[Halachically Speaking appears on YWN weekly, Tuesdays and Thursdays]�

Written by Rabbi�Moishe Dovid Lebovits of�KOF-K Kosher Supervision

The�Torah[1]�states �one may not follow in the ways of the�goyim.� The�Rambam[2]�writes one should be different than the goyim in his actions, knowledge and in his understanding. There is a major dispute among theRishonim�and�Achronim�as to the parameters of this�issur.[3]�A practice which the�goyim�do for their�avodah zara,�is forbidden for a�Yid�to do, even if the�Torah�says it is a Jewish custom.[4]�The�Maharik[5]�writes that there are�goyish�practices, whose reasons and origins cannot be found, and are still forbidden to�Yiddin�since it would appear that we are copying them. Furthermore, all immodest practices that the�goyim�are associated with, is forbidden to a�Yid. Most�poskim�agree with the guidelines of the�Maharik.[6]�However, the�G�ra[7]�says the only thing that is permitted is a practice which was possibly originated in Jewish circles, if it was not initiated by thegoyim. The�Chinuch[8]�says the reason for this�mitzvah�is in order that the�Yiddin�should distance ourselves from the�goyim.

Goyish�Names

The�Medrash[9]�states the�Yiddin�were redeemed from�Mitzrayim�through the merit of four things: one of them is that they did not change their names. The�Maharam Shik[10]�is of the opinion that one who has a�goyish�name has transgressed the�issur�of �following the customs of the�goyim.� To stress this point, it is brought down that the last name�Shik�stands for�Shem�Yisroel�Kodesh,�to show one should only have a Jewish name.[11]�What is the explanation as to why one would have a non-Jewish name?�Horav Moshe Feinstein zt�l[12]�says that many non-Jewish names today have gained acceptance because they originated from countries in which the Jews lived in.[13]�The names taken eventually were accepted as Jewish names. The aforementioned�Medrash�should be a good reason as to why one should choose a Jewish name. Nonetheless, some say the�Medrash�is only referring to the Jews who left�Mitzrayim, since the�Yiddin�had not yet become a nation, and needed to keep their Jewish names and language as a distinction between them and the�Mitzrayim.[14]�It is permitted for one to call his child a name that is a Jewish name but translated into a different language. For example, one can call his child Moshe-Moses.[15]�Although having a�goyish�name might not be an�issur,�according to everyone, the�poskim�stress the importance of only having a�Yiddish�name.[16]

�

The �Red String�-Ruita Bendel

Many people have the �custom� of wearing a red string on their wrist to avoid any�ayin�hara.[17]�The�Tosefta�in�Shabbos[18]�says tying a red string on one�s�finger�is�Darchei Hu�emorey, and some�seforim�say �tying a red string� is�darchei hu�emorey.[19]�There is an opinion in the�poskim�that anything which is stated in the�Gemorah�is not a problem of�darchei hu�emorey.[20]�The�seforim�bring down that the color red does help protect againstayin hara.[21]�The�Be�er Moshe[22]�says the custom is that one may place a red string to ward off any�ayin hara.[23]�The�Zohar�says that looking at�techeiles�avoids�ayin hara.[24]�Some explain the reason for wearing a red string is because red dye was used in the�bais hamikdash,�and it came from a worm.�Horav Shamshon Refoel Hirsch zt�l�points out that the worm is the lowest of the creatures and it was used for a holy purpose.�Ayin hara�is if a person is blessed with good, and he becomes haughty, it might cause him to be judged by�Hashem. The red string is reminiscent of the lowly worm, and each time one looks at it, he is reminded to be humble, and this will hopefully save him from any�ayin hara.[25]�It is stated in�seforim�that if a pregnant woman wears the �strings� from�Kever Rochel�she will carry her baby to full term.[26]�It is not clear where the custom to wrap the string seven times around the�kever�originated from.[27]�Instead of relying on these red strings to ward off�ayin hara,�one should work on himself to be more humble, and in this way will be protected from any�ayin hara.[28]�One who is wearing the red string because he thinks it helps to prevent any�ayin hara, nevertheless he should not wear it outside on�Shabbos�because of carrying.[29]

�

Flowers/Greenery In�Shuls�For�Shavuos

The custom is to place greenery in�shuls�on�Shavuos,[30]�and many have the custom to place them in their homes as well.[31]�Some say this is done for�simchas haregel.[32]�Others say the reason is as a remembrance of�Har Sinai,�which was surrounded with beautiful greenery at the time the�Torah�was given to�Klal Yisroel.[33]�The�seforim�mention many other reasons for placing greenery on�Shavuos.[34]�Another custom is to place trees in�shulsfor�Shavuos,[35]�and the�Magen Avraham[36]�states the reason is because on�Shavuos�one is judged for the fruits of a tree. According to this reason one should only take branches of a fruit tree and place it in the�shuls,[37]however, the custom is not like this.[38]�It would seem that one should not place artificial flowers etc.[39]�Many have the custom to place greenery etc. on the floor, but the custom is not so.[40]�The�Gra[41]�was against theminhag�of placing flowers-greenery in�shuls�for�Shavuos, as this was the custom of the�goyim�who decorated their homes and churches with greenery during their holidays, and the�Gra�believed this�minhag�should be abolished. Many�poskim�go in accordance with the ruling of the�Vilna Goan.[42]�Some say the�Gra�wanted to abolish both the placing of flowers and trees in�shuls.[43]�However,�Horav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach zt�l[44]�says the�Graonly wanted to abolish the custom of placing trees in�shuls�and not flowers. The custom in most places is to place flowers and branches of trees in the�shuls�for�Shavuos.[45]�Some place nice smelling greenery on the�Sefer Torah�in honor or�Matan Torah.[46]�Some have the custom to place pictures of flowers in their windows.[47]

�

Chupah�In A�Shul/Indoors

The custom is to have a�chupah�either outdoors or indoors under an open sky.[48]�The reason for this is a�siman tov�for one to have �as many children just as the number of the stars in the sky.�[49]�The custom to have the roof open in an indoor building, is considered under the sky.[50]�The�Sefardim�do not perform their�chupahs�under an open sky.[51]�There is a major discussion in the�poskim�whether one is allowed to have a�chupah�in a�shul,�or in any closed area, since it may seem that one is following in the ways of the�goyim,�who perform their weddings indoors in their churches.[52]�Horav Moshe�Feinstein zt�l[53]�is of the opinion that there is no problem with performing a�chupah�in a�shul. It is obvious that one is not doing this to follow in the ways of the�goyim.[54]

�

The Wedding Ring

Some have the custom that after the�chassan�gives the�kallah�the wedding ring, in return the�kallah�gives the�chassan�one.�Horav Moshe Feinstein zt�l[55]�maintains that this is a�goyisha�custom and it is forbidden. However, if after the�chupah�the�kallah�gives her husband a ring to wear as an adornment, to show they are married it is permitted, as long as the ring is not a symbol of�kiddushin�on her part. Nonetheless, many�poskim�say although it might be permitted, a�yira�shomayim�should not wear a ring.[56]

�

�

The Proper Place For The�Bimah

The proper place for the�bimah�is in middle of the�shul.[57]�One of the reasons for this is that the�goyim�have their lecterns in the front part of their churches, and if the�bimah�would be in the front, it would seem that we are copying them.[58]�Many�poskim�say it does not have to be exactly in the middle, but it should be far away from the�aaron kodesh�so that one may pass by the�Aaron Kodesh�and the�Bima.[59]

�

The�Bas-Mitzvah�Celebration

Many�poskim�maintain that one should not celebrate their becoming�Bas-Mitzvah�with a party since it is following the ways of the goyim, and there is no basis for this�seuda.[60]�Nevertheless, many�poskim�say those that have the custom to have a�Bas-Mitzvah�celebration, have on whom to rely upon.[61]�One may not have their�bas-mitzvah�celebration in a�shul.[62]�The�Bas-Mitzvah�celebration is not a�seudas mitzvah�according to many�poskim.[63]

�

Thanksgiving Celebrations

Horav Moshe Feinstein zt�l�was hesitant to permit one to have a Thanksgiving celebration. However, if the reason why one is eating turkey is not because of Thanksgiving (but because it is readily available) then one may eat the turkey. Nonetheless, one who wants to act in a more stringent manner, should eat the turkey on a different night. One should preferably not schedule a�chasana�or a�Bar Mitzvah�on the night of Thanksgiving, since it be�marisayin. However, making a�seuda�for a�Pidyon Haben�or a�Bris Milah�is permitted, since it is obvious that the�seuda�you are making is for�seudas�mitzvah. If one schedules a�chasana�etc. on Thanksgiving because many people are off from work that day, he may do so.[64]�Horav Yisroel Belsky Shlita�adds the following; �If such parties were made as a sign of patriotism to the U.S., it would be acceptable for�Yidin�to make them as well as a sign of loyalty to their host country. This does not seem to be the case however, and there is no reason that a�yid�should make them.�

Placing Flowers/Pictures On A Gravestone

Some have the custom to place flowers etc. on the�aaron�of the deceased and/or on the gravestone. Many�poskim�are against this practice as this stems from the custom of the�goyim.[65]�Some say those who do so, have on what to rely on;[66]�however, this is not the custom.[67]�One is not allowed to place a picture of the deceased on the gravestone.[68]

�

Attending Sport Stadiums

Horav Moshe Feinstein zt�l[69]�maintains that one who attends a sports stadium falls into the category of�moshev leitzim. Although the�issur�of �following in the ways of the�goyim� is not being transgressed, one is subjecting himself to a place where there is a lack of�tznius.[70]�If one does attend these sports events, he should be careful to act in accordance with�halacha.