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    phewwww! And theres a woosh of breath being let out.

    Yeah, there are a few people who know who i am here…

    just my hapence

    Just to keep this thread going, I’m putting this up:

    All the Fallen Trees

    Down in the old wood,

    Evergreen, everglade, the old trees stood.

    Tall and proud and mighty in knotted trunk,

    In bough, in branch, in canopy like cowl of monk.

    Shade in the old wood;

    Dark, damp warmth where the old trees stood.

    A meeting place where skylark sings and robin nests,

    But plague, wooden strife,

    Hollow, empty, nothing though external life.

    Trees wither on the inside; they do not know

    The might and pride and leafy shade are but a show.

    Thus comes the woodsman,

    Short, sharp knock and he understands.

    The axe chips, the axe fells, the axe gives no care

    To who was taller, wider or whose leaves more fair.

    All the fallen trees,

    Leaves and branches rustle in the rippling breeze,

    Still waving at tomorrow that has been and gone;

    A wasted opportunity to be someone.


    too deep for me to follow actaully. sorry.

    sighhhhhhhhhhhhh, here comes the big D…

    just my hapence

    SM – It’s about externality and how some people spend so long just doing the things they think they have to do and being who they think other people want them to be that they never actually end up knowing who they themselves are.

    🍫Syag Lchochma

    Oh gosh, jmh, I read it so differently. I thought of it as a mighty tree who was withering inside (perhaps from pain and stress) but all looked at her/him as a mighty tree until death overtook her/him and people found out how empty she/he was inside and how they missed the chance to help because they were disillusioned by the externality.

    (Darn, I think I just gave myself away)


    thanks for explaining! I was also thinking along syag’s lines, but i didnt think of the chance to help part, and i thought i must be missing the meaning.

    just my hapence

    Hey, feel free to read it how you want…


    Oh my gosh,

    this cannot be,

    I scream NO!,

    I shout no,

    but the vast emptiness echoes my cries,

    the darkness of death,

    it stares me in face,

    it looks me in the eye and says YES!

    I said no.

    I told you NO!

    You couldn’t take them.

    I held onto them for dear life,

    and you untangled their life from my grip.

    you stole them.

    you evil monster.

    i said NO!

    You didn’t care.

    (person who died), I’m sorry! I wish you hadn’t been slipped from my grip! I wish you would’ve lived a longer, healthier, and happier life!and I’m sorry for wronging you so much. Rest In Peace


    🙁 sending a hug


    wrote this originally as a poem…now it’s a song 🙂

    waves crashing on a

    rock-ridden shore

    sharks surging through the

    dark ocean floor

    danger lurking

    date unknown

    tide rising



    then a

    sailboat of splendor

    rising high above the

    frothing seas

    no white flag of surrender

    holding strong

    you cruise with ease

    toss a life vest

    out to me

    safe aboard

    you’ve set me


    not alone

    you’re by my side

    and when I fall

    no need to hide

    not alone

    safe and free

    knowing you

    are there for me

    whoaah, sailboat of splendor

    rising high above the

    frothing seas

    no white flag of surrender

    holding strong

    you cruise with ease

    sailboat of splendor

    rising high above the

    frothing seas

    no white flag of surrender

    holding strong

    oasis of calm

    my sailboat of splendor

    just my hapence

    On the subject of the sea (also written originally as song lyrics):

    Heaven’s Ocean

    Standing at the world’s edge, watching, as the crystal waves

    Shatter on the uncompromising sand,

    Bringing the haughty foam down to its knees, pleading for mercy

    Even as the last flecks die an ignoble death.

    Every tear that rolls off my cheeks, finds its final resting place

    With its salty brethren, but its soul soars heavenwards,

    Adding a drop, single and pure,

    To heaven’s ocean.

    And the ghost-ships of emotions long dead

    Sail those briny depths, wandering forever, crossing waters

    That have been crossed a thousand times before

    By a thousand broken hearts, yet each one is alone.

    All of them go in the same direction, for the only way is up,

    Because with every true tear that falls, the wave rises,

    Until it gains the strength to push its way through

    And to break on the shores

    Of Heaven’s ocean.

    And enter Paradise.


    shnitzy- that was really nice, and beautiful message. Welcome!

    Jmh- now THAT is a song i want to hear. That was amazing, the emotions hit me. Sometimes you just have to hear that your tears really do go somewhere and matter. Thanks for sharing, just when i needed.

    just my hapence

    SM – my chavrusa wrote the music for that, and unfortunately I can’t remember it. Anyone with any musical inclinations here is free to see if they can do anything with it…


    middlepath, i think that was a call for you!


    Thanks, SaysMe.

    just my hapence, it’s a really nice poem. I don’t have much free time these days (which is a good thing), but I’ll see if I can put that poem to some music.

    just my hapence

    It was a veiled hint to NAS, actually. But if middlepath thinks they want to have a pop, gezunte heit.


    not posted for a bit – here is something I wrote a few years ago. I love going to the park and my favourite time of day is just before dusk, when it’s almost empty…

    I sit by the lakeside

    Nature at its best

    A cool breeze ripples the water

    And ruffles my hair

    Another answers.

    Ducks play in the water

    A mouse scurries

    I see a mother pushing a pram

    Hear a child laughing

    These moments are precious

    To just sit here and watch

    The sky on the horizon beginning to turn pink

    Two birds race across the twilight sky

    The clouds are tinged with orange

    Trees rustle gently

    Its music vibrates through me

    I am lost in its song

    Here, in this twilight moment

    Sitting by he lakeside

    Return to life and its challenges

    And in my mind I will return to this moment

    This calm and tranquil state of mind

    Sitting by the lakeside

    just my hapence

    NAS – I think I remember that one from a few years back. If I’m honest, not amongst my favourites. The brush-strokes are a bit too broad for me…


    ah, another musician among us! Well then, nas, go for it! 🙂

    i rly like ur poem. But maybe i’m just biased cuz i love sitting in the empty park just letting the nature touch me, and watching and listening. Nahhh, i still like the poem 🙂


    blabla: hug…… nothing else to say.


    You think you understand

    The rhythm of a heart.

    A dead pulse locked

    Within a disordered

    Mess of tubes

    Running in all


    🍫Syag Lchochma

    blabla – I am so sorry.


    puppy- maybe not understand, but can try, can care, can sympathize and empathize. But no, noone may ever fully understand,bu can get close


    SM – I LOVE music. I sometimes think that it’s a part of me, without music I wouldn’t be able to express myself as well, or let out my frustration or simply disappear to another place. I find the three weeks and the omer the hardest time of year

    just my hapence

    With you about the music. Just wish I had the talent to make it as well as consume it…


    nas- :). While i’m not soo into music like that, i know people who are, who dry up without it during omer. I definitely use it as an escape and mood transformer tho, and without my piano for release, the 3 weeks and omer can be quite tough. Hope you can put music to jmh’s poem then n share!


    SM, I once worked on a couple of his poems to try and make a tune to come up with them. And JMH, you have the talent, you just never really had the lessons (not that I did either, but had you been taught something other than violin and really had some serious lessons you would also be very good). The being able to make up a tune as you go along – you know who that comes from!

    just my hapence

    NAS – I am not manually dexterous enough to play any instrument, as you well know…


    I bet it would have helped though. Maybe not violin, that was a little ambitious, but piano if you learned from young enough…

    just my hapence

    Maybe. Maybe not. Speculation is all very well but the fact remains that I just can’t play an instrument. Anyways, I’m sure this is a poetry thread… And therefore:

    Have you seen my dream?

    How could my dream just disappear?

    I had my dream just yesterday,

    This morning, not an hour ago,

    How come it went when I let go?

    This dream of mine, I need to find it

    A dream, I realise now, you must

    For just open up your hand and soon


    jmh,that poem was awesome. The rhythm was amazing and the idea too.

    Saysme, thanks for the empathy. Its appreciated.

    just my hapence



    is that a new one? never read it before

    just my hapence

    It’s about 6 months older than your daughter… I’m sure I sent it to you after I wrote it…



    From that day of horror, shock and tears

    Six Kedoshim taken, not one left

    Leaving every one of us bereft

    Was that every one had been a Jew

    Who lived abroad, who davened where

    Before we knew, for days we prayed

    For a bitter Kaddish we assembled

    While the villains partied and dissembled

    In our golus of such long duration

    Please, H-shem, protect your nation

    Today is the fourth yortzeit of the six Kedoshim who were murdered in Mumbai:

    Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg

    Rebbetzin Rivka Holtzberg

    Bentzion Kruman

    Rabbi Leibish Teitelbaum

    Yoheved Orpaz

    Norma Shvarzblat

    Luna Lovegood

    On dandelions I still wish

    it may be a childish thing

    to blow a kiss upon the wind

    and across its tiny wings

    a desire of the heart

    among the flowing breeze

    soaring gently on the wind

    its weight is carried with ease

    wishes i dare not say

    in hopes that they come true

    whispered on those tendrils sweet

    aspirations are not few

    while others wish upon the stars

    for what only heaven brings

    i blow kisses upon the wind

    my wishes rest on tiny wings

    they carry pieces of my heart

    each desire is made anew

    on dandelions i still wish

    on their wings i wish for you


    her heart

    shadowy green meadows

    forbidden pastures

    closely secured and guarded

    no intruders are welcome

    surrounded by

    towering walls of stone

    bars of iron

    locks of steel

    bricks upon bricks

    so solid

    and closed

    even insects

    are forbidden entry




    beautiful green fields

    lush gardens

    closed away


    cloudy skies

    without even a

    ray of sunshine

    countless attempt

    to penetrate the fortress

    and breathe their last

    outside it’s gates


    one tiny spider


    hailing from

    pastures as beautiful

    beyond a fortress

    as unapproachable

    as her own

    first attempts

    yield nothing


    spider changes tactics

    digs beneath the

    wall of stone





    spider breaks through

    the fine soil

    scales the fortress

    from within


    gossamer threads of trust



    her Web of beauty

    unbreakable wall

    crumbling to dust

    Luna- wow! that poem was totally up my alley….now if only I could write so well…sigh

    icot-thanx that was really meaningful…I was close to the kedoshim…


    how do you know

    if its worse this time

    or just cuz its now

    that it seems so?

    was last time easier?

    was it not so bad?

    or is that cuz it’s passed

    and memory fades?

    Am i doing worse now

    or is it not true?

    is it really the same

    but i forgot how to cope?

    Whats happened?

    Where did i go?

    Where is my strength?

    Where is my soul?

    Why am i like this?

    Why is it like this?

    Whats going on?

    Whats wrong with me??? :'(

    just my hapence

    I wrote this last night when I couldn’t sleep…

    For The Conductor (of the Morning Star)

    And on that day was Israel saved

    And saw the Great and Mighty Hand.

    As the crocodile drowned behind

    Miriam took her drum and danced.

    The lightning bolt struck down Hazor,

    The Keinite turned him from his way

    And drove a tent-peg in his temple,

    And Deborah sang upon that day.

    Head and shoulders above all else,

    A humble man though for it,

    The lyre and cymbals stirred his soul

    And is yet Saul a prophet.

    The shepherd king with his harp

    Protecting from the seething horde,

    As the covenant passed by in song

    Then David danced before the L-rd

    My Beloved, as the apple blossoms,

    The turtle-dove calls back and forth

    A Song of Songs for Solomon.

    Luna Lovegood

    JMH- Beautiful.


    Wow. Just wow. JMH (I am so tempted to use your real name) that was just wow.

    just my hapence


    Luna – just read the poem you posted last week and it’s really, really beautiful. I really love the imagery and the sentiment. Just beautiful.


    ICOT- yasher koach, really well written

    luna- that was lovely 🙂

    shnitzy- i liked that piece!! Really. Sweet determination.

    Shout out to all the quiet or past posters


    Does anyone out there hear my calls

    does anyone out there care?

    Will anyone give me relief from my burden

    when it is too much to bear?

    Does anyone read my unrhymed cries

    does anyone hear the heavy sigh

    will anyone give me a chance to unload

    and a chance to wipe my eye

    does anyone even realize when

    i lie for hours in bed?

    does noone know the inner turmoil

    dancing around in my head?

    Does noone notice the forlorn look

    i can no longer hide?

    the mask has cracked, i’ve been revealed

    but who stays by my side?

    One by one they all drift off

    afraid of what they see

    the pain i carry frightens them

    do they know that it frightens me?

    But i forge on, i forward march

    i try and try again

    when there is someone encouraging

    when supported by mentor or friend

    when you threaten to desert me

    i begin to fall apart

    the loneliness, it burns me deep

    pierces my armored heart

    my need to talk, to share my pain

    at times seems unsatiable

    and you wonder how much you can take

    you question if i’m stable

    but years of shutting emotions inside

    retaliate with a vengeance

    for my learning to share what i feel and think

    for daring to breach that fence

    yes, i have to relearn how to do it alone

    but til then, you know what’d be nice?

    an ear to listen with sympathy

    and another to debate advice

    for now, i slowly wither away

    see how my spirit dies

    my motivation is down to zero

    my cheerful moods are lies

    slipping further downward

    into the darkest abyss

    but you know what? Most people dont notice

    i dont feel i am very missed

    🍫Syag Lchochma

    hey SaysMe, I do!


    do what?

    Yes, that was bitter, sorry


    just wanna apologize syag. Thanks for reading n responding.


    SaysMe…. Very nice poem. Hopefully things will get better.

    I used to post here more often but haven’t been on here for a while but I will try a little poem myself.

    I cry,

    I try,

    I flail,

    I fail.

    I wonder,

    I blunder,

    I scream,

    I dream.

    My cries does any one hear?

    Does anyone really care?

    Trapped, that’s how I feel.

    Everything is so surreal.

    Trapped in the dark,

    No sign of light, not a spark.

    How will I break free?

    This bleakness seems to be gripping me.

    As I walk in a daze,

    Everything seems to be a haze.

    I notice a man, broken and poor,

    Clothing tattered, lying on the floor.

    The haze clears,

    Such a sight brings me to tears,

    Is my life that bad?

    The poor mans life would I rather have had?

    Suddenly it is clear to me

    This incident helped me see,

    G-d guided me this way,

    To help the poor man on this day.

    Although I still have a way to go,

    Some are worse off, now I know.

    With a kind word and a gentle smile,

    I give the man 10 dollars, for him it will go a mile.

    As I walk on,

    I realize that life is like a marathon.

    I can either give up and be left behind,

    Or push ahead and have the finish line in mind.

    Of course if I do it on my own,

    It will just be me, all alone.

    With his guidance and love, all my troubles I can withstand

    And just like the beggar who felt forlorn,

    G-d sent an angel to warm his heart, broken and torn.

    So too in time I’ll see,

    My troubles and sorrows G-d will turn to joy and glee.


    CallMeDave- thank you and welcome back! and thank you for the reminder and message, and even in poetry!

    🍫Syag Lchochma

    SaysMe – nothing to apologize for. You wrote a poem asking who cares, listens and notices and I answered that I do. Sorry I wasn’t clear.

    Hope things are looking up (or at least not quite as down)

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