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**bump**
Yup thanks mods. Loved seeing the Belzer Rebbe, Reb Chaim, and the others. Inspiring. Thanks!
Yes please invite her for Shabbos! Together with another friend of yours, so she’ll meet more people and it will be easier, less intense. Invite a few more friends round for Shabbos lunch or afternoon…just do your bit, you never know how much it could turn her life around for the good, if she makes friends, her self esteem will increase…who knows how much she could improve then. Good Luck, Hashem will help you!!
Goq, I crack up at your posts sometimes, I love your sense humour, thanks for making me laugh!!!
By the way, it goes without saying that woman will only want to do any of the above though when she feels loved, appreciated, cherished,….flowers, chocs, books, being taken out to dinner, phonecalls during the day, whatever she likes. When she feels good, hopefully that goodness expresses itself into making a nice home..And of course Daven for siyatta dishmaya!!
I only drink after a fast (which finishes late in the evening). I dont eat anything. I drink cold/room temp water, a coffee, hot chocolate, pureed soup, all easily digestible. This way I fall asleep easily. I wake up the next day hungry but BH I feel good this way. Good luck
This is a very difficult issue. That is why the Torah considers the mitzva of Kibbud Ov veim very seriously & promises those who keep it a big reward; the Torah acknowledges it is not easy! I sympathise with you, I know you want your freedom to BE and not have your mom patronise you, annoy you, and hold you back from what you want to be doing. At the same time you sound like you WANT to succeed in this & do the right thing. A few points: look at this situation as short term. One day you will be married and have your own life, your Mom will not be able to treat you like she does now. Short term you have a massive mitzva, an opportunity in front of you to honour & respect your Mom and do what SHE wants, & to please her. Who knows, in a few months you could be married and out of her house, and your obligation will be to your husband first, your chance for kibbud eim in this way will be finished. So try make the most of this time. Also, if she treats you like a baby just mentally ignore it. Youre still free to go out and do your own thing, dont let her attitude get to you. You have to let your ego go and put your Moms interests at the front of your mind: try to make her happy. Maybe she will relax a little when you put down the ‘fight’ mode and are agreeable to her. Then she might loosen up a bit. Bend your pride and play her game, try to please her. Keep trying!! It is maddening, I do understand! It is your test from Hashem…I hope He will reward you very well for your efforts, good luck!!
Take a summer job now. Work as much as possible and when she gets to Israel will have a sizeable amount of $$ to spend on going out and having fun. Its so worthwhile
Take a blanket/throw to put over your bed as everyone comes and sits on your bed
A rug to put on the floor next to your bed
A mirror you can put on your bookshelf next to your bed or hang up in your room
Long skirts, thin clothes, its hot…
A list of people you can call to stay at them for Shabbos, you will need this when you get there!!
A bag for your stuff for when you go away for Shabbos
A warning that contrary to all the hype, Sem is not 100% of the time ‘AMAZING’ like people say it is, there are good days, great days, but some days are ‘ok’ and some days may even be bad, its normal, overall the experience is amazing but be prepared for some normal, ok ish times too
Do a fake tan so when your makeup wears off your not left looking too pale. When you apply your makeup do foundation & eyeliner, wait a bit, and then do another layer of each on top.
Bobbi Brown long wear gel eyeliner lasts well.
When youve finished applying the makeup, spray hairspray over your face and neck (from arms length distance). (Ive never had a problem doing this so please dont start posting its unhealthy etc etc. If you dont want to do it, dont!! But some of us are fine with it!!!)
Satin pillow case. And sleep on your side with your face on the edge of the pillow, not your whole side of your face pressed into the pillow otherwise it will all come off!! Good luck !!!
smartgal & No one mourns the wicked you are both AWESOME!! Yesssss you have defined for me why I always feel guilty after going on FB, besides for always feeling like I just wasted so much time. OK thats it I will try now never again 🙂 For those of you who arent FB users, KEEP YOURSELF CLEAR OF IT!!
Ok thanks…anymore answers anyone?!
Yup, nice guy, special person, posted me such good advice on my thread: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/how-to-cope-spiritually-emotionally-seeing-a-loved-one-suffer
Thanks AYC! Would you tell us more about yourself? Education you had?