DaMoshe

Chaim, it’s not just luxuries that people spend on. Tuition has increased exponentially since our parents were raising us, and it’s a crushing burden. With lots more families having 2 working parents, often 2 cars are needed in order to commute to work.
There’s also housing costs. I saw a study that compared house prices from 1965 through 2021. They adjusted for inflation. House prices rose 118% from 1965 to 2021, even adjusting for the inflation. Income only rose 15.5%. In 1965, the ratio of avg house price to avg income was about 4.5. Currently, it’s about 7.33. So paying for the same size home that our parents had is costing us significantly more than it cost them.
I agree about fancy vacations, and indulging on fancy foods. If you can’t pay full tuition for your kids, you have no business spending money on a fancy trip. I get that people need vacations to relax, but there are affordable options. You don’t need to fly the whole family to Israel.
At the end of the day, let’s all just remember that all our money comes from Hashem. You want to ensure financial well-being? Make sure to give maaser. It’s guaranteed to help your finances. And don’t forget to daven. Davening and doing mitzvos accomplish more than any segulah for parnassah out there.

I’ve seen both sides of this.
I have a friend, who I’ve known since I was young. He is now in his 40s, and has never been on a single date. He doesn’t want to get married. Why? Because his parents can’t stand each other. They constantly fight. But they live in a chassidish community, and were told that divorce is not an option, so they stayed married. He did not see a healthy relationship between his parents, all he saw is fighting, so now he doesn’t want his life to be like that. So he refuses to date at all.

On the flip side, I have a close friend who got divorced. They had one daughter together before they split. It was not an easy split for him, and he had a lot of tough feelings towards his ex-wife. But he told me, “I put those feelings aside, and I deal with her as nicely as I can, because we have a child together, and she is the main priority. We have shared custody, and she sees how we interact with each other. So I treat my ex respectfully, because that’s what is best for my daughter.”

Sadly, there are cases where a child is used as a pawn against one parent in a divorce. But that doesn’t mean the divorce is wrong – the actions of the parent are the issue, not the divorce itself.

In some cases, a parent may claim that a child is being used against them, or that there is parental alienation. Sometimes, removing one parent from the kid’s life was a decision made by a beis din or a court, for the child’s best interests, but the parent can’t accept that. So they start a social media campaign, trying to paint the other parent as a monster, to put public pressure on them. That too is wrong.

Kevin McCarthy is only 58. Not all that old.

Joseph, why so-called?

Sam, the Mishna says that there are 4 different Roshei Shanim. Nisan is one of them, and it is used for counting the months, as it says straight in the pasuk. Tishrei is when the world was created, so as far counting the age of the world, we go from there.
Saying DIRECTLY FROM HASHEM all in caps all the time doesn’t make your argument any more convincing – if anything, it leads me to think you’re just not entirely rational. In modern times, the only things we have which are clearly directly from Hashem are the words of the Torah. Nevuah is long gone. The messages we receive from Hashem now are done indirectly – it’s up to us to see them.
Yes, 9/11 was a message from Hashem, but it had nothing to do with any numbers or anything like that. If it was meant to be connected to Tisha b’Av, it would have occurred on Tisha b’Av.

Kugel, as I mentioned earlier, I won’t read the book because it contains kefirah. If you want to study the New Testament so that you could properly understand Christianity’s arguments before dismissing them, then I’d say you have a right to ask that we read your book.
As for other possibilities for Mashiach if he can come from the dead, well then, R’ Akiva thought that Bar Kochba was Mashiach. Maybe that’s who it would be? I’d trust R’ Akiva more than any Chabadnik – more than anyone alive today, honestly.

Joseph, I don’t think you’re in denial, I think you’re just trolling. You know full well that this is far from isolated cases in the yeshivish communities. You just use it as another excuse to attack MO communities.
Once again, you disgust me.
If the mods would allow it, I can name specific shuls which have excessive drinking. I just don’t think they’ll allow it.

There are things that can done to lower costs.
edited
Families today have a need for vacations, and all sorts of fancy things, whether it’s bein hazmanim, or other times. Who pays for the vacations? I haven’t been on a vacation in years, because I pay tuition for my kids. I’ve been married for over 15 years, and in all that time, my wife and I went on one real vacation – where we used credit card points to pay for the flights, found a cheap AirBNB to stay in, and just overall did not spend a lot. We’ve never been on a family vacation, where the kids went with us. Maybe one year soon I’ll have the money for it! So why do families think it’s ok to live off of government programs and tzedakah, and then take vacations?
Clothing is another big one. Frum stores, which sell tznius clothes, charge outlandish prices. $75 for a simple skirt for a young girl??? It’s crazy! My wife found websites that sell tznius clothes for much cheaper, and she buys clothes for herself and our daughter there. Instead of $75 for a skirt, she pays maybe $15-$20.
Expenses can be cut, if you’re willing to make the sacrifices. The issue is that nowadays, most people aren’t willing.

Avira: Maple Lanes doesn’t exist anywhere anymore, it closed down years ago. IIRC, it was on 60th St and 15th Ave. I just checked Google Maps for the borders of Boro Park, and it was within them. Either way, on a Motzei Shabbos, it was completely filled with Jewish people.
I think you’re mixing it up with Melody Lanes, which is in Sunset Park.

Kugel, I think you should study the New Testament, along with commentaries on it, so you could come up with differences between your belief in the Rebbe’s second coming and their belief in Jesus’s second coming.
After all, you don’t really know anything about Christianity, so how can you claim it’s wrong?

I had my tefillin checked about 2 years ago.
For my bar mitzvah, my father had reached out to a relative who is a well-known and respected sofer to get my tefillin. He doesn’t really write things himself anymore, but he does sell for others. My father bought the tefillin he had recommended.
When I had them checked, the sofer asked me, “Where did you get these tefillin from?” I was nervous, and told him about the relative. He replied, “They are in amazing condition, and the parshiyos are absolutely beautiful! One of the nicest sets I’ve ever seen!”
When my son had his bar mitzvah, I also reached out to the same relative, and got my son’s tefillin from him. Hopefully they’ll last a lifetime!

I really don’t get it. Chabadniks quote a Gemara which says “If Mashiach were to come from the dead, it would be Daniel.”
They ignore Rashi, who says that the Gemara meant that if someone dead would have been Mashiach while living, it would have been Daniel.
So let’s assume that they’re right, and Rashi was wrong ch”v. To me, that’s the biggest proof that the rebbe is NOT Mashiach! Because the Gemara says straight out that it will be Daniel! How can you take one part of the Gemara and ignore the rest?
In any case, you can’t disregard Rashi like that, so the whole thing is a moot point anyway.

ARSo, I think that at the end of the day, the discussion isn’t about whether he could have been a Navi, or Mashiach. It’s about whether believing in those things is beyond Judaism, and considered apikorses. I don’t think any non-chabad people would agree to the things, but maybe they wouldn’t consider it as so wrong. Right now, many people consider people who have these beliefs as apikorsim.

Sam, it’s not so simple to say that women shouldn’t sing along in shul.
Both R’ Azriel Hildeshimer and R’ Samson Rafael Hirsch ruled that a woman can sing zemiros together with men. R’ Yechiel Yaakov Weinberg, in Teshuvot Seridei Eish 2:8, says that this is because of the rule Trei Kali Lo Mishtamai.
So if the men aren’t singing, it would be problematic, but if men are singing, it would seem there are opinions of major Rabbonim who would allow women to sing along.

As far as who should get people involved – I think it’s a joint effort. I’ve been in shuls where the baal tefillah pulls out an obscure tune, that nobody else knows, and he ends up singing by himself. I think that a baal tefillah should choose tunes that are known by most people, so that this doesn’t happen. If there’s a tune that is familiar to you, then there’s not really a reason to not sing along, and the kehillah should join in. If people are busy talking, that’s a bigger issue that must be addressed.

Avira, I don’t see any of those quotes saying that.
I was taught that all knowledge is valuable, because the Torah contains everything. When you study, it’s just another way of understanding the world Hashem created, and understanding the Torah, even if you don’t directly see the connection at the time.
As R’ Charlop said, everything should be viewed through the prism of Torah.

yungerman, the Litvish Mesorah is a real one, going back thousands of years. Chassidim have no real Mesorah. It goes back a few hundred years, to ideas the Besht claimed he received from a Navi. Even if that were true, that is not how a Mesorah is determined.

Chassidish girls should date Litvish boys, because the girl takes on the minhagim of her husband. We have a rule of maalin b’kedushah v’ein moridin.

Avram: sadly, you are correct. In my community, there are plenty of people who go to daven at the local Chabad, but not because they appreciate Chabad for what it is. Their reason is the time davening starts. In the shul I daven in, we are sure to make zman krias shema, and the start time reflects this. There are some who don’t want to wake up that early on Shabbos, and would prefer to go to a place that officially starts at 9:30 (although it’s closer to 10:00 by the time they actually start.)
I would never go to that place, because the Rabbi there is meshichist – I won’t even walk into the building. When I asked a friend about that aspect, he just shrugged and said, “I don’t say yechi when the rest of them do.”

Let’s say Chabad is right, and the Rebbe predicted the 6 Day and Gulf Wars. That’s not a sign of nevuah!
R’ Chaim Kanievsky predicted that Bnei Brak would be safe during the Gulf War, and no Scuds would fall there – and he was proven to be correct.
R’ Bender has a story in his sefer on Chumash (volume 2) where his brother Michoel was approached by a woman who was sick while pregnant, and the doctors felt she needed to terminate the pregnancy in order to save her life – if not, both she and the baby wouldn’t survive. He told her there was no need to terminate, and she would be fine. At her next checkup, the scans showed that the illness had disappeared.
Do you think they both have nevuah? Earlier in this thread, the idea of Ruach haKodesh/siyata dishmaya was discussed. It’s not the same as nevuah.
Your only proof that the Rebbe was a navi was that the Rebbe himself said so – which he didn’t even say straight out, he said his father in law was one!

Joseph, when I said “There was a time”, I meant there was a single instance where it occurred. Thankfully, I’ve never had that situation since, so it was only the one time.
As for who my Rebbe quoted, yes, I don’t remember exactly. But I do remember my Rebbe saying it, and as I said, I witnessed him spill out an entire bottle of wine at a sheva brachos because the name of the Rav on the bottle was a meshichist.

R’ Shternbuch was declared by one member to be the new Gaavad. There were others who protested this. It was not done as an official vote, so it’s not binding. Currently, there is no official Gaavad. No idea on whether a vote will be held or not.

Regarding the Nusach haGra, most people don’t follow it. It’s only people who usually follow minhagei haGra that daven his nusach. Most daven regular Ashkenaz, which is NOT the Gra’s nusach.
Also, there are siddurim that are Nusach haGra which list the source for each change he made. It clearly shows what his Mesorah was for the changes.

Menachem, that was not the story as I heard it from Korf’s son…

Menachem, there is no Mesorah specifically to shave. For a long time, there was no halachic way to fully shave. There is a Yerushalmi that mentions that is was common to trim beards using scissors.
Jews in Europe generally followed the customs of the country they were in. When the custom was to fully shave, they used chemical depilatories for it. When electric shavers were introduced in the 1900s, it presented a question of whether they are halachically allowed or not. R’ Moshe ruled that they are permissible.

That said, it was not accepted by everyone that fully removing your beard is allowed. The Tzemach Tzedek held that it violates the issur of a man appearing as a woman. The Shulchan Aruch disagreed, and held that this issur relating to hair meant that a man shouldn’t shave hair from body parts that women usually do, such as underarms.

Regarding this last point, I will note that I once had a conversation with R’ Bender about the issur of Lo Silbash. I questioned whether it changes with the times and societal norms – for example, nowadays, it is common for women to wear pants (the issur isn’t limited to what frum Jewish women wear!). So would it still be assur for a woman to wear pants due to this issue? He told me that no, it is not considered a man’s garment anymore. He said the first women to wear pants, if they were Jewish, did violate the issur, but once it became common for women to wear pants, it’s not prohibited due to this issue. The issue of tznius is a different problem, which he said is a major issue with pants. However, he said that if there were pants that were completely tznius, it would not be a problem for a woman to wear them.
I’d suggest that the same reasoning applies to shaving, and even according to the Shulchan Aruch’s view. Nowadays it’s completely normal for men to shave their beards completely, and even to remove hair from other body parts. Since this is the societal norm now, it’s possible that the issur of appearing like a woman no longer applies to this area.

ehrlichkeit,
The Gemara also says that R’ Yehuda haNasi stopped coming to make kiddush when others found out about his appearance – he wanted it limited to his family. It says because he was humble, he didn’t want it known. Ask your son if the Lubavitcher Rebbe was a baal gaavah, that he wants people to know his spirit is there?
I don’t believe his soul is in 770. It’s in Shamayim.