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@Joseph
Not everything in law is reduced to what is in the statute books. Sometimes it is just by precedent. Most states recognize marriages performed by pulpit Rabbis, Ministers, Priests and Mullahs. They are permitted to sign the civil marriage licenses as the officiant. They do not recognize most of these people if they do not hold a pulpit or the pulpit is out of state.
I’m a Justice of the Peace. When last Ms. CTL was married here at our home this August, the Mesader Kiddushin was from South Africa. He could not sign the CT marriage License, so I signed it.See my post about my parents who married in Manhattan with only a Rav as Mesader Kiddushin, not a marriage license. Their marriage was recognized as legal
@ZD
There are only 14 states that recognize Common Law Marriage and in some of them it had to be established in the last century.
States That Recognize Common Law Marriage
Only a few states recognize common law marriages, and each has specific stipulations as to what relationships are included:Alabama
Colorado
District of Columbia
Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
Iowa
Kansas
Montana
New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
Ohio (if created before 10/10/91)
Oklahoma (possibly only if created before 11/1/98. Oklahoma’s laws and court decisions may be in conflict about whether common law marriages formed in that state after 11/1/98 will be recognized.)
Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05)
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Texas
UtahBTW…from personal experience, Social Security accepts a Ketubah as proof of marriage for benefit purposes.
My parents OBM, never got a civil marriage license. They were married in Manhattan in the early 1940s. When my mother went to collect a wife’s SS benefit on my father’s earnings she was asked for a copy of her marriage license. She replied, I don’t have one. She said I have a Jewish marriage contract, signed and witnessed. SS told her to bring it is to the office. She said it’s framed and hanging on my bedroom wall along with a wedding photo. SS said bring the frame in and we’ll photocopy it on a blueprint size copier.
She shlepped the framed ketubah to the New Haven office, it was copied and she rec’d her checks for more than 30 years@WTP
The recipient of Social Security (and some pensions) has an obligation to notify SS of a change in marital status. The officiant of a Jewish Marriage marries them, having convinced them not to live in sin, telling them they don’t have to get a government issued marriage license (and record the completed document after the ceremony).
The officiant knew they were marrying and keeping it a secret form the government to continue receiving finds for which they are no longer eligible.@MalachofCholent
Unfortunately yo are wrong about money not keeping people from remarrying, it happens regularly.
Back in the 90s, my eldest BIL (who was a pulpit rabbi) also assumed the duties of Rabbi at a Jewish Senior Housing facility in the Boston area for a year to cover for the rabbi who was on sabbatical.He found quite a few widowed couples who were living together, but had not married. The standard answer was that they could not afford to live on the reduced Social Security or pension benefits.
He then offered to perform ‘Jewish’ marriage ceremonies with ketubos without the couples obtaining marriage licenses from the government. After performing a few of these, he was told that he had exposure for helping these couples perpetrate a fraud on the pension payers and had to stop.
@Gadolhadorah
Why don’t you hear more of this?
In the USA, such a marriage might got total Social Security benefits received by the individuals, as well as cause the loss of other pension and insurance benefits.
A wife collecting on her husband’s Social Security benefits gets 50% of his check amount. When he passes away, she then gets 100% of the amount of his check as long as she is a widow. If she remarries, that increase is gone.
Many pensions have provisions to pay the surviving spouse as long as no remarriage occurs.
My father’s plan paid my mother’s health costs (above Medicare) as long as she did not remarry.
I’m a Family Law/Wills and Trust Attorney. Almost every trust we write had surviving spouse’s benefits end on remarriage so that the maker of the Trust can be sure his/her children/grandchildren get every penny set aside, not have any go to a second spouse or their children/grandchildren.When people had no or little money it was different. Widowed seniors were married off to keep each other company, save on the cost of maintaining two homes for a single person, and give relief to the children and grandchildren..knowing that the widow/widower was not alone.
Thank you Goq,
I have posted about this offensive term for years. Mrs. CTL and I are proud parents of a daughter who was born and adopted in China. The term is both false and offensive. These charities are NOT auctioning off Chinese….it is not a slave auction.
I have refused to give one cent to any charity or organization that uses this term.@AviK
#1 Depends on Jurisdiction
In many jurisdictions the judge makes the defendant rise and questions whether he/she agrees to the guilty pleas and understands the ramifications. If the defendant says no, the judge may refuse the plea. Judge can order a court psychiatric evaluation#2 Morality is a set of beliefs, often personal or religion based. In US legal system Ethics are a set of rules that Attorneys and Judges must follow or be subject to sanctions.
#3 A judge in charging the jury will remind them that the attorney’s summation is NOT evidence, and has not been given under oath, subject to cross examination and penalties of perjury
@AviK
I did not say this thread should be ignored, I said trolls should be ignored…and it doesn’t matter what religion the troll isDisclaimer Time:
I’m an attorney, but don’t practice criminal law.
That said there is much incorrect information in the above posts………………………..@AviK the attorney was wrong to say this to the jury in the death penalty phase. If the client was truly legally insane, the please should have been not guilty because of insanity. Expert testimony and evidence would be entered during the trial to prove insanity. The words of the attorney in summation hold no authority, they may influence the jury, but are not authoritative
@yytz A client may not always fire his attorney, client needs judge’s permission during trial as it may cause delay. If the plea has been one of insanity then the judge may be loathe to allow client to make decisions like this.
The client’s mental health as a mitigating factor is brought in by expert testimony, NOT simply by an attorney’s statement which is not part of the trial required to be considered by the jury.
@Joseph
Morality is a religious question, Ethical is a legal standards question in American Jurisprudence. An attorney can not cause a danger to society to be lefty free in society, the trier of fact (judge and/or jury) does that. The Defense Attorney has the ethical responsibility to advocate his best for his client. The Prosecuting Attorney should be trying to keep people whop are dangers to society off the streets.@David111
Legally binding under what court system and subject to whose penalties?In the USA, due to First Amendment Considerations…secular courts would be loathe to enforce a religious contract and could not fine or imprison a party to such a contract for non-performance.
In my area of CT, I am a Family Law Attorney and in the past 20+ years I have got Superior Court judges to approve divorce settlement language that states which party shall pay for the Beis Din/Get, but not language to require a Get be issued. They accepted my argument that the payment is merely contract law, not religious law. A party found in contempt is then subject to penalties as permitted by secular law.
“bar mitzvah lessons (parsha and haftorah) are typically $65 for 35 min once a week for a year before the bar mitzvah = approx. $3k”
Maybe in your neighborhood, not in ours.
Bar Mitzvah lessons come along with synagogue dues, here in suburban CT. They are taught either by the shul Rabbi or Educational Director (the Talmud Torah principal who deals with the members who attend public or private non-Yeshiva schools). It is customary to give the teacher a $300-500 gift at the end of the teaching. Takes about 6 months twice a week for an hour. The initial Trop classes are held for all Bar Mitzvah boys in the shul as a group. Haftorah and leyning of the specific parsha is private.Our grandsons’ day schools teach the trop to all 6th grade boys as part of regular classes.
In my day, one went to the local Hebrew Book Shop and bought a 78RPM record and the Parsha/Haftorah booklet for about $10 a set. The shul Shammos gave lessons Tuesday nights and Sunday afternoons for about $1 per lesson. My zeidy taught me and my sons. I have taught 2 of my grandsons , the others have been taught by my SILs’ fathers..they didn’t want a Litvak (Tayrah) pronunciation.Ignore
I do not like Blueberry Pie
I do not like berries in any shape or form
No Blueberries, Strawberries, Blackberries, Raspberries, Gooseberries, Huckleberries
I am an equal opportunity berry hater…no discrimination by color@iacissrmma
The CDC is not wrong. They leave the decision to the states. Then some states such as CT, pass this to local health districts (some are one municipality, some multi)
I still teach one course a semester as an adjunct in a Mass, Law School. When I teach either Local Government or Constitutional Law, I always make a point that the only government entities that exist under the constitution are the Federal and State levels. Local government is a creation of the individual states. CT did away with County Government in about 1960. Approx 6 years ago, a local town was uncooperative in building a regional Magnet High School. The Governor and State Legislature got upset with the local First Selectmen, so they simply took almost 50 acres of that town’s land and annexed it to the abutting municipality and built the school on it. The town had no standing to stop this, states can redraw boundaries at will.
Actually, that varies by the US state. Here in CT the individual health district makes the rules.
We have exchange students from China living in an apartment we own. Two attend school in one town, the other 5 miles away in a second town. One health department requires annual TB retesting One does not. One town requires meningitis shots for dorm students the other does not@Gadolhardorah
Yes, it is apples and oranges.
There is no reason to go into debt and spend beyond your means to impress others.
We certainly could afford the over the top celebrations, but think they are in bad taste and not good for the community as a whole.
OOT it is most common to hold the affair in the shul social hall which cuts cost. A weekday morning Bar Mitzvah is less expensive than a Shabbos event and typically will have far fewer shul members in attendance.It is the policy in our shul that all members are invited to a cold kiddush after Shabbos services hosted and paid for by the Boy’s family. It is held in the vestry or library. Then, invited guests only attended a full luncheon in the social hall. Motzei Shabbos were typically parties for the young people only.
This is a far cry from the affairs of my childhood during the Baby Boom. My eldest brother’s Bar Mitzvah was a three day event on Labor Day Weekend for 500 guests…BUT it was 50% business guests of my father and paid for by his business. It was a chance to entertain guests with Kosher meals and entertainment not generally available in our town.
Ridiculous waste of money.
My kids made a Bar Mitzvah celebration for their son in September. Thursday morning minyan in Shul. Herring, kichel, coffee, cake, whiskey, one waitress, paper goods, linens, etc. $300Sunday afternoon open house at home to celebrate for about 100 family and adult friends fleishige buffet. $1500. 12 kids went bowling with the Bochur Motzei Shabbos $200
Cost of Tefillin isn’t part of the equation because they are needed even if their is no simcha. We also buy a tallisI fixed a few typos. Hope I got it right
@DovidBT
If the repair to the deviated septum did not require changes to the exterior of the nose you would not have had rhinoplasty in addition to the septoplasty.
At times changes to the exterior are required to accommodate corrections to the septum or other interior parts of the nose and thus Rhinoplasty is performed as well.
Sometimes, a plastic surgeon will get the insurance company to pay for the cosmetic Rhinoplasty by stating it is necessary in order to complete medically necessary work.@Chabadshlucha
It appears you lead a sheltered or insular life.
Not all plastic surgery is for the type of Goyische vanity your describe.
Not everyone who has plastic surgery announces it to friends or family.The term plastic surgery is often assumed to mean ‘cosmetic’ surgery. In reality Cosmetic surgery is of the vanity type, while plastic surgery is of the restorative type: think burn victims, or someone who had had a disfiguring accident.
Some rhinoplasty is cosmetic, some is to repair issues such as a deviated septum.I had plastic surgery 30 years ago on my hand after large bone spurs were removed. The excess skin was removed and a seamless reattachment was made. No visible scar.
My wife knew, my parents and siblings never did
@DovidBT
as the parent of an adopted child….I can say that your method is not foolproof.@ubiquitin
I’ve always taught my law students (and my children) read every word carefully and don’t overlook simple or obvious answers by looking at a problem too deeply.
Many a legal problem can be solved quickly by just answering the question asked, not going deeper.Everyone is missing the obvious: The winner n a chess match always wins in one move…it is the final or winning move.
The OP did not ask if HaShem can win a chess match in ONLY one move.Why would a man care? Because maybe he doesn’t want to have children with noses that look like ski jumps!!!!!
I was never scared of our basement as a child. My parents bought the house brand new a month before I was born and the basement was fully finished by my father.
I am scared of the basement in our current home, at least the section under the original part of the house. It was built in 1803. There are tree trunks holding up the floors, the foundation is made of piled rocks and it has a dirt floor. Access is only through a Bilco door from the outside. It is not unusual to see signs of wildlife, especially in the winter. There is still a door for coal deliveries. I try to avoid going down there as much as possible, but last Monday, I had to change filters in one furnace and then my youngest daughter tripped a circuit breaker and I had to go reset that.
We keep nothing in the basement except the railings and pump for the swimming pool in the winter and the pool cover in the summer. The additions to the house have 3 ft high crawl spaces, not basements and I never enter those…that’s what children and grandchildren are for,
I’l give my opinion after I’ve read it……………..
Personally I think it’s a comedy about Trump and a tragedy for America
Shai
@Joseph
The business class remark was an example. The last 3 transpacific flights I took on Asian airlines had Busimess and Coach, no more First. The Business has lay flat beds in individual pods.
Domestically, most often I use Netjets. No shared armrests. Many commercial flights have shared armrests in First Class on narrowbody flights.Business Class with individual pods….no armrests to share…………..
But, in the real world: the middle person gives up so much that that person should have first rights to the armrestI disagree with the statement…………….
A father in Law should keep his mouth shut and wallet open.A good father in law keeps his ears open and only opens his mouth to give advice when asked or if he sees a truly dangerous situation.
If your child is now old enough to get married, your child is old enough to make decisions and mistakes along with his/her spouse.BTW> my mother Z”L always said a good MIL keeps her mouth shut and her refrigerator open.
@iacisrmma
No, our property is about an hour north of the hardest hit area. It was well secured with hurricane shutters and has a large back up generator (having lived through Hurricane Andrew we had upograded our storm preparedness) The Rav of the local shul called us and asked if we would let a storm dislocated family from Miami stay in our home until their home could be made habitable. They stayed until early November.RebYidd23……………………
“If someone owns a second home, they are wealthy.”
That’s quite an opinion with no facts to back it up.Many a working stiff retiree owns a Florida Condo purchased years ago for less than $15,000
They live on their Social Security and/or pensions and savings and are far from wealthy.@iacisrmma
Yes, our Florida home has internet access. It allows me to work while away from the office.
I had hoped to leave this coming Thursday for a few weeks, but as we say:
דער מענטש טראַכט און גאָט לאַכט.
Der mentsh trakht un got lakht.
Man plans and G-d laughs.They are expecting snow on Thursday, so I decided to move my flight up a day.
@mentsch1
“Owning second homes is for good business people or people who don’t have to worry about paying taxes’There is a huge difference between owning a second home and owning rental/investment property.
Investment/rental property (that you do not live in) is best owned by people with a good business head.Many non-wealthy people own 2nd homes…snowbirds who winter in Florida, or those with a bungalow in the mountains.
Back in 1981, I started buying up 1 Bedroom 1 Bath condos in Century Village, West Palm Beach, FL. I could buy them furnished for about $9,000. Plenty of low income Yidden from NYC were buying them for winter homes. They could be owned for about $3k per year maintenance and taxes. It was a stretch for many of these pensioners, but they did it. Safer and warmer than a winter in Brooklyn or the Bronx. In those days I rented my units for $400 month on year long leases furnished. All the renter had to pay was electric and telephone.
I own a second home for personal use in South Florida. It is a stand alone in a condominium development. I’ve owned it about 25 years. I like to know that I am not responsible for upkeep of the exterior. I pay a retiree , who lives in the complex year round $50 per month to check the unit inside twice each week.
Right now it’s 0 degrees here in CT. I had to be here for year end. Mrs. CTL and 10 of the kids/grandkids are enjoying the 2nd home. I hope to go south in a few weeks
I’ll take the bull by the horns and be blunt>>>>
What have you got to offer a prospective wife?
It does not sound like you are prepared to support a wife and children, equip/furnish a home and your OTD family is not a candidate to underwrite your expenses.If a prospective in-law is to be asked/expected to subsidize his daughter and son-in-law, he may not be interested in a bochur with no money and no yichus with OTD friends and family.
Mrs. CTL and I let our daughters know that we’d not be supporting sons-in-law who sat and learned while our daughters were expected to work to pay the bills. We come from the learn, then marry and earn school of thought.
It is time for a reality check, bochur. You can’t change who your family is, but you can change your friends. You may also have to change your yeshiva and associate with a new group of people.
@Joseph
I would agree that most Yeshiva Bochrim don’t have cars,BUT:
If you look at the subset of Yeshiva Bochrim who were raised in suburbia or small town America where mass transit is non existent, you will find that many of them do own/have cars. They use them to get back and forth to their parents homes, and even perhaps take part-time college classes or a part-time job. My grandsons each put in a half day each week at my brother’s NYC law practice. This provides them experience and a sense of self worth. They earn the money for their visits to the pizza shop, etc.
Some of them don’t live in the Yeshiva dorms and use them to commute. I have another grandson who drove back and forth to Yeshiva High School from the time he was 16. He now is in Mesivta and drives from home each day and will do so for the year. Next year, I”H he’ll learn in EY and there he’ll not have a car.@UncleMo
I guess I am the exception to the current rule.I don’t support sons-in-law and none of my sons were supported by their in-laws. But all of them have driven hand me down cars from Mrs. CTL and myself.
We have 2 grandsons currently learning in Yeshiva (in Brooklyn) before they go to college and professional school I”H. They are cousins, not brothers but share a car that is more than 20 years old, it belonged to my father Z”L and they are glad to have it and not be stuck using public transit. Coming from money doesn’t mean one has to be spoiled.
@geshmachecholentlover
My daily driven car meets your arithmetic it is older than half my age minus 20 by 2 years.
BUT, it is far from a Yeshivish Car…it is a Ball Baatim Luxury Import That cost 70K 14 years ago and is used about 5,000 miles per year. In the long run the cost per year is not high. I expect that I’ll drive it 20 years and then one of the grandchildren will take it.Mrs. CTL’s summer car is a 1971 Jaguar XKE V12 convertible that was purchased new. All of our children and grandchildren would love to get their hands on it.
We have never owned a minivan, but have had our share of station wagons, SUVs and crossovers. No German or Japanese vehicles for us.@DovidBT
A little uncalled for Hillary Bashing?
She din’t ride to the polls on a horse, Moore did?
She graciously offered a concession speech to Mr. Trump. Moore has refused to concede.
She didn’t file a lawsuit to overturn the election, Moore did and LOST.Want to bash Hillary? Start your own thread….no reason to trash her on this thread
I’m politically incorrect
FUR, full length with matching fur hat, cashmere lined leather gloves and scarf. Knee high fur boots (for Mrs. CTL)
Sheepskin, fur side in, fur lined gloves, hat and cashmere scarf for me.Moore is officially the loser!!!!
Time for him to get back on the horse he rode in on and get out of Dodge. Let him ride off into the sunset and never be heard or seen again.@Winnie………………
Ms. CTL who is on the way to Antarctica has spent an extra two weeks in Chile. Why? They planned to be in Argentina, but with a ship registered in Cayman Islands (British Commonwealth) they are not welcome.
Arrival in Antarctica in about 2 weeks…then on to South Africa (R&R) and a flight home.As for Rabbi of Crawley’s claim of no crime in Gibraltar…it’s not so. Those apes on the rock will steal your lunch right out of your hand, as well as the hat off your head.
The British Empire ended with India’s independence. The Emperor George VI was then merely a king. RoC seems to be living in the past
NO…trump (no capital T as the OP wrote) did NOT win. The election was in 2016.
@Yehudayona
Mennonites do drive motor vehicles. They are often employed by the Amish as drivers when an Amish person/family must make a trip requiring motorized transportation.@Syaglchochma
My comment about the increase in the personal exemptions being meaningless to me as we have no dependents was in reaction to a post on the parallel thread to this where it was stated a typical frum family with 8 children would do better with the increased personal exemptions than they did itemizing.I live in a mature community. It grew as a suburb during the white flight of the late 1960s and early 70s. Very few frum families are left with children of the age who are still dependents on parents’ tax returns. Our last married in August and 2017 will be the final return where we and the in-laws can claim the children on our returns.
The talk at shul this Shabbos kiddush was how many of us will make our Florida homes our main abode. Establish homestead status to lower property tax in Fla, be guaranteed no state income tax under the FL Constitution, sell our CT homes and just come north for a month for the Yomin Noraim (as my parents did for 25 years.I’ve been looking at the local zoning and tax codes and I could turn our compound into 5 unit condominium development with amenities with each unit sold having a property tax under 8K. It is a serious consideration.
Most people don’t make cash charitable contributions because they are tax deductible. They still could cost you 70 cents in the dollar. Yes, there is a push to maximize deductions for most middle income taxpayers in 2017>>>charitable deductions, prepay property taxes, etc.
In some cases, it is not the loss of itemization (I’ll still qualify) but the reduction in deductions for property and state income taxes that will cause a huge tax bite and lower my charitable contributions in 2018.
The increase in the standard deduction is pretty meaningless for Mrs. CTL and myself, we have no dependents. But we’ll lose the deduction for more than $40,000 in state and local taxes we have now, added to other changes our tax bill on the same income (and as a self employed professional I can control my taxable earnings) will increase more than $20,000. That is $20,000 that will not be given to tzedakah in 2018. We have reached the stage in life that we give away almost all of our expendable income. As a family law/trust attorney, I was able to set up and fund trusts for my progeny and old age and it is the community who benefits from my current work.
I have mentioned before that an average 4 BR colonial on 3/4 acre minimum zoning in our middle class residential town has an average tax bill of $13K. Since passage of the tax bill, asking prices for such houses have declined approx 6% (Mrs. CTL is a realtor and these figures are from the CT MLS for current listings in our town). Few people usually list their homes for sale this time of year, but new listings are up as well.
@Yehudayona
I posted that a picture ID was required to open a bank account in CT. If you are opening an account with an on-line bank based elsewhere you are NOT opening it in CT, it doesn’t matter of you live in CT, you sign an agreement that the bank regulations of the bank’s state apply.The last on-line bank account I opened required that I send an image of my CT driver’s license
@Yehudayona
CT asks voters to show a photo ID at the poling place, but it is NOT a requirement. A voter can refuse and simply fill out and swear/affirm to an affidavit and may vote.In CT you must have a photo ID in order to open a bank account.
Different jurisdictions have different rules….don’t think that your state’s rules apply across the USA, they don’t.
This year there was a tie vote in the Democratic Primary for City Council in the 133rd District in Bridgeport, Connecticut’s largest city. This is in the North End, the last area of Bridgeport with a Jewish presence
Winning the primary is tantamount to winning the general election.
The following morning it was announced that an uncounted absentee ballot was found and the incumbent was declared the winner by one vote.
This was taken to court and the one absentee ballot that miraculously appeared ruled invalid.
A new election was ordered.
Second time around, absentee ballots that arrived without postmarks, delivered by a policeman were challenged in court. The second election was thrown out.
The new City Council was sworn into office and began work the first wee of December, but the 133rd faces a February primary for representation. The judge ordered a third election.Had one more citizen voted in person at the polls in September, there would have been a winner. Primary turnout was only about 10%.
@Neville
I said I DON”T live in Greenwich/Stanford. They in fact have lower tax rates than my town. They have much more business property being taxed than my sleepy residential town.