Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Sam2 -The same reason red shoelaces are Ossur because the GOYIM think it’s nice. I think piercings are even worse than clothing that is Ossur!
PBA -“I don’t think it is relevant to lashon hara whether what the person did is actually wrong, unless the action takes the person out of klal amisecha, which I don’t think is relevant here.”
Exactly. So go and look it up. If you’re too lazy -the CC says if a person does an Aveira B’meizid more than once -you can speak LH on him/her. And this is the case of the OP by her own admission!
Sam2 – Thanks for your P’sak, but I disagree! Care to share why you hold this way?
i love coffe -“But, the community I live in and the people I am surrounded by would probably not permit it. Oh well. I guess its not going to happen”
popa_bar_abba -“You know, I just saw a girl with a nose piercing, and I was thinking how unfrum it looked.
But really, what’s the big deal?
I mean, if a girl in flatbush did it, it would stand out. But other than that, why not?”
skiaddict -“If the frum community would let, i would totally get my nose pierced, also multiple ear rings.”
Why are the three of you concerened about the outward appearance?
How about that your main concern is that whether it is Ossur from the Torah? And I’m sure it is. See above!
soliek -“sure why not…didnt eliezer give rivkah nose rings when they met? or is my memory a bit fuzzy…”
DaasYochid -“It’s not inherently assur, as soliek points out, but a part of tznius is not standing out, and with our contemporary styles, I would think that it’s currently assur.”
I disagree with the two of you! Ever hear of V’chukosayhem Lo Saylaychu? Nose rings haven’t been worn since the time of the Avos in the Frum community. (Ok, maybe not so far back, but definitely not in the recent past!)
Josh31 -“In general the more men can step up to the plate and serve in the army when needed and use their individualism to create wealth afterwards, the easier the ideal of “Kol kevuda bas melech …” can be pursued.”
This isn’t about ideals, the girls aren’t allowed to join -PERIOD!!!!!!
Says me -“was allowed to speak to the friend abt the tznius (NOT abt hurting the relative)”
Sorry, once a person is permittted to speak LH -what could possibly be wrong to say that the relative would be embarrassed or upset at the way she dressed? This isn’t hurting the relative directly.
PBA -“Isn’t this identical to the story of Miriam, where both miriam and aharon knew what had happened, and it was still lashon hara to talk about it it in a derogatory manner”
No, of course not. Moshe Rabbeynu never did anything wrong. Miriam had absolutely no Heter to speak about him.
“It says in 4:6 that you are allowed to tell someone’s rebbi about his aveiros if that will help him, and you can even do so…”
You should have kept going. It says in 4:7 that you can speak LH on s/o who does like in the case of the OP -continously.
i love coffe -“I’m wondering if it would be problematic to take psychology in a Jewish college. Any problems with it?”
Sorry, I don’t see a problem with Psych from any college.
ARWF -Lock yourself in the computer room and post all day in the CR. Let them kill themselves all day and have your hubby clean up the mess afterwards!
skiaddict -Ask him where this Gemorah is?
SaysMe -“Speaking loshon hora also affects people, and we cannot say which is the worse aveira. Can you expect ppl to always be able to stop themselves and never fall?”
No, people do Aveiros, but they should expect others to call them out about them. I’ve learnt the Chofetz Chaim and I can only say that the girl who told over what the lady said is Oiver the Issur of Rechilous. The lady herself, probably did nothing wrong, because the OP admits she didn’t dress Tzinus and she has a problem with Tzinus (in other words -it ain’t her first time).
So the C.C. says you can speak LH in this case!
zahavasdad – Most colleges require Psch. I had to take it. A lot are now requiring philosopy and gender equality (Women studies). These classes are problematic.
mamashtakah -Yes, she is serving Israel -she isn’t serving Hashem.
The purpose of e/o is to serve Hashem and Israel is Not in place of G-d. Lest you think that this is my opinion in general about going to the Israeli army – perhaps it is. But I wouldn’t castigate anyone (male) who decided to join because there are Gedolim who held it was/is Mutter. There is NO excuse or HETER for a female to join the Israeli army, even though they say it’s good for morale.
dvorak -“I was told 1 glass of wine per week is OK. Basically, you need to drink quite a lot to actually cause fetal alcohol syndrome. Also, since no one is about to actually subject pregnant women to studies to actually find the line, they err on the side of caution and say no alcohol at all. Most experienced OB’s if you press them will admit that a little bit is fine and will cite the 1-2 glasses per week rule.”
You are failing to differentiate between a possibility and a likelihood. No one can say any amount of alcohol is safe, even if there is a very low possibility of harm!
From the CDC & P:
“Alcohol Use in Pregnancy
There is no known safe amount of alcohol to drink while pregnant. There is also no safe time during pregnancy to drink and no safe kind of alcohol. CDC urges pregnant women not to drink alcohol any time during pregnancy.
Women also should not drink alcohol if they are planning to become pregnant. This is because a woman could become pregnant and not know for several weeks or more. In the United States half of all pregnancies are unplanned.
FASDs are 100% preventable. If a woman doesn’t drink alcohol while she is pregnant, her child cannot have an FASD.
Why Alcohol is Dangerous
When a pregnant woman drinks alcohol, so does her unborn baby. Alcohol in the mother’s blood passes through the placenta to the baby through the umbilical cord. Drinking alcohol during pregnancy can cause miscarriage, stillbirth, and a range of lifelong disorders, known as fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASDs). Children with FASDs might have the following characteristics and behaviors:
Abnormal facial features, such as a smooth ridge between the nose and upper lip (this ridge is called the philtrum)
Small head size
Shorter-than-average height
Low body weight
Poor coordination
Hyperactive behavior
Difficulty paying attention
Poor memory
Difficulty in school (especially with math)
Learning disabilities
Speech and language delays
Intellectual disability or low IQ
Poor reasoning and judgment skills
Sleep and sucking problems as a baby
Vision or hearing problems
Problems with the heart, kidney, or bones
How Much Alcohol is Dangerous
There is no known safe amount of alcohol to drink while pregnant.
When Alcohol is Dangerous
If a woman is drinking alcohol during pregnancy, it is never too late to stop. The sooner a woman stops drinking, the better it will be for both her baby and herself.”
The problem with this topic is that we don’t know exactly what the OP did wrong. E/o is just assuming that the older lady spoke LH. Perhaps she spoke LH and perhaps not. The OP is Not going to admit she walked in with a mini-skirt or a very low cut blouse, if she did. She also won’t admit that she does this all the time, if she does.
One thing I agree with is Don’t Judge Others! Since we don’t know whether the OP did a major breach of Tzinius or a minor breach -why is e/o taking sides? If it was a minor, then the lady who spoke about her was wrong. If it was a major, the lady who spoke bad – was doing the right thing! My post before was just giving some practical advice – I wasn’t taking sides!
Sam2 -Owns means -fires/hires. Their voice matters. So if their Hashkofas aren’t up to par, this effects the school, whether people admit it or not!
miritchka -“My point is that the BY and Yeshivos should prepare their students of how to behave in those environments. Even if they hold its assur, they should be teaching their students how to live the way that they were taught in this confusing world.”
I understand your way of thinking, but the schools can’t go along with that because then they would be hypocrites. They’re screaming college is Ossur, but they will teach – this is the way to handle it when you are there. They don’t want anybody to think that they aren’t practicing what they preach. Even if the reality is people go -they are on their own. They won’t prepare them for such an eventuality!
mamashtakah -“Health, our rebbeim learned and received their smicha in E”Y. They know the relevant halachot very well, and I’m very sure they know them better than you.”
No matter that they are Poiskim and have Smicha, they can’t argue with Gedolim of Yesteryear. As far as I know – No Godol ever permitted a girl to join the army!
chocandpatience -“Health, I don’t think you are right to ‘educate’ mamashtakah. Not in this way, and not at all.”
If s/o posts in this Frum site -something against Torah/Halacha e/o should stand up and scream, not just me!!
NY100k – I agree.
How about this? If you don’t want people to judge you or look at you -don’t give them any reason to!!!!!!!!!!! ;@ 🙂
Ron – I live in Jersey & most posters here live in NY.
If I was a criminal -I’d move to Massachusetts. Land of the most insane libs. I guess when Kennedy was driving that girl into the water -he didn’t want anybody to stop him by spraying him with Mace, so they have this law about Mace. Talk about an upside world. Is self-defense a crime in Mass.? You probably have to let yourself be robbed, rather than fight back! Something that will trickle to our area, sooner or later, unless we eradicate these libs from our Gov.!
mamashtakah -“Why? Because they know how to make a psak based on a particular situation, instead of just putting everything under a blanket “it’s assur?”
Because these people can’t find exceptions to the rule, if they don’t know the Rule! If they never spoke to these Gedolim and know all the reasons why they said this is Ossur – how would they know when there is an exception????
Sam2 – You evaded my post. Who owns YU? As far as I know, it’s not the Roshei Hayeshiva. Once we know who owns it -a board, an individual, we can discuss their Haskofahs. No one else makes policy, even if they claim they do.
yungerman1 -I’d take the 22 -Much easier to fire and conceal; but with all the crazy gun laws -don’t carry/own a gun. I talked about this many times. Even if you do a justified shooting in your own house and the Grand Jury that will be appointed finds you innocent, the perp or his family (if you got him between the eyes) will sue. They will bankrupt you just from having to pay lawyers to defend you, even if the suit doesn’t win! Do yourself a favor buy some Mace or pepper spray!
frumnotyeshivish -“Based on the lack of subjective details in the question, I assumed the question was an objective one. When you offend yourself by jumping to too many conclusions, you look foolish and only hurt yourself.”
Wow – what a whole bunch of double talk and Naarishkeit. You jumped to the conclusion that the OP wanted something other than he asked. So therefore you come again to your own conclusion that you’re correct when you posted that you didn’t recommend YU over Touro. Sorry, most people aren’t such a Drey-Kup like you.
If asked where to go and you reply Touro sucks -YOU IMPLY that he should go to YU!
But keep on posting -it’s fun to watch you dig yourself in deeper and deeper and looking more foolish with each post!
Sam2 -Look I’m not familiar with YU that much, but they were only hired hands (as far as I know) -so they don’t/didn’t pull the final strings. The question as to who does and what his/their level of Haskofah is/are is a very strong question!
miritchka -“I understand that a BY or Yeshiva may hold its not a good idea to go to college. But in this day and age, when most men and women have to work to pay the bills, wouldnt a good yeshiva or BY teach and engrave the middos and hashkafos that the girl/boy should have to be able to go to college or at work.”
No, that’s your fundamental mistake -they HOLD it’s Ossur to go to college, nothing to do with good or bad idea!
“To my knowledge, a BY or yeshiva is there to teachtorah, to teach middos, to teach how to behave when they do leave the BY/Yeshiva setting. Not to dictate.”
Yes to all of the above, but they dictate when they teach Torah.
So they will dictate to those in their schools -that it’s Ossur to go to college!
Yenta -“2-these doctors obviously have more experience than me”
Even if you were a licensed RN with more experience -you would still have to listen to them because they are the Docs!
My point to you was don’t believe everything s/o says or posts. In this case the docs probably just said like I posted -just a taste. But you backed down from the poster as soon as she/he posted that docs disagree. When you start getting orders in medicine -if something doesn’t feel right or you know it’s not right -it’s your job to question!
Just some free neighborly advice!
mamashtakah -“In your opinion.”
Actually I have no opinion on this. This is the opinion of Gedolim who lived before I was born and it is very sad that some people who call themselves Rabbis told you it’s ok for a girl to be in the army!
thecuriousone -“In terms of DO – I don’t have anything against it, but I would rather go though the MD track. Even though I know there is practically no difference between the two these days!
At the end of the day, people gravitate more to MDs than DOs at least for now.”
Look no one said you have to become a DO, but you are closing all doors before any is opened up. Apply to DO schools, apply to RWJ in NJ. If they accept you and others do too -you’ll have the choice of where to go. But if no one accepts you -maybe these will. And in NJ, where I live there seems to be more DO’s practicing than MD’s. I also recommend sending the schools as many professional recommendations that you can get your hands on. Do you know any Docs? Get from all previous professors.
mik5 -“How can I explain to a frei yid certain “racist” statements in the Torah, Talmud, etc.”
Why are we on the defensive? We haven’t even wiped out Amalek yet, let alone the 7 nations! And Germany wiped out from us 6 million; besides that throughout the generations we have been subjected to racism time and again. I’ve found libs to be the biggest racists. They protect every sort of person from discrimination in the workplace except Shomer Shabbos workers.
Yea, it’s on the books, but the lib Supreme Court dismembered it.
I’m not aware of any case where this law was upheld in Federal court in the 2nd or 3rd districts where most Jews live! I personally saw the racism in the Courts when I tried to Sue for Shabbos discrimination. We don’t have to be on the defensive – they do. People who live by the Torah aren’t barbaric – they are. As much as they pretend to be human -they are nothing but Savages. This is why Michael Weiner calls his show the Savage Nation. He isn’t against the conservatives in this country, just the libs. He realizes this reality and he doesn’t even know much Torah. They are the real savages, in spite of their phoney smiles and their tolerance for everything. (Only for everything that is wrong & immoral in this world. They have no tolerance for religion or tradition.)
That’s your mistake, even thinking we have to answer them. They have to answer to us. Some people say that Germany is Amalek -Do we have to defend ourselves for promising to kill out every Nazi after they killed out 6 million of us? The Torah knew from beginning what type of people they are (Amalek & company) and called for their total destruction. Why do we keep lions and tigers locked in the zoo and when they escaped (which happened recently) they were shot and killed, if they couldn’t be caught? Why do we discriminate against them? Maybe there isn’t Nazi Germany anymore, but many nations nowadays have the same philosophy as the Nazis did, eg. many Arab nations. Clearly you are not thinking straight if you feel that we have to answer to them!!!!
mamashtakah -“I went to a tekes for my daughter last week, and the only way I was able to pick her out of the crowd was because she had a different color kumta (beret) than everyone else!”
It’s Ossur Gomur for a Jewish girl to join the army!
A Heimishe Mom -“Individualism is assur in Lakewood! Didn’t you know that?”
100%! That’s why there are whole bunch of us on the Net -me, yitay, BTguy, etc. If it was just one of us -they’d throw us out of Lakewood for doing Individualism! ;0
Yenta – “oneofmany, if its ok to drink in moderation why do my profs tell us NO alcohol during pregnancy?”
Your professors are correct.
“oneofmany, if their doctors OK it, thats fine by me. the problem with school is they have to teach you ‘the books’ and not what’s done in real life.”
Don’t sell your profession short because s/o disagrees!
“OneOfMany -yentingyenta: Dunno about your professors, but I have several pregnant friends and their docs all told them it’s okay in strictly limited quantities. Like kiddush wine. Your professor and their doctors can duke it out, if you’d like.”
Now your post is problematic -if you mean a taste from the Kiddush wine -I doubt that would affect the fetus; OTOH if you mean a few ounces – it might.
From Emedicine:
“With regard to pregnancy, fetal alcohol syndrome is the leading known cause of mental retardation (1 in 1000 births). More than 2000 infants annually are born with this condition in the United States. Alcohol-related birth defects and neurodevelopmental problems are estimated to be 3 times higher. Even small amounts of alcohol consumption may be risky in pregnancy. A 2001 study by Sood et al reported that children aged 6-7 years whose mothers consumed alcohol even in small amounts had more behavioral problems.[11] In a study from 2003, Baer et al showed that moderate alcohol consumption while pregnant resulted in a higher incidence of offspring problem drinking at age 21 years, even after controlling for family history and other environmental factors.[12] All women who are pregnant or planning to become pregnant should avoid alcohol.”
Bottom line is – Drinking is a No-No! Tasting shouldn’t be a problem.
frumnotyeshivish -“I never said to go there. You read what you want to read. The question seemed to be which degree or secular education is better.”
Now you are being totally dishonest. What do you take us for – 2 year-olds?
“Touro or YU?
Abelleh
Member
Where should I go? What are the benefits/disadvantages with both?”
And you posted:
“frumnotyeshivish – Touro is very well known… as a place that got caught selling degrees. It is ranked the 94th best regional university in the north by u.s.news (the most respected rankings). YU is the 45th best NATIONAL university.(not that I’m saying to go to YU but the contention that Touro is in any way respected anywhere is ludicrous.)”
True you never said outright to go there, but you were answering his question, presumably because you posted on this topic. The question was where should he go Touro or YU? And list the good and bad of each. You ranked out Touro for two reasons and said nothing good about them. This implies that he should go to YU!
“You read what you want to read. The question seemed to be which degree or secular education is better.”
Actually, you are reading what you want to read. He never asked which degree or secular education is better. Maybe you can interpret this as part of the question, but that Wasn’t the question!
So he asked -where should he go (Touro or YU)? And you answered Touro sucks!
And now you are trying to Con us that you weren’t suggesting YU over Touro!!!
“(not that I’m saying to go to YU but the contention that Touro is in any way respected anywhere is ludicrous.)”
Yes, that’s exactly what you are saying because you didn’t post anything positive about Touro!
always runs with scissors fast -“mikehall, just to fill you in, Health here thinks EVERYONE needs a mental health professional and meds.”
A bit of an exaggeration -don’t you think? I might have called people crazy, but I never said e/o is crazy!
Btw, I wasn’t the first person on this thread to call them crazy -I just agreed with them. By all means, if you have a reason why these people are in the realm of normalcy, please post.
“She/HE mentions it in other threads too.”
Stop with the PC, e/o knows I’m a man.
“I just don’t like the hostility and antagonistic personality.”
Look if you have a valid argument -post it! Stop stooping to character assassination because you don’t like my opinion!
i love coffe -“They will ask, “why isn’t he in Yeshiva?” But the moment they need a psychologist they would go running after him… (Double standards?)”
In a way it is a double standard; and in a way it’s not. It’s not because they would just say no one should go to college and I’ll use an Ehliche Goy for my Doc, shrink, etc. But if a Jew became one already and is basically Frum -I’ll use him.
(Remember, this is what they’d say, not necessarily what I personally hold.)
old man -Another well thought out post.
Imaofthree -“I am not an expert but it seems to me that these women have OCD in which they take religion to the extreme.”
Yes, you are not an expert – so be quiet. I have to make a Mechoh in name of all the people who have OCD. While some of these freaks could have OCD or OCD personality disorder, most people who suffer from OCD aren’t this crazy. OCD is Not like it’s portrayed on TV – like in shows such as Hoarders. These people have the most extreme cases. To reference OCD with these people is to malign most people that have OCD. These people are more likely psychotics or the very extreme cases of OCD. The avg. guy/gal with OCD isn’t a psychotic!
“They need to be seen by a professional and take medication.”
Yes, they do!
frumnotyeshivish -“Health – My friend with the ironic name:”
What’s ironic about it?
“The reason NIRC was never mentioned is b/c it was never asked about.”
So since he didn’t mention it -you can’t suggest it???
“I apologize for mentioning the scandal. Although I don’t agree with you that it is LH or MSR, it wasn’t a crucial part of my point which was namely that YU is clearly, without a shadow of a doubt, a much, much, more academically respected institution in the SECULAR world, than Touro.”
You still don’t get it. First of all, there is at least one program in Touro that is the top of the nation, as I mentioned earlier.
Secondly, a Frum, Ehliche, Yid shouldn’t go there (YU) because the school doesn’t have proper Haskofos, even if some in the administration do!
“That said, personally if I had to choose between them, likely, I’d choose Touro. Not that it matters…”
Hypocrisy at it’s finest -the OP should go there, but you wouldn’t!
kfb -“YU does have learning also,”
Hit the nail on the head -“Also”. Most Frum Jews hold this is primary, not secondary.
“The hashkafa of YU is definitely needed in our World, to work and learn; many people forget that they have to work also.”
WHY????
And btw, that isn’t their Haskafah -See above.
“Yes there are non-religous Jews at YU but overall it’s a Jewish enviroment, plus Touro has goyim!”
I’d rather sit next to a Goy than a Krumme Yid!
thecuriousone -“I’m assuming from your screen name that you are in health care as well – what do you do?”
Yes, I’m in the medical field; can’t answer the second half because of privacy concerns here in the CR.
“I applied to practically every NY med school, as well as a bunch of out-of-state schools (Northwestern, Georgetown, George Washington, Hopkins, etc).”
A lot of Frum Jews go to Downstate. You should also apply to “DO” schools -I think there are 3 in the NYC area. Also Robert Wood Johnson U of M&D in NJ.
I got mine at Nine y.o. So this BT should travel back in time and buy one at Nine!
miritchka -“This issue bothers me too. I believe college is important and should be an option to all. Why would a BY or Yeshiva discourage their students from going?!”
Because it’s against their Haskofah!
“One of the reasons BY and Yeshiva is there is to teach the child torah and show them the right way. They shouldnt dictate a persons life, they should encourage the right way and show them the positive way to go about things.”
That’s part of their job -telling what to do in life!
“If a BY or Yeshiva is worried about a child changing because of college, could it be that they arent doing a good job?!”
Maybe telling kids to stay away from college is their Job?
I’m not against college personally, but at least I understand their point of view!
Good Luck! Which ones did you apply to?
hello99 -“The physics of a microwave makes it extremely likely that the steam pressure will burst any wrappings.
if it doesn’t burst, you’re fine. I don’t recommend it because it is a risk. If only a small amount of steam is escaping, it may not be a problem”
I don’t see what you’re afraid of because you posted above:
“Anyways, a liquid heated for more than a minute or so DOES make the roof of a microwave hot.”
If it bursts this usually happens right before the ending time -so how would the roof get hot?
yid -“Can we close this? It’s gotten pretty ridiculous.
But before you do…”
So you want the Mods to close this thread only after you get the last word, Hmmm?
“Health, my friend. Why the name calling? Why the personal attacks? Do you consider yourself a Ben Torah? Is this how one should act?”
There was no name calling. I called you a MO Jew, you didn’t like that so I called you Frei to make you happier. Why can’t you man up and admit you are MO?
“What reason do you have to call into question President Joel’s frumkeit? Yes, he is shomer Shabbos, and I’m offended by you asking that.”
Because, I was curious, nothing to be offended about.
“And I assumed you were talking about President Joel because you mentioned the President of YU…. I’m missing my “inconsistency.”
Why assume something and then base your comments to me on your assumptions? You don’t think there is a problem with this?
“Your inconsistencies on the other hand begin with your personal attacks on the holier than thou platform of defending the Shem of Touro hakadosh. And your decrying Lashon Hara and Motzi Shem Ra as you cast aspersions on an entire institution of thousands of people who (at least regarding the leaders) by no means can be put into the same category other than “orthodox.”
Read R. Lamm’s article -he says clearly that YU is in a different category. You can disagree, but he represents YU, not you!
And I told you why you can’t speak bad about Touro because the leadership have done nothing wrong, so besmirching the school is besmirching them and this is Ossur. On the other hand, the leaders of YU have done things wrong and I’ve given examples above. If anything the question remains how could thousands of people who proscribe acc. to you to the Orthodox “Frum” way of life join such an institution?
“I’m curious if you would call Rav Hirsch a frei yid as well C”V?”
Rav Hirsch is probably turning over in his grave if he knows that you used his name to defend YU!
hello99 -“The physics of a microwave makes it extremely likely that the steam pressure will burst any wrappings.”
What if one is a box and it doesn’t burst?
I hardly did anything rebellious in my teenage years. That I started in my twenties. Now more than ever I feel like a teen -so the best is yet to come!