Rav Kanievsky: Your Zivug Hasn’t Been Born


Print Friendly, PDF & Email

A man seeking a shidduch visited HaGaon HaRav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita seeking advice and a bracha, one of the many persons who visit with the Gadol HaDor during the afternoon hours. The man, described to be in his 30s, visited the rav about two months ago, Kikar Shabbat reports. The teary-eyed man explained he cannot find a shidduch, asking Rav Kanievsky for a bracha. The Rav probed the man’s details somewhat and reportedly responded “Your zivug hasn’t been born, bracha V’Hatzlocha”, leaving the man in tears, apparently despondent over hearing the rav’s words.

The man recently returned to the rav, this time with a smile on his face, announcing “I am engaged”. Those present were somewhat surprised, wondering how he accomplished this in two months after hearing the rav’s words. The chosson explained that his bride-to-be is a giyoress who converted a month earlier, explaining the rav’s words “your zivug has not been born”.

(YWN – Israel Desk, Jerusalem)


  1. Yes rabosai- point being that if he says internet is the yetzer hara than it clearly is- u can’t have ur cake and eat it too- clearly he sees what we don’t!

  2. 10, a statement of chazal, and a halachic principle, “ger shenisgayer k’katan hanolad dami, ie, a convert is “born” that moment, and his/her past life is disregarded.

  3. 10. Because halochikly a ger is a new person. The lingo terminology is “Ger sh’nisgayer k’koton sh’nolad domi.” Loosely translated as, “A ger that converted is like a baby that was just born.”

  4. To #10 (micro)

    A giyores is a new convert to Judaism. While the giyores in the above story is a young adult, as a Jewess she is like a new born, her conversion being like her new birth.

  5. #4 you are posting your statement on the internet. Could you please explain how, if you understand the Ravs words as prohibitting all internet use, are you on the internet??

    There was a clear kol-koreh signed by all the Rabbonim of the Motzais Gedolai HaTorah forbidding unfiltered internet use for everyone along with other guidlines as to who can use filtered internet and under what circumstances.

    The enforcement of even this standard has varied greatly from kahilla to kahilla especially as it relates to mobile devices.

    It is one thing to speak about the dangers of the internet it is quite another for the Rabbonim of each shul to deliniate clearly to their ballabatim what the minimum standards are and to explain that compliance with those standards is obligitory on every member of their kahilla.

    It could well be that in many shuls the Rabbonim feel that a call to adhere to even the minimum standard will not be heeded. To insist publicly on something that will be ignored is clearly wrong for many reasons.

    The bottom line is that the issurim relating to internet use are numerous and severe. One has a personal obligation to be proactive in recieving first hand psak halacha from their QUALIFIED Rav. (Qulified means a Rav who is familiar with and does not disregard the Da’as Torah of the Gedolai Yisroel)

  6. To #10, micro: The Gemara says “ger shenisgayer cekoton shenolad dami,” which means that a convert, at the time of his/her conversion, is halachically considered as if (s)he was just born. Based on this, there are several shaylos, such as whether or not a ger who converted during sefira can count the rest of the days with a bracha, etc.

  7. # 10

    I think there is a Gemorah that says ger shenisgayer kikatan shenolad dami – someone who becomes a convert is like a child who is born anew.

  8. To # 10:

    A Ger Shenisgayer is according to Halacha like a Newborn Child.

    to # 4 there is something incredibly ironic to your posting this comment (about he evils of the internet) on an internet website.

  9. but when R Chaim shlita calls for people to heed the words of the eida in yerushalayim, the same people who are so inspired by this maaseh will hem and haw.

  10. “but when R Chaim shlita calls for people to heed the words of the eida in yerushalayim, the same people who are so inspired by this maaseh will hem and haw.”

    What are you referring to?
    I don’t think against Agudah. His father, the Steipler, while Anti-Zionist, was strongly pro-agudah. See Kreina D’agarteh.

  11. real-brisker, maybe the mods weren’t able to get to those posts and 25 people took the time to explain something to someone who didn’t know; mi kiAmcha Yisrael!

  12. for a minute there i was afraid nasi would be on his case for telling him his zivug is around 40 years younger than him! well now we know the answer to the shidduch crisis, more gairim!

  13. Everyone knows the Gemara, good. Further, just as a person gets their Mazal the moment they are born, so does a person get an entirely new Mazal when they convert. The Vilna Gaon said that in order to raise ones children properly (in their way), one needs to know their childs Mazal. I can only assume the Vilna Gaon would also say its good for everyone to know their own Mazal, and say their spouses. For more about your own Mazal, see a Mekubal, or almost any Sefardi Rav 🙂 Interesting this story coming now, in this weeks Parashah. Before the Akeidah, Yitschak Avinu’s zivug was not yet born. Yitschak Avinu was 37 by the Akeidah.

  14. Its also in the Mishnah, in Kiddushin if Im not totally out to seudah khamishi, that if a jew and a non-jew initiate kiddushin with plans to have nisuin once the at the moment non-jewish one converts, it is nul. Incidently once a person converts and gets their new mazal, they also may not find each other to be the same any more because of their new Mazal. They might no longer have the Mazaldike chemistry. But if they want to get married, its time for a valid kiddushin. Conversly they may have even better synastry.