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  • in reply to: Kids or teens who leave the Shabbos table to go read… #709415

    I’m referring specifically to kids over Bar Mitzvah 15 year olds to be precise who are not “troubled” and are in regular yeshivos..

    The kid is “hooked” on the book he is reading and leaves the table. We don’t have a shlepped out meal for the most part. There’s a little singing a little Torah a little shmoozing we don’t sit there for hours like some families.

    Should parents of such a boy say something? What should they say?

    in reply to: Italy Town Says No to Miniskirts #703630


    We should be dan lkaf zchus maybe girls just dont know anatomy these days and they dont know where the knee is.

    in reply to: Self Esteem #711019

    holy brother

    No I mean the act of working on oneself, changing and becoming a better person will give a person more self esteem.

    in reply to: New Members? #900640

    I think that the more the merrier. It would be great if we had a nice selection of males and females from all walks of Jewish life and various locations as well.

    in reply to: What does it take to be a ben torah? #704117


    “Actually, the people I know who got rid of their TVs are only a few years older than I, and did it maybe 2 years ago.”

    Ok fine. Thats impressive, but they still shouldnt have had it to begin with. It has no place in a Torah home.

    All I want to say is that a person has to be honest with themselves.

    I dont like being negative, but people today are all about fooling themselves. They talk frum look frum…but they arent. What a person does behind closed doors is the true measure of who they are and their real frumkiet. If a guy wears the yeshivish clothing, goes to yeshivah, passes himself off as mister frum but he watches dvds in his house (on a regular basis I dont mean one a year) hes a faker. Same for the girls. This also applies to non Jewish music, magazines, novels, and other secular media…

    A Torah house is a sanctuary. Its a mikdash miat. A mini beis hamikdosh. If someone brings the filth of the street into his/her home, that home is not a Torah home.

    “I said so many times that I DO NOT want TV/Movis in my house. I also mentioned in a different post (a while back) that I want my children to grow up with every advantage both materialistic AND (more importantly) spiritual, this means alleviating any doubts I may have had from the get go. I want them to grow up in a house where they are ALWAYS sure where they have NO doubts and where they are always excited to be a Yid. I know that may seem ideallistic, but that is my dream.”

    You said this on another thread. Well its a beautiful dream to have but if you want your kids to be excited about being a Yid, the only way to do that is for you to be excited to be a Yid and anybody hooked up to secular culture isnt very excited to be a Yid and will not be able to give over such excitement to a child. Kids are very keen and they pick up on what their parents care most about. You can preach Yiddishkiet to your kids, but if your actions in any way are not in accordance with what you preach they will see you as a liar, a hypocrite, and they will lose respect for you and the message.

    Bottom line. Its gotta be real and that requires sacrifice.

    in reply to: Staying in Beis Medrash vs. Getting a Degree #699509


    Your question is really beyond the scope of the YWN coffee room. If you have a Rav or Posek who you ask your sheilos to, then maybe he should be asked regarding what’s best. Or find an appropriate Rabbi to discuss this with, maybe even your sons Rosh Yeshivah (if he has a reputation of being reasonable and openminded).

    in reply to: Should Girls Learn to Drive? #699454


    If someone lives as they should there’s nothing to hide and no reason to want to be absent from Jews. Not saying you specifically…

    in reply to: What does this mean, its a quote from the Kotzker. #699368


    That’s a good one as well. His sayings are all really deep and powerful messages.

    in reply to: Do they teach girls how to cook in Seminary? #700391


    Since when are all Seminaries “Teachers Seminaries?” Besides for Hadar and BJJ most Seminaries are geared towards regular future mommys. They should teach less Ramban and more useful things that they need for marriage like cooking and housekeeping skills.

    Not everybody has or can afford a live in maid!

    in reply to: Should the caveat ask "LOR" be obsoletd? #698822

    LOR is fine, if he doesnt know he wont pasken and he will tell you who does know and who to call, my Rav is a big posek but there are certain topics that he isnt the most knowledgeable in and for those shailos he tells me who to call.

    in reply to: Shidduchim, What do girls look for in a boy? #700819


    Exactly, thats how its supposed to be read heavy female chassidish accent, it really makes me laugh! 🙂

    in reply to: Shidduchim, What do girls look for in a boy? #700817

    BP Totty

    I am a shtark working boy I just dont have a real clue about girls. I am not in yeshivah but am not anti and would be open to learn a year or so. Im not at all unrealistic and do work hard to make money, I dont expect my shver to support me although I do hope he will help out at least the first few years and continue to be generous down the line. But no Im not looking for a father in law or girl to support me.

    To member Ofcourse

    I used that name because I find it funny when I hear girls (usually more chassidish) say it. Maybe it wasnt the best id choice.

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