We write to you at Yeshiva World with the fervent hope that you post our letter for your vast readership. If by publicizing our quest, even one Shidduch will come about, you will have succeeded in playing an integral part in building yet another Bais Ne’eman B’Yisroel. Thank you.
The phone rings, someone wanting to redd a shidduch for our daughter, a warm, vibrant and intelligent bas Yisroel. Responding politely, and with thanks to the caller for thinking of us, we say either that she is busy or sometimes take details and promise to do investigations and get back with an answer. “Not suitable”, “not quite what we were looking for”, are some of the excuses we give when calling back well meaning relatives / friends or colleagues.
No, we are not being picky. No, we are not being unrealistic. Unfortunately we are unable to pursue “regular” Shidduchim prospects as we did for our other children. We are conducting her Shidduchim as we have been directed by Daas Torah.
And we are not alone.
There are many for whom Shidduchim take on a very different angle than the norm. Men and women for whom the already difficult Parsha of Shidduchim becomes a grueling challenge. Someone who has suffered a serious childhood illness, cancer survivor, undergone a transplant, has a genetic disorder, knows of a potential fertility issue or perhaps someone living with a non life-threatening disease.
Like our daughter they are often dynamic and capable young people, living full, productive lives, challenged by the same Shidduch crisis as everyone else – however are unable to go the usual route. They need special partners who are compatible with their special situations. They need Shadchanim who are focused on their unique needs of compatibility. Making the right connections and ‘getting the right exposure, without being exposed’. It goes without saying that absolute professionalism, understanding and confidentiality are a must.
There are groups and organizations such as Chai Lifeline/Sos Tosis, A TIME, Bonei Olam and Ezra L’Marpeh, amongst others that are involved at different levels in specialized shidduchim. Over time, we have encountered some of the most dedicated and amazing Shadchanim and individuals. All giving of their time and energy while their families patiently wait. It is a privilege to work with them and we wish to express our deep appreciation for their continued support, enthusiasm and tireless efforts.
The key is to make contact with these organizations and let them know about your situation or that of your loved one. In this way the network is broadened. Please, we appeal of anyone who has such a ‘special’ Shidduch need, or knows of someone who does, or can assist with any positive input to please make contact. Mrs. Bruchi Langsam at 718-851-5393 has specialized in such cases for many years. Dealing with many different situations including mature, divorced or medical, genetic, male and female fertility situations, she will gladly accept anonymous calls.
An alternative is to email to [email protected]. Absolute confidentiality is assured.
We offer our sincerest thanks to Yeshiva World for this forum. “Kol Yisroel Areivim Zeh La’Zeh” – it is our fervent wish that anyone reading this appeal who has any suggestions will respond, and in this way we can help not only our daughter, but many others find their ‘shidduch hagun”.
Please don’t forget us in your tefillos.
“See you at the Chuppa soon IY’H”