Dear Fellow Rabbanim and Askanim,
I write to you with a heavy heart, on behalf of Yidden around the world. As I speak to my tzibur about growth, about drawing closer to Hashem, and about resisting the overwhelming gashmiyus that surrounds us, I feel that I can no longer remain silent.
The extravagance at our simchas has reached a frightening level. Weddings, vorts and vort nachs, brissim, bar mitzvahs — even parties for three-year-olds — have become productions of excess. How low have we fallen? How far have we drifted from where we are meant to be?
Under the chuppah, we sing about the Beis Hamikdash. We break a glass to remember Yerushalayim. And moments later, we spend fortunes to display wealth and status. Do we truly want Mashiach? Are we prepared to surrender our money and our kavod? Or are we fooling ourselves?
Halacha does not justify wastefulness simply because one also gives tzedakah. In our own kehillos are families who cannot pay tuition, who struggle to prepare for Shabbos, who desperately need help. Before justifying another extravagant event, look around at the people sitting beside you in shul.
I beg my fellow Rabbanim: speak up. Call this behavior out. Do not legitimize it with your presence. We must restore dignity, modesty, and proper priorities to our simchas.
We are Hashem’s chosen children. Let us live like it.
A concerned Rav
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4 Responses
prepared to surrender our money and our kavod???
What is the point of this article exactly?
Where do you draw the line between a beautiful bekovodige chasuna and “wastefulness?”
If we add a piece of meat to each plate is that wasteful?
If we have a chasuna at the Palace in Boro Park because we want everything on the main floor with no elevators required is that overdoing it?
What does it mean to fargin?
If someone makes a lot of money BH BH and gives 20%, they can’t spend it? What if they give 50? Can they enjoy a little then?
Perhaps Hashem should test you with wealth and let’s see what happens.
Well everyone thought COVID would change things. How sweet the weddings on streets where neighbors stood on porches singing along at small weddings with immediate families. And then everything went back to normal. Presents for tens of thousands of dollars before weddings. Silver large menorahs,silver esrog boxes,silver bechers,silver leichters,silver embroidery challah covers with silver challah knives,expensive leather Machzirim, Rolex watches braclets etc
5 to 10 piece bands. Several big name singers. Average wedding 120 or more thousand dollars. Crazy upgrades. Everything adds up. Then comes furniture etc. streimels five to eight thousand dollars. Where are we heading.
It took Raban Gamliel making a personal example of himself to end the terrible pressure of “respectable burial shrouds.”
This insanity will not end so long as our “leadership” continues not only to condone, but to indulge in luxury, even if it is on someone else’s dime.
The writer, although well intentioned , is simply
Living in LA LA land….
Or maybe he is just disgruntled that he wasn’t invited to the 10 million Morrocan affair