Funny Shidduch Stories

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  • #1226404
    an open book
    Participant

    lol

    this is funny what w/ asdfghkl’s blank post & the boreds at work(love how u put that, asdf)!!!

    #1226406
    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    ames: now that is funny!!!!!!!!!

    Joseph: why don’t u go first???!!!!!

    #1226407
    outoftowner
    Member

    ames, just wondering, why were you going out when you were in 12th grade? (Unless maybe I misunderstood the story)

    #1226408
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Ames thats funny!

    This isnt a shidduch story but…

    Today I was having lunch with a coworker and my boss. We were talking and I said “I really want to meet boss’s wife.” Both of them look at me funny and say “Did you just say you want to BE boss’s wife?” I was rolling on the floor laughing (not literally!)

    #1226409
    Joseph
    Participant

    like the Chasidim.

    #1226410
    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    SJSinNYC: ha ha sweet!!!!!!!!

    #1226411
    qwertyuiop
    Member

    SJSinNYC: haha, that’s embarrassing.$

    #1226412
    kapusta
    Participant

    this thread was getting dangerously near the bottom of the page…gotta do my duty to keep it on top…anyone got any more?

    #1226413
    anonymisss
    Participant

    kapusta, the chairpeople of the cr would like to thank you for doing your duty.

    ~a~

    #1226414
    kapusta
    Participant

    anonymisss that was the chairpeople doing their duty

    #1226417
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    Here’s one but it’s long and might be hard to follow. It’s also one of those stories where you have to see it in action to fully appreciate it.

    Two guys (both are engaged)- let’s call them Reuven and Shimon. Reuven being a guy that I know from high school and Shimon being a guy who was at that time my roommate in yeshiva.

    So I’m schmoozing with Shimon and he casually asks me where I went to high school. When I told him he asks me if I know Reuven. I said, “sure where do you know him from?” but he dodged the question.

    At Maariv that night I saw Reuven who tells me that he’s engaged to a local girl so he stopped by to visit. During the course of the conversation he asked me if I know Shimon. I knew something fishy was going on so I said “sure he’s my roommate come let me introduce you to him”. His face turned red and he begged me not to. He later explained that he went out with his kallah and just wanted to see “who she picked instead”.

    Later that night Reuven stopped by my room and introduced himself to my roommates to see who Shimon was.

    It was hilarious listening to the two of them talk, trying to figure out if the other one knew the whole story. At the end Shimon left convinced that Reuven didn’t know. As soon as he left Reuven picked up his phone to tell his Kallah who he just met…

    #1226422
    Phyllis
    Member

    I heard a story where a Yeshivishe boy took a girl to the top of the empire state building. As they were leaving a guy came over with his camera and said, “can i take a prtrait of the 2 of u, You take a look a the print and if u like it we will make u a 5 x 7 for $..” The boy was dumbstruck, he didnt know how to respond to taking a picture with a date, so he just stood quiet. The girl, seeing that the date was not answering, blurted out the dumbest answer she could think of at that second…”uh – individuals please.” They were both utterly humiliated afterwards and DID NOT get engaged. She claims this to be her most embarrassing dating story!!

    #1226423
    Belev Echad
    Participant

    phyllis, that is absolutely hysterical!

    #1226426
    yossiea
    Participant

    Why is that hysterical?

    #1226427
    Belev Echad
    Participant

    its hysterical because it is something very funny. and it is very funny, because when ur on a date and an unexpected situation comes up that causes you to say something dumb and have a huge awkward moment that afterward you laugh about, then that=funny.

    and that is my analysis.

    #1226428
    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper: i like like!!!

    #1226429
    myshadow
    Member

    Girl I know when on a boat ride and the guys yamulka flew off and he left his hat in the car. twas pretty awkward

    #1226430
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    This happened to the sister of someone I went out with.

    So the guy and girl are out on a date and quickly run out of things to talk about. They get up to walk around and he asks her if she was ever here before. She remembers being brought there a year before by a guy but couldn’t remember any details. He said he once brought a girl there but couldn’t remember who.

    Eventually they realized that they had gone out with each other the previous year and to the same exact place. They spent the rest of the date trying to remember who said no. (They couldn’t figure it out until she got home and checked her notes, buy at least they had something to talk about.)

    Sadly it didn’t work out. Maybe the third time around it will.

    #1226431
    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper- on what planet do you spin your wheels?

    #1226432
    kapusta
    Participant

    DR. pepper she keeps notes one her previous dates?!?!?!?!?! 🙂

    and theyre both still not married? 🙂

    #1226435
    outoftowner
    Member

    How could she not remember a guy she went out with a year ago…

    #1226438
    lovenlife
    Member

    This thread is hysterical!!! I love it!!!

    #1226440
    oomis
    Participant

    It takes a very special kind of person not to remember that she went out with someone before. They sound like they are made for each other. And what of the parents on both sides? Did they ALSO forget about this previous shidduch? Sounds very fishy to me.

    #1226441
    Phyllis
    Member

    outoftowner, I rememeber every boy i went out with, i dont see the big deal. not everyone dates 100 guys!

    #1226442
    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    areivim: you had asked me a few days back, when did the elevator story in terrace on the park happen!!! i had written, before the summer(0f ’08)!!! why did ya ask??????

    #1226443
    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    I don’t have as good memory as Phyllis. I think my subconscious wants to block out that part of my life 🙂 ;

    #1226444
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    areivimzehlazeh- Was that meant for “The Riddle Thread…”?

    kapusta, outoftowner, oomis1105- I left out details which I felt were not important.

    She did not do any research on this person before she went out with him. Her intentions were to do the research after the first date if there was a possibility of a second date which she eventually felt there was not. I don’t think it’s far fetched that after one year the only memory of him was a diary entry.

    As far as her parents are concerned- she is one of the youngest of a large family and when the name came up they thought it sounded familiar but weren’t sure if it was a mere suggestion for her or any of her older sisters, or if any of them actually went out with him (they don’t keep records).

    I doubt she’s the only one that keeps notes about her dates, I’ve heard of others who also do. (I personally never did.)

    The girl happens to still be single but I have no idea about the guy.

    Any other questions?

    #1226445
    mazal77
    Participant

    She checked her notes to see if they went out before?? I never heard of anyone who takes notes about their dates, unless she keeps a diary. Is she planning on writing a book on dating?? LOL.

    #1226446
    outoftowner
    Member

    I didn’t say how COULD they remember a guy they went out with a year ago….

    I said, how could they NOT remember a person they went out with a year ago.. I hear that in a year you could potentially forget the NAME of a person, but usually when you are face to face, you remember that you dated before… And what’s weirder is that it took them all the way to the hotel lobby to remember… Interesting…

    #1226451

    Ok, this is a dating story but, not a shidduch story. When I was super duper early in the conversion process, I was at an informal Friday night service meant to bring young people to an aging shul. I met this guy there and I wasn’t that interested but, I had been catching serious slack that I was too critical (and I really shouldn’t have been dating but, no one apparently asked the rabbi before pressuring me to date.) The date was bad enough as a whole. I just wasn’t interested. I think the guy was actually trying to impress me. He told me that on Shabbos, he’s a kohein so, he travels around to the different shuls to help out with the minyan. I already wasn’t interested so, I took this and ran with it. “You’re a KOHEIN???” sounding super shocked. “What do you think you’re doing? You can’t marry me and since you can’t marry me, why are you dating me?? Unless….” I put on the most horrified act when really I was doing the happy dance inside because I didn’t like this guy and I totally had an out. So, anyway he says, “No! No! No! I swear, I’m not like that. I’m a good guy.” I saw one of the (Owner? Mashgiach?) trying to keep a straight face. You really have to hear the “No! No! No!” It was so panicked. Nope, didn’t go out with him again but, I have run into to him about four more times always in the same part of Manhattan even though he is supposedly from Long Island.

    #1226452
    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    Michal bas Avraham: ha funny story!!! welcome to the cr!!!!

    #1226453
    qwertyuiop
    Member

    Michal Bas Avraham: ha, that’s funny.$ and on behalf of the CR=coffee room, chirpeople, board, and gang, i welcome you to the CR, head over to the “new members thread” for a proper welcome!!$

    #1226456
    Belev Echad
    Participant

    lol, cute

    #1226457
    oomis
    Participant

    Welcome, Michal.

    #1226458
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    Michal bas Avraham-

    Your story reminds me of one I heard from some one who I was in yeshiva with (I don’t believe it but you never know.)

    The shadchan tells him to meet the girl in a certain hotel or park (apparently it’s done like this in Eretz Yisroel, no first phone call- everything arranged by the shadchan). He’s there at the designated time and place but the only other person nearby is a lady with a shaitel. After a few minutes she says to him,

    “Are you Avraham?”

    “Yes”,

    “Well I’m Sarah”.

    His mouth drops open and she says, “The shadchan didn’t tell you I’m divorced?”

    He answered, “Well I guess she didn’t tell you I’m a Kohen”!

    The End

    Here’s another one from him which I also don’t believe;

    After meeting her parents he takes her to the car and opens the door for her. She reaches in, opens the back button, opens the back door and gets in. He shrugged his shoulders gets in the drivers seat and starts driving. He tries to talk to her but she doesn’t answer. He turns around to see what she is doing- she had found some seforim he left in the back and started learning some Chumash. He went around the block and brought her right home.

    This one I do believe-

    I met him a few years later and he says, “Guess what Pepper?”

    “What?”

    “I finally got married!”

    #1226461
    Princess123
    Member

    lol these stories are SO funny!!!

    heres one:someone i know was dating this guy for the first time. the guy came over to her house and was chatting with her parents. she comes down stairs and the guy takes out his guitar and goes “which song would you like me to play?” that was the first and last time she dated him.

    #1226464
    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    Princess- why? WHY didn’t she want to date him again? Don’t all girls go for that sorta thing… 😉

    #1226465
    Princess123
    Member

    he had his guitar with him when he came in and lol thats a really strange thing to do!

    #1226466
    Princess123
    Member

    ames: he had it with him the whole time-sorry i forgot that detail!

    areivimzehlazeh: i thought that was weird but she definately is the picky type so maybe thats why

    #1226467
    Jothar
    Member

    The divorced kohen set up with a divorced girl thing happened to a friend of mine. Don’t know how the dialogue went, but I’m sure this hting happens often, as divorced kohanim are thought of as divorced guys, not kohanim who happen to be divorced.

    #1226468
    22OldGold
    Participant

    areivimzehlazeh – No way that guy was just wierd.

    My friends sister was on a date and some random black dude asked her to marry him, it wasn’t planned. She didn’t marry the guy she was on the date with either.

    On the first date a guy asked this girl for her ring size. It seems he’s always asks for it on the first date and if things don’t go well then he returns it. Things didn’t turn out ok.

    A guy from Canada and a girl from some place where it never snowed met in Israel. One of there dates were when it snowed in Israel (many years ago). He called her up and asked her if she wanted to do Angels in the Snow. She thought it was a restruant or something. Little did she know. They did get married.

    We know this women who’s one of 18. When she was in Shidduchim the Shadchan called up her mother and redt her to her brother without realizing it. She has a common last name and ended up marrying someone with the same last name.

    All the above are true.

    #1226469
    Joseph
    Participant

    How could it not be a Kohein’s first question if the proposed shidduch is a divorcee (especially if hes divorced and can assume people may make such a mistake)?

    #1226470
    kiruvwife
    Member

    22oldgold-I want to get this straight-one of your stories seems to say that the shadchan redt a girl to her own brother? If that’s what you were saying that’s hilarious. if not please explain.

    #1226471
    moish01
    Member

    great shadchan. at least the families were the same type 😉

    #1226473
    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    Joseph-

    He was not a Kohein, nor was he divorced. He only said it to be excused from dating her.

    I did not believe the story at first until he said who the Shadchan was.

    22OldGold-

    There was a story about 8 – 10 years ago about a step- brother and step- sister (I think from Monsey) who married each other, but I don’t think there was a shadchan involved.

    #1226480
    oomis
    Participant

    Princess- why? WHY didn’t she want to date him again? Don’t all girls go for that sorta thing… 😉

    In my day, I did!!!

    Re:Marrying step-siblings, in my neighborhood a mand and a woman were married. After many years, husband’s mom was niftar, and a few years later, the wife’s dad was also niftar. Somehow, the surviving machetonim fell for each other, got married, and had a long and happy marriage until their respective deaths. The younger couple became each other’s step-sib.

    #1226481
    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    mad!

    don’t machatunim usually wanna kill each other? ;);)

    #1226483
    Joseph
    Participant

    They were step siblings, not half siblings. Each one had their own set of parents, none shared. So likely they did the traditional Jewish way of the father/father-in-law walking the Choson to the Chupa, and the mother/mother-in-law walking the kallah. Or they may have done the modern way of the father and mother each walking their child to the Chupa. Even then, no parent would walk to the Chupa twice.

    #1226484
    squeak
    Participant

    Look at our good buddy Joseph, always looking to stir up trouble even when he’s just making a logical observation. Way to go, Joe!

    #1226485
    kapusta
    Participant

    joseph what if, in a case like this the parents would be unable to walk their child down? the stepparents can wind up doing it twice, I would think =/

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