Person1

I think this is just wrong. If in your community people don’t wear hats when walking in the street then there is no inyan whatsoever to do so.

(Edited for a too aggresive tone)

LU no I’m sorry I should have asked you to clearify before going on a rant. Thank you for explaining.

I don’t like the attitude you describe either. I’ve never heard of a guy who asked a girl to travel on a first date. On one case a guy told the shadchan that he couldn’t date because he’s to busy and the girl offered herself to travel.

I wonder don’t they talk about this in seminaries? I’m sometimes confused about what the torah wants from women. But no one talked about it in the yeshiva. I’d expact they would in seminaries though.

LU every time I read your post I get angrier. Let me first say that I’ve asked a girl to travel only twice and I hated it. nevertheless the assumptions you make on your post are just not true.

Here is the reasoning you gave: 1. Men are from Mars agrees with what you said 2. a rav told your friend what you said 3. Guys are asking girls to travel to their place because they don’t value them enough.

I don’t need to answer 1 and 2. As for 3, here’s a scenerio for you. It’s busy time at college. I’ve travelled to the girl’s place on the first three dates, Therefore I missed 3 days of studies. I have tons of homework. So I ask the girl to travel. Does that mean my attitude is “there are so many girls to date, I don’t need to travel in order to date.”

The thing is, guys avoid dating girls who live out of town. They avoid dating during exam saeason. They scedule one date a week. This is what they actually do when it’s impossible for them to spend whole days on the road. It’s not so bad if the girls made it easier on them from time to time.

LU I know. I suppose I forgot to put up my “being cynical” sign.

What I meant is if what Joseph implied is not factualy correct (there is no correlation between not being able to spell corectly and being yeshivish) than it’s not ok to say it. Because then you deny yeshivish guys the maala (credit) that they are great at spelling even though they are great lamdanim!

But honestly what bothered me Joseph is that you made it ilegitemate to turn down a guy for a very legitemate reason.

(: he should have asked someone to look it over. They all should. my funniest one was “he should be shaved”. In an other one it said he needs to be “intellectual” but it was clear from the girl’s background she meant intelligent. Not a Mozart listener for sure.

That remins me I was redt a girl and my friend was redt her sister. We compared resumes and it was exactly the same except tiny changes. So much for older girls being different.

Any source for rav elyashiv saying that?

And even if he did say that it doesn’t mean there’s a consensus.

LU just wanted to say that I agree that people can smoke and still be kosher yiden otherwise – in torah and maasim tovim – but I wouldn’t say the same about someone who is not shomer negiah.

By the way, how did the term “shomer negiah” get to america? It sounds very modern Hebrew.

lilmod ulelamaid: “we only know what the Torah wants from us by listening to our Gedolim” The torah says you should not harm yourself. Smoking is harmful. What is there to ask?

But even if for some reason you thought that you should ask a rabbi, go ask them. But to say “because they don’t say anything they’re probably ok with it” is very very wrong. You should take responsibility for your actions. You don’t have to wait for anyone to tell you something is wrong when it’s clear it’s wrong.

apushatayid the right way to decide asur and mutar is by reading what the torah says and trying to understand it to the best of your abilities. That’s what hashem gave you brain for.

If you are bewildered by the way the gdoylim handle the situation you are welcome to ask them. But you are not patur from doing what the torah tells you.

Sparkly smartphones give you access to prizut sites (I used a different word the previous time which is probably why it got deleted)

Also they can easily lead to addiction and cause huge amounts of time – time otherwise spent on good things.

Ironically I’m writing this from my smartphone. I have an app which solves the first problem but the second one is still an issue.

Sparkly:

Smartphones are asur if they give you access to inappropriate sites. modified

Smartphones are very easy to get addicted to. They cause a huge waste of time otherwise spent on good things.

Sparkly I don’t like to have to guess what you mean and answer accordingly. If you want to argue please state your opinion clearly. This is just a waste of time.

Sparkly what I meant is that it’s ok to say smoking is wrong and that asur. But if you say people who smoke are otd you make the torah about one thing. Suppose I said: “People who have smartphons should be considered otd” (some people would say that) how would you react?

YW Moderator-29 to be honest this is the first time I’ve heard about a forum that doesn’t publish comments until they are reviewd by moderators. I wish it was more widespread concept.

I hope we someday get to the point where computers are able to do your work, so you can spend all your time in keeping the world safe. In the meanwhile keep up the good work.

Also my original comment has dissapeared so your answer looks out of context.

Abba_s you’re right but I was actually trying to be funny (:

Dear moderator and Meno I’m not sure whether I’m the butt of the joke but I sure don’t understand it. I was seriously asking why I experience long delays in the forum. Am I the only one having this problem? Or do the moderator here have to read each and every message before it gets posted?

Think how much trees it would save of we actually stopped using whitespace.

I think sometimes moving schools is best. You try various solutions (e.g. talking to parentsteachers) for a year or two, and in the meanwhile your kid goes to school every day to be humiliated and laughed at. Would any of us stay at a work place where they call you names and throw things at you?

People say he should learn to cope but sometimes they are just afraid his pride would get hurt by giving in. Well pride isn’t such a great thing anyway.

Mashiach Agent I don’t quite agree with you.

Many people who are depressed aren’t this way because they objectively think their life are bad.

Some people live in very good conditions (E.G. they have a caring family. and a stable job) and they are still depressed. So even by secular standards they shoud be happy with their life. And they are not!

There’s someone I know who’s depressed. And I wish this person knew how much their spouse needs them and loves them, And how much their children love them and what an impact they can have on their life.

So I think that many times you don’t need Chovos Halevavos to rule out depression being logical. Problem is, it’s sickness and it doesn’t succumb to logic.

Yes it is expensive. It’s mandatory to take at least 30 driving reasons from a certified teacher, each is 40 minute long and costs about 30$. People who are less confident on the wheel might take more lessonss – I know someone who took 70 before even trying for the first test!

The test itself costs plenty, so you can only hope you pass on the firstsecond try!

Also I take it in the US you can take lessons from your parents? That’s something we can only dream about.

Nevertheless most people do drive cars. The statistics change for the very frum ones though. They often can’t afford the whole process. Add to that the fact that getting a license is forbidden in many yeshivot, and is discouragedbanned for women at any stage of life in some communities, and you’?l get the picture.