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Can anyone explain to me why a 6th grader needs a cell phone? Nothing to do with frumkeit or anything, but why would he need one? I made it till my engagement without a cell & don’t think my childhood was affected by not having one…..
This is one of the best posts. R’ Shlomo was one of a kind. His niggunim are sung in every Shul. They are so different from today’s “Jewish music.”
Here are some places in Lakewood:
Stoliner Bais Medrash always has a very nice bonfire. East 8th between Princeton & the tracks.
The Breslover Bais Medrash next door to Satmar – Forest & 4th – has a bonfire.
The Minyan Shelonu is making this year’s bonfire by the Oak Street Public School.
oomis1105 – you write – If the boy and girl spent real time (quantity as well as quality) with each other on a VERY frequent basis, it would be obvious.
I’m just curious. You seem to have a problem with our Yeshiva-style dating. Do you think that the more modern orthodox style of dating is better? Are their marriages better?
Bottom line, everyone is ducking the question. If you are already engaged – you aren’t breaking a shidduch over smoking. So don’t easily dismiss a shidduch just bcause the guy smokes…
And, no, I don’t smoke!
ames – maybe it never came up. It’s possible. I never said it’s a normal case. Just a “what if” kind of of situation.
kapusta – you are right, it is better to use your own refs. But, let’s say you don’t know anyone who knows him. And the “spy” you sent to check him out, maybe he never saw him smoking. What are you gonna do – hire a private detective to follow him 24/6?
postsemgirl – people lie. You can ask, but people don’t always say the truth. So you may not find out if a bochur really smokes.
By the way, chances are between all the relatives you listed – some may have actually smoked…… although they may tell you they never did. Don’t be so sure….
gavra_at_work – it is still your choice. You can still break the shidduch. Unless you don’t really think it’s so bad…..
areivimzehlazeh – I didn’t say it’s not the end of the world. I just am pointing out that although it’s harmful, you aren’t breaking a shidduch over it. So, obviously it’s not as terrible as everyone is making it……
Just curious…. Everyone here seems to be against smoking. We all agree that it’s unhealthy & smells bad, etc. Now, here’s the question: Your daughter gets engaged to a great boy from a great family. Everything is wonderful. The day after the vort you find out that the boy is a smoker. You did your research before, but never found this out. Now, do you break the shidduch over this???
BasYisroel2 – most wives who have a nose will ususally be able to smell smoke on their husbands. And most yungerleit whose wives want them to quit will be harrased to really stay off smokes. At the end of the day, I have seen even the heaviest smokers as Bochurim quit after their weddings.
Bottom line is that most Bochurim quit smoking either when they get enagaged or married. Don’t have the exact percentage, but I would say that probably close to 75% of yungerleit don’t smoke. If their wives insist they stop after their wedding, most yungerleit will quit then.
proud tatty – you missed my point. I wasn’t talking about the boys that go at 18. That’s fine. The problem is in the more Yeshivishe Yeshivos – where the boys stay in the US till 21 & the go go to E”Y for at least 2 years.
tzippi – most boys in the Chassidishe velt get married at about 18-19, so asking a Litvishe boy to get married at 22 isn’t terrible. Also, if you look back about 20-25 years ago, all bochurim got married at 21-22. This is a new fad that the boys are waiting till 22-23 to start dating. And it has to stop…..
The biggest problem in the shidduch situation that we have is that the boys come back too old from Eretz Yisroel. Something must changed!! I firmly feel that if the Bochurim would go to E”Y younger & return home younger & start dating when they are younger – you will add HUNDREDS of new boys onto the “market” every z’man. Whoever can help to fix the current system will be be doing a great chessed & will be able to help many, many Bnos Yisroel.