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July 6, 2011 7:15 pm at 7:15 pm in reply to: Abusing Chaverim organization #979134

Getzel
Participant

what aout hour of the night? till what time is normal to call?

July 6, 2011 7:14 pm at 7:14 pm in reply to: What Constitutes Abusing Hatzolah #784343

Getzel
Participant

my question is also is the first thing you do when something happens is to call,or wait a minute or 2 to see if they are really needed, and does the hour make a difference

July 6, 2011 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm in reply to: Jokes #1201733

Getzel
Participant

This is mostly for the ladies because we as gentlemen are perfect.

WHY AM I MARRIED?

You have choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable,

or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,

‘Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?’

‘Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.’

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .

A little boy asked his father,

‘Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?’

Father replied, ‘I don’t know son, I’m still paying.’

there was a woman who said,

‘I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,and by then, it was too late.’

If you want your spouse to listen and

pay strict attention to every word you say — talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, ‘My wife’s an angel!’

Second guy remarks, ‘You’re lucky, mine is still alive..’

__________

‘A Woman’s Prayer:

Dear hashem, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man ,to like him and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I’ll just beat him to death’

July 4, 2011 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm in reply to: Jokes #1201732

Getzel
Participant

LOL!

July 3, 2011 11:23 pm at 11:23 pm in reply to: Jokes #1201730

Getzel
Participant

A guy runs into the bar and says, “Quick, pour me 5 shots of your best scotch.” The bartender pours them and the man drinks them as fast as he can. “Wow that’s the fastest I’ve seen anyone drink,” says the bartender. “Well, you’d drink that fast if you had what I had,” The man says “Oh my god,” the bartender says, “What do you have?” The man replies “50 cents.”

June 30, 2011 8:37 pm at 8:37 pm in reply to: Is Pizza Unhealthy? #865855

Getzel
Participant

I mean besides the crust what if it was whole grain crust and cheese well wouldn’t only a little bit of thin layer of cheese be alright especially if it was low fat and tomato sauce is food for you because its a vegatable. and pizza is baked in the oven so why is it bad for you?

The reason that some people believe it is bad for you is more based on the idea it is a fast food that has lots of over processed products on it. It is also thought of as a evening meal and that is the time the average person eats a green vegetable. You are correct in thinking a whole grain crust is better as white flour has been processed and has nutrients removed. The fact that whole grain requires the body to work harder to digest is a good thing. If you was to make 2 pizza at home one with regular cheese and one with a processed cheese not only would you find the one without the processed cheese tastes better. It is healthier.

June 12, 2011 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm in reply to: Jokes #1201712

Getzel
Participant

shticky

awsome one

June 10, 2011 3:58 am at 3:58 am in reply to: Tznius Crisis in Cars #777415

Getzel
Participant

ok new isur coming out asuring woman and girls from using suvs and mini vans singed by the dot

June 2, 2011 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm in reply to: ????? ???"? for parents #1154775

Getzel
Participant

this is especially for those that don”t have kids yet or who r still single

????? ?’ ???????? ????????? ???????? ?????? ?????????, ??????? ???? ????????? ?????? ????? ?’, ?????? ?????? ??????? ????????? ?????? ????????? ????????, ??? ????????? ???????? ???????? ???????? ???????? ????? ???????? ????? ?’ ???????? ????? ??????:

June 2, 2011 2:12 pm at 2:12 pm in reply to: ????? ???"? for parents #1154769

Getzel
Participant

????? ?? ??? ????? ??? ??, ???? ???? ???? ??? ???? ?????, ????? ???”? ?????: “???? ???? ?? ??? ???? ?????? ?? ???? ??? ???? ?????…”.

?????? ???? ?’ ?????????? ??? ??????? ??????? ????????, ???????? ???? ?????????? ?????????????? ????????, ?????????? ????? ?????? ?????? ???. ????????? ????????? ??????? ?????????????????? ??????????? ????????????? ?????????? ????????????, ????? ?????????? ???????????? ?????????? ?????????, “???????????”, ?????????? ??????? ??????????? ??????????, ???? ??? ??????? ???????????? ?????? ?????????? ?????? ?????? ?????????, ????????? ????? ?????????? ????????????, ???????????? ????????? ?????????.

????? ??????? ???????? ????? ??????? ????????? ???? ????? ??????? ?’ ?????????? ?????? ??????????. ?????????? ???????????? “?????? ???????”, ??????????? ???????????? “????????????? ????? ??? ?????????”. ????????????? ???????????? ?????, ???? ??? ??????? ??????? ???? ??? ????????, ????????????? ???????? ????????? ??? ???????, ?????? ??????????? ????????? ?????????????? ??????????? ???? ??????? ????? ?????????? ???????? ??????? ?????????? ?????????.

??????? ?????? ??????? ?’ ?????? ??????? ???????????, ????????? ???????????, ???????? ???? ???????? ??? ?????????????? ?????????? ??????????? ?????????? ??? ??????? ????????. ????? ??? ??????? ?????????? ??? ?????????? ??????? ???????? ??? ???? ???? ?????????, ?????????? ?????? ??????? ????????? ????????? ???????????? ????????????, ??????? ?????????? ???????? ?????????? ?????????? ??? ???? ???????? ???????? ?????????? ??????????, ??????? ????????? ???????????? ???????? ???????? ????????????? ????????? ??????????? ??? ???????.

???????? ??? ?????????, ???? ?????????? ??????? ????????? ???????????, ??? ??????? ??? ?????????? ?????? ????????? ????????? ???????????, ????????? ????????? ???????????, ?????? ?????????????? ????????? ???????? “??? [???????????] ??????? ?????????”, ?????????? ???????????? ?????????? ?????????, “?????????????”.

???? ??? ????, ??????? ????????? ????????? ???????????? ????????? ??????? ??????? ??????? ??? ?????? ????? ???????. ????? ???????? ??? ??????????? ????????? ??????? ??? ?????? ????? ??????? ????????, ???? ??????? ??????? ????? ???????? ????????? ??????? ?????????? ?????, ????????? ???????? ??????, ?????? ???????, ?????? ????????, ?????? ????????, ?????? ?????, ?????? ???????, ?????? ???????? ????????, ?????? ?????? ????????????, ????????????? ?????????? ??????????? ?????????, ??? ??????? ?????????, ????? ????? ????????? ??????????? ????? ???? ??????????? ?????????, ????? ????? ?????????? ???????? ??????, ????? ????? ?????? ??????? ????? ???????, ????????? ??????? ????????? ????????? ??????????, ?????????? ????? ?????????? ????????? ???????? ??????????? ????????, ???????? ??????????, ????? ????????? ??????? ????????? ?????? ?????? ???????????????? ????????, ???? ????????? ????? ?????? ?????? ????????.

?????? ?’ ??????? ???? ???????????, ??????????? ??????? ??????????? ??????, ???? ?????????? ?????? ?????? ??????? ??????? ????????? ???????????? ????????? ?????????? ????????????, ??? ???? ??????? ?’ ???????, ????????? ???????? ????????????? ????????? ??????? ?????????. ??????????? ?????????? ??????? ???????? ?????????? ???????? ???????????, ?????????? ?????? ????????? ????? ???????? ??????????????, ??????????? ???????? ?????????.

????? ??????????? ???????? ???? ????? ?’ ???????? ???????????: ??????? ????????? ???? ?????? ?????????? ?????? ????: ?????????? ???????? ????????? ????????????? ??????? ???????? ??????????? ??????? ?????? ?????????????: ?????? ??? ??? ???????? ?????? ????? ?’: ?????????? ?’ ?????????? ??????? ??????? ????????????? ???? ????? ????????: ??????? ?????? ????????? ??????? ??? ??????????:

????? ?’ ???????? ????????? ???????? ?????? ?????????, ??????? ???? ????????? ?????? ????? ?’, ?????? ?????? ??????? ????????? ?????? ????????? ????????, ??? ????????? ???????? ???????? ???????? ???????? ????? ???????? ????? ?’ ???????? ????? ??????:

??????? ???????? ??????? ??? ?????????? ?????? ????????? ?’ ?????? ??????????

June 1, 2011 9:44 pm at 9:44 pm in reply to: shavaus meals #775863

Getzel
Participant

cmon what about a giten stickel buser?

June 1, 2011 5:46 pm at 5:46 pm in reply to: shavaus meals #775860

Getzel
Participant

I heard a reason not to eat milchig meals, rosh hashana there isn’t when to eat, yom kipur we don’t eat succos there isn’t where to eat, peasach there isn’t what to eat, so shavaus I have where and what to eat and I shall eat milichigs,! you crazy!

June 1, 2011 12:31 am at 12:31 am in reply to: Jokes #1201691

Getzel
Participant

If Trump does become president, I hope he puts a wig on his plane and calls it Hair Force One.”

June 1, 2011 12:23 am at 12:23 am in reply to: My New Subtitle #993386

Getzel
Participant

A Grosen dank ich mein spast gut far mir!

[for those that speak bloez ainglish you can google translate it!]

NISHT DU FARVUS!!

May 30, 2011 9:47 pm at 9:47 pm in reply to: Jokes #1201690

Getzel
Participant

if Obama rolls back 2 1959 then gito veyodo buin keachas and he can not do anything

May 30, 2011 9:43 pm at 9:43 pm in reply to: My New Subtitle #993380

Getzel
Participant

i”m waiting for my subtitle!

May 29, 2011 11:31 pm at 11:31 pm in reply to: Jokes #1201685

Getzel
Participant

yes I C

May 29, 2011 9:46 pm at 9:46 pm in reply to: Jokes #1201683

Getzel
Participant

Dear President Obama:

We are writing today with a somewhat unusual request. We ask that you return America to its August 20th, 1959, borders so that Hawaii is no longer a state and you are no longer a citizen.

Yours truly,

52% of the American People

May 29, 2011 9:39 pm at 9:39 pm in reply to: Screen Name Subtitle #978214

Getzel
Participant

ATT mods can i get a subtitle LOVES TO MAKE YOU SMILE!

and since there is no other Getzel can i get GETZEL instead of GETZEL1

May 23, 2011 11:55 pm at 11:55 pm in reply to: Jokes #1201681

Getzel
Participant

The main thing is that hes dead

May 19, 2011 11:44 pm at 11:44 pm in reply to: Firestorm After �Der Zeitung� Deletes Hillary Clinton from Iconic Photo #1052798

Getzel
Participant

No wonder the Tzeitung deleted the photo of Hillary!!!!!

As Obama said……….

They got a inside scoop that Hillary is making Israel problems so just DELETE HER instead..

May 19, 2011 11:41 pm at 11:41 pm in reply to: The EL AL Sefer Torah #768295

Getzel
Participant

always here

why not joke about it?

May 19, 2011 11:38 pm at 11:38 pm in reply to: No wonder the Tzeitung deleted the photo of Hillary!!!!! #768272

Getzel
Participant

LOL! i was just kidding!

May 19, 2011 5:42 pm at 5:42 pm in reply to: Attempt to Ban Bris Milah In San Francisco #768112

Getzel
Participant

Daas Yochid i obviously was saying that… but i won”t write it out here Vhamivin Yuvin..

May 19, 2011 5:28 pm at 5:28 pm in reply to: The EL AL Sefer Torah #768293

Getzel
Participant

Always here

can you also choose what font?

May 19, 2011 1:52 pm at 1:52 pm in reply to: Attempt to Ban Bris Milah In San Francisco #768097

Getzel
Participant

chazal write that Bris milah is a shmirah against immorality, just wondering why San Fransisco?!

May 19, 2011 1:50 pm at 1:50 pm in reply to: The EL AL Sefer Torah #768291

Getzel
Participant

what font shall i use?

May 18, 2011 3:27 am at 3:27 am in reply to: Jokes #1201672

Getzel
Participant

Living with 3 wives and not leaving the house for 5 years…..Osama probably called the US Navy Seals himself!

May 15, 2011 11:59 pm at 11:59 pm in reply to: krm #767164

Getzel
Participant

what about Goldbergs?

May 15, 2011 10:24 pm at 10:24 pm in reply to: Jokes #1201669

Getzel
Participant

LOL

May 15, 2011 7:45 pm at 7:45 pm in reply to: BD"H Bobever rebitzin was Niftar ???????? ??? ??? ??? ???? ?????? ??? ????? ??? #766652

Getzel
Participant

thanks

May 13, 2011 3:45 pm at 3:45 pm in reply to: The Boyaner Rebbi will light the Hatlukah in Meron at 12 a clock Motzei Shabbos #766405

Getzel
Participant

?????? ??????? ?? ???? ????? ????? ????”? ?????? ??????, ????? ???? ????? ????? ?????? ???, ???????. “?????? ???????? ?? ???? ?? ????? ??????? ??????, ????? ?????? ??????? ??????, ?? ????? ????? ?? ????? ??? ?”?, ???”? ????? ?? ???? ????? ????”.

May 11, 2011 5:32 pm at 5:32 pm in reply to: Tehillim for Chaya Sara bas Chava Breindel #803093

Getzel
Participant

lakewood

May 11, 2011 4:29 am at 4:29 am in reply to: Jokes #1201665

Getzel
Participant

CNN and NY Times cover the Passover

The cycle of violence between the Jews and the Egyptians continues with no end in sight in Egypt. After eight previous plagues have destroyed the Egyptian infrastructure and disrupted the lives of ordinary Egyptian citizens, the Jews launched a new offensive this week in the form of the plague of darkness.

Western journalists were particularly enraged by this plague. “It is simply impossible to report when you can’t see an inch in front of you,” complained a frustrated Andrea Koppel of CNN. “I have heard from my reliable Egyptian contacts that in the midst of the blanket of blackness, the Jews were annihilating thousands of Egyptians. Their word is solid enough evidence for me.” While the Jews contend that the plagues are justified given the harsh slavery imposed upon them by the Egyptians, Pharaoh, the Egyptian leader, rebuts this claim. “If only the plagues would let up, there would be no slavery. We just want to live plague-free. It is the right of every society.”

Saeb Erekat, an Egyptian spokesperson, complains that slavery is justifiable given the Jews’ superior weaponry supplied to them by the superpower G-d. The Europeans are particularly enraged by the latest Jewish offensive. “The Jewish aggression must cease if there is to be peace in the region. The Jews should go back to slavery for the good of the rest of the world,” stated an angry French President JacquesChirac.

Even several Jews agree. Adam Shapiro, a Jew, has barricaded himself within Pharaoh’s chambers to protect Pharaoh from what is feared will be the next plague, the death of the firstborn. Mr. Shapiro claims that while slavery is not necessarily a good thing, it is the product of the plagues and when the plagues end, so will the slavery. “The Jews have gone too far with plagues such as locusts and epidemic which have virtually destroyed the Egyptian economy,” Mr. Shapiro laments. “The Egyptians are really a very nice people and Pharaoh is kind of huggable once you get to know him,” gushes Shapiro.

The United States is demanding that Moses and Aaron, the Jewish leaders, continue to negotiate with Pharaoh. While Moses points out that Pharaoh had made promise after promise to free the Jewish people only to immediately break them and thereafter impose harsher and harsher slavery, Richard Boucher of the State Department assails the latest offensive. “Pharaoh is not in complete control of the taskmasters,” Mr. Boucher states. “The Jews must return to the negotiating table and will accomplish nothing through these plagues.” The latest round of violence comes in the face of a bold new Saudi peace overture. “If only the Jews will give up their language, change their names to Egyptian names and cease having male children, the Arab nations will incline toward peace with them,” Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah declared.

May 11, 2011 4:26 am at 4:26 am in reply to: Jokes #1201664

Getzel
Participant

A little boy once returned home from Hebrew school and his father asked, “what did you learn today?”

He answered, “The Rabbi told us how Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt.”

“How?”

The boy said “Moses was a big strong man and he beat Pharoah up. Then while he was down, he got all the people together and ran towards the sea. When he got there, he has the Corps of Engineers build a huge pontoon bridge. Once they got on the other side, they blew up the bridge while the Egyptians were trying to cross.”

The father was shocked. “Is that what the Rabbi taught you?”

The boy replied, “No. But you’d never beleive the story he DID tell us!”

May 11, 2011 4:26 am at 4:26 am in reply to: Jokes #1201663

Getzel
Participant

A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen. He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:

“Ma nishtana ha layla ha zeh mi kol ha laylot.”

Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, “Why is this knight different from all other knights?”

May 10, 2011 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm in reply to: Firestorm After �Der Zeitung� Deletes Hillary Clinton from Iconic Photo #1052663

Getzel
Participant

who cares what they did to the picture. it is a small religious paper that i bet 99.9999 percent of the people on here never heard of or ever even seen a copy of it in any stores. how are they any different than 99 percent of the lying media we have out there whether it be print or thru the airwaves. in fact i would probably trust this publication more than i would the ny times, fox news or msnbc

May 9, 2011 5:34 pm at 5:34 pm in reply to: Vacationing in Brooklyn – crazy? #765502

Getzel
Participant

go 4 it

May 9, 2011 5:30 pm at 5:30 pm in reply to: Jokes #1201654

Getzel
Participant

Daas Yochid

why should we be allowed now?

May 9, 2011 5:27 pm at 5:27 pm in reply to: who are the best posters? #830226

Getzel
Participant

thanks

May 9, 2011 4:45 am at 4:45 am in reply to: Jokes #1201653

Getzel
Participant

one more

“And so, Osama Bin Laden got his first bath in almost ten years. This could the best shark week ever.”

May 9, 2011 4:39 am at 4:39 am in reply to: Jokes #1201650

Getzel
Participant

Now here is the last but best!!!

May 9, 2011 4:37 am at 4:37 am in reply to: Jokes #1201649

Getzel
Participant

May 9, 2011 4:35 am at 4:35 am in reply to: Jokes #1201648

Getzel
Participant

when you go to a bar ask for a bin laden if the bartender says whats that, then say two shots and a splash of water

May 9, 2011 4:33 am at 4:33 am in reply to: Jokes #1201646

Getzel
Participant

“The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they’ve granted President Obama full citizenship.”

May 9, 2011 4:27 am at 4:27 am in reply to: who are the best posters? #830223

Getzel
Participant

am yisrael chai

thanks 4 the Chizuk now i can go to sleep peacefully!!

May 9, 2011 4:26 am at 4:26 am in reply to: Jokes #1201645

Getzel
Participant

i just realized we r hitting 800 posts! think about how many smiles were created by this thread!

May 9, 2011 4:11 am at 4:11 am in reply to: Jokes #1201644

Getzel
Participant

All Yeshivas would love to have Bin Laden’s kids! No cell phones, no Internet! Mother dressed Tznius & the father had a loads of cash!

May 9, 2011 4:09 am at 4:09 am in reply to: who are the best posters? #830220

Getzel
Participant

i”m sitting and crying nobody thought of me!

May 8, 2011 2:28 pm at 2:28 pm in reply to: Is Osama Bin Laden Dead or Alive in America's Custody #764929

Getzel
Participant

Daas Yochid

maybe but maybe not
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