Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Funny Shidduch Stories
Tagged: LOL, Shidduchim, Stories
- This topic has 1,483 replies, 306 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 10 months ago by โ๏ธcoffee addict.
-
AuthorPosts
-
May 20, 2009 9:00 pm at 9:00 pm #1226865areivimzehlazehParticipant
So we have Jax tonight and anonymisss and jewishfem Thursday night- this place is on a roll.
ames, moish, aussie, aob and anyone else that cares to join in this venture – whadya say to splitting up and checking all the lobbies and restaurants tonight and tomorrow night ๐
May 20, 2009 9:12 pm at 9:12 pm #1226866shaatraMemberI.M Here: tell me about it!!
May 20, 2009 9:26 pm at 9:26 pm #1226867shaatraMemberAmes lol, don’t blame u- booorriing!!!! But if u don’t really like the guy its so much better. I hate doing fun, enjoyable things when I don’t really like the person!!
May 20, 2009 9:28 pm at 9:28 pm #1226868areivimzehlazehParticipantames- when you’re on the other side of the fence it’s a whole different experience ๐
May 20, 2009 9:32 pm at 9:32 pm #1226869an open bookParticipantshaatra: glad you’re back ๐
…now i have to go back & actually read the thread ๐
May 20, 2009 10:37 pm at 10:37 pm #1226870shaatraMemberAn open book thanx ๐
May 20, 2009 10:54 pm at 10:54 pm #1226871kapustaParticipantI think I’ll check out Le Marais or Wolf and Lamb tonight… maybe check for Jax… anyone have some headphones that are good for tapping the next table?
May 20, 2009 10:57 pm at 10:57 pm #1226872an open bookParticipantkapusta: he should be very easy to spot, if i remember correctly his hair is green.
May 20, 2009 11:03 pm at 11:03 pm #1226873May 20, 2009 11:16 pm at 11:16 pm #1226874an open bookParticipantsure. it’s not like i don’t have anything better to do tonight. (i wish)
May 21, 2009 12:43 am at 12:43 am #1226875anonymisssParticipantkapusta, I’m coming with you!
~a~
May 21, 2009 12:53 am at 12:53 am #1226876an open bookParticipantanonymisss: k but we’re gonna look out for you tomorrow ๐
May 21, 2009 2:28 am at 2:28 am #1226877kapustaParticipantAOB, come here and study for me while I go look for Jax.
anonymisss, sure, where are you heading tomorrow night? at least give us (me, AOB, and probably Jax) a vicinity.
May 21, 2009 3:34 am at 3:34 am #1226878anonymisssParticipantkapusta, ;P
I wonder how jax is doing?
~a~
May 21, 2009 4:48 am at 4:48 am #1226880shaatraMember*everytime thinking about it I meant
May 21, 2009 4:49 am at 4:49 am #1226881coke not pepsiMemberya but there better then restaurants where u see the world
May 21, 2009 5:20 am at 5:20 am #1226883beaconParticipantya but there better then restaurants where u see the world
Location, location, location ๐
May 21, 2009 5:42 am at 5:42 am #1226884May 21, 2009 5:58 am at 5:58 am #1226885JaxMemberanonymisss: all is well on the western front! ๐
May 21, 2009 6:11 am at 6:11 am #1226886JaxMemberan open book: ha yeah green hair as areivim once put it! now actual CR Trivia is to remember the real color of it! ๐
May 21, 2009 6:16 am at 6:16 am #1226887anonymisssParticipantThank god!
~a~
May 21, 2009 6:41 am at 6:41 am #1226888CrashOverrideMemberWould having your hair being blue improve chances? ๐
May 21, 2009 6:42 am at 6:42 am #1226889JaxMemberCrashOverride: HI! takah maybe!;)
May 21, 2009 6:45 am at 6:45 am #1226890CrashOverrideMemberHi Jax ๐
Perhaps we should compile a listing of the various hair colours, along with a statistical analysis of the chances ๐ (could lead to some very interesting ‘new trends’)
May 21, 2009 6:47 am at 6:47 am #1226891JaxMemberCrashOverride: i’m no fan of statistical analysises! ๐ too brainy for little ‘ol me!
May 21, 2009 1:38 pm at 1:38 pm #1226892an open bookParticipantjax: hey really it’s blond, right?
May 21, 2009 5:52 pm at 5:52 pm #1226893shaatraMemberCNP: if ur enjoying the date its a different story…
An open book: yeah it is! Cuz once he said he got a hair cut n can barely see hair cuz its so light!!
May 22, 2009 12:52 am at 12:52 am #1226896kapustaParticipantit just looks green when hes around a mirror and all the money is reflected from his wallet.
May 22, 2009 12:56 am at 12:56 am #1226897an open bookParticipantjax, kapusta: so you think we’ll see anonymisss tonight?
May 22, 2009 1:22 am at 1:22 am #1226898JaxMemberkapusta: gooood one there! ๐
aob: Hi! we should!
May 22, 2009 1:23 am at 1:23 am #1226899an open bookParticipantkapusta: i’m sure that’s it.
May 22, 2009 2:09 am at 2:09 am #1226900kapustaParticipantI think we’re closing in now. CR crowds should please stand back while we complete the final investigations.
May 22, 2009 5:01 am at 5:01 am #1226901outoftownerMemberThis is getting boring- any new stories…?
In reference to the guy with the learners permit..
I once went out with a guy, and the shadchan told me,
He doesn’t have a license but hes a very good driver (he had been in eretz yisroel since before he could get a license) So she hasked me if i minded if he drove… (MY CAR)
Since I am over 18 and had my license for over 5 years, in my state it is legal for someone without a license to drive with someone who has their license (With those conditions met)…
He was a half decent driver,
but the whole time my was hand was grabbing the arm rest by the window for dear life! And I was gasping every time he stopped short…
May 22, 2009 5:10 am at 5:10 am #1226902anonymisssParticipantanonymisss is here;P
~a~
May 22, 2009 5:48 am at 5:48 am #1226903JaxMemberanonymisss: welcome back! you survived! head to General Shmooze! ๐
May 22, 2009 9:28 am at 9:28 am #1226904jewishfeminist02Memberoutoftowner, why didn’t you drive instead?
May 22, 2009 1:43 pm at 1:43 pm #1226905outoftownerMemberBecause I am not a feminist, and I personally would rather feeling like the girl on a date and have a guy take me out… I have driven my car on the first date when I had to, I like to drive, and I have also driven on dates later on.. I have no problem with it, I just prefer that the guy drive.. They seem better at talking and driving then I do ๐
May 26, 2009 7:00 pm at 7:00 pm #1226907mistertoadMemberHeard this from the poor guy who it happened to in BMG.
So , he took out this girl to Manhattan – a day date – , went here and there and they had a great time. I think it was their second date. Anyway – at the last minute when he’s about to end the date – she asked if she could see ground zero. She was an out-of-towner.
So he tried to hail a cab but it was rush hour – half hour later he realizes that he’s getting close to skiah. What to do? So he tells her – no more ground zero , gotta pray. But where? Starbucks? He calls his Uncle who’s a Sr. Partner at some high powered firm and asks him. He says, you’re two blocks away from my firm – on times square! – and we’re davening Mincha soon. Call along, I’ll tell security to let you in.
They walk two blocks and there is the fifty story building. Security asks for ID. Yes, they have clearance to come in. But they must be photographed first! Um…nu, she’s a good bais Yakov maidel – she tells him to get photographed first, and run to mincha. They photograph him – but here’s the punchline. You get a barcoded id pin that you have to wear and the elevator has no buttons – you insert your barcode and it brings to were you have authorization to go. He gets his pass – it says he has a meeting w/his uncle on floor 9. Gevaltdik. Must be mincha. He slips it into the elevator. After a minute, a frum looking guy walks in, and sees the yeshiva guy dressed in a suit with a hat. He tells him he’s going to mincha. “No! Everyday we have it in a different conference room. Today – it’s in floor 10. Don’t worry though. Now you’re my client. Come on – Skiah!” SO he runs with this lawyer to floor 10, finds a minyan of lawyers, and happily davens mincha. He notices his uncle is not there yet….
Meanwhile , downstairs, the poor maidel got photographed and issued a pass. To floor 9 with her dates uncle. No, she says, she rather wait down here. Security says no way. Either to your meeting , or get lost. She’s not sure what to do, when the phone. It’s the uncle. “Did you send up my nephew” “yes sir, to floor 9” “YOU IDIOT! FLOOR 10!” Security had messed up. “We’ve got to find him!” they say. “Here – you know what he looks like – come with us” Two huge security guards escorted this poor to floor 9, where they did a cubicle by cubicle search for her poor date. After ten minutes, one them wonders if he made it to floor ten. Maybe he met another person going to afternoon services? They go floor ten, just as the guy is running out of mincha, not waiting for chazaras hashatz, the security guard grabs the girl by the arm and says “Honey! It’s your boyfriend!”…
They did not get married.
The security guard was fired.
May 26, 2009 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #1226908chaverimMemberGreat story. It sounds very pepperish.
May 26, 2009 10:35 pm at 10:35 pm #1226909JaxMembermistertoad: awesome story! i loved it!
dr. pepper: where are ya been pal!?
May 27, 2009 4:14 am at 4:14 am #1226910shaatraMemberHaha sounds fun ๐
May 27, 2009 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #1226911A600KiloBearParticipantBS”D
Not really a shidduch story like the rest – but did anyone else know that the Ku Klutz Karta’s first trip to Iran was the result of the work of a deaf, aging shadchan?
You see, Ahmadinejad wanted to marry a Jewish girl from a good wannabe kanoi family, so he called a shadchan in NK Monsey and asked him to send over a few of his best prospects.
The shadchan (some say it was Moishe Ber Beck himself) misunderstood and thought Mad Mahmoud wanted to marry off his daughter.
So, he sent over six of the least appealing bochurim on his list, and the rest was history. M.A.F. was Mad Mahmoud’s first choice and they were together for a while but M.A.F. did tshive and no longer goes to Iran. Now Mad Mahmoud is in a relationship with Aharon Cohen who is presently over there where he belongs.
A chuppa is planned but it has to be constructed 50 amois high….
June 5, 2009 3:45 am at 3:45 am #1226912outoftownerMemberAny more? C’mon, I have a hard time believing that noone has had a funny dating experience this week. Besides, I could use a good laugh.
June 5, 2009 5:26 am at 5:26 am #1226913Belev EchadParticipantmy friend just told me a small horror.
hahahahahaha
so basicaly they were taking a lovely stroll in a nice park, second date, and there are some young kids playing around…with water guns…not just any water guns…super soakers.
and as they made their third round around the park…she accidentaly walked in direct line of fire, and got her head splashed with a force of water. her beautifuly blown hair became drenched, and reverted back to the terrifying frizzy curls it normaly is.
she told him she probably looked like a wet poodle.
he didn’t know what a poodle looked like, so she had to explain it to him.
June 5, 2009 4:37 pm at 4:37 pm #1226914areivimzehlazehParticipantkilobear- loved that tale (very funny!), but who or what is M.A.F?
June 7, 2009 2:43 pm at 2:43 pm #1226915mepalMemberblev echad, that’s HORRIFYING! poor girl.
June 8, 2009 1:17 am at 1:17 am #1226916AnonymousInactiveWhat’s so terrifying about frizzy curls?
June 8, 2009 2:26 am at 2:26 am #1226917an open bookParticipantand here we have it – sure proof that mepal’s a girl & will hill’s a guy.
June 8, 2009 3:26 am at 3:26 am #1226918JaxMemberBelev Echad: i used to have one of those Super Soaker water guns, the ones that had the gallon of water pack on the back! those can really soak someone! lots of fun those water guns! really funny that she walked into the line of fire on her date!
June 8, 2009 3:29 am at 3:29 am #1226919JaxMemberWill Hill: you had a bad hair day once on a date?! btw are you the will hill that was asdfghjkl’s sponsor way back?!
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.