Funny Shidduch Stories

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Viewing 50 posts - 351 through 400 (of 1,423 total)
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  • #1226540

    moish01
    Member

    unless she doesn’t live at home anymore.

    #1226541

    aussieboy
    Participant

    Not that I know of (and knowing my sister not likely).

    #1226542

    aussieboy
    Participant

    ames: You do not understand. I never heard it from my sister haha i thought my sister said it but really i saw it here (maybe i did hear it from my sister too but i cant remember)

    #1226543

    an open book
    Participant

    lol ames but you just admitted to the same problem 😉

    #1226544

    anonymisss
    Participant

    ames, the cr is reality.

    ~a~

    #1226545

    an open book
    Participant

    ok

    #1226546

    squeak
    Participant

    since aussie and belev echad are the same person, as is everyone else in the CR, this doesn’t bother me at all.

    #1226547

    squeak
    Participant

    aussie, on the other hand, is sticking with his story. the second one, I mean.

    I just want to make sure everybody appreciated that line. ames, you are getting funnier by the minute – and perfect delivery!

    #1226548

    car
    Member

    one time this really frum girl who was from a very frum community in upstate, ny was on a date with a brooklyn yeshivish guy in manhattan. it was winter, and they were walking past macy’s and the girl was like ‘i really like all the decorations!! espcially the trees, and the warm colors, and blah blah blah” the guy wasn’t sure if she was being serious or not, and was like ‘really? and look at that rabbi over there! its so nice they’re pro-jewish’ the girl was so excited by this, she had the guy take a picture of her and ‘the rabbi’! with the guy, now realizing this was not a joke, was cracking up inside, took the picture.. when the girl got home and showed the picture to her family, you can guess what happened next… HA HA HA

    #1226549

    moish01
    Member

    squeak, how come you get to be the judge on humor when your days of glory are long gone?

    #1226550

    moish01
    Member

    oh ames, the art of delivering funny lines is not to crack a smile… (ok, sometimes you gotta let a tiny smirk pass so that people get dry humor…)

    #1226554

    kapusta
    Participant

    thank you ames :p

    moish there definitely is a certain talent to delivering a good joke, and part of it is what you said, unfortunate that you cant see facial expressions in the CR

    can someone explain the joke to me? went right over my head (and I could probably count on my fingers the amount of times I lost a joke

    #1226555

    aussieboy
    Participant

    Yeh ames, squeak. I didnt get it.

    #1226556

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    A little background first-

    The guy is the oldest child of an out of town family but was learning in a local yeshiva and dating a local girl. He likes the girl and her family but felt that she was not mature enough to get married (she was 19 or 20 at the time but, according to him, acted a couple of years younger).

    Before the next date he told the shadchan that he was going home for bain hazimanim but would try to plan something for the interim if applicable. For the date he asked her if she would like to go to a park and have a picnic. She liked the idea but mentioned that she is a vegetarian so he should please bring bagels and cream cheese.

    When he arrived home his family was all excited, they knew it “was going to happen” and decided to go to New York to buy new clothing for everyone for the upcoming wedding. He chose not to tell her that he was coming in to town since he didn’t know if he’d be able to fit her into his schedule and he wasn’t about to take her out in the family van.

    After a tiring day of driving around Brooklyn and shopping he decided to take his family to Kosher Delight for supper.

    Guess who’s eating a hot dog there with her friends?

    The guy leads his family in and they start oooing and aaahing as they never saw any Kosher restaurant that size before (did I mention that they are from out of town?). The girl notices the guy, starts to shriek and runs towards the exit. The guy was mortified but pretends he doesn’t know her and walks right by her towards the counter. He turns around to look for his family only to see that they are still standing in front of the door looking all around- still amazed at the size of the place. The poor girl was in tears by that time and could not get by his bewildered family to make her escape.

    She later called the shadchan and asked her to ask the guy if she can call and apologize. She did apologize for making a scene but she did not explain the vegetarian thing.

    (They are both married now but to other people.)

    #1226558

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper, that was an awesome story, in that while reading it, I forgot about the vegetarian and Kosher Delight paradox element until the last line where you practically spelled it out!

    My friends, THIS is how to tell a story!;

    #1226560

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    The guy didn’t either remember at first, being a vegetarian was a small detail she mentioned on the phone once.

    He only realized when he was trying to figure out what would have made her act like that in front of him and his family (especially if she honestly thought she was going to marry him). In general there is nothing wrong with being seen by your date and his family while eating with friends.

    If anyone out there knows her would you mind letting us know her side of the story?

    #1226561

    anon for this
    Participant

    Does KD sell vegetarian hot dogs?

    #1226562

    moish01
    Member

    anon, i never asked but i doubt it.

    #1226563

    Maybe she thought it sounds impressive. Unfortunatly, many pple lie on dates while trying to sound “better than who they really are”. I dont know who they think they are fooling.

    Well, I dont get the part about him thinking that she is immature. Looks like he was going for it anyways…I guess he was quite right, To make such a scene u have to be really immature!

    #1226564

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    Mrs. Beautiful-

    I wouldn’t quite say, “he was going for it anyways”. This was a major hesitation that he had. As he put it, “I felt as if I was babysitting my 8 year old sister”. However the shadchan and references reassured him that she is very mature albeit on the shorter side- therefore possibly giving off the impression that she is younger than she really is.

    On one of the dates they walked by a bank that was giving out Teddy Bears as a promotion for anyone who signs up for their credit card. She asked him if he could please sign up for one and get her a Teddy Bear- he could always cancel it later on. (She didn’t bring ID, lucky for him they were out of Teddy Bears and were giving out T-shirts instead but she didn’t want one.) The guy said he was thinking, “this is acceptable for my 8 year old sister, not a girl who is ready to get married!”.

    #1226565

    Dr. Pepper, wow that it is pretty immature…even if she really wanted that teddy bear she shouldve known better than to ask for it. Maturity is a very important thing in making life decisions, and girls or boys that are not mature sometimes have a hard time with shalom Bayis since they dont have the common sense to say or do the right things…

    #1226566

    Jax
    Member

    Dr. Pepper: your stories are always so entertaining!!! that’s for the entertainment!!!

    #1226567

    kapusta
    Participant

    asking for a teddy bear on a date is just stupid, no better word for it… how old did she want to come off as being? 🙂

    #1226569

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    I heard this one from a friend who said it happened to his roommate. I have no reason to doubt it.

    The guy and a girl decide to go to a ball game for one date. They look for a nice quiet section of the stadium so they could talk and watch the game and end up sitting on a bleacher about one foot away from each other.

    During the game the home team mascot sits down between them and puts one of his arms around each one of them. To their horror they looked up and saw their picture with the mascot wrapped around them being shown on the giant screen.

    (They did marry each other.)

    #1226571

    Dr. pepper-thats a good one

    #1226572

    kapusta
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper LOL! where do you come up with these? 🙂

    #1226573

    Phyllis
    Member

    Oh my Dr. Pepper that is so humiliating!!

    Mrs. Beautiful, I agree with you about maturity being an essential for marriage, I have this friend that tells me some stories about arguements she has with her husband, I fell bad that I cant advise her, since i think e/th stems from her immaturity.

    #1226574

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    kapusta-

    Originally I only posted stories that happened to me. When I ran out of stories that I was willing to repeat (and that the mods would be willing to approve) I posted stories that happened to friends. If I have doubts about the veracity of any story I tried to mention that.

    After the vegetarian story I thought I should post a story that all parties involved could laugh at if they read it here, so I posted the mascot story.

    Here’s one similar to the vegetarian story but with a happy ending.

    The girl asks the guy if he smokes. The guy’s a heavy smoker but she’s more important to him than cigarettes. He says, “I used to smoke but I quit cold turkey and haven’t smoked since”. He didn’t mention that he quit “cold turkey” 90 minutes before but he did give up smoking for good. They ended up marrying each other.

    #1226575

    Phyllis
    Member

    Oh that is so sly!!! If u want to know if a guy smokes u gotta ask info, dont try asking the guy himself!!!!

    #1226576

    anonymisss
    Participant

    Cold turkey doesn’t always work. When life gets stressful…..

    ~a~

    #1226577

    anon for this
    Participant

    Dr. Pepper, that’s a good story, but she was probably able to tell that he’d smoked recently.

    #1226578

    moish01
    Member

    yeah if he smoked just before the date he probably smelled like it. who cares, anyway? it’s a great story.

    #1226579

    aussieboy
    Participant

    anonymisss: Cold turkey is the only way everyone else goes back.

    Dr. Pepper: Did he stop smoking after they were married?

    #1226580

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    I always hear people making fun that when parents ask if a boy gets drunk on purim and they say “he did for 1 or 2 purim’s but stopped”- they crack up and say “yeah, he got drunk when he was in Israel and stopped when he came home for shidduchim and people started asking”- and this is the boy’s first purim back

    that was very convoluted- enjoy

    #1226581

    moish01
    Member

    oh god – what happens if you’re big on not lying? my wife’s gonna have to be someone with guts that all

    #1226582

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    moish- she’ll need more than guts 😉

    #1226583

    moish01
    Member

    ha you’re gonna make my shidduch in ten years from now?

    #1226584

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    why ten??

    #1226585

    moish01
    Member

    you think before that? you gotta be kidding! i need time to break all my bad “habits” and remember all the things i forgot that every 10 year old knows. in ten years i’ll be almost 27… and with the shidduch crisis in the other thread i’m sure there will be plenty of girls around. 😉

    #1226586

    aussieboy
    Participant

    moish01: Why do you need to wait until your bad habits are broken before getting married. (Never mind that there is always something to improve)

    #1226587

    anonymisss
    Participant

    aussie, you’re right, there’s always something to improve and it can be done after marriage. There are some bad habits that must be taken care of before, though.

    ~a~

    #1226588

    moish01
    Member

    like i said, they aren’t really habits. just things i do. not marriage material- though i know zero about marriage except for my parents and in moves (which is completely messed up) it’s a recipe for divorce, that’s all i can say.

    #1226589

    moish01
    Member

    sorry that was supposed to say “movies”

    #1226590

    aussieboy
    Participant

    anonymisss: Such as?

    #1226591

    anonymisss
    Participant

    Use your head, aussie. I believe you’re smart enough to figure it out.

    ~a~

    #1226592

    kapusta
    Participant

    by the l’chaim you find the similarities, after the sheva brachos you find the differences 🙂

    #1226593

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    kapusta, I mamish didn’t realize how obvious that is. How long are you married? Seriously, the point is to try to use some of the differences to benefit the marriage while trying to converge the others. Just like any other life form (plant, pet etc.) a marriage needs constant care to keep it going. With help from Avinu Shebashamayim, we should all merit happy marriages.;

    #1226594

    Belev Echad
    Participant

    my friend just went out on her first date and before they even entered the hotel, she slipped on something in the parking lot, banged into him on the way down, and they both fell. she was fine, he twisted his ankle.

    #1226596

    aussieboy
    Participant

    kapusta: I get it.

    #1226597

    skates
    Member

    Belev Echad…one word: OUCH!!!!!!

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