After two years working in a busy, multi-practitioner medical office that serves more than 240 regular patients, I’ve noticed patterns in patient behavior that I feel are important to address. Roughly one-third of our patients are Orthodox Jews, with the remainder coming from diverse non-religious or non-Jewish backgrounds.

One difference is striking: non-Jewish and non-religious patients generally show a high level of respect for the doctor’s time and expertise. They remain attentive, avoid distractions such as phone use, and stay fully engaged during their brief appointments. This focused approach helps ensure that all patients receive timely, quality care.

By contrast, some members of our own community have exhibited behaviors that create challenges for both the medical staff and the overall environment. Examples include repeatedly leaving and re-entering exam rooms; allowing children to create messes or excessive noise that require staff intervention; expressing impatience or frustration in ways that disrupt the atmosphere.

These actions not only slow the flow of care but can also lead to a chillul Hashem.

A particularly sensitive issue involves interactions with female medical staff. While we fully respect religious values, the manner in which some concerns are expressed can come across as dismissive or even degrading. For example, statements such as “We can’t have any females in the room” reduce skilled professionals to their gender, ignoring their training and contributions. Likewise, comments like “Is it really necessary for you to do this exam? Can we just have a doctor examine us?” imply that an assistant’s role is unimportant, which is both inaccurate and disrespectful.

It is important to understand that our staff—male and female alike—are already sensitive to these concerns. Female team members often ask before touching a boy patient, and will sometimes place items down instead of handing them directly to a patient. These adjustments are made out of respect for your values, but they require mutual respect in return.

Our female staff are highly trained professionals here to help you. If you feel unable to interact with them respectfully, it may be best to seek care in a setting better aligned with your preferences. Our office strives to accommodate all patients’ needs, but mutual respect is essential.

This is not about compromising religious principles—it is about expressing them in ways that reflect kindness, dignity, and awareness of the situation. Sending a teenage boy into an exam room alone, without guidance or context, often makes these interactions more challenging, not less.

Respecting the doctor’s time, the staff’s professionalism, and the dignity of everyone present—regardless of background—reflects the true strength of our community. Let us work together to ensure that our conduct in the medical setting consistently embodies the respect and compassion our values promote.

Signed,

M.R.

The views expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review.