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One idea might be: Aish HaTorah has a partner-yeshiva Ohr Somayach. Ohr Somayach officially has a branch called “Tanenbaum College”, which can also give college credit.
Perhaps this would make it easier to obtain a student loan from the US!
Another idea might be making Aliyah if the ‘Minhal HaStudentim’ also pays for Yeshiva tuition like they pay for universities.
The easiest way might be, if a government-subsidised student loan could also be used for Aish
thanks
Thank you for your post!
You are right, most people don’t know what it’s like to be in that situation and don’t undestand everything.
I wish you much success in all your endeavors.
I really appreciate how much you care that your sons go to shul. Maybe there is someone in the synagogue that you trust who can sit in shul next to the boys and explain to them the tfila, and later also teach them how to lay tfillin, ect.
Much Blessings
I just wanted to emphasize: it may well be that what she actually also meant to convey to you is that SHE DOES WANT to reach common ground with you!
Shalom RebbeDovid,
there is nothing wrong with you.
It may be that she does not feel so comfortable being close or being known or scrutinized by this Rav. There may be reasons that are in truth baseless. It also happens that a certain person (including a Rav) may seem to act in a way that seems to convey that he doesn’t like or accept us, when in truth his behavior (or what we perceive as his behavior) has nothing to do with us. But we might suspect, that since a person doesn’t look friendly he doesn’t like us. But there can be other explanations, for example the person having a bad day, thinking about something that upsets him personally without him even taking notice of us! 🙂
So, there can be wrong interpretations and misunderstandings.
It may be that there is a reason why she is not 100% comfortable with him for reasons that we don’t know.
The bottom line is, there is a big potential here for baseless hatred. We can’t know what is really happening, but it may well be baseless, or based on a misunderstanding, or even a misjudgement on her part.
Maybe there is some distrust on her part, but again, there is definitely potential for big misunderstandings here.
I would say the following: When she said that it is ok with her that you continue to stay in contact with him and also consult with him, that seems reasonable and flexible and like a willingness to find a solution on her part. THIS IS HOW WOMAN SPEAK 🙂
I think she was saying that she does agree with you having him as a Rav, only that she wants matters that also deal with her not be brought to him.
I think the following: Opinions can change! Also her confidence can increase.
Misunderstandings will eventually be resolved.
You should check if she is a decent person (and I mean, with all due respect, beyond an outward appearance). Also chemistry does not have to mean everything. You should definitely check her as a person and what her motivations as a person are.
If you are convinced of her integrity, I think you should not worry.
Also ask your mother what she thinks.
Marry a woman with a good heart (and I mean a woman with a good heart)
I have an older refrigerator and I permanently removed the lightbulbs (meaning also during the week). I got used to it 🙂
CIboy, you’re a good guy and your opinion is important and appreciated.
There is a good article called “Scared to Make Friends” by Lauren Roth on Aish. I recommend reading it.
I wish you that you should have confidence in yourself and in your abilities (which are your unique abilities since there is no person like you on earth, and therefore no person with your specific mission and specific possibilities to fulfill that mission)
I recommend also praying to Hashem to ask him for help and to use your improved abilities LeShem Tikkun Olam
Simi has to do with Simcha! I wish him a lot of Simcha and Blessings
Hi again,
I wanted to add:
Each person that you meet in the future is a new person. There does not have to be any connection or likeness/similarity to the bad people you unfortunately got to know.
You should definitely avoid people who treat you badly.
Look for people who have self-respect and who have a spine and are idealistic.
Shalom C.I. Boy,
you sound like a really nice person (and not dumb at all)
Also congratulation on your cochlear implants! It must be wonderful to be able to hear! That’s really great news.
I’m very sorry to read about what you have endured. Again, you sound like you are a nice guy and you deserve to be treated with respect and fairness.
I saw an article that I found interesting on aish.com called “Scared to Make Friends”
Edited to remove link but leave info
I think you could see what you enjoy doing and then see if there are people with whom you can connect naturally. It doesn’t have to be deep friendships at first.
But I do think that you should look for quality people who have self-respect (not for some jerk (jerks don’t respect themselves))
I don’t know everything, but what I could imagine is that part of the test from Hashem (we are all tested by Hashem one way or the other) is actually for other people, how they treat you!
I think concerning your parents, parents are often worried about their children. It doesn’t mean that they are right in what they think or assume. They probably mean well. Concerning friends who are younger, I think what you could say is that when people get older those age differences diminish, if not disappear. Who knows what will happen in only 5 years, when you will be 25 and those friends 22 (or 23). That is not that large an age difference!
In general there are friendships that last a long time and there is actually no reason why you should not be friends with those guys, as long as you feel good.
Try to have a good relationship with your parents. Treat them well and with respect and thank them from time to time. I think this is important.
Concerning the test, I think there is another test, and that is how you deal with hurt,past and present. Actually, this is a test for everyone. When people hurt us we have many ways to react to this. The worst way to deal with it is to take it out on innocents (this is maybe what this guy who treated you badly went through). This is the worst reaction, and it’s completely unlogical and it doesn’t solve anything and in truth only pulls one down.
I think the task and the great chance that you have is to be a giving, honest, decent, moral person who doesn’t conduct his life according to the bad examples that he has seen but according to the morality of Hashem and who chooses(!) to live by morality and kindness to his fellow man.
This would be the greatest thing and the greatest achievement ever (and I’m serious)
Take the bad things that have happened to you and try to understand others better who may have been hurt. I’m sure you could provide a lot of Chesed to other people, especially random people.
Hashem surely loves you, that is for sure. I don’t know if my interpretation was correct. But what I’m sure of is that Hashem wants you to live a life of decency and kindness to others.
This was also one of the greats strengths of Abraham, kindness
Read books about this, maybe of the Chafetz Chaim. Also read Pirkei Avot.
Never forget that each Jew is tremendously important and that you as a person have incredible value!
Also, pray to Hashem for having true friends who like you and who will influence you in a good way in your way (be it in school, academically and Limudei Kodesh, profession,work, privately, in your family, spiritually,morally). Also, read more about the Shmona Esre and its background.
Hashem surely listens. Try also to understand what Hashem wants from you.
All the best, May Hashem bless you!
Zeev