TakeaDeepBreath

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  • in reply to: The Good Wifeís Guide #1108365

    Or perhaps we should just entitle this “How to be a good spouse” and list one, and only one, idea: Be Thoughtful. Seriously, everything here seems to fall under that, and I also don’t understand why only the wife is being told this. Also, a good wife always knows her place?!? That is *not* an idea from the Torah, unless you mean her place as an equal partner in the marriage. The way it’s presented, though, makes it sound like the OP means to take several large steps back in history to when women were treated (at least legally, if not individually) as mindless chattel in need of any male to tell them what to do, regardless of that males ability (starts to hum “I am sixteen” from the sound of music).

    in reply to: Tznius Crisis in Cars #777504

    To answer the OP’s plea for actual practical advice: if I’m wearing a skirt I’m concerned about (as some are ok if you sit slowly and smooth them but ride up if you don’t pay attention, or are straight, or cut oddly), or I’ll be doing something that might affect skirt coverage (re: roller coaster) I’ll make sure to either pack a shawl or scarf I can drape over my legs, or wear a sweater that I can take off and do the same with.

    in reply to: Would You Date a Guy Who Drives a Mustang? #776864

    Sorry, what an utterly stupid question. Unless you truly believe that a person’s choice of car represents something deep about their character and middos, I cannot possibly imagine basing the decision to date someone on their car.

    in reply to: College – Appropriate or not? #689749

    An important and perhaps not as addressed issue is this: How will it affect the girls they will one day marry? Husband’s actually have an obligation to support their wives and families; if you find a girl that’s willing to support that’s wonderful, but unfortunately many girls are made to feel awful f they do not choose a Kollel lifestyle. When I was in seminary my class and a teacher had a volatile argument about this: The teacher seemed to be of the opinion that anyone not in Kollel was inferior. While I agree that learning in Kollel is a great and admirable (and I guess you could say ‘superior’ choice), that does not make people *not* in Kollel inferior! And yet the when I argued, metaphorically, that although a plumber (“working boy”) may not be as prestigious as a lawyer (“learner”) both are still very necessary, the teacher actually said: “Ah, but you don’t respect the plumber!” Wrong. His job, perhaps not. Him as a person? Well, I should think that depends on the person!! Let us not forget that a husband’s obligation in supporting his family is stipulated in the Kesuba, that many Gedolim of years past worked to support, and that is so important not to browbeat or use the Shidduch specter to terrify people into a lifestyle they are not cut out for. It’s not a mitzvah to be Kollel and miserable. It is to follow the Torah and be happy. Let’s do the math, hmmm?

    in reply to: Breach in Tznius: Recent affliction attacking Klal Yisroel #1025642

    As opposed to “protesting”, why not try to take action? Otherwise, all that’s being accomplished is an adult whine-fest. Some stores have very respectful and sensitive signs advising people on appropriate skirt length with an attached ruler. That’s a great step in combating this problem, as is Gila Manolson’s book Outside/Inside. Another great step would be to educate young ladies as to the reasons behind tznius and respecting oneself, instead of showing books like Oz V’Hadar L’vusha to them (a great book, but not the first step for someone for whom covering their knees would be progress!), or yelling at them, which is really counterproductive, because no one respects someone who yells at them; and if they don’t respect you, they’re NOT LISTENING.

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