Forum Replies Created
Zeeskite, the fact that Ruth was not driven by personal gratification would not be enough to legitimize something wrong. Now we know that chazal see her actions in a good light. But just like we analyze her conduct in the feild, “shocheves margilosav” deserves to be analyzed as well. It’s not enough to give the “we can’t understand it” chant.June 12, 2011 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm in reply to: why is it fair for a younger daughter to have to wait for the older daughter? #776296
I think you should go ahead with the shidduch for the 18 yr old. It is unfair to withhold a shidduch from her because she has an older sister. I am in the same predicament (have a younger sister in shidduchim and I am in shidduchim) and would be absolutely horrified if I was the reason that prevented my sister from even meeting a shidduch possibiity.
You, or someone else, needs to speak to the older daughter, because this seems to be a deeper issue. Your 19 yr old needs to come to terms with the fact that life events do not always play out the way we’d like. And this is probably not the last time she will face something like this (although we all wish it was).
By the way, involvement lessens feelings of jealousy. Meaning, if the older daughter is quite involved in the goings-on of the shidduch, it will help her overcome her hard feelings. (Contrary to the instinctive reaction of hiding things…)
Yenta, from someone who graduated high school in the top 5% of the year (in terms of regent marks)I would suggest the following: the biologies, although you may find them hard at first, are mostly grasping infromation, and therefore do not necessarily require previous knowledge although it will definitely be harder for you. In terms of chemistry, the typical chem 101 courses assume you have mastered high school chemistry and the college couse builds on that. I would not advise you to take chem 101 without taking the equivalnet of a high school chem course beforehand. Your other option is being prepared to spend a lot of time at tutors and work super-hard.
Unless the professor dumbs it down, its not easy even after mastering high school chem.
Gee…this is exciting. I didn’t know I could write poems. The last time I spent writing poetry was in eight grade where there was still something called creative writing. Essays became the thing after that
I scribbled both these poems on the train on the back of my school notebooks.
I like to write songs… I actually wrote a shidduch song -which is kind of like a poem (completed entirely on the F-train)It might provide some good wood to keep the “shidduchim” fire blazing in the cr…
The things that I would do if I knew I Wouldn’t Fail:
The things that I would do
If I knew I wouldn not fail
There wouldn’t be a mountain in the world
That I wouldn’t scale
You wouldn’t see a picture I didn’ paint
You wouldn’t see a book I didn’t write
There wouldn’t be a life I hadn’t touched
No evil I didn’t fight
There woudln’t be a desert I didn’t cross
There wouldn’t be a sight I didn’t see
There would be no good I didn’t spread
No shackled one I didn’ set free
There wouldn’t be a flower I didn’t pick
No song I didn’t sing
No skill I never mastered
No grapes I wouldn’t wring
There would be no mind I didn’t probe
No heart I didn’t discover
No feeling I wouldn’t know
No wisdom I didn’t uncover
(For the more morose among you…)
The Secret of Being Blue:
The secret of being blue
Is really in the hue
For the color of the sky
Is the color of a cry
Somewhere in that feeling sad
Is resembalence to being glad
And if you chance upon an endless night
Just know it holds your blazing light
And if sometimes you shed a tear
You’ll notice then that things are clear
Sometimes if you feel alone
Suddenly you know of home
And if, yourself, you cannot grasp
You’re closer to the truth, alas…
Research strongly points out that “educating” girls about eating disorders (in this case anorexia and bulimia) is generally not helpful. It only teaches those who are in it and those who are vulnerable new tricks and gives them ideas. Anorexia and bulimia are not a phase or ” something in the head”. Anyone who thinks this is simply ignorant. They are very very serious mental illnesses. What starts off as a stint in seminary can evolve into a life threatening illness.October 19, 2010 4:01 am at 4:01 am in reply to: An important lesson from last weeks parsha for married people #702535
Moshe rose, I hate to break it to you but it’s warped people like you who are causing problems in our society. Like oomis said, it doesn’t mean he didn’t know what she looked like. I means that when he saw her, he did not see solely her physical beauty. When he looked at her he saw her as the total inner person she was and thus assumed that her beauty emanated from within.
That explains why he only realized her physical beauty when he saw her reflection. A picture, or reflection will not radiate the same chein that is seen on a live face. Thus he understood that she was objectively beautiful.
And anyway, to get beyond the simplistic, widespread definition of tsnius, tsnius is the ability to push past external trappings and focus on the essentail core of something. According to this understanding, it is quite clear why tnius between avraham and sarah caused Avraham not to realize sarah’s physical beauty. He saw her as a whole person, inside and out. Her physical beauty, to him, was simply a reflection of her inner being.
I find it hard to believe that “al kein yaazov ish es aviv vies imo vedavak lishto…” means that one should have minimal contact with this wife. It smells very unjewish.
And by the way, here is a list of probably all of marcus lehmann’s novels and novelettes:
-Out of the depths
-the count of coucy
-family y aguilar
-portrait of two families
-faith and courage(aka the adopted princess)
-stranger at the gate (for kids)
-between two worlds
-just in time
-rabbi joselman of rosheim (2 volumes)
Shraga, take it from a veteran of your problem. The best jewish novels (in my opinion) are those of marcus lehmann. Some are republished today (albeit with slight censure which sometimes defeats the purpose) and many are out of print. The older the edition you can get your hands on, the better. They’re expensive to buy but some libraries should have them. Henye Meyer is also great but as far as I know she only had two novels out: Fall of the Sun G-d and exiles of crocodile island. David Zaritzky is also really good He wrote Beyond the Sun (a novel) and other articles. I do not think these books will dissapoint you in terms of what you mentioned.
Maybe the higher level learning is Bais Yakovs can be a bit much for the average student but I garauntee you, the smarter and more gifted girls would not survive in an understimulating environment. Gone are the days where a girl is born and bred in the kitchen. Like it or not, we live in an open world. We don’t want them to go elsewhere.
And many of these gifted girls are future “influencers” for Jewish women. Trust me, they’d be gone if Bais Yakov’s were only teaching how to sew and bake. Besides, Hashem runs the world, not goyim. If there is a differnt trend, universally, that women’s lives today are differnet – it is obviously part of Hashem’s plan.
I don’t know about online programs but there’s a good book out there used in high schools and colleges called “Hayesod” published by Feldheim – I think. Visit your local Judaica store or u can get it online.
SM, I’m glad you caught on. At the end of the day G-d runs the world and believe it or not – the world of shidduchim too. If He decided to keep people single for an amount of time there is quite obviously a reason for it.
Anyway, why are people so obsessed with procuring logical reaons for this “crisis”? Not everyone that is single is a self-sabotager… maybe maybe its just part of Hashem’s plan for them to wait a little longer.
There is a reason the shulchan aruch says a person doesn’t need to heed his parents reagrading a shidduch. That – and a place to learn Torah – are the only situations that it mentions. Ir – i don’t like that story for this reason.