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If it makes you feel good, then there is no reason not to.
I think that light makeup on shabbos for a sixteen year old girl is totally cool.
I didnt get makeup till right before sem, although I awkwardly put on for shabbos once in a while.
In high school I made fun of people who wore makeup- like what, Hashem didn’t do a good job so you have to make yourself look like something your not?
And who is a frum girl trying to impress in high school anyway?
(That mehalach has gone out the window by now..)
I think that once a girl has reached “marriagable age” makeup is appropriate, and not before then, unless her self-esteem depends on it.
Now, when I come downstairs Friday night, and my grandmother sees me, she’ll say “Wow,you look beautiful!” and then, as a followup “Powder and paint makes a woman what she aint!”
Heartwarming, I know;)
Turns out I have a bigger aversion to going over to a frum boy than I thought I would, (which sort of ends my dilemma), so I ended up asking a non-Jewish girl. (This is not my first semester of college, so I am aware of the issue of boundaries…)
Another Name- good idea, I plan on doing that.
I could definitely get the info from a non-Jewish girl. I just wanted to know if it it would wrong to ask a boy if
a. i have zero interest in them and am asking purely for the sake of the test coming up..
b. they (as a group) and I, are as far as i can tell, the smartest in the class.
Even I’m wrong about that,
c. There’s a comfort thing in asking a Jew rather than a goy Especially when I distinctly stick out as a religious girl, I’m sort of on my own.
There is a math lab on campus, but I volunteer during the day and come in to school with just enough time to make it in time for class.
abcd2- None of the frum young men are married, actually i think a few are younger (as in, 17, 18) than me! (there goes the “just marry them!” idea)
haleivi- you must be joking- hashkafic discussions in calculus class?! also, i try to make sure to sit in a place where eye contact is impossible during class
middlepath- i appreciate that, in that it’s terribly inconveniant that so many people assume that asking a question/volunteering help- automatically means you “like” him/her- which is SO not the case!
As soon as I have my notebook on me, i’ll post my question- thanks!
A couple of years ago, my mother was packing my oldest (younger) brother up for camp and i took my-then 3 year old brother out of the house so that she could get some work done. After taking him for ice cream, I decided to buy my mother a birthday present since it was only days away. I was very conscious however, that as a child, my little brother could easily give away the secret. So on the way home I trained him:
“Avi, when we get home and mommy asks us what we did, you say ‘we got ice cream’ and nothing else. If she asks you what we did after that, say ‘nothing’ okay?”
And I practiced being my mother, always ending with “and then what did you do?” to hear his response “nothing”.
It was perfect.
When we walked in the door, my mother asked what we did. My brother answered, “We got ice cream”. Step A, complete.
Apparently however, my mother wasnt THAT interested, and she went back to packing.
My brother persisted though,
“Mommy, now you ask me what we did after that!”
Not exactly according to plan 😉
maaybe that you’re an oheiv yisroel?
or you know the identity of everyone in CR and are can say with absolute certainty that you’re my brother..? (;
Nah don’t think that’s it…
I’m pretty sure I could come up with some pretty good answers with enough time..
You are obviously right, and maybe I should have clarified that I spoke at length with a respected Rov in my community, who also felt the boy in question was not for me.
I have a real respect for you.
With your attitude, you should find your match with ease at the right time.
Maybe it’s because I have not been dating for over a year yet, and am not at all burnt out,I always wondered why singles have such a hard time with it. I really don’t mean to be caustic or insensitive, but don’t frum Jews believe in a Hashem Who has a plan and knows exactly what each of His children need?
I understand that the process is hard- I’ve begun it, and rejection, decisions, waiting for a date, and getting close to a potential mazel tov which then dissipates, are all trying and emotionally draining, but I truly feel that I have grown substantially from every encounter. Every date teaches me more about what I stand for, and each experience lends me insight about who I really am.
Example: I had been dating a boy seriously for a while, and there was a mutualy interest from both sides. Until it slowly hit me that he was not interested in learning at all. As in, couldn’t commit to be koveia itim. As a girl who has anticipated marrying a young man with fire for learning all my life, this was extremely difficult decision for me to make. I ended up ending the relationship although i still believe he is a top boy in every other arena (and even had learnt in bais medrash post high-school for a substantial amount of time).
My father said to me “You know, we always speak about making sacrifices for Torah, and it’s become almost a frum-cliche. But this action really drove it in- what values you will never give up”.
Last week I read something interesting in the Readers Write section of the Yated newspaper-
It was a boy writing in about getting married in, i think his late thirties. He spoke about a boy (I’m not sure if he was referring to himself or to a friend) who got married at a considerably older age, to a girl much his junior. His rebbe remarked “for 10-plus years you could not get married- because your zivug would have been 9 or 10 at the time! Hashem has a plan for every one of us.”
May we all be zoche to be led to our zivug at the right time
Obviously the line “Your hair got so long!” is innocuous enough that it could be read as either compliment or insult- and depending on who says it, and how badly you really do need a haircut, will determine how I’d interpret it. Not that I sit around interpreting every third word out of a person’s mouth, but backhanded compliments always amuse me.
i think my favorite is “Oh wow, your hair got sooooo long!” aka get a haircut.