Funny Shidduch Stories

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  • #1227528

    YW Band
    Member

    For those who go 2 the Brklyn Marriot:

    I went pass the building in the main lane (not service lane) to look for parking. little did i know the next available was the bridge so I had to turn illegally when there was a cop looking 2!

    i said phew & my date laughed but little embarrassing. i couldn’t afford 20 min back & forth on the bridge (yea like that will work 4 cops..) lol

    #1227529

    yungerman1
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper- Do you only post on this thread??

    #1227530

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    yungerman1-

    I have ventured into other threads with horrible consequences. When I wished SJSinNYC a mazel tov on the birth of her daughter I must have said something that offended her since she hasn’t been seen since. (At least not on YWN.)

    More recently whenever I comment on a thread about Joseph the thread is either deleted or locked. I did comment on on the 4096th General Shmooze though.

    #1227531

    miritchka
    Member

    Well Dr. Pepper, many of us love to hear from you! please comment more often!

    #1227532

    ’twasn’t the 4096th GS. It was the 6th attempt at a 4th GS, hence 4 to the 6th power which is 4096. Its all there b’feirush in the thread.

    but good to have you back anyway, Dr. Pepper. Please tell me you have more funny shidduch stories to share! You either had the wildest things happen to you on dates or you have an amazing imagination – either way, your stories are awesome and very much missed!

    #1227533

    golden mom
    Member

    a couple friends go out to dinner to celebrate one of there engagements meanwhile for some reason one of the girls is looking for something in her pocketbook and lands up taking a few things out and putting it on the table one of the friends ask why she has pocket game boards in her pocketbook she said oh cuz i went on a date last night and when a date gets boaring i take out a game and offer the guy if u wants to play we all thought she was joking until we realized one of our other friends was chocking one her food till we got her to tell us what was so funny she said her choosed was telling her on one of the dates about all the crazy dates hes had and one of them was when a girl pulled out board games from her pocket book to play what a coinsodence she said till we realized that her friend dated her choosen how embarrising

    #1227534

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    charlie brown-

    Actually I immediately recognized the number as 2^12.

    I’ve posted all the stories I can think of (except for the ones that will get me banned R”L). If any new stories come up I’ll post them, I’m not in yeshiva and B”H haven’t dated in a long time so don’t hold your breath.

    #1227535

    Englishman
    Member

    So how do you anticipate new stories coming up, Doc?

    #1227536

    Dr. Pepper,

    So all those stories where really true? Wow!!!

    Oh well, they were great while they lasted and thanks for sharing them here.

    #1227537

    Englishman
    Member

    Dr. Pepper,

    So all those stories where really true? Wow!!!

    charlie brown:

    Doc said “I’ve posted all the stories I can think of. Where did he say they were necessarily true?

    #1227538

    englishman, lol.

    #1227539

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    charlie brown & Englishman-

    The stories that I wrote about myself are true. The stories that I wrote about others I assume are true. If there was any reason to doubt the story I usually mentioned that.

    #1227540

    realtalk
    Member

    Happened in Israel. Guy and girl going out for the first time. They’re waiting by the bus stop when an arab comes up to them.

    Arab: Are you hubby and wife?

    Boy: Nope

    Arab: what are you doing here?

    Boy: Meeting

    Arab:Are you gonna get engaged?

    Second Date:

    In hotel lobby, boy goes to the bathroom. Older guy comes over and asks to sit down. Girl: someone’s sitting there. Guy: Well there’s enough room for me too. When boy returned:Lets have a party.

    NO there not married.

    #1227541

    yay
    Member

    guy called 45 minutes before and asked if can come late, calls “im outside theres no parking” (i live on busy flatbush street but cmon!) and then looks uncombed and disheveled! eyes red from exhaustion and tells me was working on helping the tenants with some faulty stairs at a rental property his parents own! no time for a comb?! lol i was even asked the same questions over and over while we sat on date. real winner lol

    #1227543

    sternberger
    Member

    i would post s/t but bh not in shidduchim yet… please revive this thread!!!!

    #1227544

    writersoul
    Member

    Someone I know went out on her first date about 15 years ago— they went to the Twin Towers to the observation deck. This guy takes her up, and is evidently enjoying himself enough that when she complains that she has a fear of heights, he REFUSES TO GO DOWN!!! She was wearing a flare skirt which was poofing in the wind and apparently keeping the skirt down luckily occupied enough of her energy that she was distracted at least a little from her phobia. They then went inside and got sodas, and when they finished them the guy ASKED IF THEY COULD GO BACK ON THE DECK. She refused.

    They did NOT get married, obviously. That was the first and last date.

    She went on another date— they went to the Empire State building observation deck, she told him about the phobia, and he promptly took her back down and they went to Central Park instead.

    They did end up getting married.

    #1227545

    squeak
    Participant

    That proves something important. Guys who are pushovers will end up with the damaged phobic girls. The guys who are leaders pick from better crop.

    #1227546

    iYid
    Member

    I was on a date and we were eating out. When the dessert menu came out my date looked at it intensly debating what to order. When the waiter came to take the order the guy motioned to ask me first. I ordered and the waiter asked what he wanted so he said no thanx. He sat there watching me eat the ice cream sundea. It was really uncomfortable.

    To pay him back I made him come to that same resterant for our anniversary so that I can eat the dessert comfortably that time.

    #1227547

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    To pay him back I made him come to that same resterant for our anniversary so that I can eat the dessert comfortably that time.

    you’re married yet you still call yourself a student?

    oh, and you’re account is only 3 hours old

    Troll?

    #1227548

    Doswin
    Member

    Why did you went go out with him again after he did that to you?

    #1227549

    iYid
    Member

    my husband opened the account and hes a student, i went out again cuz it was really good so was hoping well go to another good place

    #1227550

    Naysberg
    Member

    The reason you went out again was because you were hoping to go to another good restaurant??

    #1227551

    iYid
    Member

    of course not. Just that he was a guy that didnt realize that women dont like to eat by themselves…. but now he knows better

    #1227552

    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    so your husband made an account for himself, and he’s a “student” (i.e. not in kollel) and now he gave the account to you and you have an “office job” (i.e. not a secretary) in jerusalem

    Ohhhhhh I seeeeeeeee

    #1227553

    aidel_maidel
    Participant

    iyid- good for you that you agreed to continue with him!!! i say the shidduch crisis has alot to do with people turning down dates for the dumbest reasons;)

    #1227554

    more_2
    Member

    aidel_maidel

    Member

    iyid- good for you that you agreed to continue with him!!! i say the shidduch crisis has alot to do with people turning down dates for the dumbest reasons;)

    POSTED 52 MINUTES AGO #

    What if the girl or guy is ten years older, or he spills tomato sauce on you during the date…. And the shadchan tells you, maybe he was nervous, give it another try…. Who has the dumbest reason here… The dater or the shadchan…. Lol. I dated many years ago.., however some of the issues today still are occuring along with more larger sophisticated ones…. The question is, is the shidduch crisis due to pple rejecting based on age differentiation… What is the problem with having large gaps in marriage?? B”h my husband and I are close in age…. But is it that terrible if the girl is say 25 and the boy is 22 or if the guy is a hefty amount of years older what could be the ramifications that a couple could potentially come to based on these types of factors???

    #1227555

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    more_2? Mods, for real?

    #1227556

    i love coffe
    Participant

    um, what did more_2 say bad? (please enlighten me)

    #1227557

    iYid
    Member

    yes being in kollel would be considered being a student and there are other office jobs besides secretaries.

    back on the topic…

    i was once out with a guy and he asked me about my vacation days at work. I told him and then he went on to explain that he has 2 weeks vacation but he isnt taking it yet because he really plans on getting married that yr… i was thinking to myself not with me

    #1227558

    more_2
    Member

    Was he only planning on taking off two weeks for the wedding???

    #1227559

    Naysberg
    Member

    You only need one week off for a chusuna and sheva brochos.

    #1227560

    iYid
    Member

    i wouldnt know since i didnt marry him

    #1227561

    esther 1995
    Member

    GUY is on a date with a horribly ugly girl ( cause he was told she is pretty and “with it” ect) they need to go down a floor in the lift… he says go in ….next min ah the door it shutting ill meet you down there and he runs off….!! haha sweet move

    #1227562

    more_2
    Member

    What about the honeymoon??

    #1227563

    mobico
    Participant

    Wow – I know a lot of stories that would fit right into this thread. Here’s one now. A friend of mine’s car broke down in the middle of a date. A date that had not gone well; they both knew that it was over. He called AAA, and they sent a tow truck. The driver was a VERY large – as in well over 300 pounds large – and jolly man. Well, he chuckled, there was nothing that he could do for the car. As it was at night, and in a pretty bad area, he did offer them a ride back. Feeling that they had no choice, they accepted. The tow truck had three seats – all in the cab. The driver took up most of them. And so they squeezed in, while maintaining distance as much as they could. The driver was a in grand mood. “So, you Jewish?” My friend grimly and monosyllabicly answered, “Yes”. “Well, I’m not Jewish. But I am circumcised!” The driver then went on to tell the hilariously funny story of just how and with what his father had threatened the surgeon if the circumcision would go badly. By the time they pulled up in front of her house, it was very late (this was before cell phones), and her entire family was worriedly outside waiting for them. They were therefore on hand to witness them spill out of the cab like so many circus clowns.

    #1227564

    bortezomib
    Participant

    first off- this thread ROCKS.

    I’d love to contribute- just from the other side- aka things that have come out of my mouth on dates that should not have.

    I was on a date with a verrry aidel and sweet boy. We had zero to say to each other, but we tried to maintain conversation valiantly, I assure you. In a feeble attempt to revive conversation, the boy said to me “Oh, so you’re taking chemistry, how is lab, do you do any cool experiments?”

    Of course I answered that we did, and what made it even cooler was the fact that often, we’d be working with toxic chemicals.

    “Yah,” I continued, “One time, a boy in my class spilled sulfuric acid on himself, and since it’s corrosive, my professor made him take off his pants!”

    Silence.

    <me mentally hitting myself>

    And then he says, “Ohh…uhh.. they don’t have a spare set of clothing for these people?”

    #1227565

    writersoul
    Member

    What about the guy who took a girl out to walk down the Riverside Drive path for two hours, subsequently spent another hour trying to find the car, and then got himself a drink and NOT the girl?

    Or the girl who brought her mother with her on a date? (She was locked out of her hotel room and had nowhere else to go. She made the boy take her shoe shopping.)

    #1227566

    more_2
    Member

    A friend of mine recently went out on a date, where the guy was emotionally unstable. He went from one second talking about how much he loves learning to telling her that when he was in yeshiva he was so depressed he couldn’t get out of bed in the morning with the knowledge that he had to learn the majority of the day. Then he proceeded to tell her how much he loves his mother more than anything in the world. Hello?

    He talked about his mother for half an hour my friend felt like she was going to pass out! Luckily he ordered drinks, but when they started drinking the guy started slurping repulsively to the extent that she was repulsed to finish her drink that the guy payed 7$ for, she felt bad but what could she do, she couldnt bring herself to drink since she was so repulsed the poor thing. Somehow The guy got the hint that she wasn’t going to finish her drink, he got up to daven mincha, when he reached for his iPhone to check mizrach, she could see the guy was shaking, she still not sure why he was, but anyhow as he was shaking his iPhone fell to the floor and cracked, poor guy! He was not only mortified, he was beyond anything you could describe!!! My friend being the lady that she is offered him her phone which he readily agreed! They ended the date by the guy saying to her that was real aussum! See you next time, he cheerfully calls out. No there was definitely no next time and

    No they did not go out again after that one!

    #1227567

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    more_2: I don’t find that story funny.

    #1227568

    more_2
    Member

    Why ever not?! Believe it or not I do feel bad for the guy more than my friend, but i still find it funny in a different sort of way;)

    #1227569

    Chortkov
    Participant

    my freind walked in with his wife to his best freind’s date with her best freind. they spent the whole evening laughing and having fun instead of dating!

    #1227570

    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    Laughing and having fun is what the first few dates should be. Though it shouldn’t be done with another couple, that’s a lack of tznius. I think that’s called a double date.

    #1227571

    Chortkov
    Participant

    not so funny – my uncle was mugged outside a fancy hotel by Heathrow on his date, were a group of arabs took his wallet, watch and phone. Not such an awe-inspiring moment! He married her, lol

    #1227572

    writersoul
    Member

    When my mom and dad were dating, my mom wasn’t living at home (she was already in her late twenties) and she had the shadchan calling her most of the time instead of her mom. So one neighborhood lady didn’t know that, so she called my grandmother to set my dad up with my mom. However, at the same time, my mom had agreed to go out with someone else ON THE SAME NIGHT! My mom and grandmother each only knew about one (my grandmother was going to tell my mom the day before, like they usually did, and my mom was going to tell my grandmother afterward).

    Then the other guy, the one my mom agreed to go out with, had someone bump into his car in Brooklyn or someplace, and by the time he got a chance to call my mom to apologize for missing the date, she had already gone out with my dad (after a bit of confusion and a looong explanation from my grandmother) and had agreed to go out again. Sooooo… as they say, it was bashert!

    Speaking of which, my dad got redt to my mom in the first place after my aunt (who had just moved to the area where my mom lived) was at a kiddush and was chatting with some neighbor. The neighbor mentioned “Do you know of anyone for my friend’s daughter, blah blah blah…” and my aunt mentioned “Oh, I have a single brother, blah blah blah….” and the rest, as they say, was history.

    Never underestimate the power of shidduch networking!

    #1227573

    dunno
    Member

    My friend went out with a guy who tried to convince her throughout the date that his grandfather’s stories from the Holocaust were better then her grandfather’s.

    Same guy said he’ll eventually go work but until then he’d like to be supported – he also added that he’s used to a very comfortable lifestyle now and doesn’t want to give that up.

    Both first and last dates…

    #1227574

    dunno
    Member

    Another friend of mine had a guy tell her he reads books on Christianity because he sees how many of their teachings apply to Judaism. She was thinking uhhhhh. And before anyone asks, he went to regular, run of the mill yeshivos.

    #1227575

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    So I called Dor Yeshorim to give in the numbers for my daughter. And the way it works is, that you input all the numbers into the automated telephone system, and then, they call you back some time later and you have to read off numbers again and they tell you the results.

    So I call, and give machine the numbers.

    They call back, and I miss call, because I’m busy or something.

    So I call back, but it just sends you straight to that automated system to reinput the numbers. So I hang up.

    The next day, they call me and say: you didn’t get the results, do you have the numbers now? But I was driving, so I don’t.

    DY Lady: Ok, so call us back when you have the numbers.

    Popa: But then it will just send me to the automated machine.

    DY Lady: And then we’ll call you back.

    Popa: …so just call me back…

    #1227576

    So I called Dor Yeshorim to give in the numbers for my daughter.

    Hatzlacha Popa!

    Please keep us all posted when you have an einekel… IY”H soon!

    #1227577

    Jimmy
    Member

    A Guy went on a date and when he walked into the hotel he saw this uninteresting girl sitting there he walked over and said ”I’m sorry my brother couldn’t make it” to which she replied ”my sister couldn’t either”…

    #1227578

    ZABACHUR
    Participant

    Just to start off, I read this entire thread from start to finish (very entertaining during class) and I think this is the greatest thread ever. Dr. Pepper has made many a boring class seem not so bad.

    Anyways, a story my friend told me: After much research and pushing by the shadchan he decided to go out with a certain girl. When he pulled up by the girls house there were 2 girls outside waiting for him. When they noticed the confused look on his face they said in unison “now you have to choose one of us and whichever one you choose that’s the one you have to go out with”. Not sure how long they were rehearsing this but he didn’t think it was very funny, but being the good sport he is he decided to play along. I guess he managed to somehow convey his lack of amusement at the situation and the girl he was supposed to go out with spoke up and they went out. Didn’t work out though.

    Idk, I think that’s pretty funny but he sure didn’t.

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