Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Posting about the year 1700 in Eastery Europe, and when challenged relating a story from 1930s Lithuania is nonsense. You can’t extrapolate from Vilna in 1936 to a village in Galicia in 1700.
@Joseph
Not Best Man in the goyische sense, but a trusted agent of the Chosson who handles little details and keeps him on trackI won’t address your comments about the economics of yeshiva students in current day EY.
I do highly doubt your statement that hundreds of thousands of each million frum males in 1700s Eastern Europe were spending sizable portions of the day studying in stiebelach in their stetlach. I would suggest that most of them were toiling most of the day attempting to scratch out a living at their restricted means of employment.
I would challenge you to produce factual evidence to support your claim.We married off two daughters within the past 22 months.
Both weddings ran on time.
I am a stickler for detail and punctuality (Yekke on maternal side).
Time schedules for performance with monetary penalties were written into contacts for caterer, florist, photographer and band (yes, I’m an attorney and never accept a contract handed me by a supplier…it will be construed in their favor).
Typically a wedding gets behind schedule in the photography session. Mrs. CTL and I went over the shots to be taken with daughters, SILS and photographer. NO additional shots, setups, locations were permitted. Photographer could take all the candids he desired during the meal, dancing, etc. but not delay the affair.
My next door neighbor’s wife volunteered and was put in charge of making sure all those to be in a photo were in place at the proper time.
The mesader kiddushin reviewed the Ketubot the night before with the Chason and both fathers. No time was wasted at the tisch for this.
We were not at the mercy of the wedding hall for setup time and access as both weddings took place at the CTL compound. Only the first wedding was followed by a dinner affair that night in a Manhattan hotel. No delays for tisch, ceremony, etc. It was called for 7:30 cocktails and hors d’oeuvres and 8:15 sit down for formal dinner and dancing. 10:30 bentching, shevah berachot and speeches. Everyone out at 11:30.It was the best man’s job to keep the chason on a timetable. No delays by friends with sthick were to be tolerated. The kallah’s eldest sister was charged to keep her on schedule.
We did not need/use a wedding planner..we’re good at this task. All vendors were set straight form the beginning that they ONLY took instructions from Mrs. CTL or myself. This avoids delays caused by meeting requests from guests or unauthorized relatives making changes.
@mentsch1
Here in the country things are different.
No shows and cancellations with less than 24 hour notice are billed a fee (there are exceptions, such as being admitted to the hospital). Don’t pay the fee and chances are the doctor will drop you as a patient.Unlike, some of the Frum enclaves often mentioned in the CR, the doctors here are not seeing a large number of Medicaid patients.
My time is money…that’s what attorney’s do, they bill time. I respect the doctor’s time as well. When booking an appointment I let the receptionist know if I need a brief or extended visit. The internist who is my primary care doctor does not see children. That speeds things up. Also, people who call and say they’ve just come down with a kronk are referred to the walk-in facility in the building, not told to come in and be squeezed in.
As far as your statement about costs, in this areas almost 50% of MDs have sold their practices to the area hospitals and are employees, not business owners. Excluding my dentist. all of my doctors are in practices now owned by two hospitals. This includes the concierge practice owned by Yale.
@mentsch1
Contrary to your belief, lawyers also help people.
Unlike doctors, the first consultation is generally free. My firm spends 20% of its time on pro bono cases…work done free for the public good.
I can’t tell you how to run your practice and schedule your time. That’s your business. I know that you can charge different amounts for a brief office visit and a long one. The problem is that you are constricted by insurance payments, I am not.
My internist has a concierge practice. I pay an annual fee that grants access and short wait times. Not every doctor offers that nor can every patient afford it.
My dentist is in the same building as my office. I have his staff trained to phone me when the previous patient gets up from the chair in the procedure room. I am able to be in the room by the time the dentist is ready to see me.
I dropped my eye doctor when I found he was making 6 ‘first’ appointments, sticking patients in exam rooms and wasting hours of me time.I went to my internist for vaccinations this week. He schedules a vaccine clinic each week for three hours. Patients are in and out. No other issues are discussed or treated. He only sees adults as patients. This leads to a much more orderly flow to the workday.
@lesschrumras
There are many occasions for ‘well doctor’ visits: Annual physical, Flu Shots, Eye Exam, every six month teeth cleaning, orthotic adjustment at the podiatrist.Not every doctor visit is because one is sick.
In fact, I went on Monday to update certain vaccinations for travel to travel to southern Africa this month.After 30 minutes I get up and walk out. I also refuse to give the receptionist the co-pay before I see the doctor. Once they have your money, they don’t care how long you sit and wait.
I agree that the time to meet your child’s prospective mate is during the dating period.
We met our children’s mates after the 2nd date and before the 4th. In all cases it was not a formal meeting of Mrs. CTL and I and the you young people in out living room…too stiff and uncomfortable for all involved.
We arranged for couple to attend a Sunday late afternoon BBQ or meal at our home that included other relatives and friends of the couple. In fact, to make it more comfortable we had our child ask the date to bring a few friends as possibles for our other children or invitees. We watched the social interaction of the young people as a whole and had limited but satisfying interaction with the target bride/groom.
This worked well for 4 of 5 children.
The other son in law was the child of friends and we had watched him grow up and didn’t require such a meeting.Yes, Eminent Domain is a real threat in the USA ever since the Kelo v. New London case here in CT. It used to be that government could take your land for public use….a school, roads, etc.
Now the Supreme Court found that government could take your land and transfer it to another private owner.
Pfizer wanted the New London land to build a large facility. The city felt that employment and taxes were a better use of the land and benefited the citizenry. The courts agreed. All these years later the land is vacant, Pfizer never built.BTW> my town took 4 feet depth of my road frontage by eminent domain to put in waste sewers. Not only did they not pay for the land, as they argued home values go up when you have sewers, not septic systems, but I had to pay a $30,000 assessment for the cost of the sewers and $3000 to hook up.
I have been a member of our town’s Board of Assessment Appeals and heard arguments as to value for eminent domain claims.
@Yehudayona
Should Rubashkin be allowed to vote?
He would NOT qualify in Connecticut, as he still has to make restitution and is on supervised release.
He may qualify in NY, the rules are a bit more lenient.What’s my opinion?
I have lobbied my state legislators to change the law to forbid granting voting rights to convicted felons.
I don’t care if they are Jews or Goyim@Joseph
Literacy Tests for voting rights were specifically made illegal in the Voting Rights Act of 1965, along with things such as the poll tax. These had been used to keep minorities from voting My father A”H used to keep his NYS Voter Registration Literacy Certificate (issued in the 1930s) framed on the wall in his office. I have it on display in my office nowVoter registration requirements in the USA are left to the individual states as long as they do not violate the Voting Rights Act of 1965 as amended.
Different states have different rules. Some allow felons to vote from prison, some =never restore voting rights. Some require an individual to petition for restoration. Some base re-enfranchisement on the crime.
In Connecticut, as long as the felon has completed his/her sentence and parole requirements he/she may register to vote and paid all ordered fines and restitution.
This means that the CONVICTED FELON Mayor Joseph Ganim of Bridgeport, who was sent to prison for stealing the taxpayers’ money and taking payoffs, was able to become an elector (registered voter) and then run for and win election as Mayor of Bridgeport.
In the 1950s and 60s Mayor Rado of Naugatuck was convicted and jailed for voter fraud twice. Each time after release and satisfaction of terms of his conviction, he got his vote back and the voters returned this felon to office.
If your states lets convicted felons vote and you oppose it, lobby your state legislators to change the law
When I come into our mudroom from outside, I remove my shoes and put on leather bedroom slippers.
As Joseph said we don’t walk in only socks unless in a period of mourning.@WTP
Different laws in different states is exactly why we have separate Bar Exams for each state. One day National law is tested, day two, state law is tested.
I am admitted in CT, MA (where I went to Law School), NY and FL. I am old enough that after practicing in CT for 5 years, all I had to do was pay my fee to NY, drive to Albany and be sworn in. Nowadays, I’d have to take and pass the NYS Bar Exam. I took and passed the other exams. I am also admitted to the Federal Bar for my District.That said, No one knows every law on the books in their state. Lawyers and Judges tend to keep up to speed on the areas of their practice. Otherwise they look things up or have clerks and paralegals research and report results. I was in court this morning with a Judge in Housing Session, Superior Court. He had just been transferred in after 5 years in the Family Law Division. In one 30 minute session, he stopped and referred to the Connecticut General Statutes (on line version) 4 times before rendering a decision.
I have twice submitted comments because Rebbyidd23 tagged me in the original post.
Neither of my comments has posted. Thank you moderators for allowing my ‘probable’ opinion to be posted and my actual opinion to be deleted.@Shopping613
Back through the early 1970s, all public school students took a class in Civics while in Junior High School which covered this subject. MY OOT Day School/High School also taught it. OOT schools are far more likely to have a full half day of secular subjects. We constantly read articles on YWN of Yeshivos NOT teaching the government required secular classes, turning out graduates who are ignorant of necessary information to live in the greater world.I have three Chinese Foreign Exchange students living in an apartment I own and attending private high school in the US. I mentor them. They all are taking a Government class which deals with the basics of the US legal system.
@Joseph
Not everything in law is reduced to what is in the statute books. Sometimes it is just by precedent. Most states recognize marriages performed by pulpit Rabbis, Ministers, Priests and Mullahs. They are permitted to sign the civil marriage licenses as the officiant. They do not recognize most of these people if they do not hold a pulpit or the pulpit is out of state.
I’m a Justice of the Peace. When last Ms. CTL was married here at our home this August, the Mesader Kiddushin was from South Africa. He could not sign the CT marriage License, so I signed it.See my post about my parents who married in Manhattan with only a Rav as Mesader Kiddushin, not a marriage license. Their marriage was recognized as legal
@ZD
There are only 14 states that recognize Common Law Marriage and in some of them it had to be established in the last century.
States That Recognize Common Law Marriage
Only a few states recognize common law marriages, and each has specific stipulations as to what relationships are included:Alabama
Colorado
District of Columbia
Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
Iowa
Kansas
Montana
New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
Ohio (if created before 10/10/91)
Oklahoma (possibly only if created before 11/1/98. Oklahoma’s laws and court decisions may be in conflict about whether common law marriages formed in that state after 11/1/98 will be recognized.)
Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05)
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Texas
UtahBTW…from personal experience, Social Security accepts a Ketubah as proof of marriage for benefit purposes.
My parents OBM, never got a civil marriage license. They were married in Manhattan in the early 1940s. When my mother went to collect a wife’s SS benefit on my father’s earnings she was asked for a copy of her marriage license. She replied, I don’t have one. She said I have a Jewish marriage contract, signed and witnessed. SS told her to bring it is to the office. She said it’s framed and hanging on my bedroom wall along with a wedding photo. SS said bring the frame in and we’ll photocopy it on a blueprint size copier.
She shlepped the framed ketubah to the New Haven office, it was copied and she rec’d her checks for more than 30 years@WTP
The recipient of Social Security (and some pensions) has an obligation to notify SS of a change in marital status. The officiant of a Jewish Marriage marries them, having convinced them not to live in sin, telling them they don’t have to get a government issued marriage license (and record the completed document after the ceremony).
The officiant knew they were marrying and keeping it a secret form the government to continue receiving finds for which they are no longer eligible.@MalachofCholent
Unfortunately yo are wrong about money not keeping people from remarrying, it happens regularly.
Back in the 90s, my eldest BIL (who was a pulpit rabbi) also assumed the duties of Rabbi at a Jewish Senior Housing facility in the Boston area for a year to cover for the rabbi who was on sabbatical.He found quite a few widowed couples who were living together, but had not married. The standard answer was that they could not afford to live on the reduced Social Security or pension benefits.
He then offered to perform ‘Jewish’ marriage ceremonies with ketubos without the couples obtaining marriage licenses from the government. After performing a few of these, he was told that he had exposure for helping these couples perpetrate a fraud on the pension payers and had to stop.
@Gadolhadorah
Why don’t you hear more of this?
In the USA, such a marriage might got total Social Security benefits received by the individuals, as well as cause the loss of other pension and insurance benefits.
A wife collecting on her husband’s Social Security benefits gets 50% of his check amount. When he passes away, she then gets 100% of the amount of his check as long as she is a widow. If she remarries, that increase is gone.
Many pensions have provisions to pay the surviving spouse as long as no remarriage occurs.
My father’s plan paid my mother’s health costs (above Medicare) as long as she did not remarry.
I’m a Family Law/Wills and Trust Attorney. Almost every trust we write had surviving spouse’s benefits end on remarriage so that the maker of the Trust can be sure his/her children/grandchildren get every penny set aside, not have any go to a second spouse or their children/grandchildren.When people had no or little money it was different. Widowed seniors were married off to keep each other company, save on the cost of maintaining two homes for a single person, and give relief to the children and grandchildren..knowing that the widow/widower was not alone.
Thank you Goq,
I have posted about this offensive term for years. Mrs. CTL and I are proud parents of a daughter who was born and adopted in China. The term is both false and offensive. These charities are NOT auctioning off Chinese….it is not a slave auction.
I have refused to give one cent to any charity or organization that uses this term.@AviK
#1 Depends on Jurisdiction
In many jurisdictions the judge makes the defendant rise and questions whether he/she agrees to the guilty pleas and understands the ramifications. If the defendant says no, the judge may refuse the plea. Judge can order a court psychiatric evaluation#2 Morality is a set of beliefs, often personal or religion based. In US legal system Ethics are a set of rules that Attorneys and Judges must follow or be subject to sanctions.
#3 A judge in charging the jury will remind them that the attorney’s summation is NOT evidence, and has not been given under oath, subject to cross examination and penalties of perjury
@AviK
I did not say this thread should be ignored, I said trolls should be ignored…and it doesn’t matter what religion the troll isDisclaimer Time:
I’m an attorney, but don’t practice criminal law.
That said there is much incorrect information in the above posts………………………..@AviK the attorney was wrong to say this to the jury in the death penalty phase. If the client was truly legally insane, the please should have been not guilty because of insanity. Expert testimony and evidence would be entered during the trial to prove insanity. The words of the attorney in summation hold no authority, they may influence the jury, but are not authoritative
@yytz A client may not always fire his attorney, client needs judge’s permission during trial as it may cause delay. If the plea has been one of insanity then the judge may be loathe to allow client to make decisions like this.
The client’s mental health as a mitigating factor is brought in by expert testimony, NOT simply by an attorney’s statement which is not part of the trial required to be considered by the jury.
@Joseph
Morality is a religious question, Ethical is a legal standards question in American Jurisprudence. An attorney can not cause a danger to society to be lefty free in society, the trier of fact (judge and/or jury) does that. The Defense Attorney has the ethical responsibility to advocate his best for his client. The Prosecuting Attorney should be trying to keep people whop are dangers to society off the streets.@David111
Legally binding under what court system and subject to whose penalties?In the USA, due to First Amendment Considerations…secular courts would be loathe to enforce a religious contract and could not fine or imprison a party to such a contract for non-performance.
In my area of CT, I am a Family Law Attorney and in the past 20+ years I have got Superior Court judges to approve divorce settlement language that states which party shall pay for the Beis Din/Get, but not language to require a Get be issued. They accepted my argument that the payment is merely contract law, not religious law. A party found in contempt is then subject to penalties as permitted by secular law.
“bar mitzvah lessons (parsha and haftorah) are typically $65 for 35 min once a week for a year before the bar mitzvah = approx. $3k”
Maybe in your neighborhood, not in ours.
Bar Mitzvah lessons come along with synagogue dues, here in suburban CT. They are taught either by the shul Rabbi or Educational Director (the Talmud Torah principal who deals with the members who attend public or private non-Yeshiva schools). It is customary to give the teacher a $300-500 gift at the end of the teaching. Takes about 6 months twice a week for an hour. The initial Trop classes are held for all Bar Mitzvah boys in the shul as a group. Haftorah and leyning of the specific parsha is private.Our grandsons’ day schools teach the trop to all 6th grade boys as part of regular classes.
In my day, one went to the local Hebrew Book Shop and bought a 78RPM record and the Parsha/Haftorah booklet for about $10 a set. The shul Shammos gave lessons Tuesday nights and Sunday afternoons for about $1 per lesson. My zeidy taught me and my sons. I have taught 2 of my grandsons , the others have been taught by my SILs’ fathers..they didn’t want a Litvak (Tayrah) pronunciation.Ignore
I do not like Blueberry Pie
I do not like berries in any shape or form
No Blueberries, Strawberries, Blackberries, Raspberries, Gooseberries, Huckleberries
I am an equal opportunity berry hater…no discrimination by color@iacissrmma
The CDC is not wrong. They leave the decision to the states. Then some states such as CT, pass this to local health districts (some are one municipality, some multi)
I still teach one course a semester as an adjunct in a Mass, Law School. When I teach either Local Government or Constitutional Law, I always make a point that the only government entities that exist under the constitution are the Federal and State levels. Local government is a creation of the individual states. CT did away with County Government in about 1960. Approx 6 years ago, a local town was uncooperative in building a regional Magnet High School. The Governor and State Legislature got upset with the local First Selectmen, so they simply took almost 50 acres of that town’s land and annexed it to the abutting municipality and built the school on it. The town had no standing to stop this, states can redraw boundaries at will.
Actually, that varies by the US state. Here in CT the individual health district makes the rules.
We have exchange students from China living in an apartment we own. Two attend school in one town, the other 5 miles away in a second town. One health department requires annual TB retesting One does not. One town requires meningitis shots for dorm students the other does not@Gadolhardorah
Yes, it is apples and oranges.
There is no reason to go into debt and spend beyond your means to impress others.
We certainly could afford the over the top celebrations, but think they are in bad taste and not good for the community as a whole.
OOT it is most common to hold the affair in the shul social hall which cuts cost. A weekday morning Bar Mitzvah is less expensive than a Shabbos event and typically will have far fewer shul members in attendance.It is the policy in our shul that all members are invited to a cold kiddush after Shabbos services hosted and paid for by the Boy’s family. It is held in the vestry or library. Then, invited guests only attended a full luncheon in the social hall. Motzei Shabbos were typically parties for the young people only.
This is a far cry from the affairs of my childhood during the Baby Boom. My eldest brother’s Bar Mitzvah was a three day event on Labor Day Weekend for 500 guests…BUT it was 50% business guests of my father and paid for by his business. It was a chance to entertain guests with Kosher meals and entertainment not generally available in our town.
Ridiculous waste of money.
My kids made a Bar Mitzvah celebration for their son in September. Thursday morning minyan in Shul. Herring, kichel, coffee, cake, whiskey, one waitress, paper goods, linens, etc. $300Sunday afternoon open house at home to celebrate for about 100 family and adult friends fleishige buffet. $1500. 12 kids went bowling with the Bochur Motzei Shabbos $200
Cost of Tefillin isn’t part of the equation because they are needed even if their is no simcha. We also buy a tallisI fixed a few typos. Hope I got it right
@DovidBT
If the repair to the deviated septum did not require changes to the exterior of the nose you would not have had rhinoplasty in addition to the septoplasty.
At times changes to the exterior are required to accommodate corrections to the septum or other interior parts of the nose and thus Rhinoplasty is performed as well.
Sometimes, a plastic surgeon will get the insurance company to pay for the cosmetic Rhinoplasty by stating it is necessary in order to complete medically necessary work.@Chabadshlucha
It appears you lead a sheltered or insular life.
Not all plastic surgery is for the type of Goyische vanity your describe.
Not everyone who has plastic surgery announces it to friends or family.The term plastic surgery is often assumed to mean ‘cosmetic’ surgery. In reality Cosmetic surgery is of the vanity type, while plastic surgery is of the restorative type: think burn victims, or someone who had had a disfiguring accident.
Some rhinoplasty is cosmetic, some is to repair issues such as a deviated septum.I had plastic surgery 30 years ago on my hand after large bone spurs were removed. The excess skin was removed and a seamless reattachment was made. No visible scar.
My wife knew, my parents and siblings never did
@DovidBT
as the parent of an adopted child….I can say that your method is not foolproof.@ubiquitin
I’ve always taught my law students (and my children) read every word carefully and don’t overlook simple or obvious answers by looking at a problem too deeply.
Many a legal problem can be solved quickly by just answering the question asked, not going deeper.Everyone is missing the obvious: The winner n a chess match always wins in one move…it is the final or winning move.
The OP did not ask if HaShem can win a chess match in ONLY one move.Why would a man care? Because maybe he doesn’t want to have children with noses that look like ski jumps!!!!!
I was never scared of our basement as a child. My parents bought the house brand new a month before I was born and the basement was fully finished by my father.
I am scared of the basement in our current home, at least the section under the original part of the house. It was built in 1803. There are tree trunks holding up the floors, the foundation is made of piled rocks and it has a dirt floor. Access is only through a Bilco door from the outside. It is not unusual to see signs of wildlife, especially in the winter. There is still a door for coal deliveries. I try to avoid going down there as much as possible, but last Monday, I had to change filters in one furnace and then my youngest daughter tripped a circuit breaker and I had to go reset that.
We keep nothing in the basement except the railings and pump for the swimming pool in the winter and the pool cover in the summer. The additions to the house have 3 ft high crawl spaces, not basements and I never enter those…that’s what children and grandchildren are for,
I’l give my opinion after I’ve read it……………..
Personally I think it’s a comedy about Trump and a tragedy for America
Shai
@Joseph
The business class remark was an example. The last 3 transpacific flights I took on Asian airlines had Busimess and Coach, no more First. The Business has lay flat beds in individual pods.
Domestically, most often I use Netjets. No shared armrests. Many commercial flights have shared armrests in First Class on narrowbody flights.Business Class with individual pods….no armrests to share…………..
But, in the real world: the middle person gives up so much that that person should have first rights to the armrestI disagree with the statement…………….
A father in Law should keep his mouth shut and wallet open.A good father in law keeps his ears open and only opens his mouth to give advice when asked or if he sees a truly dangerous situation.
If your child is now old enough to get married, your child is old enough to make decisions and mistakes along with his/her spouse.BTW> my mother Z”L always said a good MIL keeps her mouth shut and her refrigerator open.
@iacisrmma
No, our property is about an hour north of the hardest hit area. It was well secured with hurricane shutters and has a large back up generator (having lived through Hurricane Andrew we had upograded our storm preparedness) The Rav of the local shul called us and asked if we would let a storm dislocated family from Miami stay in our home until their home could be made habitable. They stayed until early November.RebYidd23……………………
“If someone owns a second home, they are wealthy.”
That’s quite an opinion with no facts to back it up.Many a working stiff retiree owns a Florida Condo purchased years ago for less than $15,000
They live on their Social Security and/or pensions and savings and are far from wealthy.@iacisrmma
Yes, our Florida home has internet access. It allows me to work while away from the office.
I had hoped to leave this coming Thursday for a few weeks, but as we say:
דער מענטש טראַכט און גאָט לאַכט.
Der mentsh trakht un got lakht.
Man plans and G-d laughs.They are expecting snow on Thursday, so I decided to move my flight up a day.