I write this as a father in pain. In pain because I love my daughter, I feel for her and when a parent is put in to a situation where their hands are tied and there is nothing they can do to help it makes something difficult that much worse.
Let me preface by saying I am not a new parent, this is not my oldest child I am writing about, I have BH been a parent for close to thirty years. In addition, I am not a parent who is convinced my child is perfect, the smartest or the best at everything she does, close but not perfect.
My daughter is in the 12th grade and is now going through the grueling, unfair ridiculous process of seminary applications and interviews. I am well aware that a year in seminary in Eretz Yisroel is not mandatory, tell that to her teachers that convinced her otherwise, but that is a conversation for another day.
We found out this week that none of the seminaries she applied for is willing to accept her. I have “no doubt” that they gave it serious consideration after all they gladly took her application fee. She is either too yeshivish, or not as scholastically achieved as they are looking for, or to use the politically correct term just simply not “a good fit”.
What have we come to that a good girl, who for all her years in school has never missed a homework assignment, never had an unexcused absence, never had a discipline problem, has taken school seriously, no cell phone, no internet, nothing. She has followed all the rules to perfection. Now she stands with a half year left to high school knowing she just doesn’t cut it.
I wonder how many girls over the years have been turned off from this process. How many girls have said to themselves, if after all these years of hard work the very system I have worked to be part of is now rejecting me? Well I will reject it as well.
When will those “in charge” wake up and realize they are not serving a purpose whatsoever, they are personally responsible for damaging the future mothers of Klal Yisroel. I don’t know what the percentages are but clearly more girls get rejected than get accepted, and what percentage of those rejected are damaged from the experience. A fool I am not, rejection and an application process are a necessity, but rejection has to be for a good reason.
When a seminary that demands application fees and tremendous amounts of money in tuition can not even give you a straight answer about anything, then one begs to wonder what their real motive of operation really is.
It is time for change!
I am from the lucky parents my daughter says whatever Hahem wants is what will happen.
Will you be?
Name withheld upon request.
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