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MDG, your probably right
Yoyo, I think you have to explain a bit more exactly what’s bothering you. It seems you’re a little confused. Also, as a general rule with anything, if 1) you’ve looked into an issue seriously (with your Rebbi/Morah), and 2) you have been genuinely 100% honest with yourself, and 3) you truly don’t believe there be an issue, then I think you can go ahead with whatever it is. However, I don’t think you can go through those steps regarding the prob of guys/girls and come out that there’s no negative effects. But tell me if you disagree
Mods, don’t you realize we’re actually trying to have mature discussion about this?
did they get rid of your other thread about this completely?!
They brought in Eitan and Shlomo Katz who are a great example of achdus right there. Two brothers who have very different derachim in life but have so much respect for each other. Anyhow, they led davening in 4 different shuls over shabbos; on fri night, the ones they weren’t at didn’t have minyan so that everyone would go be together; an oneg they were at where many rabbanim of the shuls gave divrei torah and chizuk about achdus; and there were also shiurim from certain two Rabbanim which many people came to also; to top it all off as a bounus, there was talk/shiur from Rav Yona Metzger chief rabbi of E”Y at shalosh seudos attended by hundreds; it was truly incredible. Then to keep it all going, there was an initiative to make a siyum on Nach and Seder Moed collectively by members of all the shuls which just happened last week
Im sorry I can’t really help you with that; I just have a sense from my limited life experience that an Aishes Chayil is so much more important than most teens think-both guys and girls themselves
i want to help you out with this, but I’m going to keep my posts on this subject from now on in your other thread
yoyo, im a little confused by you because you just started a new thread asking whats wrong with tlking to the opp gen??? Also, for all the ppl telling her that its just a phase and she’ll forget abt it when she gets married iyh, unless you are at shidduch age, thats not even possible. You can’t ask a teen to do something in their life now bc they’ll be married in 4-8 years. If you’re still a teen its a lot more complicated and a challenge to deal with these guy-girl issues
idk but its def good to see that you see the importance in this and i think that already puts you in a strong position (unless ur posting this bc you don’t know why it’s important)
Come to west rodgers and you can visit me too 🙂 Also, Chicago’s awesome in that most people get along even with other Jews not the same exact hashkafa-we even had an achdus shabbos on touhy!
yoyo and cutiepie, if you’re going to start talking about the store and neighborhood, i think you should do it between you two through email letoeles; if you post that on here it can easily be lashon hara and worse
The rav of aish kodesh is rav moshe weinberger and personally i think he’s incredible
yoyo, i think you actually have a real handle on it now. I see a lot more after that last post of yours, and you’re being very honest with yourself which i respect a lot. I think you know very much what might be wrong and how to deal with so yasher koach and good luck with Hashem’s help
If this guy isnt married and hes that young its def an issue. I dont think hes necessarily a bad guy, its just unfortunately guys like him are wired to be attracted to you. If he gets a simple reject from you, his brain will kick in and tell him hes a moron to keep on doing this. I’m sorry to put it so bluntly, but thats the way it works.
Miriam: Granted, it will be akward, but by nature its an awkward situation. It will be awkward for him too and he’ll get the message. However yoyo, if it does make you excessively uncomfortable, then have someone else talk to him. But he’ll have a lot more respect for your position if you say it to him directly. Otherwise he could be like “so i see you need to get your rabbi involved in my buisness” or smthng like that
1) how old is this guy 2)unless he says things which are explicit in their words that theres something wrong, i think its best to be dan lechaf zechus and not lechaf chov 3)if you really do feel smthng is wrong, i still think you should go up to him and tlk to him about it- i also think whether youre willing to is a measure of whether something is wrong. If youre willing to have that conv which will be akward it means you really believe something needs to change; if not, i think it means smthng is a little off but its worth you going through that
yoyo… first, how old is this guy? also, im thinking two things right now 1) i’m not sure bc i don’t know exactly what goes on, but i think that some of whats happening is you’re being very self-concious and believe that everything that happens is only bc ur there or just to you and ur also taking things and spinning them negatively. I’m not saying ur totally off, there probably is something wrong with the situatio if you feel this way, but try to broaden ur mind and next time think about the other reasons this person might have said what he said(esp. hi and bye is just basic manners) and 2)either way, if you feel this way i think the best way to approach it, and i know its also the hardest, is to just be straight up honest and say “i don’t mean to be disrespectful at all, but this is where i am in life, i feel like abc, and id appreciate if you would do abc accordingly”
also just a tip: go up to the person and ask if u can tlk to them at blank time in blank place without telling them what your talking about; they’ll say sure and then when your in the room with them youll have no choice but to open up and speak. I know this sounds strange and psychological, but I also know how hard it can be to open up to someone so maybe this could help
hey rikki i think im probably about as old as you and i also just went through a rly hard time in my life. It wasnt a situation like yours so i dont know exactly what youre going through but from my heart to you, for your own good, please do talk to someone older you can trust to talk to. Unfortunately, I know a lot of us high schoolers havent developed that kind of relationship with someone like that; if so, try to find the number a person who has a strong reputation for handling things like this and call them anonymously(tlking anonymously also has its benefits like maynish said).