Forum Replies Created
Dear iby I just want to take issue on one point that you made the claim that ADHD people are self-centered that is not true I’m sure there are some who are just like anybody else but ADHD people are judged to be self-centered because they do things differently and they know what works for them so they come off as being self-centered but if you take the time to understand where they’re coming from you will see that it is not self-centered at all
As some one with Adhd and have experience in dealing with kids who have Adhd the best advice i can give is if possible is to set up סוגיות. Where each סוגיא is self contend all they have to know is right there in front of them printing out מערה מקומות is extremely helpful these kids know exactly what the responsible to know and then they won’t get so overwhelmed.
A person with ADHD is only a victim if he’s not allowed to use the tools that are necessary for him to succeed be it his Rebbe parents or partner wife her husband
Thank you very much the problem is I have been going to a psychologist who has helped me with my ADHD and gave me the tools and ways to deal with it including medicine the problem is and the wife it’s not on board and after years of hurt it she wants nothing to do with me
I feel like a blind person who is told it’s not normal to use a stick to walk and is told I can’t accept the fact that you have a stick just be normal and take carpool etc like everyone else
Yes I understand the ADHD is not a excuse for bad behavior but it is an excuse for doing things differently like someone who’s hard of hearing can excuse himself if his rebbe refuses to let him sit up close so he can hear
Whose fault would it be that he doesn’t know the gemrah the rabbis for not understand that he can’t hear in the back or the kid for not being able to hear?
ADHD is a biological, neurologically based condition one that most often wreaks havoc in a person’s life if not treated.
To suggest that the struggles of those with ADHD are simply more of what everyone else encounters is both ignorant and hurtful.
I have adhd I was diagnosed as an adult I wish I would have known about it earlier medicine does not take away your creativity it just helps you focus on things that you want to do it helps me learn better listen to a shire without being distracted
The most hurtful thing someone can tell me is why can’t you just be normal I’ve been hearing that from everyone my whole life my wife thinks I’m crazy she thinks I’m an addict because I’m into things that’s what the ADHD brain does makes you passionate and it’s okay to be into things as long as you take care of your other responsibilities but people don’t understand and label you which leads to a terrible self-esteem which has been very debilitating for me
Has anybody know of anyone who can help me my wife doesn’t want anything to do with me and rabbnim I’ve been speaking to keep telling me just be normal and everything will be okay I don’t even know what that means oh please if anybody knows if anyone who could help me ill be appreciate it
כל המציל נפש אחד מישראל כאילו מציל כל העולם כולו
Based on a שיור i heard from rabbi yisral rissmen it would seem that its a form of עבודה זרה
Doesn’t the Or Emuna Energy have meany haskomos from rabbnim including Rabbi Benzion Y. Wosner?
The problem is trying to find something engaging to do with a 3 year old for longer then 5 minutes with out going crazy
Thanks for your help
Dear syag lchachmu I can’t tell you what happens to others I could just tell you what happens to me and how my brain works and based on 15 years of doing research on the topic you don’t trust me you can listen to the lecture by rabbi_mordechai_weinberger_keiravtuni-3-adhd_13_05_2016
He lays it out all very clearly and an ADHD person has a bunch of voices and their head and that calmed down by overstimulation That’s why they’re very good at any crisis and why they are subject to addiction but but unlike alcoholics who are you using alcohol to escape their life problems and ADHD person is using it to feel normal it was a great article in the amy about someone who was told he was an alcoholic and have to go to AA meetings but was not working for him and he was holding by getting divorce because his wife said she is an addict once he realized that it was ADHD and it was using the alcohol to be normal he was able to figure out otherwise to come his mind
They are studies now that they are trying to use computer games to help ADHD instead of Ritalin look into it you will be amazed now yes if you spend too much time on anything it is not good but if it helps you calm down and live a productive life otherwise or if it helps you listen to a shire while you are playing computer games which otherwise you would not be doing because you cannot concentrate because of what’s going on in your mind that’s called using computer games for the service of Hashem I can only say what works for me I guess everyone can decide for themselves what’s best for them thanks for your input sorry about the name calling I didn’t mean anything by it it’s just frustrating to be called crazy all my life I was just lashing out the sorry again
Dear always ask questions you are you are so right in general any game that you play together whether it’s sports racing teachers communication and social skills it’s hard to get kids interested in games that need too much thinking even though I love them but yes violent games that are over the top or games that have bad messages I definitely unappropriate and I would never think of playing an online multiplayer game I have a friend that I spent thousands of thousands of dollars on Make Believe items it can be very addicting but in general playing games on Nintendo etc. Is really not bad at all or a waste of money anybody who could spend $20 on a book that last maybe a couple of hours but then gets mad when a game plus $60 but last for many many many more hours is just not being rational to end off just like they’re a bad books bad board games they’re bad computer games good job at the parents is to make sure your kids and yourself play the ones that are appropriate
You you are so right when discussing a regular brain but when discussing in ADHD brain over stimulation is what it needs to be normal listen to the lecture or read up on Ritalin etc. A ADHD brain it’s constantly stimulated in order for the brain to calm down it needs to get overly stimulated to the point where the brain says okay this is enough and then calm down
If he does have a adhd one of the biggest problems with some one with adhd is the lack of internal motivation most people can do things just for the sake of making the parents happy but someone with ADHD needs a much higher motivation That’s what boring tasks are almost impossible to do is a very interesting share from “rabbi_daniel_kalish_the-most-successful-people-are-adhd” who explains how this works and according to rabbi kalish this is why ADHD people are always looking for ways to be my michadish making their marriage more exciting making their learning more exciting making their davning feel of more exciting the book praying by fire was written by somebody with ADHD as a tool to make his davning more exciting so If done right with the right partner you can motivate an ADHD person to do almost anything you just need a little bit of creativity and excitement reward programs are awesome especially for kids and even for adults and to the naysayers who say well then you just teaching them to always need rewards that’s like saying to a blind person who needs a stick to walk wow you’re teaching him that he would always need a stick well yes that is the way our brains work and we will always need external motivation the trick is to use the right external motivation and the best lesson you can give over to your child with ADHD is this point how do you use external motivation appropriately good luck
Sorry first of all I did not say that he said that playing computer games is okay for ADHD I said was that he claims that ADHD brains need extra stimulation in order to be normal so what might be overstimulating for some like going to amusement park or playing computer games someone with ADHD will find that relaxing and actually calm his brain
Ps i thought we we’re bashing oll computer games my mistake
Trying to listen to a shire is murder for me for my mind is all over the place but if i do it will playing mindless computer games like mario or tetris im actually able to concentrate
Dear uninformed listen to the lecture by rabbi weinberger on ADHD on Torah anytime and you will see that ADHD brain needs extra stimulation in order to relax that is what the medicine does and that’s what computer games do by overstimulating the brain you create a sense of calm that’s why fidget tools work so well with someone who has ADHD
Chess can be addictive and depending on your chess set can have avodah zerah or themes that are unappropriate so it’s really your choice to pick and the whole concept of chess is war there were kings who playd with real people so as with anything you can abuse it or use it to help yourself serve Hasem better
Computer games when done right is a great tool to bound with your kids or relax no different then chess or any boardgame give it a try you’ll be surprised
Thanks for the advice im taking extended release I can’t take it too late because then I cannot sleep at night so I take it early in the morning before daving
My psychiatrist seems to think that it’s normal to run out by 7:00 or 8:00 if you know of a better medicine please let me know right now I’m taking Adderall XR
Thanks for all the support my medicine does work for the day by the time I get home it wears off and she’s late at night around 7:00 to 8:00 and yes it will be great if my wife would understand but she thinks I’m just mentally ill and an addict so yes it’s very hard to feel good about myself knowing that that’s what she thinks of me thanks again for all the support
You’re right about the nature of certain video games but to call them immature and juvenile is just being uninformed for most gamers are not children but adults it’s like saying sports are juvenile you personally may not like it or enjoy them but a lot of them have a great deep chucmah and it helps exercise your brain especially with someone with ADHD if done right could be a great tool in service of Hashem
When discussing this with my rov he told me that Hashem made video games so that we can enjoy them just like anything else you made it in this world for us to enjoy if done right and not abused it’s a great way of relaxing
Just wondering why would you play games like L.A. Noire which is rated M not just for violence when there are so many appropriate games out there?
Thanks for all you input i do take adhd med it helps with my learning but i still can’t sit through davning without going crazy or watch my kids for more than 5 minutes unless I’m doing something that’s very stimulating like playing computer games with them which drives my wife crazy.
Its very hard to love yourself when you’re constantly being put down
The problem becomes when the Rabbi tells you to be normal to look at what your neighbor does and do what he does because that’s what your wife needs how are you not supposed to feel bad about yourself knowing that I will never be able to be my neighbor I can only be myself
Im taking about after 10hr+ of learning to take a break and relax just like some people play sports act. I like to play games it helps my ADHD brain and the pluse side you can listen to torah tapes will your playing
Your attitude is the ideal but one has to be holding there i have seen to many people who went overboard and lost it all hatzlacha
It depends why you play some for some people it helps them get they’re mind off depression but someone with ADHD it helps keep your mind focused just have to make sure it doesn’t take over your life but to use it healthy as brake or as a motivation to do things that you must do which are very hard it could be a great tool
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was an adult by then after hearing constantly how lazy and unproductive I am my self-esteem was totally ruined and by now I’m in a deep depression and my marriage is totally falling apart if only we had the tools when I was younger to be able to deal with it in a healthy way life could have been so much better
Ps does any body know of any support group for ADHD in The frum community or somebody I can reach out to to save me