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Dating etiquettes for Jewish singles


For a Jewish single, finding a soulmate is considered to be an important part of life. Unlike other cultures where dating is taken lightly,for the Jews it is a serious matter involving choosing a future partner and honouring Jewish tradition as a whole.

That said, for orthodox Jews especially, dating is not supposed to be just a pastime but a base of human companionship and the cornerstone of Jewish survival.

For this reason, orthodox Jews follow a strict set of dating rules, solely aimed to build a foundation for a stable, loving and long-lasting marriage.

Role of matchmakers and matchmaking sites in Jewish dating

While orthodox Jews prefer meeting their potential partner through matchmakers called shadchans,it has now become common for some Jewish people to resort to Jewish dating sites to find a partner without the help of a matchmaker.

These are faith-based dating websites crafted to strengthen the community as a whole and ensure that Jewish traditions are sustained for the coming generations.

Know your partner’s family

Parents and families are held in high esteem in Jewish communities in line with the Torah Commandment citing “ Honor thy father and thy mother”.

Orthodox Jewish dating partners are supposed to know not only each other’s parents very well,but also their siblings and other extended family members because these are the people with whom the couple will spend the maximum time in the years ahead.

Date within the religion

Though some modern free-thinking Jews are ready to venture out of faith when it comes to dating,you are unlikely to see orthodox Jews dating out of their own community.

In addition, one should understand that orthodox Jewish persons will face a backlash if they date interfaith and may also experience internal conflict as a result.

Avoid or limit physical contact before marriage

Most orthodox Jews belong to the shomer negiah caste which forbids any physical contact with those of the opposite sex before marriage.Even small gestures showing affection, holding hands or kissing are looked down upon.

While some may engage in physical contact, but without sex, they are Jews that are not shomer negiah. Still even they respect a partner’s boundaries without pressurising them.

Date to marry

Jews consider dating as a precursor to marriage, therefore Jewish theology forbids marriage until both partners give full consent to the match.

Jewish dating is meant for a well-meaning man and a strong woman who has reached marriageable age and are looking for a soulmate to call their own. If someone doesn’t display the potential of becoming a marriage partner, orthodox Jewish singles are supposed to move on and explore other suitable options.

Always date in a public place

Jewish law consider places not only as spots of prime location,but suitable dating venues as well. If a man and woman are willing to date they should not meet in any discreet or private place.

Dates should take place in such a place that there is no possibility of them being alone,like the lobby of a hotel,a cafe or a restaurant where they can sit with other guests and perhaps order something to drink.

Avoid breakups

When Jewish singles date,it is an obligation not to cause any hurt or pain in the relationship. Intentionally breaking the partner’s heart or make them feel hurt in any manner.

Jews take relationship more seriously than others and as such cannot tolerate a situation which may lead to either partner may feel having been used or taken advantage of.

To sum up

Mutual dedication is a must to learn about each other and cater to needs of both. Otherwise finding one’s life partner for a Jewish single could take much longer than expected.



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