Funny Shidduch Stories

Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee Funny Shidduch Stories

Viewing 50 posts - 1,201 through 1,250 (of 1,485 total)
  • Author
  • #1227477

    I think he meant both he and his wife


    I had no extraordinarily funny shidduch dates. All of them went pretty routinely. Am I the odd man out, or all the oddballs the ones posting here? 😉


    TheChevra, take these stories with a grain of salt, some are probably not true…


    Shadchan: How was the date?

    Me: Half of it was good.

    Shadchan: Which half?

    Me: My half.

    Or maybe;

    Shadchan: How was the date?

    Me: A quarter of it was good.

    Shadchan: Which quarter?

    Me: My quarter.

    Which version is funnier?

    Also, what does the second version mean to you?


    I guess the story with the train and the water will sound funnier in a couple of days.


    Was once on a date with a Canadian, we were on a highway when he decided to suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway, roll down the passengers window (i covered my face) to ask for directions!!! cars were honking in the back of us, the cars beside us were cursing at us. I was just like ” I don’t know how it is in Canada, but that illegal in the U.S!


    Here’s a Classic, and sorry if someone already posted it.

    a story from many many years ago, but still a good one.

    Jewish Guy goes skiing with his date, and they get stuck on the ski lift and it begins to get dark. Because of (the) yichud (monster), the guy jumps off and breaks his leg.

    Ouch! Well at least he escaped an issur!

    [a) what happened to that couple? no clue. b) what happpened to the girl? no clue.]


    in rabbi dovid kaplan’s book lasting impact, he writes that story but that the girl jumped and broke both legs and it turned into a family discussion. we were all wondering why the guy didnt jump, and were curious about what happened after!!!!!


    so basically the story is that they went on the ski left it was the end of the day and the controller person didnt check to make sure it was empty and left so they were stuck about 30 ft above ground. she decided to jump. she broke her leg but somehow or other managed to drag herself to the booth and call for help. she sued i forgot if she won or not and no they did not get married (i heard this from a reliable source but cant post it bec it would identify me)


    Actually… that ski lift story is from a TV show called “Curb Your Enthusiasm” where they feature an orthodox jew. The creator is jewish.

    I didn’t watch this personally but a classmate of mine told me about it when asking about Orthodox Judiasm. I had to explain that that wouldn’t happen with sane people.

    Did you really believe that story? The holes are way too huge (hard to be shomer negiah sitting next to each other on a ski lift… wouldn’t they see it getting dark? it’s not like those lifts take 45 minutes…If they’re that farfrumt would they go skiing at all…I could go on)


    actually it happened in the summer so they werent going skiing and its not so hard to be shomer on a ski lift it can easily fit 4 ppl and they close long before it gets dark in the summer


    They went on a ski lift but they weren’t going skiing? What kind of ski lifts fit 4 people? and you still can’t change the fact it was on a tv show a while ago-google it if you don’t believe me. I just did before posting.

    If this story were true it wouldn’t have been all over the news and the whole entire frum world would have been abuzz.

    As they say if a story is too good to be true, it probably isn’t.


    iyhbyu- i was just told that the story happened but curb your enthusiasim did there story based off of it.

    i heard the story from a reliable source, one that probably has not watched that show. in addition, the person said it happened many many years ago.


    yep it happened like 35-40 yrs ago


    True or not true, it’s a funny story. Any others?


    simchashachaim- sounds like you have something against the issur of yichud??


    Yes, this ski-lift story was the subject of a lawsuit called Friedman v. State of New York in 1967.



    I never believed that story until now 🙂


    @simcha-My bad. You were right. I’m going to post a bit of the court’s opinion though I don’t know if the Mods will find it to be too long. Friedman v State.282 N.Y.S.2d 858

    After arriving at the top of the chair lift, they walked away from the ski lift area, through the picnic area to an area, where they were out of sight of the ski lift terminal, and had their picnic lunch. They then wandered around the area sight seeing. Miss Friedman testified that it started to become colder, she was dressed in a cotton skirt, light blouse, and sneakers, and that she thought she looked at her watch and, as it was about 5:10 P.M., she said they should go back down the mountain. Mr. Katz thought it was about 5:30 P.M. when they decided to go back down the mountain. It took them about 10 to 15 minutes to walk to the chair lift area. When they arrived there, they found it deserted but the chair lift was still in operation. Mr. Katz suggested that they walk the trail down but Miss Friedman was cold and tired and, as they had purchased round-trip tickets, *452 suggested that they get on the chair lift and ride it down the mountain; which they did. They did not observe any barriers which prevented their walking to the loading platform; and, they did not have to climb over, through, or under any barriers to reach the loading platform. They did not observe any signs which forbade their entering the loading area when attendants were not present. A few minutes after they started down on the chair lift, at about towers 15 and 16, the chair lift ceased operation and these two young people were stranded, suspended 20 to 25 feet in the air. They screamed and yelled for help for over 15 minutes but to no avail. They discussed their situation and Miss Friedman became agitated, panicky and reached a stage of near hysteria at the prospect of being stranded on the mountain, 25 feet in the air, overnight. It **862 is our opinion, and we so find, that she reached the hysterical frame of reference for two reasons. In the first instance, it does not require much imagination or experience to determine that a lightly dressed 16 year old city girl might become hysterical at the prospect of spending a night on a mountainside, suspended in the air and with no apparent reason to hope for rescue until the next morning. Secondly, we must add to the fact of expectable hysteria, the moral compulsion this young lady believed she was under, not to spend a night alone with a man.


    @simchashaim-you were right. My bad. I’m posting just a bit of the court’s opinion which it talks about yichud.

    Friedman v. State, 282 N.Y.S.2d 858, 860 (N.Y. Ct. Cl. 1967)


    @chayav inish livisumay

    NOT AT ALL! just playing around with the words.




    once a guy and girl were on a date and the guy noticed his pants was ripped so he made up a story to the girl how he needed to pick up a set of clothing to be given as a gift to someone. after they went into the store he picked out a shirt and a pair of pants . when he got to the register he whispered to the cashier that he only needed the pants and that the shirt shouldn’t be put into the bag. after leaving the store with his date and new purchase they proceeded to a restaurant where the guy went directly to the mens room to change his pants . when he got there he took off his ripped pants ,threw them out the window . he opened the bag and realized that the cashier put the shirt instead of the pants into the bag . he was stuck obviously and thats all i heard of the story dont know how it ends . if anyone does, would be appreciated.


    AKA47, that is a common urban myth in the goyishe velt.


    A friend of mine told me she was on a date and the guy’s car got towed!


    Dunno: my brother’s car got towed.

    End of the story; they’re happpily married!!


    I was on a date in one of the lounges. Surprisingly there was only one other shidduch date there (usually the place is crowded)and I happened to think the boy was quite cute at first glance! An hour later I get a closer look (still just us 2 couples in the lounge) when the boy gets up to get his date a drink-and I realize-its my BROTHER!!


    My friend’s sister was on a date, and the guy parked in an illegal spot.

    The guy was being a real jerk, so she went to the “bathroom”, and flagged down a cop, showed him the car, and said it was her boyfriend’s who had just dumped her.

    The cop had it towed to Islip.


    lol thats mean popa but he prob deserved it!!!!


    cshapiro: i think you have forgotten pba’s other thread.


    the one where he admits that he does not always tell the truth, the whole truth, and/or anything like the truth. 🙂


    maybe the mods removed it because of the loshon hora in it.


    hahahahaha i have a really funny one. okay so this girl (not saying how i know her, b/c i dont want people to figure me out) went on a date. she wanted to go to the bathroom, and so did he. so they both got up to go, but it was a one bathroom resteraunt. so the gentleman that he is, he let her go first. after touching up her makeup for like ten minutes, she went back out, and noticed the toilet was stuffed! she couldnt leave so she PLUNGED IT WITH HER HAND!!!!!!!!!!! gross. they ended up getting married tho and have an adorable kid.


    Ewww, but funny. 🙂


    Just bringing up the thread in connection whith the emberesing stories thread.

    Dr. Pepper


    Thanks for reviving this, this story happened after a date, I hope no one minds.

    My brother and I were grocery shopping some years ago when we came to a large open area in the store, it was two wide aisles with a waist high freezer section in the middle. My brother paused, motioned at a girl and her mother who were in the second aisle and said, “oh no, I went out with her, let’s make a run for it before she turns around”.

    He took off with the shopping cart. As he passed the aisle I put my foot in front of the wheel, he let out this loud gasp and the girl swung around to see him bent over the handle bar, feet slightly in the air. His face was still red when he promised to get me back.


    Dr. Pepper,

    Was that Moshe you did that to?

    Dr. Pepper

    Yes, you got it.

    (Do you know any of my other brothers?)


    Let’s revive this thread!! a/o have any funny dating stories recently? Dr. Pepper – i especcially like ur stories!!!


    I was once on a date where the guy accidentally turned onto one of the busiest avenues in the city, the WRONG WAY (into oncoming traffic)! To say I was terrified would be the understatement of the century!

    On another date (a different person), second date, he took me bowling. I volunteered to enter our names into the “computer”. Of course, I had a momentary lapse of memory, and couldn’t remember his name! Now that’s embarrassing!


    You should of asked him “how do you _spell_ your name?”


    lightitup- So you were able to tell that the boy was cute and first glance, but you couldnt tell it was your brother? Now thats a story I have a hard time believing.


    some of these are hysterical Im rolling! its funny cause I read them months ago ( most of them) but dont rem them and they are funny all over again


    same here!


    More funny at the time, well, here goes.

    You know when you’re dating and sometimes the girl has no grasp of what sarcasm is. Well, one time when I was dating, after about a half an hour I warmed up a little and started to share my sense of humor.

    I quickly realized that this girl was just not getting any whiff

    of sarcasm even with a strong emphasis on my tone. Realizing that there was no chance of a future with a girl that doesn’t get me, or it.

    So I became curious as to what was the limit, and if I could push it. When would she finally say “I don’t believe you.”

    I started being sarcastic making up stuff I did, places I went,

    being chased by cops, arabs, miraculously escaping trouble.

    I believe I told her I lightly hit some drunk guy with the car, and since nobody noticed including him, I just kept on going.

    LOL! Her eyes got wider and wider but she kept on believing.

    It was too funny, she started thinking I was insane, but totally believed everything. I started worrying about my reputation so I told her to keep my adventures private as I was confiding in her.

    There was much silence from her the rest of the date as she couldn’t top my stories.

    When I pulled up in front of her house, the car was still moving when she flung open the door, bolting out like the car was on fire. She probably just needed the restroom.

    I didn’t even have to tell the Shadchan no or the reason B”H,

    She was very clear in her refusal to try again.

    I felt kind of bad…

    cause I had some more awesome stories to tell her.

    I guess she was embarrassed to tell others she dated an adventurer

    because B”H I never had to explain to the Shadchan what went on.


    a guy borrows his friend’s car for a date but his friend forgets to tell his wife that he lent the car out. the wife looks out the window and sees the car is missing so she calls the cops and they drive arnd town looking for it. they finally track it down and pull the guy on the date over. and to make everything worse the owner of the car was a diamond dealer and had a gun under the driver’s seat!


    LuvsLife – how did they smoothe that one over???

    Dr. Pepper


    Reminds me of a story my father told me from when he was in yeshiva.

    A guy borrowed his fathers car for the week of sheva berachos. One morning the father decides to take the car but didn’t want to disturb the newlyweds so he didn’t call them. The guy notices that the car is gone and panics. He calls the police, shows them the registration to “prove” that he is the owner and a short time later the police pull over the “thief”. The “thief” didn’t have the registration on him but he showed the cops his drivers license (which in those days didn’t have a picture).

    He was arrested for car theft and using a fake ID. (The cops assumed that the son was the owner and the father found the ID in the car and “pretended” that he was the owner.)

    The newlyweds spent a full day of sheva berachos bailing out their father / father-in-law from jail for stealing his own car and impersonating himself!


    Dr. Pepper! so good to hear from you again!

Viewing 50 posts - 1,201 through 1,250 (of 1,485 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.