By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com
This piece will probably anger a number of readers, but hopefully it may give some a bit of food for thought. It is nearing the end of the summer, and many families or groups are returning from various trips and stays away from home. On this account, there may be items that these people may think to return. A number of years ago, a distinguished Rav appeared on one of the Jewish radio shows and discussed the halachic implications of taking advantage of a store’s liberal policies. The Rabbi’s conclusions were that there was nothing wrong with taking advantage of these things. Humbly, perhaps there is room to disagree.
WIN/WIN VERSUS WIN/LOSE
Perhaps, cutting to the very heart of the issue, is the question: Why are we ultimately here? Are we here to sanctify the Name of Hashem and fulfill His desire of Klal Yisroel being an ohr ha’amim – a light unto the nations – a beacon of ethical behavior – emulating Hashem’s Benevolence and goodness? Or is life, ultimately, some philosophical/ cosmological game of Monopoly – where the goal is to have as much cash and properties as possible and bankrupt the other players – rendering the words “verachamav al kol maasav” meaningless?
Is the economy some sort of cat and mouse game where we try to find loopholes in a company’s policies or should consumers look toward a win/win system where everyone comes out ahead?
One of the hidden repercussions of COVID-19 is skyrocketing divorces, perhaps because of so much increased stress. Unfortunately, and this attitude is encouraged by many in the legal profession, the prevailing attitude is win/lose not win/win. The ultimate losers are the children – who will often go off the derech and perhaps drop out of life. In divorce situations, there is a newly emerging area called Cooperative Law – where lawyers oblige themselves to mediate and not litigate. Many states have adopted it because of the remarkable results. England has adopted it as well. It is an absolute game-changer and the ultimate winners are the children. New York State has a limited form of Cooperative Law – but we should certainly pursue it more.
THE ECONOMICS OF IT
Let’s take a store like Costco – for example. They are a big company that has giant megastores all over the country. Now let’s take a hard-working company like Sadie’s Skirts and Blouses. Sadie worked hard to create a quality line of clothing. She spent time to make sure to use only high quality materials – the kind with fibers that spring back into shape and maintain their form after having been stretched. Sadie made sure that everything was properly sewn with nice and strong stitches and not glued together. She packed every skirt with extra thread and buttons.
Costco buyers noticed Sadie’s growing popularity and made her an offer to carry her line of clothing in their stores. They created a clause in the contract, like all of their contracts, that Sadie must take back all returns – no questions asked. Sadie agreed.
And so what happens? Sadie’s Skirts and Blouses loses its shirt (pun intended, please be forgiving). Returns from all of the stores are tolerable, but those from two or three particular zip codes are so high that they simply can’t make a profit.
When people buy clothing, or air conditioning units, or other items at the beginning of a season with the intent of returning them at the end of the season this causes a win/lose/lose situation. Sadie’s Skirts and Blouses loses out because they invested in perfectly good material to make perfectly good clothing only for it to be stockpiled in perfectly good warehouses and ultimately recycled so that customer X can borrow it for free. Costco loses out because they paid perfectly good employees to stock it on their perfectly good hanging rods and had paid perfectly good cashiers to ring up items that were only for borrowing purposes and not purchasing purposes, and paid perfectly good customer service reps to handle the refunds. This, as any thinking person can see, is neither perfect, nor good. And when we do it, it causes Chillul Hashem.
VERY DIFFERENT FROM BUYING FROM A COMPANY WITH A GOOD WARRANTY POLICY
Let us not make the critical error of confusing the idea of a good warranty policy with having a “win/lose” perspective. Some people buy from, say, a company like Lands End because they want to ensure that the pants they buy for their ball-playing son not rip at the knees. If the knees rip then they will return it. But this is vastly different than buying clothing with a “win/lose” perspective. Some people confuse the two ideas.
THOSE WHO RELISH IT
Truth to tell, some people even appear to get satisfaction from “win/lose” situations. There was once a situation where two hospital administrators were comparing notes and bragging to each other about how they negotiated a remarkable win/lose with low-balling some of their staff. This author heard a similar situation where a school administrator did the same thing with teachers.
When a Rabbi rules on whether one can knowingly buy something with the full intention of just returning it and states, “there is nothing wrong with that..” – there is something wrong with that. Win/lose/lose is a violation of v’asisa hatov v’hayashar – doing the good and straight thing. It is a violation of Chillul Hashem. It is undermining the entire basis of who we are and who we are supposed to be.
THE DIFFERENT CATEGORIES OF CHILLUL HASHEM
Chillul Hashem can be categorized in different ways. There are a number of different categories of Chillul Hashem that are differentiated in some of the Rishonim. There are Aveiros that the Psukim in the Torah call a Chillul Hashem. There are behaviors that, no matter who the Jew actually is, also constitute a Chillul Hashem.
It should be noted that it is clear from the Gemorah in Bava Kammah 113b that the concept of “Chillul Hashem” is before everyone and not limited tp acheinu bnei yisroel. It is a misnomer to think otherwise. And thinking otherwise, seems to be a prevalent view.
There are three different categories of Chillul Hashem that are found in Rishonim.
One category is when one if forced to violate one of the three cardinal sins that we must give up our lives for. If someone did not do so, this is a Chillul Hashem according to Sefer HaMitzvos (#63). A second category is whenever one purposefully does an Aveirah out of spite – this too is considered a Chillul Hashem (Sefer HaMitzvos, ibid).
THE IMPORTANT PERSON CATEGORY
A third category is when an important person does something that causes people to talk – even if it would generally not be considered an Aveirah (Shabbos 51b). This is considered a Chillul Hashem because people will learn from him. The Gemorah explains that the greater the person is, the more careful he must be. According to the SMAG #2 and SMaK #85, however, category three is even if is not an important person but a regular Talmid Chochom whose actions cause people to talk – this too is Chillul Hashem. These authorities also say that when a Jew does any action that will cause Goyim to say, “The Jews have no Torah” i.e. morality – this is a Chillul Hashem.
There is actually a debate as to the reason for the third category of a great person. Is it because he has a higher standard in which to comply with? This is what Rabbeinu Yonah (Avos Mishna 4:4) and the Rambam (Maamar Kiddush Hashem) write. Others understand it because other people will learn from him. And yet even other Rishonim hold that it is because the Torah will be lessened in the eyes of others because of him (Rashi on tractate Shabbos 33a).
All these reason fit into the notion of having a Win/lose perspective.
Also, is the example we wish to set for our children – that we should win at all costs without thought for others around us?
DINA B’BAR METZRA
There is a concept in halacha of giving the neighbor – first dibs on the purchase of a connected and adjacent property. The concept is called Dina d’bar Metzra. The basis of it is the concept of doing the right thing (See Sma CM 175:6). Does this concept not also apply in other areas of life? What if every “customer” in the store were to do this?
Furthermore, we are obligated to go lifnim m’shuras hadin – to go beyond the measure of law (See Dvarim 6:13). This is an obligation. It is a pasuk in the Torah, and should not be dismissed cavalierly.
The same idea is true with the idea of purchasing items on a credit card to earn points and to return the items and being able to keep the points. The attitude of win/lose/lose or even of just win/lose causes people to make poor decisions and succumb to border-line gezel or even out and out gezel. We should be instilling in our homes, our day schools, our Yeshivos, our books and our radio shows – the importance of win/win and contributing to society.
CHANGE THE DYNAMIC
Shouldn’t we be modelling to our children the importance of a true work ethic along the lines of what chazal tell us in Pirkei Avos – Ehov es hamalacha? Perhaps refocusing upon the idea that
Shlomo haMelech taught us the value of soneh matanos yichyeh – one who hates gifts – lives. It is upon this idea that Rav Dessler in his Michtav m’Eliyahu explains that one who conducts himself with the idea of not being a taker – but being a giver – is the only one that truly lives – yichyeh. We should train ourselves in this fashion to become givers rather than takers. This is the legacy we should be giving our children.
THERE IS A YOUNG LADY IN A DIFFICULT FAMILY SITUATION THAT DESPERATELY NEEDS TO GET TO SEMINARY IN ERETZ YISROEL. IT IS NEAR PIKUACH NEFESH ACCORDING TO HER TEACHERS. IF ANYONE IS IN A POSITION TO ASSIST PLEASE CONTACT THE AUTHOR.
Please assist if you can, but not with funds obtained by returning items inappropriately.
The author can be reached at [email protected]
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10 Responses
I read until “when people buy items with the intent to return it…”and stopped reading. I dont believe people buy clothing or other items with the intent to return it. People may buy and try it on at home and if it doesnt fit well they can return it. But no one buys clothing for the fun of returning an item, or wears it for the season and returns it. That is absolutely ridiculous. As for air conditions and such I could see that a tiny minority of frum Jews could do something like that, but you make it sound as if many frum Jews do it.
Philosopher, I agree that this behavior is ridiculous. I’m assuming that this article was directed at the tiny minority of Jews who may be tempted to engage in such behavior. Also, honesty is so basic and fundamental that we can all benefit from some “sensitivity training” every so often. Even if this particular area is not one where most Jews struggle, it raises an awareness that can then be applied to other matters of honesty.
This does not just apply to clothing but also to other items like cameras and music instruments to be used for a one day event. (electronics can no longer be returned in some shops!)
Late Rabbi Falk O”H has addressed this issue years ago, as some people have been told by the local store that it was perfectly ok to make a purchase without the intend of keeping it. They may have said so for 2 reasons: 1. the customer may fall in love with the item and decide to keep it or perhaps purchase it at a later date. 2. It would increase turnover for the individual store.
While you should certainly not pretend to make an indefinite purchase while intending to return it, certainly not on clothing, some shops may explicitly allow you to do so on some items. But as returned items go straight back to the supplier; the shop may not be entitled to make such an offer.
Worse still (belive it or not…) are those people who purchase a chassunah gown from a heimishe shop and return it after having it worn for a few hours (sweating and perfumed…)! This is not chilul hashem – (not being a rov) it’s probably right-out GEZEL!
“I could see that a tiny minority of frum Jews could do something like that, but you make it sound as if many frum Jews do it.” In fact, it was such a tiny minority, that Walmart of thompson/monticello felt compelled to send a letter to the agudah and other communcal organizations. take your head of out the sand. in fact, there was a point in time that walmart was also called “the bike gemach”
Country Yossi wrote an article many years ago, that many frum yidden were using Walmart in Monticello as a Gemach for A/C’s. They would purchase it, then return it on the 29th day, and then buy another one for the remainder of the summer, with the intention of returning it. It was not just a minority. Because of these types of Stik, Walmart refused returns from 5 Zip codes, 4 of them in Jewish communities, especially 08701.
This is the difference between ‘frum’ (krum) – פרום and ehrlich – עהרליך.
The Litvish taught that one needs to be an ehrliche (honest, respectable) Yid, as opposed to “frum”, which carries a connotation of outwardly observant of rituals, but possibly bankrupt underneath. They taught that פרום איז א גלח. א איד דארף זיין עהרליך. Others should have/adopt this attitude as well.
This great article is especially appropriate for אלול, as Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are on the horizon. Those who have sinned in this area should commence steps to repentance ASAP.
Thank you – an easy reminder for men – Ashkenaz kedusha – Nekadesh Es Shimcha B’olam – is our action in line with that directive?
IMHO, you omitted a major issur, that of Geneivas Da’as
Rav Pam always stressed that it is assur to take up the time of a salesperson if you had zero intention of making the purchase.
This would certainly apply in your scenario(s).
Please consider this kal v’chomer.
Since it is not permitted to ask a sales clerk the price of a specific item if one has no intention to purchase that item from that store, it is certainly forbidden to buy an item with the absolute intention to return it a short time later.
Philosopher: Sadly, I know of people that do this regularly