but does she know this woman is a tremendous baalas Chessed? Why be a garbage collector?

    TBC…

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2267652
    CS
    Participant

    Arso,

    “ Another anecdotal proof that shows that Lubavichers are far better than others! Well done! (And don’t worry about the fact that even if the story is true it’s the exception to the rule. Who cares? As long as we can continue claiming that the tznius in Crown Heights is of the highest standard.)”

    Context please! This was in response to your claim that Chabad willingly lowers standards because of baalei teshuva. I brought this to show we aren’t afraid to uphold the highest standards, even in comparison to others, where deemed appropriate. I don’t know about you but when I lived in and visit Crown heights I see plenty of women and girls dressed fully tznius, and promoting initiatives to promote tznius. Yea there are people who don’t, but it’s definitely not bshita

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2267650
    CS
    Participant

    Arso

    “CS, now that you’re back posting I was wondering whether you are going to address the above.”

    When I post, I reply in order so I hopefully don’t miss any posts directed at me. Currently towards the bottom of page 8.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2267648
    CS
    Participant

    Yb,

    “ To the best of my limited knowledge, there is no need for a Sanhedrin or any other big body of rabbis to pasken that
    1] going against a navi is mitah biyedei shamayim.
    2] that this person is a navi if he indeed is a navi.

    So , habads claim that their leader is a navi.
    No , have to correct myself here – habads leaders claim that habads leader is a navi , does not need sanhedrin nor any other body to pasken it is so.

    If it is true , and it obviously is, according to habad, the obligation to listen takes effect immediately.
    On all of us.
    Immediately.

    So the question is now,
    Are [new]habad imposing their navi on all the rest of us ????”

    Like I said I never saw the navi thing used in this way. More like the Rebbe is saying it as Nevuah/ stronger than regular ruach hakodesh- so it’s really real and happening.

    I do think the punishment aspect of navi which you are bringing up would only apply if the Rebbe was certified/ pronounced as a navi by others- whether in Beis din or whatever the protocol is. I am admittedly ignorant in the exact Halachos defining this. The idea of navi with regards to the Rebbe I have only seen working in a positive sense.

    in reply to: Clarification to mod and DaMoshe #2267647
    CS
    Participant

    Yb,

    “ But deep down, on the inside, are they not obsessed?
    Think about it. This not just some argument about whose rebbi is bigger compared to someone else’s.
    This is literally earth-shattering news.

    M started the ge’oula.
    We are on a cosmic intersection.
    If you really believe it, it would be extremely hard NOT to be obsessed.
    That’s only natural.”

    Interesting you view it this way. For me, and watching a student as well, when we learn the sichos that clearly point out the Rebbe as Moshiach through obvious hints, it’s kind of like a quiet, “Oh really? Yah I guess that makes sense. The Rebbe is nossi hador and nossi hador is Moshiach shebador. Right cool…”

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