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it”s the opposite thing than a yeshivasher geek who is busy for how many weeks he didn”t take a shower and wash his clothing.
it commonly refers to a on the ball guy, a shtickel a macher the kind of guy who might be in the center of every situation.
Kol Haolem is owned by a fellow from Mea Shearim!
My bat
Sadly it”s not just a joke
The Offical Shidduch Resume (FOR GIRLS)
Name:_______ ________ Nick name:_______ _________
Age:________ ________ Screen name:_______ _________
DOB:________ _______ Sign:_______ _________ __
Place of Birth:
City:_______ _________ State:______ ________ Country:____ ______
Hospital:___ _________ ___ Doctor:_____ _________ _ Midwife:____ _________ __
Height: With heels on:_________ ______ Without heels on:_________ _______
Weight: Before sister’s wedding:____ _________ _ After sister’s sheva brachos:____ _________ __
Color Eyes: With contact lenses:_____ _______ Without contact lenses:_____ ____
Religious Affiliation:
A. Jewish: ( ) FFB (Frum From Birth) ( ) BT ( ) OT () Out of towner ( ) Regular orthodox ( ) Modern orthodox
B. Education: Please star * anything that was co-ed
a) Playgroup:__ _________ __ b) Preschool:__ _________ __ c) Elementary School:_____ _________
d) High School:_____________
e) If you did not attend a Bais Ya’akov High School, please write a 500 word essay why. (You may
attach additional paper to the back of this resume).
f) Day Camp:_______ ______ g) Sleep-away Camp:_______ ________
h) Seminary:___ _________ ___ *Why davka this one_________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____.
*Was this your first choice? Were you rejected from any seminaries and if yes, please
specify:____ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ .
GETTING PERSONAL:
1) So, who really is the prettiest girl in Bais Ya’akov Monsey?_____ _________ ___.
2) Are you really a hocker?? Check if you have any of these: ___ # of
cellphone(s) ___ # beeper(s) ___ # of blowdrier(s) ___ Type of car(s) ___
VCR/DVD ___ TV ___ computer with email ___ computer with internet ___
computer with Koshernet
3) Did you ever have a crush on a boy in Miami Boy’s Choir? No____ Yes_____
(If yes, please specify # and which ones)
____________ _________ _________ ______
THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS MAY SEEM A BIT UNUSUAL, HOWEVER, PROFESSIONAL
SHADCHANIM KNOW WHAT REALLY DETERMINES A GIRL’S CHARACTER.
4) What midda really defines your character? ____________ _________ .
5) What do you do to relax? A. Eat B. Get you nails/hair done C. Go
shopping D. Talk on the phone E. Say Tehillim F. Design your wedding gown
6) How much food do you need to be satisfied? A. One slice of pizza, french
fries or onion rings and a diet coke B. Half a burger or hotdog C. Salad,
salad, and more salad D. 3 Chalav Yisrael Hershey Kisses
E. Satisified? Never, I’m on a diet!
7) What are your eyebrows like? A. I wax once a month B. So thick I have to
tweeze every-other night C. Very sparse, I need to color them in
D. Non-existent is in, didn’t you see the latest cover of Seventeen?
8) During the Oscar’s, you are: A. Doing chesed to counter-act the tumah
B. Watching for tips C. Watching ER D. The Oscar’s, what’s that?
9) Are your suits: A. Long jacket, long skirt B. Long jacket, short skirt
C. Short jacket, long skirt D. Short jacket, short skirt (and how short?)
E. Suits, me? I go casual; denim skirt, Gap sweatshirt
10) How often do you buy a new Shabbos robe? A. Once a year B. Every time I
see one I like C. Whenever they go on sale D. Twice in a life time
(Bas-Mitzva and wedding IY”H)
11) How many outfits do you go through on Shabbos?
A. 1-3 B. 3-5 C. I don’t get dressed
12) How much time do you spend doing your hair before a date? A. I don’t, a
ponytail is good enough for me B. 10 minutes C. 20-40 minutes D. 60+ minutes
13) What do you use to do your hair?
A. Brush only B. Blowdrier C. Straightner/ Curler D. Gel/Mouse E. All of the above
14) What brand of make-up do you use?
A. My mother doesn’t let me wear make-up B. Whatever is on sale at Target C. Mary Kay
D. Clinique/Lancome/ Estee Lauder/MAC
15) What would you buy with a $100 gift certificate to Macy’s?
A. New make-up B. Third pair of Shabbos shoes C. Lingerie D. Macy’s chas veshalom! I only shop at Brenda’s!
E. The skirt I saw Miriam wear last week
FAMILY MATTERS:
16) What kind of table cloth does you family use?
A. Disposable B. Pink with lace C. Classic white
17) What does your family serve for Oneg Shabbos?
A. What Oneg Shabbos? We’re all on diets! B. Only Pashkes and Liebers C. For those over 16- diet
coke, 15 and under- fruit punch D. Dried fruit E. Nosh is only for those who clear the table
18) What’s your retail value on the market? $$$_________ _
19) What time do you daven Shacharis Sunday morning?
A. Neitz, I’m usually up anyways B. I set my alarm for an hour before zman kriyas shema
C. My mother wakes me 5 minutes before chatzot D. Shacharis Sunday morning?!
20) What is your monthly phone bill usually like? ____________ __
21) What’s your favorite page in a yearbook?
A. Baby pictures, they’re just sooo cute! B. Divrei Torah C. Class pictures D. Jokes and memories
E. Family pictures of girls with older brothers
22) When you see those chocolates on the coffee table, do you…
A. Begin drooling, but remember your bathing suit is only a size 4 B. Count calories
C. If it?s PMS time, I’ll grab the whole box D. I will not succumb to this great taiva
23) What do you do if your date opens the car door for you?
A. Look down, I’m makpid on shmiras einayim (no eye contact) B. Run back into my house and
call the shadchan C. I say thank you, and get in D. Blush and get in silently
24) What’s your favorite dating spot?
A. Lounge B. Lounge C. Lounge D. Other??? Couldn’t come up with any!
25) If your older brother has a friend over for lunch, you…
A. Look down the whole meal B. Blush when he asks you to pass the cholent C. Talk about
politics D. Have an animated conversation until your father asks you to clear the table E. Eat at your friend’s
26) What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you on a date?
A. My mascara shmeared B. My hair frizzed in the rain C. He forgot my name
D. Too many quiet moments E. When I sat down, my skirt went above my knees
F. Met too many of our ex-dates in the lounge
27) Why do you feel you are ready for marriage?
A. My parents are forcing me B. I want a baby C. I just came back from sem, a true kalah maidel D. I
can whip up a whole Shabbos in 3 hours E. All my friends are
28) What does it take for a boy to get on your list:
A. One phone call, I’m 20, an alta kakah B. 4 phone calls from prominent rabbanim C. Money makes
things move pretty quickly D. He has to be my mother’s cousin’s sister’s
mother-in-law’ s best friend’s son E. If he attends the Mir F. A blue eyed stud who knows how to dress
29) What do you feel is your supreme sacrifice for Torah?
A. Living on a kollel salary B. Letting your husband learn half a day C. Eating out only
once a week D. Driving a Camry (not a Mercedes or Rolls) E. Doing my nails myself
30) Why do you think you should be chosen above everyone else?
A. I throw really cool parties B. I wear a size 4 C. I have great yichus D. I can talk
on the phone while mopping the floor and holding the screaming baby
E. I have a great personality, real modest F. My grandparents left me a huge trust fund
31) What kind of engagement ring are you looking for:
A. A plain band B. A nice 1 carat diamond C. A big diamond surrounded by emeralds D. I’ll take
what I can get E. Anything from Tiffany’s or Cartier
I, ____________ _________ promise that everything I have answered above is
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Please help me Hashem.
SIGNATURE: ____________ ________
I was in France in a store i heard the radio playing a song [Goiysher words] that sounded familiar
i then realized it was Piamentas “Asher bara sason vsimcha chatan vkalla”
Thats called HORRIBLE
because plain Getzel was taken
so i added a 1
Just another note about the above article mentioned in the orignal post
Forget the whole CNN vs FOX vs MSNBC debate. We have our own headline battles, though more subtle.
The woman detained was interviewed by the Jpost:
Frenkel said that as the women unrolled the Torah scroll and began to prepare to read, officials from the Kotel Foundation arrived and demanded that they leave the premises.
Frenkel said that the women agreed to roll up the Torah scroll and take it to the Robinsons Arch. But on their way out Frenkel, who was wearing a talit and was carrying the Torah, was seized by police.
I was pushed into a nearby police station and transferred to the main police station at Yaffo Gate, she said.
About 40 women who attended the prayer formed a procession and followed the police and Frenkel through the Old City to the Yaffo Gate where they congregated and sang songs until Frenkel was released.
The Jewish headlines are helping to divide an already divided people desperate for some kind of unity to face external threats.
OK so you guys want me to tackle this head on here i go.
Azi wrote that he does not know what to answer to these things, well i do
“Almost everything I’ve read about them makes them out to be mean and arrogant”
Ha ha – Lets check this one out, ask any non Jew or orthodox Jew how many languages he can speak most can only speak one, Orthodox Jews can usually speak between 2-4.
How many Non orthodox can list you Jewish history from 2000 years ago? so you will say it”s just that they don”t care, but i”ll call that on their part arrogant.
Enter any Shul you got A few Talmidei Chachamim,[or call it Rabbi with a doctrine in Jewish law, History etc.] a few Doctors a few Lawyers a couple of accountants Computer programmers etc. etc..
<NO I DON”T CALL THAT ARROGANT>
You further wrote:
“Orthodox jews generally are exempt from service, primarily because they (well, a significant minority of them) tend to riot if they don’t get what they want”
About the army, The main question is Why do we need an army if None of the leaders know what Israel needs to be ?
If Israel is like any other state, why do you need to stay in this land surrounded by many Arabs countries ?
Why are they not going to another place in the world ?
Why this land is more to Israelis than to the Palestinians ?
Sometimes, we need to go to Lebanon
but for WHAT ?
We are here to create a very unique country.
About the orthodox contribution: What can you say about Hatzolah ? Zaka ? Meir Panim ? Ezra Lamarpeh ? Ezer Letsion ? the Laniado Hospital in Netanya ? all the gmahims ? and all the others very big organizations who are helping EVERY DAY ALL KIND of Israelis !
I think that they are contributing more to the country than the whole IDF !
Azi You just need to turn off your TV.
Bend down and let the waves pass over your head!
Let”s face the fact if you look at Klall Yisroel with dark glasses you will go in Ynets footsteps and find dirt.
But if you will go and were the Kedushas Levis-Barditshivar ravs glasses you will see only good in klall Yisroel.
The fact is there isn’t a nicer nation than Klall Yisroel.
What do Non Jews and Secular people do regualy? you name it evry sin steal adultry etc…..
The Jews are in Golus with these people do you expect them not to learn from their bad deeds?
Open any Orthdox Jewish phone book check the Chesed and Gemach listings. then ask all the pople posting comments anti Frum if they ever did any good act, they most probbly will have to think hard.
How much Tzedakah is given out by the Orthodox Jews? Greedy-NO WAY
So azi wake up smell the coffe!!