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Can everyone stop saying how their mother was taller then their father?! this is not 1930’s Europe. Lets be realistic and realize that times have changed. In 1930’s no boy asked for support. Maybe bring that up….
As for short girls….. I am single and over 6 feet and almost all the girls ive dated have been 5′ or 5’2. I prefer short girls. One shaddchen yelled at me that i MUST marry a girl 5’9 or taller because its not fair to them. I told her that I dont have to do anything. I have a preference of what I am attracted to.
So please let us be realistic. Do not lie about a persons height when on the first date they will see the truth.
I think we should make a list of shaddchanim that deal primarily with working boys.
popa_bar_abba: Respectfully, I disagree. Who decided that one boy gets preference over another to get married? Your accountant mashal is totally wrong. We are both coming for the same thing.
In terms of you couldve called two weeks ago etc, thats lame. Maybe I was ‘busy’ at that time.
My point is this. A shaddchen has every right to be busy. But to say that he is giving preference over the learning boys is just inexcusable. (If this is a shadd that exclusively deals with learning boys, then I understand. But this is not the case. This shaddchen deals with working boys too.)
Just to prove my point.
I have been trying to get through to a shaddchen for a week. Last night he finally answers the phone and this is what he tells me.
“The freezer just opened and I am too busy for guys like you now. When I have more time I will be in touch”. I am shocked!
No more words are necessary.
I think some people are missing the point of what I am trying to bring out. Its the attitude towards working guys that people look down upon. When I choose to leave learning full time and go to work, some people were SHOCKED! They said that I should ‘stick it out’ in yeshiva a few more months, get married, and then go to work. I am sorry but I am not trying to fool anyone. If I am not up to learning full time then, with the encouragement from my Rabbaim, I went to college and got a job. I believe hodulashem it the nail on the head. Stop trying to poison girls minds that they all need learning guys.
Maybe if the attitude can change that working guys are NOT second class, if would help the shidduch crisis a lot faster then the age gap issues.
Thanks everyone for the advice.
Just to prove a point. My sister went to seminary last year. In her application she had to write a four page essay about herself. I read through it. All she wrote was that she wants to go to sem and then support a husband who will learn in kollel etc. My question to her was, being that our parents do not have money to support, how will she get married unless she marries a rich boy? When shes back from sem at age 19, she will not have any degree and will get a 12/hr job. How will she support?
I remember my mother saying “This is what she has to say in order to get in. Otherwise no seminary will take her”.
With regard to shaddchanim, there are some out there that do work with working guys. But what disgusts me is the look on the face of a BMG shaddchin, when I tell him I am working.
Maybe I need to clarify what I mean. I know that there are girls out there looking for working guys. Its the shaddchanim that dont give us a second look. I have many stories where shaddchanim told me or my friends stuff such as, “I’m busy now because the freezer opens. Maybe in a few months when its a slow time for me Ill re-visit you.”
Then they wonder why I dont answer the phone when they call.
I have a few friends that recently got married with no job. Now it is a few weeks after marriage and they are STILL looking for jobs. They have no money for rent, gas, phone bills, etc. Not everyone can get a rich shver to mooch off. Be realistic and plan ahead.
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WOW!! I am truly shocked at some of the comments here. Some people are commenting that ‘you cannot be in a college and stay frum’. These are the same people that believe that no one should ever go to work. Until you actually took a course in a college you cannot make your assumption. Second, there are MANY from college programs such as COPE, TTI, ETC that offer a frum environment for Jewish college students. Tuoro College even offers separate classes for men and women. So to all those people that agree with R Altusky, your ignorance is awesome.
My second point is that once someone ‘makes it’ in the business world, the Yeshiva’s come running after them for money. Yes, the same Yeshiva that told him that he would never be frum because he went to college…..
Hes A HERO!!!
Anyone that Obama doesnt like is a HERO in my books.
I believe enough has been said.