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rr6527 -“I do not have any medical proof on this, but it worked for me. As far as I know there are not any guidelines for prevention. My own urologist did not believe in cutting calcium out of my diet (dairy foods etc), so I still eat whatever I want.”
There are a few different type of stones, but a workup on them is only recommended for recurrent stones. One of them is a condition called hypercalcemia (too much calcium). The reason your doc didn’t say cut calcium out of the diet because e/o has to have calcium. In your case the extra Ca was caused by the water, so eliminating the water solved the problem. Most cases of hypercalcemia have nothing to do with how much calcium you are injesting.
yenta -“i had a pt w/ gallstones…”
Ooh, Ooh -I did also. Not a story for here, but maybe a good story while I’m on a date.
gefen -“The stones were too big to pass so I had a lithotripsy (not sure of spelling) done. That’s were they sedate you and lower you into a pool of water. They then shoot laser beams at the site where the stones are.”
It’s actually sound waves (ultrasound), not laser beams!
Baloochi -Now why would I want to give them my booze? That would mean less for me! ;0
No seriously, a little wine from Kiddush and a small amount of schnapps (a drop in a shot glass, not full up) between the fish & meat is fine. Nothing more!
I’d like to quote a “Chochmas Odom” and from his words you will see this is most probably Ossur: (I tried to copy & paste the Hebrew version here, but I couldn’t do it. I’m into medicine, not computers.)
“Klal 89 -We don’t go in the Chukos of the Ackum and we don’t do similar things like them -Not in clothing, not in hair and Things Like This, etc.
You shouldn’t say -since the Goyim go out with purple clothes, so will I, etc.
But Yisroel (Jews) have to be different from them and they must know this with their clothes and with their other Maisav (doings) just like they are different with their thoughts, etc.”
To me, this is pretty Poshut that “Things Like This” would surely include piercings which includes things like nose rings!
Raphael Kaufman -“The standards of Jewish female adornment has always followed the general practice. No such gezeirah was issued on adornments so they continue to follow the general custom such as earings, necklaces, rings, brooches, etc. If nose rings are worn by the general population of women, they are muttar, disgusting, but muttar.”
I’m not sure whether your Sevara is a normal Sevara or a Boich Sevara, but either way you must bring a valid proof to it.
A comparison to hair covering is Not a proof, because you could compare it to clothes and certain clothing are Ossur (eg. Red dresses). Without a proof from Halacha you can’t say Mutter even if you would have a valid Sevara because this is an Issur D’oraysa. And even If your Sevara makes it into a Sofek -A Sofek D’oraysa is Ossur acc. to Halacha!
mdd -“Health, what about earrings? What’s the difference?”
I personally don’t like earrings, but these have been worn through every generation -so it’s Mutter.
popcorn -“With the Shidduch crisis today, people should be more open to this idea and help establish more Yiddishe families for Klal Yisroel.”
Yes, and they should be more open to taking a guy 20 -30 years older than them too!
ARWF -“And the over prescribing done just because some one had a bad day.”
Stop putting down the Shrink! S/he did their job. It’s not their fault you don’t understand the job of a psychiatrist. Most nowadays don’t give therapy (eg. CBT) -only medications or other therapy modalities. S/he prescribed medication -they did Not
over-prescribe!
It’s either your fault that you don’t know/understand this or the fault of your Ob/gyn for referring you to a psychiatrist instead of a therapist! It’s probably both your faults -you didn’t explain exactly what type of help you wanted and the Ob/gyn didn’t take the time to pull it out of you, even though you didn’t specify!
The only lesson you can learn from your story is you must be able to Communicate to your PCP/GP (Internist, OB/Gyn, Pediatrician).
Not that there is side effects or withdrawl effects with medications. Almost every medication in the world has these, but the benefits outweigh the risks! So your Chiddush of “Again this is about the dangers of zoloft”, is no Chiddush to 99% of the world!
mamashtakah -“Health, I notice you didn’t answer my question.”
What a brilliant observation!
The question is irrevelant to the topic. I can ask you irrevelant questions also -Are you a man or a lady? How old are you? What’s your name?
yitayningwut -“My 58 year old great-grandfather married my 28 year old great-grandmother.”
Yes, and there should be a lot more age gaps like this! I started a topic here in the CR discussing this called -“Who wants to be a Tzadaikes like Rus?”.
mamashtakah -“So we can assume that you listen to every chumra spoken out by every Gadol?”
You’re not serious, are you? The Gedolim said it’s like the worse Aveira to join the army, if you are a girl. This has nothing to do with Chumras!
SaysMe -“first of all, what difference does the wording betw those two make? why would one be muttar and the other assur? to embarass additionally, and without basis or knowledge of truth in her words, no.”
I frankly don’t know who you are talking about – the OP or the relative? You aren’t coherent. The OP you can say that line about the relative -there is nothing wrong with embarassing her because she does this Aveira all the time (her words, not mine).
The relative I already posted above (if you read my posts before commenting on them???) – “And I’m pretty sure that that comment is Mutter, unless she was putting down the relative and not just the OP!”.
So the difference between the wording is -if the lady said -“how much pain i must be causing a relative of mine, by dressing like that..”, this isn’t embarassing the relative as opposed to saying -“her relative should be ashamed of her”, which might be embarassing to the relative.
I just realized – that if you think that you aren’t allowed to embarass the OP perhaps because you are mixing up two Halachos.
The Halacha that would apply here is in C.C. Chap. 4:7.
lasry02 -“According to the Halachah there was never an Issur for a woman to pierce her nose. In fact according to the Chasam Sofer, a man may also do so nowadays since men do so. (the Chasam Sofer says that we would go after the non-jewish men in this instance even though the Jewish men don’t normally pierce their ears or nose. Which is why the Chasam Sofer would hold a man may dye his hair as well since the non-jewish men do so.”
Where is this Chasam Sofer -I’d like to look it up?
DaasYochid -“We’re in agreement, except on the meaning of the word “inherently”.”
Ok, take that word out of my post -it definitely wasn’t my main point.
BT guy- “The “over prescribing of America” is a big problem. Plus, the underlying cause of this is to line the pockets of those in that field, and boost the economy”
Stop with your consipracy theories. Only a few medical prescribers do this – most don’t & are Ehrlich (if you know what this means)! Does it make you happy putting down a group of people who by & far have dedicated their lives to helping others?
Josh31 -Stop talking in riddles. This isn’t a game. Are you refering to gov. money that Yeshivas take? If so, that is willingly because the gov. & their laws represent you and they are giving it. If you don’t like what your gov. is doing -you have the option of voting them out!
old man -So you are one of these Mizrachi Rabbis?
Who gave you the right to argue on Gedolim?
Yea, but make sure everything you eat is Yoshon!
Sam2 -“Health: What do you mean there is no Din of Ve’ohavta?”
Exactly what I said -it’s self explanatory.
MiddlePath -“Health, those points I made apply ALWAYS, and specifically in a situation like this, where it is so easy to slip up and say lashon hara.”
Wrong, not in this case where she should have s/o speak about her way of dress.
“And I don’t agree with you that it is a good thing to speak bad about such a person. I don’t think it is ever good to speak bad about anyone, anytime. Even in a circumstance where technically it may be allowed, which is very rare, I still wouldn’t do it. And I definitely wouldn’t be eager to do it, and nor should you, or anyone else. Just think about how wrong that is: “Oooh, look, I have an opportunity to speak bad about someone and I won’t get an aveira for it! I can’t wait to do it!” I’m sorry, but there is something terrible about that.”
Just so you know -you are arguing with the Chofetz Chaim. Speaking LH or doing any Aveirah isn’t Ossur because it’s not a nice thing to do. It could be it’s not nice and it could be it’s nice. It’s Ossur to do Aveiros because Hashem said so. In this case the Halacha says you should speak bad and it actually accomplished a purpose -because she got embarrassed about her way of dress!
SaysMe -“there are many ways to be dan l’kaf zchus the lady for commenting on the tznius violation, and it may be muttar. the extra comment “her relative should be ashamed of her”…
“it is forbidden to say a/t about a person that might embarrass him if it were to be repeated in his presence… unless its for a constructive purpose.” what constructive purpose was there in that? being an opinion, not fact, also makes it hotzaas shem ra.”
You changed what the lady said just to “prove” you are right. Did you really think I wouldn’t remember what she said that was posted on page 1? Why can’t you admit that there is nothing wrong with what this lady said? It’s better to admit that you don’t know the Halachos so well, than to make up your own.
Here is the quote -“how much pain i must be causing a relative of mine, by dressing like that..”
Please go review the CC inside the Hebrew version before you respond to me. Everything I posted here is based on Halacha, not whether I “feel” it’s Ossur or Mutter!
poiuytrewq1234 -As a long time Lakewooder -I agree with you.
Raphael Kaufman -“The issur of chukas hagoyim is only tangentially related to pritzus. For instance, many hold that the custom of upsheren is based on Christian “breaching” ceremonies and is therefore assur als chukas hagoyim. Chukas hagoyim refers to all specific customs of the goyim not just pritzus.”
True, but included in that is Pritzus, which would include Nose rings and other piercings. Why confuse the issue with other things that are also Ossur?
“The fact that you don’t like a particular style is just that, you don’t like it. Your likes and dislikes don’t constitute normative halacha.”
Also, true. But I’m not basing my opinion on whether I like nose rings or not. I’m basing it on the guidelines that I found in YD 178!!!
DaasYochid -“Health, You can’y assert that a nose ring is inherently pritzus if the Imahos wore them.”
It could have become inherently since then. Odom Harishon didn’t wear clothes at the beginning -then later it became Pritzus. So things change because of awareness. He wasn’t aware that humans felt the need to cover up -once he ate and got that awareness -it’s now Pritzus to go without clothes. So nose rings then – have nothing to do with now, unless this was handed down in every generation, which it wasn’t.
Josh31 -“Degrading other human beings and stealing their money, even for the most lofty spiritual purposes is never allowed.”
Are you insinuating this about Kollel guys? I certainly hope not!
“When an enemy committed to our destruction arises, then men and not women must rise to defend us.”
So now you are agreeing with me that women shouldn’t join the army! 🙂
“Kosher money must first be earned and willingly given before full time learning can occur.”
This makes no sense. A kollel check is Kosher money. Usually full time learning occurs after high school or whenever that Yeshiva ends their secular studies. This is almost always before the person goes out and makes a living.
ARWSF -“One of the reasons they over prescribe everybody is that they are making profit from the drug companies. Zoloft and others pay out to psychiatrists for writing the prescription. Its off record, but its done.”
They don’t over prescribe. In all fields there are practioners who aren’t on the up & up, but most medical prof. are Not like this. So don’t characterize us all on the actions of a few!
“These brought me before a well known psychiatrist in the community recently who deals with Perinatal and Post Partum depression. What was her conclusion? That I need Zoloft.”
Why is this a Chiddush to you?
“My point is that before people accept a report from a psychiatrist or a family doctor that ok you have depression- take this med…they should first try using natural methods such as Cognitive Behavioral THerapy.”
This point is already well known. Most people whom go to their family doctor or on their own feel like they are suffering from anxiety and/or depression FIRST make an appt. with a counselor, either a MSW or a psychologist. Usually it’s the therapist whom recommends drugs if they feel the patient will benefit from them and then they are given a referral to a psychiatrist. Most people have the shrink originally prescribe and then go to their GP for refills because Shrink appts. are costly. CBT is a type of therapy that is practiced by these prof.
“Oh, and when I contacted the psychiatrist and told her listen I need to get off this for the above reasons, she told me that electrical painful shocks or brain zapping is not a reason to go off the med.
I was thiking sure it is, because I may one day want to stop taking it and then I`ll suffer from this, no? OR be trapped on it.”
The Doc is right. All drugs have side effects. In this case the drug also has withdrawl effects. In medicine the principle is to weigh the benefit vs. the risk. The drug is given when the benefit outweighs the risk. This is what your Doc feels in your case. Just because some drugs have side effects and/or withdrawl effects, most people won’t experience any of these. It is foolish to think that I’ll be from the minority!
tahini -“What a tragedy that in our world we insult each other so easily.”
“Nothing is worse than taking and not giving back, contributing to the community is a crucial jewish mitzvah and value.
Yes Health some do not go into the army, some healthy young men take money from the govt in Israel and stay in Yeshiva and learn, leaving it to others to defend, feed and support them and their families. Others go to hesder yeshivas, learn and defend as well as giving back to society.”
Care to reread your post? You started insulting a whole segment of Frum society -namely Kollel Yungerleight. I just stood up in their defense. Let’s see “Nothing is worse than taking and not giving back” -I’m sure Sam and Middle Path will say that you weren’t talking about anybody in particular.
So then you post -“leaving it to others to defend, feed and support them and their families. Others go to hesder yeshivas, learn and defend as well as giving back to society.”
You compare Kollel/ Yeshiva to Hesder guys and the implication is that it is only the Hesder guys that “give back to society”. I guess the Kollel guys whom leave it to others to defend, feed and support them and their families are leeches, right?
So when you Diss a whole segment of society don’t complain -“What a tragedy that in our world we insult each other so easily.”!!!!
Raphael Kaufman -“Health, you are not only arrogant and opinionated, you are rude and insulting.”
Kol Hapoisel B’momo Poisel. I never see you join discussions here in the CR. All I ever see you doing is being a armchair Judge. You only come to tell e/o when there is a difference of opinion that the one you agree with – is right. This to me is rude & arrogant!
Sam2 -“Health: I’m not sure what Kefira there is in tahini’s post. Why don’t you provide a source backing up what you are saying (that the best defense is Talmud Torah) before you call someone else a Kofer?”
You’re not serious are you???? Did you skip Chumash and go straight to S’A? Did you ever hear of the Parsha called Oobechukosy?
MiddlePath -“I agree with Sam2. Even if the two women talking behind her back are not transgressing any “lashon hara” issue, it is DEFINITELY rude, serves no purpose, and is a breach of v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha. Besides that, there are a few other problems with it:
1)It can easily LEAD to lashon hara, so why put yourself into such a situation.
2) It can make someone more accustomed to talking negatively about others, which is definitely not something a Jew should be doing.
3) This is something my mom told me: In general, it is not a good a idea to talk about the flaws in another person because G-d will then take a closer look at your own flaws, and judge you as harshly as you judged that person.”
These are definitely good points to have in life, but they don’t apply here! It is a good thing to speak bad on such a person -see my post above!
Sam2 -“Health: I never base an opinion on what other posters post. And I’m not necessarily talking “To’eles” as in from Dinei Lashon Harah. I’m saying there’s no purpose in it, so why would you say it? It also shows an extreme lack of Ve’ahavta L’reiacha Kamocha.”
There is No Din of Veahavta, just like there is no Din of L’H.
And the purpose was -just in case it got back to the girl (which in this case it did) she should feel bad. And even if it wouldn’t have gotten back (because the girl keeps Hilchos of Rechilos) the girl that the woman spoke to will learn right from wrong!
“Besides, we all have no idea what this “breach of Tznius” was. I am assuming that it wasn’t a gross breach or Ski would have left the wedding. If she was Mamash Halachically not dressed then I can see the comments being Muttar, if still even a bit out of line. I am assuming that this “breach in Tznius” was something minor that is probably not visible at most times.”
Funny, and I assume just the opposite. I think this girl did a major breach and she comes here knowing almost all the posters will feel bad for her.
old man -“Halachically, 100% permitted.”
And what do you do with -“V’chukosayhem Lo Saylaychu”?
mdd -“Health, prust is not a halochic term. For chukos ha’goyim issur, it has to be pritsusdic. Red clothing causes reactions in men.”
To me something that is Prust is Pritzusdick! Even long hair and weird haircuts is Ossur from the S’A -this is even worse!
lemaysa -“Health i would beg to differ in the neighbor hood i live in yerushalayim theres plenty of first and second geraration olim from all over the middle east that have nose peircings secondly nose peircings have always been worn in the midddle east for thousands of years”
How about asking the first generation if that’s what has been done for umpteen years? Did her mother put it on her or she did it herself?
chocandpatience -“too many ‘probably’s. Can you give us some firm evidence?”
This was told to me by a Choshuve Frum Mental Health Professional. And no I didn’t question him -“How do you know?”.
So take it or leave it.
What I found in the Frum community is if you’re a popular Medical prof. then they never question you on anything you do, no matter how questionable it might be. It’s like Torah Moshe Me’sinai.
Either you question e/o or noone. Or just question things that aren’t common sense, if you don’t like my first suggestion.
Anyway if you want to know more about mental illness in the Frum community -there is an org. called Relief. I’m pretty sure they have a website, where you can get info.
soliek -“and yet every time i try posting something to that effect…it gets shot down…”
I guess it depends on How you say it -on How you dress it up.
Rosh Cham -“Health look at it this way, we are in a matzav of pikuach nefesh, everything else comes in second,if you dont belive that we are in that matzav, then im afraid you are either increadibly naive or intentionaly ignoren.”
Look the Din of “yehareg vi’al ya’avor” which the Gedolim said about women going to the army is mainly in a case of Pikuach Nefesh! If you don’t understand this, then I’m afraid you are either incredibly naive or intentionaly ignorant!”
tahini -“Nothing is worse than taking and not giving back, contributing to the community is a crucial jewish mitzvah and value.
Yes Health some do not go into the army, some healthy young men take money from the govt in Israel and stay in Yeshiva and learn, leaving it to others to defend, feed and support them and their families. Others go to hesder yeshivas, learn and defend as well as giving back to society.”
Your post is nothing short of Kefira, but you might not be a Koifer, just an Am Haaretz with a poor upbringing. The biggest defense against an enemy is Limud Hatorah (learning Torah). Not part time like the Hesder boys, but full time – in regular Yeshivos!
Sam2 -“Then maybe you should stop saying some of your Halachic opinions here as well. And no, I would normally not be so offensive but your comment warranted that I defend the person you directed that too, especially as (s)he was right.”
Your offense is not reasonable. You’re not the great Poisek you think you are. And that poster is Wrong!
“There is no Heter to make grossly insult someone, especially behind their backs, regardless of if that person did something Assur. Please, try, tell me what To’eles there is in saying “her relative should be ashamed of her”.”
Stop basing the Halacha from what the posters here post. Go back and study the CC chap. 4 and you will see that I’m 100% correct in this case! You don’t need Toeles in cases like these.
SaysMe -“Ouch. Can’t say i’d know if you have better halachik knowledge than me or not.”
Obviously I do because there is nothing wrong with anything she said! How about Danning this lady L’caf Zecus? Did you ever hear of this Chiyuv?
“You too only claimed you are “pretty sure that that comment is Mutter”. And I feel it is assur. to each their own?”
I only said that because I’m not paskening, e/o should ask their own LOR! But the Halacha is quite clear – as long as she didn’t insult the relative of the OP!
“I am staying away from paskening because i am not a posek and have no desire to give others a psak.”
But you did it anyway -“But i’m quite sure that the ‘hurting the relative’ comment was assur.”
cinderella – “The term depression is way overused these days.”
It’s overused by the general public. No medical professional who has to prescribe these drugs gives them to people who aren’t clinically depressed. The incidence of depression and/or mental illness is probably greater amongst Frum people than others. Probably there aren’t enough people on these drugs. Most people with mental illness are in denial. There are probably a few reasons for this widespead mental illness – mainly because we have to keep up with the Joneses, more than other groups!
i love coffe -Look if a person is strong in their Hashkafa -it doesn’t matter where they go to school. On the other hand, if s/o has weak Hashkofas, even if they go to a “Frum” college, they can go OTD!
MP – Well I don’t think people without a solid background in Halacha should be posting their opinion on whether something is Mutter or Ossur.
lemaysa -“in the mizrachi circels in isreal its accepted its amiddle eastern style which is gaining more popularity with the ashkinazik community over time”
Dream on! Frum Sefardim who came directly from their countries to E. Yisroel never had nose rings or similar.
“i dont think it has to do about minhag or halacha its just that jewish people are scared of anything which they didnt grow up with its just a matter of time that it will become something acceppted”
i love coffe -“I think that a nose ring is something to consider, but a piercing on some other part of the body is disgusting. I associate it with tattoos, and weird people…”
MiddlePath -“I was part of a small Goth scene when I was in high school, and many of them had nose rings and other body piercings. For them, it is simply a way to express individuality and non-conformity. Goths are usually people that have been under-appreciated, and therefore try to turn away from social norms in order to distance themselves from the main society that “discarded” them. To me, that’s what I think of when I see someone with a nose ring. Still, regardless of how I think it looks, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, because I don’t think there’s anything wrong with expressing individuality.”
These all are your opinions based on your “feelings”. Whether you feel this is nice or PC or popular or the style or whatever, I’m almost positive this is Ossur acc. to the Torah based on what I posted above! And it doesn’t matter whether you’re a Sefardi or Askenazi – it’s still Ossur!
i love coffe – That was the olden time psychology. Purely Freudian. A lot of people held this was Apikursos. Nowadays they teach many different theories and there isn’t a problem. Did you ever wonder why there are so many Frum MSW’s & Psychologists? You didn’t think they all did Aveiros by going into their choice of career, did you??!!?
Josh -Exactly. How did you figure that out? Not only that, but men don’t have to go to the army unless they want to. They can stay in Yeshiva and learn -even the Israeli gov. gives this as an exemption.
Sam2 -“Secondly, you need to define Pritzus. There is nothing sexual or erotic about a nose ring. What makes it Pritzus? Because you think it is?”
And there is nothing sexual or erotic about long hair or Mohawks, so acc. to you why is it Ossur? It’s Ossur because long hair is Prust! If you don’t know the definition of Pritzus -the S’A is Not going to define it for you!
Josh31 – Don’t mix up two things. I don’t have a problem with women going out to work. I was discussing female army service.
“Health, the men serving in the army is to reduce the pressure on women to serve and avoid the “yehareg vi’al ya’avor” situation in the first place”
It’s irrevelant how much pressure they have -they can’t join no matter what!!! A simple concept -how many men is not part of the equation!
SaysMe -“Health-meant i’m not getting into the discussion of whether it was muttar or not, cuz thats a halacha q. But i’m quite sure that the ‘hurting the relative’ comment was assur.”
First you say you won’t discuss Ossur or Mutter, then you say the comment about the relative is Ossur! A little contradiction -don’t you think? It probably is a good idea for you not to say Mutter or Ossur -it doesn’t sound like you have such a handle on Halacha like some of us here.
And I’m pretty sure that that comment is Mutter, unless she was putting down the relative and not just the OP!
Sam2 -“It has to be for Pritzus and without a purpose to be Assur (see YD 177).”
It says “Or”, not “and” (YD 178).
“Health: It’s not dependent solely on what Goyim think is nice. If it was then we wouldn’t be allowed to wear any shirts. That’s just ridiculous. This isn’t purposeless and it not inherently for Pritzus.”
It doesn’t have to be “inherently” for Pritzus. I don’t know exactly what you mean, but where do you make this one up from? I was just using the word nice instead of Prust. Yes -it’s Prust to wear red clothes. Yes -it’s Prust to have these Mohawk and every other type of haircut. And I’m saying it’s also Prust to have body piercing. I’m not saying the biggest Chidush here. Just because the S’A doesn’t say every possible scenario that could ever happen -doesn’t mean this wouldn’t be included. Don’t Krum up the S’A! If wearing a red dress and/or having long hair is Prust and therefore Ossur, this for sure is!