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Have any friends that instant message? You can play a game with them!!!
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hereorthere: you asked a question, I was just replying to it. I wasn’t trying to target you in any which way.
hereorthere: how about couples learning some good communication skills?!?!?!?!
It’s an attitude that she has the problem NOT ME!!!
hereorthere: clarified!
youdontknowme: I wish that would be reality, but it’s unfortunate that it doesn’t work that way! The girl gets rejected much quicker than being given time to open up.
youdontknowme: maybe it works hand in hand, the mother ‘finds out’ she’s quiet informs the boy so by the time they get out on their date he’s completely convinced she’s quiet and it’s not for him. As appose to giving the girl just a little more time for her to be more open!
hereorthere: itiswhatitis I ‘am’ an older single.
Is this a question or a statement?
As for your question: I never said anyone messed themselves up nor did I say that it’s our fault. Being in the situation that we all are in, the question still remains how will a person grow – will it be for the good or take the turn and use his powers for the bad?
hereorthere: my statements were about older singles nor did I mention once about agunos.
dunno; we lose site of our goals unfortunately!
Speaking about myself, I’m what they call an ‘old single’ and have earned the name as a quiet girl! I’ve gotten loads of names turned down, why? Simply because they won’t give me an extra chance to open up when they can accomplish it much quicker with someone a little more talkative.
The only difference between me and them is the time frame of opening up, it may take longer with me than a louder girl….
Is it really true those that are louder open up quicker and are more truthful? I have my strong doubts!
Shidduchim are in the hands of the one above, that’s what it all boils down to!!!
Honestly, I’m not strong because if I was then I’d call my therapist and tell her about my severe issues that I’m having but I’m to scared to do so:(
happiest: Don’t keep it within yourself, call your therapist and them her what’s bothering you. Seeing a good therapist everything eventually will come out, so why wait till it comes out from the back door… Discussing it with her will help you take the load off your shoulders plus come up with some solution how to avoid/solve the problem! True you need the chizuk right now in every which way possible, but having this on your shoulder will definitely be a stumbling block to making you stronger! Just keep in mind, you’ve come this far – that means you are very capable, besides the fact that you are a strong person!!! Be strong, you can do it!!!
They had it on yesterday, thought he took it down this morning, don’t see the link. Happen to like it so far – from the hour that I heard yesterday!
Gezuntheit – I agree with you, it started out as a therapy discussion and then somehow landed up in a genetic disease discussion. I think we should go back to the original posters opening discussion!
I think all of you posting should sit back and think for a few minutes before posting your two cents. I hope you all realize that people could be going for therapy for all sorts of reasons, from simple things as needing professional advice on certain minor matters that not always could parents offer that, to needing therapy for being physically, sexually, and or emotionally abused. So yes if someone is going or went for therapy for being abused then they would want their spouse to know, but if someone went for professional advice yes I reiterate again advice that they were unable to get from their parents, then why is it something that they should want to say while they are dating? I see no importance to informing your date nor will they really understand your intensions for doing what HAD TO BE DONE! The problem really is the stigmas that our community tends to attach to people that went for therapy. How many understand what therapy is all about, some do have unfortunate abuse cases, but for most its advice that many times a person will refuse to hear when it comes from the family and that is really the reason people would want to refrain from saying during the shidduch.