MAILBAG: Fat Cat Millionaires Want Applause For “Solving” Frum Family Budget Problems They Created


I recently came across the advertisement in a very well-known weekend magazine promoting an upcoming charity baseball game, aimed at “raising awareness” and funds for an institution that provides financial literacy and coaching. On the surface, this seems like a noble cause. But dig even slightly below that surface, and the entire premise starts to reek of hypocrisy—and frankly, insult.

Among the event’s proud sponsors are several corporations whose executives are making tens of millions of dollars annually, while the workers they employ, many of whom are the very “target demographic” for this charity—are barely scraping by. These same employees are expected to smile while their employers publicly pat themselves on the back for “helping” people better understand budgeting, when the brutal truth is this: no amount of budgeting advice can make up for wages that have stagnated while the cost of living has soared.

You want to teach people how to manage their finances? Start by acknowledging the core issue: they are not being paid enough.

It’s absurd—offensive, even—to suggest that the working class needs a lesson in frugality, while the corporate elite sponsoring this event continue to rake in record profits. Walk into any of these companies’ offices—especially some of the very ones listed as event sponsors—and you’ll see the glaring inequity. Senior staff and executives are compensated handsomely, living in a completely different financial universe, while the rest are stretched so thin they’re practically transparent. And now we’re pretending this same system can be solved with financial “education”?

This isn’t philanthropy. It’s PR. A marketing ploy designed to distract from the reality that many of these business leaders could make a direct, meaningful difference in their employees’ lives by doing something revolutionary—paying them fairly.

No one is asking these owners to forfeit their wealth. But maybe—just maybe—instead of sponsoring a game that feels more like a slap in the face than a helping hand, they could take real action. Not symbolic. Not performative. Real.

Until then, the rest of us are left to watch this tone-deaf charade unfold, wondering how long we’ll be told that budgeting is the problem, instead of the system that keeps people underpaid in the first place. We all agree that these owners are entitled to whatever they want; they own these companies and can call the shots. But let’s not pretend that the answer to a father of five making $85,000 annually is better budgeting.

Sincerely,

A hardworking individual, who is paid a salary you’d think is enough, but it just isn’t

The views expressed in this letter are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review. 



36 Responses

  1. No one twisted your arm to accept the job that you have.
    your parnosah is based on the eibershter and the hishtadlus that your doing either you need to mishtadel more or daven better. be what it might true success is on the person himself how you perfect your defaults blaming other people just delays the process

  2. This author is spouting pure lashon harah aimed at people (yes, they are wealthy, but they are still people) who actually are well meaning.
    An owner of a company takes a tremendous risk whenever he starts a new venture, This includes sleepless nights, stress, tears and many evening away from their families, amongst other (very real) tzaros that they go through. When Hashem answers them with the siyata d’Shmaya to have a successful business, they are b”H rewarded with wealth.
    There is no halacha that states that they have to give their workers equal pay to what they receive, There isn’t even a halacha that a boss should give his worker a paycheck above his paygrade just because the company made money.
    The author sounds like a hard worker, but unless his boss is underpaying him for what his job entails, this whole article is not just lashon hara, but is also sheker and motzi shem ra. (the comment at the end about the bosses having a right to their own money is just a cheap way to justify the article but actually undercuts it.)
    Besides, who made up this conspiracy theory about the baseball game being an evil PR stunt that is “a slap in the face”? Why can’t you just take it at face value, as a well meaning attempt to help people.

  3. on a salary of $85000 for someone still renting a apartment it is possible to rent for $24000 Basement in Lakewood – Sunday night leftovers from shabbat the other 4 nights rice and beans – grill cheese with and without ketchup with bread collected from the thousands of loafs thrown out by yeshivos daily- baked potatos and sweet potatoes – baked tillapia fillet not expensive breaded with 6 kids $2000 monthly groceries
    $40000 tuition and day camps- children are eligible for gov’t health insurance and refuah healthshare is $370 monthly for couple
    you will need to bike to work because no $ left for car – or dental work or tutor for children – make sure your boss allows you to collect on purim for your family

  4. @imfarginer (A hardworking individual, who is paid a salary you’d think is enough, but it just isn’t) yes people earning only 85k with 5 kids can definitely use budgeting advice, also they may be advised or coached how to ask for a raise or to switch jobs or pursue a higher paying career suitable for them and their budget requirements, just look at the people who figured it out for themselves and earn what they need to live comfortably. “adam leamal yulad” “emor meat vasei harbeh” and so on if you needed the extra motivation!

  5. Partially agree, partially disagree. I don’t think it’s really reasonable to expect a business to pay more than the market value for the labor the workers provide. Businesses exist to make money. Asking a business owner to pay a father of five whatever it would cost to support said family in Lakewood (for reasons beyond the control of any lone business owner) when the labor can be hired for 85K is essentially asking for the owner to give away many tens of thousands of dollars a year. I doubt any business could be profitable and provide anything approaching a “frum living wage” at any scale.

    On the other hand, I assume the owners give at least maaser to tzedaka. One wonders how much money gets diverted into various “pet projects” with dubious results at the expense of the mosdos hachinuch, and, in turn, how much tuition – the main driver of the cost of frum living – could be brought down with more support from those who can offer it.

  6. “Pay them fairly” is a very vague concept. Can you explain how you determine “fair” pay?
    Salary is no different than any other business deal.
    I (exaggerated) offer you a job as janitor for $1/hr. You tell me you won’t work for $1/hr.
    You offer to be my janitor for $100/hr.
    I tell you I’m not willing to pay $100/hr for a janitor.
    I tell you I’m willing to pay you $15/hr.
    You tell me you’re willing to be my janitor for $15/hr.
    That is the “Fair pay”
    An amount that both parties accept.

  7. I agree with “mevaker”. There is no obligation for a business owner to pay a worker more than the market value of his work – set by supply and demand. If he is being paid at the market value set by supply and demand, there is no ona’ah and the worker has no complaint. (True, sometimes it may be hard to know exactly what the market rate is, since both employers and employers tend to be secretive about how much they pay and/or earn. But with enough effort, it can be determined.)
    BUT – it is incumbent on those who have money to give Maaser PROPERLY – i.e. support people who need it, not waste it on projects that don’t serve to really help those in need but rather give the donors kavod. I am not familiar with the project being discussed but this project discussed certainly sounds like massive waste of money which doesn’t help those in need. On that point I’m in full agreement with the article writer.

  8. Kuvult, correct but in the last few years the prices went up by about 20-30%, do you know any salaries that went up by that much?

  9. Thank you for such a great waking up article. The first thing I will do beli nayder this coming Sunday will be reviewing all my hard working employees financial situation and make sure that their salaries are sufficient to support their families in a bechuvidige way and raise their salaries to be fair and reasonable to today’s workers financial situation.
    I will continue to daven to hashem that the company should be able to provide the raises for all workers.
    I will also look into how myself can cut expenses to ensure that we can provide more for our hard working families.

  10. Contrary to popular belief, most millionaires are actually what you would call “self made”. (I don’t like using that description, because parnassah comes from Hashem, but for lack of a better term, I will stick to that).

    In most cases, to become a millionaire, you need to squeeze every penny and learn how to be frugal and smart. You also need to take significant risk that most people don’t have the appetite for.

    While I don’t know what PR event the author is referring to, I can confidently say that millionaires understand a thing or two about saving money.

    Yes, they are millionaires now, but to get there, they needed to go through Gehenom, and they know what that feels like.

    For me, I had to make a decision at some point whether I will be giving up my day job to focus on my business. With a mortgage to pay, a family to feed and clothe, and about 80K in credit card debt, I had to spend years crawling out of it, always second-guessing myself as to whether I should just go back and get a day job.

    I know what it means to watch every dollar, and I expect that other business owners do as well.

    So yes, even though today I don’t have to live frugally and watch every dollar, I believe I have a lot to offer from my own experience getting out of debt.

  11. By the way I don’t drive a luxury car, I don’t have a Summer home and a winter home in Florida. I don’t travel First class on my business trips . I don’t travel to Eretz Yisroel for Succos and Pesach with my family and hire a private cook.
    My family simches are very modest and not in any way expensive . I don’t have to convince my friends from shul or my neighbors that I can make a more expensive Simche then they can afford.
    I just want to know that the people who work for me are compensated by a salary that they can afford to support their families bederech kuved.

  12. Has the author been reading much by Karl Marx recently? That’s a bit of an exaggeration, but not by much.

    Optimally, the free market is what determines the pay for any specific position, with the demand for specific skills and abilities being the determinant. “Fairness” does not mean overpaying someone simply because the business is currently profitable – will that same employee volunteer to take a pay cut when the business isn’t doing as well?

    My suggestion is that in addition to a course on budgeting, this author and those of his ilk take a course in basic economics – since it’s clear from this letter that knowledge of that field is sorely lacking.

    an Israeli Yid

  13. The anarchy and Marxist self centered attitude of this letter writer is mildly off putting.
    The financial illiteracy of the letter writer is mildly disturbing (maybe take one of the courses they are offering).

    If someone owns a business, they are entitled to the profits they earn. You are compensated based on the value you create for the company. Nobody owes you a half a million dollar a year salary unless that is what you negotiated and agreed on.

    Suppose that a wealthy person were to dedicate a million dollars to bettering the lives of people in our community, would it go further by giving 100 people a one time $10,000 bonus, or by helping a few hundred people up-skill (helping them to create more value) enabling them to get a raise?

    As far as applause, I don’t know very many people seeking applause, only basic appreciation and to not have people spot at them.

  14. I’m sorry the blame doesn’t lie with those employing hundreds of yidden at wages often way beyond what these people can earn elsewhere. It lies with those fraudsters who told these people they don’t need to go to college and they don’t need to plan for the future. Those morally bankrupt institutions that taught there students how to beg for money and nothing else.

  15. To the author
    Bad middos all over your letter. We can start with your sense of entitlement. I don’t begrudge your bad middos we all have them. It’s why we were created. To work on our middos. I suggest you speak to a rov about your bitterness and he can help you identify where your going wrong and how to work on it and feel better about yourself and life in general

  16. It takes a lot of courage to leave a low paying job, when you are not making ends meet. I’m willing to bet that the writer of this letter is in a bind that most of you haven’t experienced, with no safety net.

    Yes, We do unfortunately have business owners in our community who take advantage of people in vulnerable situations, give them a dead end job with no room to grow, and no appreciation either, and they feel stuck.

    By the time they realize there is no way to improve their situation where they are, they have more debt, are older, with almost no tranferable skills, and are afraid to risk leaving for a different entry level job. They figure that at least they are covering their current rent.

    Is easy to tell somebody else to have emuna etc. It’s also ona’as devarim.

    I’ve been there.

  17. Many people who became rich was because they listened to advice of successful people. This is true in every field. There will always be rich and poor and budgeting effects everyone. There are rich people who become poor due to not being careful on their spending. I myself earn over 200k a month and yet don’t find it enough. And I know people who earn far less and live a simple life and yet seem to cover their expenses. Running a business costs money too. Rich people making weddings that is expected of them can cost a million dollars. Their kids are charged full tuition plus hefty donations by the yeshivas or shuls they attend. A Pesach or Sukkas program for themselves and extended family is a pretty penny. When they donate to various causes it too adds up. Rich people have very stressful lives and usually no time for their families. Yes they throw their kids money and gifts but time with their kids are rare. On the other hand parents working nine to five can spend real quality time with their family. Maybe they make their Yom tov at home in a budgeted celebration while the rich kids are spoiled rotten and complain how their expensive vacations are boring. Hard working poor people enjoy the basics of life if they know budgeting. It’s good to keep a chesbon how much you spend and where you spend. If you shop for expensive items that are not needed don’t blame others for your spending habits. If you are lazy then even winning the lottery will go lost as most lottery winners who don’t budget lose it all in no time. Also very important is to put away savings. If husbands and wives are smart they stop looking at others as well as crazy ads. There is no need to have a Rolex watch when you can get a watch that works for sixteen dollars on Amazon. All ads for luxury are crazy overpriced. Why do teenagers have to be spoiled into buying real Jewelery when you can go into a 99 cent store and get these fake looking items. Many kids today are obsessed with getting designer jackets,pocketbooks etc. You can buy a pocket book for ten bucks that looks real. It’s not only in the modern orthodox communities but also in the beis yaakov type girls. Kids are going on dangerous vacations skiing and other such water sports in deep waters. Their habits to seek thrills are becoming out of control. Living in todays world of materialism has become a serious problem. Why can’t people live simple and happy. Women who are obsessed with decorating their homes on every detail color as if they will be around for a thousand years. They knock themselves out looking for everything to match while neglecting their children and their own spiritual growth. This is true in every community. Even chassidisha women obsessed in outdoing each other on simchas and home decorating. Why can’t a cholent or potatoe kugel done the way our great grand parents did suffice. Why do you need a dozen types of dips and Shushi on shabbos meals. Live kindly live simply. Advice from this authentic multi millionaire.

  18. Wage stagnation can be painful.
    Stop complaining and do something. Either a side gig after hours and on Sundays.
    Or ask your boss what you can do to add value to the company to deserve higher wages.
    And don’t be one of those people who slack off at work thinking that I don’t get paid enough to work hard. It’s assur and a downward spiral.

  19. There is a difference between paying “market value” and paying “frum market value”. Fact is that we need more because of the lifestyle we have. Shabbos, yom tov, tuition, camps etc. Why would the business owner pay you more when you can be replaced with someone that doesn’t need as much and can get the same job done for less. It’s a business not a charity. You have some valid points but anger is directed at the wrong place.

  20. a lot to unpack
    1. father of 5 making 85 is frustrated , emes! but its not anyones ” fault” including yourself
    2. calling gevirim ” fat cats” is wrong even if it comes from pain
    3. u definitly need a “chassidisher finance guy” to teach you how to make it work, its pikuach nefesh or you will have a heart attack
    4. u are correct that you need more gelt monthly but until than you need a mehalech how to survive.. the good news is no one is eating lukshen nightly for supper , in every shul i went to yom tov the kids were all matching, the girls all the right shoes…even kollel yungeleit had plenty left overs in the fridge motzei yom tov. its a neis and hashem will make the neis for you

  21. It may not be fair to ask for higher salaries, but when it comes to simchas employees make or for employees children tuition, the bosses should be there for their employees as this would be a huge zchus for them as well. Unfortunately some rich people are not really happy and they just dont fargin seeing happy employees and would rather see them suffer. BH this is changing as more rich people are now learning more Torah, which infuses them with the yaitzer tov to do more for their employees, PS – they should also be paying Rebbeim and Moros more as well

  22. Its not about low wages, it’s about living extremely lavish lifestyle, when we live and want to live together with the average person

  23. Do u even know one owner of these companies?
    And I know personally that one of these owners gives 20% maaser so he’s choosing to give tzedaka instead of giving every employee 150k which is a crazy thing to do.
    Plus I’m sure they’re all paying average if not above average salaries.
    So MR whoever you are get your words straight before you talk.

  24. I got excited by the title because i thought the writer was going to say, that these multimillionares who make a 10k kiddush on all types of foods that are unneccessary create the social pressure on the middle class to step it up….. yes everyone needs to be mature and spend what he can buuuutt somebody starts the crazy trends around here and it aint the kolel guy who never heard of half the foods before it becamer absolut standard….

    Signed
    a Yid part of a shul where kiddush is cake herring and kugel.

  25. I don’t believe in socialism. Generally speaking, free market capitalists do make lots more money than the people they hire. Perhaps rather than trying to play “Robin Hood” with big, frum businesses, we should be looking at curtailing and limiting the excesses in our spending. It appears to be almost impossible for a frum family to keep their heads above water financially in the current environment of such conspicuous and out-of-control consumerism. Perhaps this conference will address this critical and dire situation.

  26. There are so many problems with this letter.

    The wealth in Klal Yisroel is not evenly distributed. We just learned about איזהו עשיר השמח בחלקו. The dollar figures do not tell the whole story. In fact, they are not even a part of the story. The Torah never instructed us to redistribute wealth. Karl Marx did. he is not my role model, nor is he my guide. So let’s stop that complaint.

    The author suggested several ideas about how to modify the situation. This totally ignores the fact that such issues involve a multitude of factors. No single idea will correct the matter, and these proposals are just more bellyaching about the problem.

    The insinuation that these “fat cats” created the problem is bizarre, and a baseless accusation. I might have lots of debt. But there isn’t a single millionaire I can fathom that has had any causative role in this, neither directly or indirectly. There are too many wannabes in our community, who choose to live above their means. Our efforts to curtail the frivolous spending patterns for simchos, summer camps and country, vacations, etc. have generally failed. The notion that couples can initiate their married life with a solid footing in entitlements and support has always failed, but continues to be pushed universally. Norms about attire, seminaries, learning in Eretz Yisroel, dedicating years to kollel while delaying entering careers, and many forms of “keeping up with the Joneses (Kleins or whatever)”, are huge factors. So the author of this post cannot tolerate complaining without blaming someone. Sorry, but that’s foolish. Get a life.

  27. Simple and poignant point: Kudos to the wealthy who are kind, sensitive, empathetic and generously share of their resources, frequently ABOVE & BYOND the call of duty. Point made by the author: give in a more efficient manner. Get more bang for your buck. A valid and reasonable point. Wanna disagree? Fine! No need to get nasty, personal and judgmental. Author is raising “ food for thought “. It’s not your taste? Keep scrolling. Maybe he’s right, maybe he’s wrong. He’s initiating conversation and dialogue. Hopefully some people know how to respectfully engage in that in a civilized and Torah true manner. Just sayin!

  28. Having more children with the same income is just like stretching a rubber band until it snaps. There is no obligation to reproduce your way to a heart attack and all the tzoros leading to it.

  29. Just one point based on some of the comments. Increasing an employees salary, even more than the market value, to allow him to make ends meet is probably the highest form of tzedaka.

  30. The letter writer is correct. Budgeting only goes so far. The costs of living a frum life with a large family often just can’t be squared. As long as there are these huge income disparities in our close knit community which then establish unrealistic standards the lower and middle class will often resort to debt fueled spending.

  31. A chassid of the Sfas Emes once had a tenant who was unable to pay his rent. As a result, the chassid evicted him. When the Sfas Emes heard about this, he instructed the chassid to return the apartment to the tenant — rent-free.

    The chassid protested: “Why is the responsibility mine alone? Let the whole town come together and pay his rent.”

    The Sfas Emes replied with a teaching from the Mishnah in Gittin. The Mishnah discusses a case of a half-slave — a person who was owned by two partners, and only one of them freed him. The Mishnah rules that the remaining owner is obligated to free him entirely, even at a loss, to enable the freed man to fully fulfill his mitzvos.

    “From here,” explained the Sfas Emes, “we learn that when a mitzvah of tzedakah or chessed presents itself directly to you — you become responsible. You cannot pass that burden off to the community.”

    This principle extends not only to tenants, but to anyone under your care — including your employees. When someone’s well being is in your hands, it is your obligation to act.

  32. Stop spoiling your kids and you won’t have all these feelings financial problems. Keep your wife from reading advertisements of these high end products. Most of all keep your wives away from fancy ladies who spend their husbands money like meshuga. Is there a rebbe who has guts to stop this madness. Why should streimels cost 12 thousand dollars and wigs also moving up to that price range. If a rebbe can tell his chassidim how long ones peyos must be and that boys should wear knickers so why can’t they stop this insane spending on weddings and cloths. What was the urgency to make the streimels get higher in size. What was wrong with the old style streimels. People are dropping dead with heart attacks every day in the heimisha community as the new generation wants to outspend each other.

  33. The financial problems of the frum community can be attributed to: 1) living in the most expensive metropolitan areas of the country, and almost exclusively in large cities and their suburbs; 2) trying to maintain high standards of Torah education and also provide sufficient secular education so our children can function in the goyim’s economic environment (not that when the goyim switched to a “modern” curriculum, the dropped the religious, moral and cultural curricula they had been using; 3) being frum, especially being Shomer Shabbos and Shomer Kashrus – the former seriously restricts economic opportunities and the latter raises living costs – plus the high costs of certain mitzvos such as פרו ורבו .

  34. It’s painful to read many of these comments and see the lack of sympathy and lack of humanity hiding behind “economics”. Adam Smith is NOT Torah.

  35. In pre-war Poland, a similar canyon between the rich and needy led to the formation of Agudas Yisroel and Poalei Agudas Yisroel. History seems to repeat.

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