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Ex-CTLawyerParticipant
It won’t be any of the declared Republicans
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantCharliehall….
Catholic High Schools receive support from the diocese and other parishes that do not maintain schools. Our local Catholic High School charges $14,450 tuition (which is right in line with what our town spends on public school students).
One of the biggest differences in funding the church and its agencies and Jewish institutions is that: When goyim go to church on Sunday they are expected to be carrying money and place it in the collection baskets/envelopes. When most Jews attend shul (Shabbos/Yuntif) it is assur to carry money and only pledges may be collected.
Because Catholic churches and schools are under the authority of a Diocese, failing institutions may be ordered to merge or close. There is no central Jewish authority telling under enrolled yeshivas or shuls that they must merge for economy reasons. Also, There does not exist the doctrinal differences that make so many flavors of Yeshivos desirable.
December 28, 2015 1:42 pm at 1:42 pm in reply to: Do You Allow Your Spouse To Read All Your E-Mails? #1120047Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI’ve already answered this and explained the ethical restraints my professional license puts on my communications and their privacy privilege.
That stated:
You may choose to let your spouse read your outgoing email, BUT you may not have richus of the sender to let your spouse read your received email.
The sender has an expectation of privacy in addressing the email to you, as opposed to mailing a letter addressed to the XXXX family.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantLesschumras………………
You are correct, fingers typing faster than mind was moving
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantAbba_S-It is very different in NY from out of town!
My maternal grandparents are in King David-Elmont, My paternal line is in MT. Hebron-Queens. In those cemeteries, many synagogues own sections for their members.
Here in Connecticut, virtually every synagogue owns its own cemetery. The local Jewish Funeral Director owns 2 cemeteries that I know of. One of my childhood friends owns a cemetery in New Haven that was started by his grandfather in 1920.
Local Jewish Federations in CT and Massachusetts have had to take over derelict cemeteries—owned by defunct shuls or landsleit with no surviving members, money or interest.
The rules, customs and laws vary by state and area.
December 27, 2015 4:47 pm at 4:47 pm in reply to: Do You Allow Your Spouse To Read All Your E-Mails? #1120020Ex-CTLawyerParticipantNO, as an attorney it would violate the Ethics rules. I have to screen emails sent to my personal email accounts to make sure that they are not from clients or contain privileged communications.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph,
I maintain a membership in the shul in whose cemetery my parents are buried, and where I expect my siblings will eventually be buried. If I let the membership lapse, my plot(s) will be forfeited to the shul.
We pay dues to the shul in whose cemetery my wife’s father is buried and where her mother will eventually lie. This is because my wife has expressed a desire to be there.
Personally, I’d rather be with my grandparents and great grandparents in the family plot in Queens, but as most of the family is in CT, it would be more convenient for the living if we were eventually interred here.
All my grandparents are buried in NY. My parents moved to CT in 1952. They made annual visits to the NY cemeteries. My parents are buried in New Haven, I visit their graves at least once each month. Being a country person, I also am likely to put garden tools in the car and trim/care for the graves when I visit. I can’t imagine my cousins schlepping on the #7 train to MT Hebron with tools to clean up our grandparents graves…and the quality of perpetual care is poor.
Joseph—the Chevra Kedisha may manage to bury a mais without a prepaid plot quickly, but it is usually in a next in line plot, and not necessarily in a particular organization, shul or family plot.
Here, if you don’t have a prepaid plot and need the Chevra Kedisha to handle it, the mais usually ends up in the Hebrew Free Burial Society cemetery, or a small cemetery owned by the funeral director. Otherwise the family had better be prepared to fork over thousands for a plot in a particular cemetery before the grave is opened.
Cemeteries and Shuls are also businesses and have rules and fiscal responsibilities to their members. The chances of collecting qucickly or at all for a plot that has been used before payment is received is not very good…and no judge will order a disinterment for non-payment, even if halacha allowed such a thing.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantnfgo……..
You point out very important things:
“so many learners are coming out of Kollel with little or no skill in the high-earning professions”
Today, high earners are in highly specialized professions. Medicine, law, technology,etc.
Gone are the days of the post WWII boom, when American Jewish businessmen/women could make substantial livings as small manufacturers/retailers and repair people. My great grandfather manufactured Neckties in NYC, My Grandfather (his son-in-law) , manufactured dress shirts, other sons in-law made suits, coats and ladies garments. My father’s generation opened regional clothing store chains and sold the products manufactured by the family.
Today, most manufacturing is done overseas in huge cheap labor factories. You can’t start a business on the cheap. Independent regional retailing chains have been gobbled up or destroyed by the national chains. Regional department stores no longer exist. Low internet pricing has destroyed the advantage some independents had (providing individual service).
I may be the oddball here…because I chose to live out of town (as I was raised) and sent my kids to Yeshiva, but insisted that they go on to college and professional schools (both boys and girls) in order that they be able to provide for themselves and their progeny.
This is not to say that I would not support a son or son-in law while learning if he desired…BUT unless we have a substantial Baal Batim class our institutions will not survive.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipant@Mashiach Agent
This Family Law/Estate Planning/Trust Attorney will tell you that in the US a decedent’s wishes for burial expressed in a will are meaningless under the law.
The decedent has no control over his her body when dead. The executor/trix makes decisions.
FURTHERMORE, it may take quite some time to get a court order to open a safe deposit box and access a will, or a court order to enforce provisions before going through the probate process. If Chas V’shalom someone is niftar on Shabbos, and a Sunday burial in order the family can’t wait for banks and courts to open on Monday.
My great Grandfather bought plots for all his expected descendants (100+) in the family foundation cemetery back in 1919. I still pay annual dues and am a trustee, but doubt I’ll ever be interred there. However, my eldest son and family make NY their home and might eventually join the family (in another 100+ years).
Outside NYC, synagogues typically own their own cemeteries and plots are often included as part of one’s membership costs. In fact, many synagogues are able to retain dues paying members (who never attend that shul) because members want to be buried with their families. Not uncommon to belong to two or three shuls for this reason.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantJoseph…………
Far more in big cities such as NY than in modern, spacious buildings elsewhere.
Outside NYC government health departments are far more stringent when it comes to inspections, especially of institutions.
I served a term on our local Health District board. The director of public health even shut down the kitchens in our public high school when they did not meet standards. They were put back in order in less than 72 hours and now have monthly inspections. not semi-annually.
The assisted living center my mother OBM lived in her final years, no longer has an independent cook under a mashgiach. Instead it is professionally run by Sodexo (the institutional arm of Marriott) with true professionals under full time rabbinical supervision. Much cleaner, healthier meals and lower costs based on economy of scale.
Our area Jewish Federation is considering a central commissary to provide centrally prepared meals for serving by day schools, yeshivos, meals on wheels, senior centers, day camps, etc. All these constituent agencies who accept Federation money could be well served by professional food service and reduced cost/higher quality meals.
December 27, 2015 12:39 am at 12:39 am in reply to: Are the girls causing their own shidduch crisis?? #1120610Ex-CTLawyerParticipantDaasYochid…………..
I didn’t hang up because he is the relative of my daughter in law. Not worth causing my son a problem.
I have told the story before of how a High School rebbi called me to set me up with a girl who would be in my town for one day only–for a bris. When I finished laughing, I told my wife that my rebbi wanted to fix me up with her sister.
He didn’t know that I had married and had a son. It was more than 10 years since I’d seen him, he only knew that I was the only male he was acquainted with from my town and that this young lady was going to be there for a simcha–so he took a shot.
About 6 months later, I fixed my sister in law up with a former Yeshiva roommate of mine (now a CPA). They are B”H married more than 35 years with children and grandchildren.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantBramo………
It’s ALL about cost. There are many restaurants feeding far more people in a meal’s time serving great, fresh food. BUT they are not doing it for $2-3 per meal.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantBramo…
I think you meant to write the quality of the ingredients.
Quantity doesn’t matter is the quality is no good. Large portions of bad food is not the answer.
December 27, 2015 12:08 am at 12:08 am in reply to: Are the girls causing their own shidduch crisis?? #1120606Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI have just started reading this thread, as I got a phone call from a schadchan 5 minutes ago. He said to me that he just heard I have a daughter turning 19 soon and she must be desperate for a husband.
After I finished laughing, I asked about how he got my private phone number and his background. He said he got the number from my eldest daughter-in-law. She is a cousin and he was trolling relatives for referrals. I was told that because we live out of town he will only charge $500 for an initial meeting and then negotiate a set fee for a shidduch.
I replied that I am a successful attorney and that initial consultations are always free, then if the potential client is interested, we discuss rates and sign an ‘engagement letter.’
There was dead silence and then I hears a dial tone.
There is no reason to pay a schadchan for an initial consultation. That meeting is you giving the shadchan your time at no cost to pitch his/her services.
BTW>>>My not yet 19 year old is in no hurry to find a chason. This family sends girls to get a college and professional degree after the post high school seminary experience. Her 24 year old sister is finishing law school this month, she and her chuson taking the February Bar exams, chasunah in early April and I”H joining my firm in June.
Two sons married, eldest daughter married, middle daughter engaged. Not a single one used a professional shadchan. The old boys and old girls yeshiva/seminary/summer camp network did its job well.
BTW>>>My parents met working at nearby summer camps in 1930. I met my wife in 1970 while we were working at summer camps and were fixed up by the director and his wife.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantThe Donald is a Quack
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantThis complaint is universal when applied to Institutional food. Yeshiva, public school cafeterias, colleges, hospitals, summer camps, nursing homes………
Add the additional costs of kosher, glatt kosher, cholov Yisroel, pas Yisroel and the cost per meal escalates or the quality/variety/quantity must be lowered.
When I was on the board of a day school in the 1990s, we had complaints that the children had not been served meat in three straight months. We had approved and paid bills for many cases of chicken. Turns out, the chicken was being taken home by those staff members who also housed out of town kids and used to feed the staff family and the students suppers and shabbos meals.
Only when the school accepted government lunch funds (and government surplus foods) were lunches required to meet Type A standards for protein, vegetables, starch, sugar and fat.
Gone were the days of May lunches made of fried matzo (bought when the supermarkets marked it down to 10 cents per pound) made without eggs and phony powdered ‘no fruit juice’ punch.
It is up to parents to get involved and insist on healthy meals at Yeshivas, not to say we suffered through it, so can our kids.
BTW…this all ties into the thread about Yeshiva tuition. Day schools need at least $5 per day to feed kids a balanced kosher lunch (no one wants pasta every day), a teen-aged yeshiva bochur easily costs $100 or more per week to feed in a dormitory situation.
For a reality check: Typical college treif meal plans (19 meals per week-brunch on weekends, not breakfast and lunch) cost about $3000 per semester. The average semester is about 14 weeks…that works out to more than $200 per week.
Some colleges have kosher dining which accepts the meal plan. If attending a college with private kosher dining you can expect to pay double.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI’d like to make some observations and give some perspective on costs of public education and day school/yeshiva tuition.
I live in CT. Some of you know that I am involved in local government. Our town’s education budget (which is middle of the road) is such that the annual per pupil cost is $14,000.
Area (within one hour drive, but inside CT) day school/yeshiva tuition averages $20,000 per student per year.
Students living more than one mile away (in the same town/city as the public school or Jewish school) get transportation provided by the municipality. The towns also pick up the cost of school nurse and many secular textbooks at the Jewish schools.
Public schools pay their staff substantially higher wages.
Why should it cost 25% less to educate a public school student? Yeshivos/Day Schools don’t enjoy economies of scale. They don’t have 1,000-3,000 students in a typical school building. Classes don’t usually have 25-29 students as in public schools. A Yeshiva might need to order 25 copies of a high school math textbook, our high school would need 600. The quantity price is much lower. The same applies to most purchases. The Yeshiva’s grounds will not be maintained (grass cut, snow plowed) by the town’s dept. of public works, etc.
Also, when a Yeshiva buys or builds a school they need to raise all the money to cover the cost. Our state reimburses municipalities about 50% of the cost of new school construction.
Outside NY, Yeshivas/Day schools must be accredited to issue recognizable diplomas and no one would send their children to a school that did not issue such a diploma. This requires that the teachers of secular subjects be certified and qualified, AND that the required class hours of instruction actually take place. My state even mandates how many hours of Physical Education each child receives by grade range.
Having been on the board of three different day schools/yeshivos, I can state that the tuition does not cover the per student cost. It is necessary to constantly fund-raise to cover overhead and improvements.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI grew up listening to Art Raymond on WEVD….My Zaidy was an advertiser on the station and therefore it was kept on to monitor commercials. Before taking over the WHN 1050 spot, WEVD was on 1330 AM. My older brother remembers them on 1220 AM before that.
WEVD was known as the ‘station that speaks your language’ no matter what language you spoke. It was started by the Socialist Party in 1927. Later it was the radio station of the Forvertz. A good number of the WEVD radio personalities were from the 2nd Ave Yiddish theatre and are buried in MT Hebron Cemetery in Queens.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantThe good thing was that my MIL’s Knaidel that was so tough that I needed to cut it with a K-Nife was a K-Leine Knaidel.
I washed it down with a Koffee from a K-Cup made in my Keurig.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantMy MIL’s knaidel was so tough I had to cut it with a K-Nife
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI read your comment about tailors and must weigh in.
Machine operators who make garments in factories are not tailors. They perform certain specialized operations using specific machines. One sews on buttons, one makes button holes, one hems bottoms with a blind stitch machine while another sews long seams with an interlock/merrow machine.
I grew up in the garment trade and ran a sewing floor summers while in College and law school.
Tailors on the other hand, can make a complete garment. They can take your measurements, make a pattern, cut and drape and finish the garment. This is far more skill than a seamstress or machine operator. Tailors command premium wages.
I do not wear off the rack clothing. My suits, dress shirts and slacks are custom made for me (it’s important that I look good for business purposes). My tailor charges accordingly and lives a lifestyle of the upper middle class.
A tailor today is not like the schneider in the alte heim. It is a highly skilled profession learned by years of apprenticeship.
December 16, 2015 11:31 am at 11:31 am in reply to: Parents visiting married children uninvited at night??? #1117065Ex-CTLawyerParticipantBTW>>>>
I posted earlier with our solution to this problem.
A good part of my practice is family law. This is not a Jewish problem, it is a universal problem. Many marriages have suffered from unscheduled parental visits and interference in the younger generation’s lives.
An earlier post made reference to situations where the parents are still supporting the married couple. Financial support does not mean that the parent has the right to intrude physically at will.
Each member of the couple must voice concerns to his/her own parents and establish working rules/parameters for visits.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI don’t think the ‘us’ really means frum Jews. I think it is you big city dwellers who don’t come into direct contact with many dogs while growing up (due to the hardships of raising a dog in an apartment).
Those of us who grew up ‘out of town’ were used to most single family dwellers having dogs. In the 1950s and 60s dogs were routinely allowed to run loose…no leash laws enforced and in my immediate neighborhood I don’t remember a single home without at least one dog, including the Rav of our shul.
We have 4 dogs and a cat. They don’t eat commercial animal food, so kashrut is not a problem. They run in a fenced in yard, so walking them on Shabbos is not an issue either.
It is always amusing when our kids brought home friends from Yeshiva or seminary to see the ‘big city dwellers reaction to the dogs. First fear, then leariness, then patting and playing with the dogs. Finally not wanting to leave because they became enamored with the dogs.
One other observation: many parents in low income homes cast negativity about dogs to their children. It is hard enough to feed the family without all the added expense of a pet.
December 11, 2015 9:28 pm at 9:28 pm in reply to: Parents visiting married children uninvited at night??? #1117040Ex-CTLawyerParticipant45 years ago we had to deal with this with my parents and in-laws.
We set the following rule: When you pull in our driveway and the living room shade is down, do NOT ring the bell. If the shade is up you are welcome to visit.
Taught the same rule to my married children.
Works fine in the land of single family homes. Not in apartment buildings.
December 10, 2015 10:03 pm at 10:03 pm in reply to: Invited to the Wedding Feast, not the Ceremony-would you be offended? #1143004Ex-CTLawyerParticipantPopa
as my first Tax Professor taught me. First you worry about making the money, then let the professionals handle the taxes.
as my father Z”L taught me: “You’ve got to make it to pay it.”
There are many ways to structure the sale of my practice that will not have major tax consequences. I’d rather have the proceeds less the tax bite, than just have one child and in-law end up with it all and have bad feelings among the siblings and their spouses.
B”H money isn’t everything, there are other considerations.
December 10, 2015 11:53 am at 11:53 am in reply to: Invited to the Wedding Feast, not the Ceremony-would you be offended? #1142999Ex-CTLawyerParticipantDaasYochid…
you have misread my post. I wrote that I did not want the next generation going into my business, NOT that I didn’t want them going into my profession. If I didn’t want that, I would not have paid for daughter’s college and law school.
I had planned to sell my practice to my existing associates, and become ‘Of Counsel’ handling whatever little work I wanted in my retirement. When a child comes into your business, the opportunity for sale is generally lost. They end up with the business and it can create resentment among the other siblings who do not get a piece of the value of the business.
Joseph/Comlink…I would hope you have better things to do than try to find my real name, etc.
December 10, 2015 2:58 am at 2:58 am in reply to: Invited to the Wedding Feast, not the Ceremony-would you be offended? #1142995Ex-CTLawyerParticipantDaas
I don’t give exact dates for a reason (some semblance of anonymity). It will actually be a few days after the year. I wouldn’t want my siblings to have restrictions.
Also, it will be better weather for the outdoor chuppah, etc in our gardens than Feb or March and less concern about travel to NYC in winter snow.
4 months is not a long time to plan and execute these events. Shopping and fittings for the ladies will take quite some time. The children’s home will be ready by then, and against my better judgment, they’ll both be taking the February CT Bar Exam (they are already admitted in NY). I didn’t want the next generation going into my business, but as I’m thinking about retirement, it might no be so terrible to have them work for me. That way, they’ll stay local. This will keep my wife and her mother very happy.
December 9, 2015 9:27 pm at 9:27 pm in reply to: Invited to the Wedding Feast, not the Ceremony-would you be offended? #1142992Ex-CTLawyerParticipantGeordie613
I had a telephone conversation with 2 of my 3rd cousins and their 96 year old mother today This is when land line phones with extensions are better than cell phones). The mother is one of the few remaining of my parents’ generation on my father’s side.
The consensus is that the 3rd cousins would not be offended. They would make the effort to travel if invited, but if they only were attending in NYC, they could bring their mother. The female cousin was the most practical: Her wisdom: “If I have to come to CT for the Chuppah and luncheon, then to an evening affair in NYC, I need 2 new outfits, and maybe a 4 O’Clock appointment at the salon, for a comb out and a color change on my nails. The men just need to change to a fresh white shirt.”
On the other hand, My wife and non-Kallah daughters and Daughters-in law are thrilled to shop for different outfits, wigs, accessories for the two events.
The decision is made.
There will be an intimate chuppah and luncheon in our home on a Sunday in early April followed by a feast for 325 that night in NYC.
If anyone is offended by only being invited to the evening celebration, he/she is welcome to send back the reply card marked ‘will not attend’
BTW>>>Before someone comments on it being a long engagement, I stop saying kaddish for my mother Z”L in late March.
December 8, 2015 11:46 pm at 11:46 pm in reply to: Invited to the Wedding Feast, not the Ceremony-would you be offended? #1142990Ex-CTLawyerParticipantGolfer……..
Yes, my third cousins would drive from NY or NJ to CT to attend the chupah and luncheon if they were invited. They know me well, they know my wife slightly, they have never met my daughter. They know me well because I am on the family cemetery committee and have attended quarterly meetings in NY for more than 50 years.
I would be more than happy to entertain them in NY in the evening at a time when I can spend substantial time enjoying time with my guests. From experience with older children’s chasunot, my time was occupied with Tisch, Contracts, Photographer, etc. At night all I have to do is get in/out of the limo, make a short speech and write a large check. My wife would also be under far less pressure.
December 8, 2015 11:34 am at 11:34 am in reply to: Invited to the Wedding Feast, not the Ceremony-would you be offended? #1142987Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI Shmorg (shmorgasbord) is a buffet period before a formal sit down dinner when all sorts of hot and cold appetizers are served along with alcoholic drinks.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI’ve put on my bulletproof vest……………
Is tipping the rebbi or morah only an in-town thing…where competition/school choice keeps tuition and payroll lower than out of town.
Here in the sticks, tuition for K-12 tends to runs about 15K per year and there is usually one institution per community. Staff tends to command a better/higher wage than in NYC as an inducement to live out of town. Living costs are also substantially lower.
I never tipped my childrens’ rebbeim or morot, and I never heard other parents discussing doing so either. A token gift (not money) was usually given at Chanukkah, Pesach and end of school year.
Back in the 1960s when all teachers (public and private) received near starvation wages, my father and other area merchants tended to provide clothing and household merchandise to yeshiva/day school faculty (and their family) at cost or free. We were in the parochial school uniform business (among other clothing lines) and those staff members never received a bill for their children’s school uniforms.
December 4, 2015 5:44 pm at 5:44 pm in reply to: Invited to the Wedding Feast, not the Ceremony-would you be offended? #1142984Ex-CTLawyerParticipanttrying
The relatives on the NY only list are a minimum of 3rd cousins to the kallah or chasan. In almost every case parents or aunt/uncle would have to explain the family connection…they would not recognise each other on sight.
Not close friends/acquaintances might have been classmates/bunkmates a minimum of 6 years ago, or people the parents do some business with and are invitation obligations, not social friends.
I have 2 siblings, and only 1 niece and nephew, wife has 1 sibling and no nieces and nephews. No aunts/uncles or first cousins on the chasan’s side.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantAvi.. Joe Lieberman started as a State Senator her in CT representing my home district in New Haven, the State AG. Then US Senator.
I worked in his original primary campaign more than 45 years ago. (Along with both Bill and Hillary).
Nechomah..I’m aware of the calendar. Which is why this year I’m volunteering on the 24th, not 25th. There is no restriction from working on the first night of Chanukah if not Shabbos.
December 4, 2015 2:48 pm at 2:48 pm in reply to: Invited to the Wedding Feast, not the Ceremony-would you be offended? #1142981Ex-CTLawyerParticipantGlad you were impressed, but has nothing to do with the question asked.
Cost is not an issue in this case.
Not close relative or family friend, would you be offended if invite dto an in town feast, not the actual out of town chuppah?
December 4, 2015 11:12 am at 11:12 am in reply to: Invited to the Wedding Feast, not the Ceremony-would you be offended? #1142979Ex-CTLawyerParticipantThe 200 figure outside is using a tent.
Same invitation is NOT a consideration. Guests will either be invited to a chasunah or to a celebration in honor of a chasunah.
Many are making suggestions and mean well, but the question asked is ‘would you be offended if you were not a close relative or family friend and were not invited to the out of town chuppah/luncheon, but an in-town wedding feast that night?’
December 4, 2015 1:44 am at 1:44 am in reply to: Invited to the Wedding Feast, not the Ceremony-would you be offended? #1142977Ex-CTLawyerParticipantYou understand most of the question.
My daughter wants the small chuppah and meal in CT. There is a maximum of 85 people who can be accommodated indoors or 200 outdoors. This would more than handle close relatives and close friends.
The NY Feast that evening would be for the 300-400 extended family relations and not so close friends (former classmates, bunkmates from summer camp) and acquaintances.
Inviting that list to the chuppah would not work, because if even 30% decided to make the drive we could not physically fit them in addition to the original chuppah/meal list.
If I had my way, the chuppah/meal would be in CT and We’d host a lavish Shevah Brochos in NYC during the week.
BUT, as my girls know: Daddy will pay, but mommy and the girls decide.
Now, If you were a 3rd cousin of the Kallah or Chasan (you share common great-great grandparents) would you be offended if you were not invited to an out of town chuppah and luncheon, but an in-town wedding feast that same night?
BTW>>>all invitations will have words to the effect that no wedding gifts be given, but Tzedaka given in the name of the couple would be appreciated. B”H the couple does not need material gifts or money from guests.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantflatbusher…………
My comment showed that there are many levels of government and your supposition is not universal.
If I lived in B’nei Brak or a similar community, wouldn’t want my local politicians to be Frum?
December 3, 2015 5:13 pm at 5:13 pm in reply to: Invited to the Wedding Feast, not the Ceremony-would you be offended? #1142974Ex-CTLawyerParticipantIf I had a question about halacha, I wouldn’t be asking it here. OI labeled the evening affair a wedding feast, because it is a feast given in honor of a marriage. That fact that there may also be be Sheva Brachos is incidental to the question posed.
The son in law to be likes whatever my daughter likes and whatever I’m paying for.
It seems to be a ‘girl’ thing…they get off on watching the Kallah in her gown come down the aisle to the chuppah.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantI have read all about the issues in the NY state legislature. My position on a small town legislative council does not present those opportunities for major graft. Our yearly budget is less than a day’s budget in NY. No member gets paid, we even provide/bring our own coffee, water bottles, pens, pads, etc. to meetings.
This is a town without sidewalks and no municipal garbage pickup, where neighbors help neighbors, without being asked.
@Joseph…it would be wrong in most instances, and I’ve never requested special treatment. That said the town does maintain a list of first responders and those streets are usually plowed early.
@Zahavasdad……..
Mayors don’t sign off on plows going out to plow. The department head of the Public Works Department or Highways Department authorizes crews. The money is budgeted annually. If money runs out, the streets still get plowed and that department comes before the Board of Finance for a supplemental appropriation. We don’t have a Jewish Chief Exec in our Town, but a press conference for a police issue (shooting, etc.) would be handled by the Police Chief and maybe a member of the Board of Police Commissioners (volunteer position).
No one needs the mayor for these things in big cities, they show up because they like the TV/Press attention and sound bites.
Our Town has a two day festival in the late spring. I don’t attend Shabbos, I volunteer on Sunday.
December 24th, I work a volunteer night shift handling calls in our 911 center so some non-Jewish town employee can spend the evening with his/her family.
The lower and more local the level of politics, the less of a problem it is for a frum Jew to be involved.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantThis small town legislator and lawyer doesn’t agree with you. I receive no remuneration for serving on my Town Council. There is virtually no opportunity for g’nava. Maybe I could get my street plowed first, if I called the head of the Department of Public Works.
I represent all the people in my district, most of whom are not Jewish, never mind frum. I have a major investment in property in this town and serving protects my investment.
Voters know me as me, not as an alien ‘religious jew’ in strange clothing who speaks with an accent. I have no political asperations of a higher level.
My law practice is generally wills, trusts, contracts and pro bono Juvenile law. Judges in Connecticut (with the exception of Probate) are appointed, not elected. I turned down a judgeship years ago…besides the religious problems, I wouldn’t want a cut in income.
Even frum Jews need legal representation, why shouldn’t their lawyer be a religious Jew?
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantYes I think most sushi is vile, same with sashimi
I don’t like fish.
I still cure (pickle) my own corned beef brisket. Usually three weeks in the barrel/brine before cooking.
I also smoke my own pastrami, sausages, turkey, etc.
Some of the benefits of living in the country
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantMy wife and daughters eat herring, I can’t stand it.
November 26, 2015 7:19 pm at 7:19 pm in reply to: Legal Studies Student – Aspiring for Lawyer #1113875Ex-CTLawyerParticipantNovember 26, 2015 6:30 pm at 6:30 pm in reply to: Legal Studies Student – Aspiring for Lawyer #1113872Ex-CTLawyerParticipantPopa……….
Those days ended with the Bush Great Recession of 2007/8
There are very few top tier Wall Street or White Shoe law firms hiring the top 2% of graduates from the top 10 Law schools at 6 figure salaries. This especially goes for frum first year associates who would not slave away and bill thousands of hours because of Shabbos and Yuntif restrictions.
Graduates of second tier and public law schools who have passed the bar are hungry for work and not find much of it. There have been many articles about this in the NY Times in the past couple of years.
Add the fact that government in many jurisdictions has laid off attorneys or has hiring freezes…and there is a bleak outlook for most new members of the bar.
The OP has no name brand college degree, and likely will not have an Ivy League/Stanford/U Michigan law degree….unless he is taken into a family firm his prospects are slim. Even if taken into a family firm, he will not start at top salaries (as earned in the 80s and 90s).
I have a small firm (by choice). I occasionally hire a starting associate (often as a favor for a friend or client). Generally they are not Jewish. This allows coverage on days when I cannot work. Not all judges are good about scheduling motion hearings and other minor appearances around religious schedules.
Today’s clients expect a quick call back when the call or email, not after a 2 day yuntif followed by Shabbos and courts closed on Sunday.
November 26, 2015 1:53 pm at 1:53 pm in reply to: Legal Studies Student – Aspiring for Lawyer #1113869Ex-CTLawyerParticipantYour Legal Studies degree is pretty worthless as a precursor to law school, unless you work as a paralegal for about 5 years and then apply to law school.
Get a BS in Economics, History, Psychology, Math, etc. Do well on the LSAT exam, pay lots of money and don’t plan on making the kind of money that was possible 20 years ago.
There is a glut of lawyers on the market. The availability of low cost on-line forms, etc. has taken away much of the bread and butter work for lawyers.
You would likely earn far more as a good paralegal than a starting lawyer.
I know that I pay my closings (Real Estate) and wills and trusts paralegals approx 100K. I can get all the first and second year associates I want from good law schools for 45k. The paralegals then have to teach the new associates the real nuts and bolts of law work–forms, filing, calendar tracking, etc.
This advice is from someone who has been in this for years and has convinced his children not to come into the family profession.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantIn 1975, I remember my paternal grandmother complaining that her building on Ocean Parkway was going Schvarze.
I didn’t see any black people and questioned this…………….
Her reply: Black Hat
The yeshiva crowd was moving in
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantNot weird at all.
My wife and I were talking about 3 weeks ago and realized that each of us has been driving for more than 45 years. Between us we’ve owned more than 50 cars.
Definitely not your NYC Cliff Dwellers. Here in the burbs it is very common to own more than one car per person, not per family.
November 25, 2015 1:46 pm at 1:46 pm in reply to: New England Patriots,. A Class Organization #1113615Ex-CTLawyerParticipant@daasyochid
They were always a class organization. Not all their employees are classy.
Disclosure: I hate football, but have had business dealings with the Krafts. I also know the Schwartz grandparents and the father of Ezra.
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantwon….a seat on the municipal legislative council
Ex-CTLawyerParticipantremind me in 2 years..
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