Last week, YWN published a letter from the father of a Kallah regarding the insane spending on Chasunos. Please publish the following from the mother of a Kallah:
When I first read about the Simcha Initiative, I found myself nodding along in mutual agreement with the project’s ambition to minimize the unnecessary extravagance and expense that so often accompanies our community’s Simchos. Naturally, I would add my name to the hundreds of others who have already joined the movement. Who wouldn’t? The idea of going over the top, and over the budget for some is by no measure a way to continue marrying off our children.
Allow me to preface by saying that I have a daughter who is B”H engaged and am in the midst of the typical wedding preparations. B”H I am financially comfortable and am blessed with the means that would allow me to make a Simcha “in style.” However, I have no desire to. Even before Corona hit, I would cringe when I attended such weddings and pitied the money spent to “enhance” the Simcha, when in reality, most guests would have felt more comfortable had it been a simpler and more toned down. Yet, I paused before signing and ultimately decided not to.
Permit me to explain.
According to the initiative’s guidelines, a maximum of 250 guest should be invited for the meal. Yet, no standards have been set and no mention has been made of the lavish meal, of the 15-piece band, of the sprawling centerpieces. It is very easy to make an extravagant wedding with only 250 people in attendance. All the more so, it is tempting. I don’t believe this will in any way deter the wealthy from making overstated Simchos. Less people, more upgrades. Why not serve rib roast to each guest? Why not hire the singer of the century? Fly flowers in from Holland? Opt for the highest end décor? It’s all in keeping with the Simcha Initiative, is it not?
I would hope, that especially in a time like this, after all the pain and loss we experienced, all we would want is to share our Simcha with the most friends and family possible.
Perhaps we can try to embark on a new initiative: An initiative to lessen that which accompanies our Simchos yet maximize those who join it.
NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of YWN.
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