Funny Shidduch Stories

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Viewing 50 posts - 651 through 700 (of 1,423 total)
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  • #1226865

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    So we have Jax tonight and anonymisss and jewishfem Thursday night- this place is on a roll.

    ames, moish, aussie, aob and anyone else that cares to join in this venture – whadya say to splitting up and checking all the lobbies and restaurants tonight and tomorrow night πŸ˜‰

    #1226866

    shaatra
    Member

    I.M Here: tell me about it!!

    #1226867

    shaatra
    Member

    Ames lol, don’t blame u- booorriing!!!! But if u don’t really like the guy its so much better. I hate doing fun, enjoyable things when I don’t really like the person!!

    #1226868

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    ames- when you’re on the other side of the fence it’s a whole different experience πŸ˜‰

    #1226869

    an open book
    Participant

    shaatra: glad you’re back πŸ™‚

    …now i have to go back & actually read the thread πŸ˜‰

    #1226870

    shaatra
    Member

    An open book thanx πŸ™‚

    #1226871

    kapusta
    Participant

    I think I’ll check out Le Marais or Wolf and Lamb tonight… maybe check for Jax… anyone have some headphones that are good for tapping the next table?

    *kapusta*

    #1226872

    an open book
    Participant

    kapusta: he should be very easy to spot, if i remember correctly his hair is green.

    #1226873

    kapusta
    Participant

    AOB, you coming with me?

    *kapusta*

    #1226874

    an open book
    Participant

    sure. it’s not like i don’t have anything better to do tonight. (i wish)

    #1226875

    anonymisss
    Participant

    kapusta, I’m coming with you!

    ~a~

    #1226876

    an open book
    Participant

    anonymisss: k but we’re gonna look out for you tomorrow πŸ˜‰

    #1226877

    kapusta
    Participant

    AOB, come here and study for me while I go look for Jax.

    anonymisss, sure, where are you heading tomorrow night? at least give us (me, AOB, and probably Jax) a vicinity.

    *kapusta*

    #1226878

    anonymisss
    Participant

    kapusta, ;P

    I wonder how jax is doing?

    ~a~

    #1226880

    shaatra
    Member

    *everytime thinking about it I meant

    #1226881

    ya but there better then restaurants where u see the world

    #1226883

    beacon
    Participant

    ya but there better then restaurants where u see the world

    Location, location, location πŸ˜‰

    #1226884

    kapusta
    Participant

    Jax, how was it?

    *kapusta*

    #1226885

    Jax
    Member

    anonymisss: all is well on the western front! πŸ˜‰

    #1226886

    Jax
    Member

    an open book: ha yeah green hair as areivim once put it! now actual CR Trivia is to remember the real color of it! πŸ˜‰

    #1226887

    anonymisss
    Participant

    Thank god!

    ~a~

    #1226888

    Would having your hair being blue improve chances? πŸ˜‰

    #1226889

    Jax
    Member

    CrashOverride: HI! takah maybe!;)

    #1226890

    Hi Jax πŸ™‚

    Perhaps we should compile a listing of the various hair colours, along with a statistical analysis of the chances πŸ˜‰ (could lead to some very interesting ‘new trends’)

    #1226891

    Jax
    Member

    CrashOverride: i’m no fan of statistical analysises! πŸ˜‰ too brainy for little ‘ol me!

    #1226892

    an open book
    Participant

    jax: hey really it’s blond, right?

    #1226893

    shaatra
    Member

    CNP: if ur enjoying the date its a different story…

    An open book: yeah it is! Cuz once he said he got a hair cut n can barely see hair cuz its so light!!

    #1226896

    kapusta
    Participant

    it just looks green when hes around a mirror and all the money is reflected from his wallet.

    *kapusta*

    #1226897

    an open book
    Participant

    jax, kapusta: so you think we’ll see anonymisss tonight?

    #1226898

    Jax
    Member

    kapusta: gooood one there! πŸ˜‰

    aob: Hi! we should!

    #1226899

    an open book
    Participant

    kapusta: i’m sure that’s it.

    #1226900

    kapusta
    Participant

    I think we’re closing in now. CR crowds should please stand back while we complete the final investigations.

    *kapusta*

    #1226901

    outoftowner
    Member

    This is getting boring- any new stories…?

    In reference to the guy with the learners permit..

    I once went out with a guy, and the shadchan told me,

    He doesn’t have a license but hes a very good driver (he had been in eretz yisroel since before he could get a license) So she hasked me if i minded if he drove… (MY CAR)

    Since I am over 18 and had my license for over 5 years, in my state it is legal for someone without a license to drive with someone who has their license (With those conditions met)…

    He was a half decent driver,

    but the whole time my was hand was grabbing the arm rest by the window for dear life! And I was gasping every time he stopped short…

    #1226902

    anonymisss
    Participant

    anonymisss is here;P

    ~a~

    #1226903

    Jax
    Member

    anonymisss: welcome back! you survived! head to General Shmooze! πŸ™‚

    #1226904

    outoftowner, why didn’t you drive instead?

    #1226905

    outoftowner
    Member

    Because I am not a feminist, and I personally would rather feeling like the girl on a date and have a guy take me out… I have driven my car on the first date when I had to, I like to drive, and I have also driven on dates later on.. I have no problem with it, I just prefer that the guy drive.. They seem better at talking and driving then I do πŸ™‚

    #1226907

    mistertoad
    Member

    Heard this from the poor guy who it happened to in BMG.

    So , he took out this girl to Manhattan – a day date – , went here and there and they had a great time. I think it was their second date. Anyway – at the last minute when he’s about to end the date – she asked if she could see ground zero. She was an out-of-towner.

    So he tried to hail a cab but it was rush hour – half hour later he realizes that he’s getting close to skiah. What to do? So he tells her – no more ground zero , gotta pray. But where? Starbucks? He calls his Uncle who’s a Sr. Partner at some high powered firm and asks him. He says, you’re two blocks away from my firm – on times square! – and we’re davening Mincha soon. Call along, I’ll tell security to let you in.

    They walk two blocks and there is the fifty story building. Security asks for ID. Yes, they have clearance to come in. But they must be photographed first! Um…nu, she’s a good bais Yakov maidel – she tells him to get photographed first, and run to mincha. They photograph him – but here’s the punchline. You get a barcoded id pin that you have to wear and the elevator has no buttons – you insert your barcode and it brings to were you have authorization to go. He gets his pass – it says he has a meeting w/his uncle on floor 9. Gevaltdik. Must be mincha. He slips it into the elevator. After a minute, a frum looking guy walks in, and sees the yeshiva guy dressed in a suit with a hat. He tells him he’s going to mincha. “No! Everyday we have it in a different conference room. Today – it’s in floor 10. Don’t worry though. Now you’re my client. Come on – Skiah!” SO he runs with this lawyer to floor 10, finds a minyan of lawyers, and happily davens mincha. He notices his uncle is not there yet….

    Meanwhile , downstairs, the poor maidel got photographed and issued a pass. To floor 9 with her dates uncle. No, she says, she rather wait down here. Security says no way. Either to your meeting , or get lost. She’s not sure what to do, when the phone. It’s the uncle. “Did you send up my nephew” “yes sir, to floor 9” “YOU IDIOT! FLOOR 10!” Security had messed up. “We’ve got to find him!” they say. “Here – you know what he looks like – come with us” Two huge security guards escorted this poor to floor 9, where they did a cubicle by cubicle search for her poor date. After ten minutes, one them wonders if he made it to floor ten. Maybe he met another person going to afternoon services? They go floor ten, just as the guy is running out of mincha, not waiting for chazaras hashatz, the security guard grabs the girl by the arm and says “Honey! It’s your boyfriend!”…

    They did not get married.

    The security guard was fired.

    #1226908

    chaverim
    Member

    Great story. It sounds very pepperish.

    #1226909

    Jax
    Member

    mistertoad: awesome story! i loved it!

    dr. pepper: where are ya been pal!?

    #1226910

    shaatra
    Member

    Haha sounds fun πŸ˜‰

    #1226911

    A600KiloBear
    Participant

    BS”D

    Not really a shidduch story like the rest – but did anyone else know that the Ku Klutz Karta’s first trip to Iran was the result of the work of a deaf, aging shadchan?

    You see, Ahmadinejad wanted to marry a Jewish girl from a good wannabe kanoi family, so he called a shadchan in NK Monsey and asked him to send over a few of his best prospects.

    The shadchan (some say it was Moishe Ber Beck himself) misunderstood and thought Mad Mahmoud wanted to marry off his daughter.

    So, he sent over six of the least appealing bochurim on his list, and the rest was history. M.A.F. was Mad Mahmoud’s first choice and they were together for a while but M.A.F. did tshive and no longer goes to Iran. Now Mad Mahmoud is in a relationship with Aharon Cohen who is presently over there where he belongs.

    A chuppa is planned but it has to be constructed 50 amois high….

    #1226912

    outoftowner
    Member

    Any more? C’mon, I have a hard time believing that noone has had a funny dating experience this week. Besides, I could use a good laugh.

    #1226913

    Belev Echad
    Participant

    my friend just told me a small horror.

    hahahahahaha

    so basicaly they were taking a lovely stroll in a nice park, second date, and there are some young kids playing around…with water guns…not just any water guns…super soakers.

    and as they made their third round around the park…she accidentaly walked in direct line of fire, and got her head splashed with a force of water. her beautifuly blown hair became drenched, and reverted back to the terrifying frizzy curls it normaly is.

    she told him she probably looked like a wet poodle.

    he didn’t know what a poodle looked like, so she had to explain it to him.

    #1226914

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    kilobear- loved that tale (very funny!), but who or what is M.A.F?

    #1226915

    mepal
    Member

    blev echad, that’s HORRIFYING! poor girl.

    #1226916

    Anonymous

    What’s so terrifying about frizzy curls?

    #1226917

    an open book
    Participant

    and here we have it – sure proof that mepal’s a girl & will hill’s a guy.

    #1226918

    Jax
    Member

    Belev Echad: i used to have one of those Super Soaker water guns, the ones that had the gallon of water pack on the back! those can really soak someone! lots of fun those water guns! really funny that she walked into the line of fire on her date!

    #1226919

    Jax
    Member

    Will Hill: you had a bad hair day once on a date?! btw are you the will hill that was asdfghjkl’s sponsor way back?!

Viewing 50 posts - 651 through 700 (of 1,423 total)
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