A Life-Changing Discovery Recently Featured in Mishpacha’s Rosh Hashana Edition

Mishpacha Magazine recently published this eye-opening feature about Guard Your Eyes and the revolutionary methods they’ve developed to help people succeed with shmiras einayim in today’s unprecedented digital age.

Guard Your Eyes is currently running its annual campaign to sustain this unique, one-of-a-kind work that no one else in the Jewish world knows how to do. Through anonymous support, cutting-edge programs, and a network of trained mentors, they’re providing hope and real solutions to people who thought change was impossible.

To support this sacred mission—and discover more about how Guard Your Eyes is changing lives—visit Charidy.com/GYE.

Our generation is being tested with temptations that previous generations never faced. The internet has created unprecedented kedusha challenges for frum Jews across all walks of life. From successful businessmen to young bochurim, and everyone in between, many struggle with maintaining healthy online habits. And often, what keeps people stuck isn’t the struggle itself.

The fear of reaching out for help.

To understand how people can break free and master Shmiras Einayim, we spoke with Shmuel*, the Mentor Coordinator at Guard Your Eyes, an organization that has helped tens of thousands succeed. Founded by Yaakov Nadel and Yechezkel Stelzer with guidance from Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski zt”l and יבלחט”א Rav Aharon Feldman shlita, Guard Your Eyes has developed cutting-edge, research-based approaches that are fully aligned with Torah values.

Shmuel’s own journey began three years ago when he first posted on the Guard Your Eyes forum. Today, Shmuel’s role involves helping people find the right mentor for their specific situation, while also mentoring many individuals himself. His insights reveal both the barriers that keep people trapped and the surprisingly effective solutions that can transform lives.

“Think for a second—what’s holding someone back from reaching out?” Shmuel asks. “I would say it comes down to three core fears that are real for everybody.”

Fear #1: Will I be understood? “People need to know that the person they’re talking to truly gets their struggle. They’ve been carrying this burden alone, often for years. The relief of finally speaking to someone who really understands, without having to explain or justify, is tremendous.”

Fear #2: Will I be accepted? “There’s a terrifying fear of being rejected or judged. People worry: ‘What will this person think of me?’ At Guard Your Eyes, acceptance is fundamental. Members consistently tell us they feel completely accepted, no matter what they share.”

Fear #3: Will I be respected? “This might be the deepest fear. People don’t want to be seen as broken or pathetic. They need to know they’ll be treated with dignity. That’s why our three key words are: understood, accepted, respected.”

Guard Your Eyes also addresses these fears by making the platform 100% discreet. “Joining Guard Your Eyes is free, anonymous, and secure,” Shmuel emphasizes. “You can get the full benefits of the platform without anyone knowing who you are.”

Some people hesitate to seek help because they fear that reaching out means labeling themselves as an addict. “The truth is that the vast majority of people who come to us, do not have an addiction,” Shmuel points out. “Even people who have been struggling for years are usually dealing with habits that developed as coping mechanisms; it’s their way of dealing with stress, loneliness, boredom, or family pressures. We do have a special department to help those who are dealing with addiction, but those cases are relatively rare.”

The Secret to Success: The 3 Pillar Program

Despite tens of thousands of success stories, it remained unclear why some people did not succeed despite putting a lot of effort. This past year, Guard Your Eyes solved this puzzle by developing a new model, based on 18 years of experience, that identifies the three essential elements for lasting success. “We call it the 3 Pillars,” Shmuel explains. “Like the legs of a tripod, these three pillars work together to create stability: Motivation, Planning, and Connection. If any one of them is weak, it becomes much harder to sustain success.”

Pillar #1: Motivation. “This means making growth in inyanei kedusha a true priority. You need clarity about why this matters—for your relationship with Hashem, for shalom bayis, for personal wholeness. We offer resources to help people discover their personal ‘why’ and maintain inspiration.”

Pillar #2: Planning. “Knowledge alone isn’t enough. You need a clear, practical plan for exactly what you’re going to do when challenges arise. We provide interactive courses for learning effective strategies and developing personalized action plans.”

Pillar #3: Connection. “This is our most unique pillar, and definitely the hardest to find anywhere else. Maybe impossible. It’s easy to change for a few days, but to really master this and persist for the long term, you need to connect to people who understand. You need supportive friends and mentors.”

The comprehensive nature of Guard Your Eyes’ approach is reflected in stories like that of one member who recently marked his second time reaching a full year clean:

“I came to GYE because I needed to kick bad habits of 20 years, and I’ve achieved that and so much more. That freedom came through GYE’s amazing tools and the tremendous wisdom shared via the Forum. But what made it stick was doing what seemed like the hardest thing I ever had to do: reach out for help. I sat in my car, terrified beyond belief, and dialed a mentor’s number. That mentor, along with many other GYE friends I later connected with, helped me get to where I am today. I sign off with tremendous gratitude to everyone here and Hashem Yisborach for helping me achieve what once was only a wishful dream, a life of מנוחת הנפש.”

The mentors at Guard Your Eyes are truly special people—angels who volunteer jaw-dropping amounts of time to selflessly help others. They’re extremely effective because they really understand, from their own experience, how it feels to struggle and what it takes to break free. As another member put it: “GYE gave me the incredible opportunity to reach out to and receive from the most caring, validating, accepting mentors. You do not get this opportunity anywhere else on the planet.”

Shmuel prefers the term “supportive friend” over mentor. “The key to helping is care, love, and respect. When you believe every person has value, they feel that. That’s more powerful than any technical tip.”

Changing Perspectives, Changing Lives

The mentorship focuses on crucial perspective shifts:

Changing self-perception: “People feel: ‘I’m a failure, a loser, Hashem hates me.’ We teach: No, you are a wonderful person who does many good things. The vast majority of your day is positive. Don’t define yourself by failures.”

Normalizing urges: “Urges are normal. There’s nothing wrong with having them. When you can be calm about urges, you can think more clearly. Panic leads to impulsivity.”

Understanding triggers: “Identifying emotional triggers is crucial. Most people need simple coping strategies, such as sharing with a friend, exercise, and engaging in enjoyable activities. Most don’t need a therapist, just someone who cares.”

The results speak for themselves. “I went to good yeshivos, was top of my class, dreamed of going into chinuch, sat in kollel for years,” Shmuel shares. “But my struggle grew gradually until it became serious. On November 24, 2022, I posted on Guard Your Eyes for the first time.”

“In that first post I wrote, ‘I wish I could talk to someone about this, but of course I never could.’ Boy, was I wrong about that. Joining Guard Your Eyes was truly life-changing.”

The transformation extends far beyond the initial struggle: “Over almost three years, this journey, with friends and Hashem’s help, has changed me deeply—as a human being, in happiness, respect for others, and ability to give back.”

Perhaps the most powerful testament to the program’s effectiveness is what happens next: many who find healing become mentors themselves. “The success is so great that these same people actually turn around and become mentors, changing other people’s lives, giving so much of their time and koach.”

“At the end of the day, people want to know: ‘Is Guard Your Eyes for me? Is it safe? Will it work?'” Shmuel reflects. “The answer is yes. Again and again, people report: this changed their lives, their Torah learning, their marriages, their happiness.”

For those wondering whether Guard Your Eyes might be relevant to their lives, Shmuel’s message is clear: “You’re not broken, you’re not alone, and with the right support and strategies, meaningful change is not only possible—it’s probable.”

To learn more about Guard Your Eyes and its resources, visit GuardYourEyes.com.

*Name has been changed to protect privacy.

Two Ways to Make a Difference:

If you could use the help Guard Your Eyes provides, visit GuardYourEyes.com—remember, it’s completely free, anonymous, and secure.

If not, please consider supporting GYE’s sacred work at Charidy.com/GYE. Your partnership enables thousands of Yidden to find freedom, wholeness, and renewed connection to Hashem. It’s a tremendous zechus before Yom Kippur.