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Hashem will never give you a nisayon that he does not think you can pass.
UJM, Your comparisons are not valid. A Reform or Conservative clergyman (I hate to use the word “Rabbi) does not believe that the Torah was given by Hashem and was man made. That is not even Judaism but total Apikorsos.
We all know what the Torah says on the issue confronting this young lady. It is a clear and indisputable Halacha.
The issue is how to explain it to this young girl in a way that she will accept it. Both, the Chabad Rebitzen and the older more experienced one are going to be delivering the same message. The question is are you going to do it like Hillel or like Shamai. Will a “frask in punim” and calling her a shiktza be more effective in convincing her to comply or a non judgemental friendly explanation with a smile on your face accomplish the same goal? I argue that a heavy handed approach might drive her off the derech entirely but a more gentle approach will save a Jewish neshama. Nobody is looking for a lenient psak which is out of the question.Keith is correct. The reason that I suggested a Chabad Rebitzen is that they deal with such problems on a daily basis, especially those who serve on college campuses. In such a case they do not try to indoctrinate with Chabad theology. They just want to help a fellow Jew who is struggling. An the reason I suggested a younger one is that this young lady would be more willing to trust somebody who is closer to her own age rather than an older one who in her mind might not understand her feelings. The mere fact that this young lady has chosen to go on social media with her problem to complete strangers rather than parents or members of her own community underlies the gravity of the situation. She obviously does not trust them and is crying out for help. She is looking to do the right thing Torah wise and not go off the derech. It is incumbent upon us as fellow yiden to help her. I live in Florida and can suggest several Rebitzens that she could talk to.
Unfortunately, many of the morahs in Bais Yaakov are not comfortable or lack the maturity to openly discuss such sensitive topics with their students. They feel it is the job of the parents to inculcate the proper Torah values to their children at home, before they ever get to school. I don’t know how close you are with your parents or whether you are comfortable discussing this problem with them. I would suggest reaching out to a younger Chabad Rebetzin. They usually deal with these situations on a regular basis without being judgemental. Even if one is not located near you you can arrange a teleconference via computer and it is free of charge. They are glad to be of help.
ujm:
Whether or not the Lubavitcher Rebbe was a Godol or not is besides the point. The fact that because of him, more Yiden are doing Teshuvah today than ever before, world wide is the important thing. Those of us who live in Brooklyn, Monsey, & Lakewood may not realize this because we live relatively insulated lives. But since I made the move to Boca Raton in Florida 8 years ago I am amazed by what I see here in Chabad. And the dedication & mesiras nefesh of these Baalei Teshuvah is truly genuine.According to them, the second coming of yoizel can not take place until all the Jews are converted to their religion. Rabbi Tovia Singer has many videos up on YouTube where he debunks everyone of their arguments using psukim from the Torah.
People forget that the same Ribono Shel Olam who gave us the mitzvos beyn Adam La Makom also gave us the mitzvos beyn Adam La Chavero. But somehow a heter is always found to be lenient with the latter, especially when Mosdos are involved.
Another reason behind Rav Moshe’s thinking is that since Brooklyn is the place with the highest frum Jewish concentration, he did not want generations of people growing up within an Eruv where it is usual to carry on Shabbos. He rather preferred that the majority of Jewish children recognize that Shabbos is different by NOT carrying on that day. He did not want the Halacha to be forgotten.
AviraDeArah A Bochur who is a Ben Torah must realize that the mitzvah of getting married and having children is a mitzvah just like learning Torah, wearing Tzitzis, and putting on Tefillin every day. The chiyuv is on him, not on his parents or his Rosh Yeshiva. Without a wife he can not fulfill this mitzvah. If asking a young woman for a date is what it takes as a step towards fulfilling this mitzvah he has to force himself to do it. Some mitzvahs are harder to fulfill than others.
I am 80 years old. Back in my day most Orthodox singles met on their own without the benefit of a Shadchan, myself included. Yes, it was proper to ask a girl out on her own. There was no shidduch crisis. Things were simple. I could not survive under today’s system.
UJM The Hyatt, Sheraton, and Marriott do not advertise themselves as Glatt Kosher resorts to the Orthodox community as the Catskill resorts that I mentioned did. My main point is that what was acceptable to the mainstream Orthodox community back in the 1960s and 70s is no longer acceptable today. Everything has moved dramatically to the right.
Hotels in the Catskills which years ago had reliable hashgochos would not qualify today to get one. I am not talking about goiyesha places like Grossinger’s or The Concord. I am talking about places like Gartenberg & Schechter’s Pioneer Country Club or Leibowit’s Pine View Hotel which was frequented by the frum oilem including many choshuv Rabbonim. They had mixed swimming and presented female vocalists at their shows.
Schulgasser Brothers out of Passaic, NJ services the entire NYC Metropolitan area. They are Shomer Shabbos and extremely honest. They moved me from Monsey to Boca Raton, Florida 8 years ago. Got my furniture down to Florida in 26 hours. Same truck and crew that loaded me up in Monsey unloaded me in Florida. Nothing broken or damaged. The price that I paid was exactly as quoted. No hidden extras. Three brothers own the company, Moshe, Boruch, and Yaakov. One of them is always on the job. They are very fine people with good midos and do a quality job. 973-458-9658.
Included in Tanach is Sefer Tehillim which many of us recite on a regular basis. Indeed a great proportion of our davening is comprised of kapitalech Tehillim. Is it not important for us to know and understand perush hamilos and the meaning of our prayers? I feel that for that reason alone it is important that it be taught. If we want Hashem to answer our prayers, at minimum we ourselves should understand what we are asking him for.
When we were in Yeshiva elementary school we learned Yehoshua, Shoftim, Shmuel Aleph, Shmuel Bais, Malochim Aleph & Malochim Bais & Megilas Esther. After that it was nothing but pure Gemara all the time. As a result I really have no sense of Jewish history at all.
Boruch Hashem. My wife and myself who are now 80 years old listened to Fauci’s sage advice. We took all 4 vaccine shots and completely isolated for 3 whole years. We only went out (always masked) for doctors appointments. We had somebody do all our shopping for us. We only permitted fully vaccinated visitors (4 shots) into our house. Come this Fall we will “Im Yirtzeh Hashem” take the 5th shot against the 2 Omicron variants and 2 weeks after that we will go out for the first time. Thank G-d we never got Covid. We take the posuk “V’Nishmartem L’Nafshoseichem” very seriously. We personally know at least 20 people that were niftar from this dreaded plague and are glad that we were not among them. Fauci saved many lives and those who mocked him will have to answer to the Bais Din Shel Mailah after 120.
Kahal Yetev Lev D’Gatlinburg
Seriously. I believe that the Sheraton in Gatlinburg is owned by a shomer shabbos yid and pre-covid they used to run a Pesach program every year with some of the more wealthy Jews of Atlanta. NCSY used to run a program there (not on Pesach) every year and I believe that there is a Sefer Torah on premises. Call up the OU and ask for the contact.
I just took the 4th shot last week because medical science says that I have less of a chance of dying from Covid if I take it. Being close to 80 years old I am at risk. Nowhere in halacha does it say that taking the vaccine makes me a less frum yid than someone who refuses to take it. In fact, Rav Chaim Zatzal when asked, paskened that it is a chiyuv and not a reshus to get vaccinated and it is on video for all to see. I do not know of any anti-vaxer who is more frum than the Gadol Hador was.
In the ideal world the most qualified individual should be the nominee. But this is the “real” world where everything is done according to politics. Biden promised Rep. Clyburn of South Carolina (who is black) that he would nominate a black woman to the Supreme Court as a payback for Clyburn having gotten him enough votes to win the presidential primary in South Carolina. Clyburn is now trying to take it a step further by asking Biden to nominate a specific black woman from South Carolina.
My experiences were way back in the 1950s and 60s. Never having been blessed with children I never had any reason to involve myself in choosing Yeshivos. So I would not be the proper one to advise you. Many of the Yeshivos that existed in my time have either fallen by the wayside or evolved completely to the right. You need a much younger person to advise you who is familiar with the current scene.
Many of you here on this forum are probably younger than me. I am 79 and attended yeshiva through high school in Borough Park. The Yeshiva that I went to was considered very frum by 1950 standards. In fact many Roshei Yeshivos in Lakewood & Brooklyn who are my age were my classmates. Limudei Kodesh was from 9 to 1. Mincha and lunch followed. Secular studies were from 2 to 6. There was no night seder except for Mishmor on Thursday night for 2 hours. We were well prepared for all Regents exams and yes, college as well. Those who became some of our gedolim today went on to full time Bais Medrash. I went to Brooklyn College for 4 years, a local college where I could live at home in a frum environment. From there I went into business while I went to a part time yeshiva half a day for 7 years to avoid being drafted to Viet Nam. One I was old enough for my draft classification to change I was able to devote full time to my business and get married. i did not have the proverbial rich father in law to put me through kollel for 10 years. By today’s standards I would probably be considered an apikores or worse. But that is how it was in the past.