Breaking Down Stigmas, Building Understanding 

By Rabbi Chaim Fachler

When I was asked to contribute to this discussion on kol Yisroel areivim zeh lazeh, I found myself thinking about the stigmas our communities still struggle to overcome. There are certain issues which chareidi society, both in Eretz Yisroel and in the Diaspora, has long found difficult to confront openly. But if this project asks anything of us, it is that we learn not only to care for one another across borders, but also to learn from one another. Sometimes that means learning from a strength another community has developed. Sometimes it means rethinking assumptions we have carried for too long. 

I would therefore like to focus on three areas in which our communities have changed, yet in which they still have much to learn from one another.

Issue #1: Holocaust Education

Much has been written by eminent Rabbanim about the challenge of introducing Holocaust education and awareness without creating serious questions of faith in our youth. It was only about twenty years ago, when my wife and I joined friends on our first trip to Poland. We had an excellent and experienced guide who led us on visits to concentration camps and destroyed communities, and it was categorically life-changing. I realized then how strong that stigma still was in parts of the chareidi world, both in Israel and abroad.

At the time, many chareidim either did not go to Poland at all, or focused solely on visiting kivrei tzaddikim. I am pleased to report that today, in 5786, that stigma has diminished considerably. More and more chareidi groups, from Israel and from the Diaspora, are visiting concentration camps and memorial sites such as Babi Yar, and are far more willing to engage with the difficult theological and emotional conversations these places raise. This is an encouraging example of how a community can mature, slowly and painfully, but meaningfully. It is also a reminder that when one part of Klal Yisroel finds a healthier way to address a difficult subject, other communities can learn from it. 

Issue #2: The Stigma of Distance and Misunderstanding

There is another stigma that deserves honest attention, and it lies not in how the outside world sees us, but in how we sometimes see one another. I refer to the very real misunderstandings that can exist between the chareidi community in the Diaspora and its counterpart in Eretz Yisroel.

Most of chareidi Diaspora Jewry feels a deep love for Eretz Yisroel. They support its institutions generously, and daven for its people with sincerity and emotion. But love from a distance does not always produce understanding. Too often, the chareidi community in Eretz Yisroel is viewed through headlines, assumptions, political frustrations, or second-hand impressions rather than through genuine familiarity with the realities of life there.

Life in Eretz Yisroel places enormous spiritual, emotional, and financial pressures on families. Its challenges are unique but so are its opportunities. So too is the feeling of living within the unfolding story of the Jewish people. And yet from abroad, it can be all too easy to reduce an entire tzibbur to slogans, stereotypes, or selective criticisms.

But this responsibility runs in both directions. Those in Eretz Yisroel must also resist the temptation to dismiss communities abroad as comfortable, detached, or lacking in seriousness. Such judgments are neither fair nor helpful. 

If we are serious about kol Yisroel areivim zeh lazeh, then we must strive for more than admiration from afar or criticism from afar. We need more familiarity, more listening, and fewer assumptions. The better we know one another, the more naturally responsibility follows.

Issue #3: Mental Health

I have chosen to end with this issue because here there has been real progress. It would not be an exaggeration to say that twenty years ago, the stigma surrounding mental health in the chareidi world was stronger than almost any other. Families suffered quietly. Conditions were hidden. Treatment was delayed. Pain was often borne in silence for fear of shame, misunderstanding, or social consequences.

But today, in 5786, while the stigma has certainly not been eradicated and there is still an enormous amount of work to do, no honest observer can deny that a dramatic change has taken place. And in this area, Eretz Yisroel deserves much of the credit.

Major organizations throughout the United States now look to Mayanei Hayeshua’s Mental Health Centre in Bnei Brak, created by the visionary Dr. Moshe Rothschild, z”l, for practical guidance in how to provide professional psychiatric and emotional care to the chareidi community using culturally sensitive methodologies.

When I was appointed head of resource development at Mayanei Hayeshua thirteen years ago, they showed me a seven-story shell of a building and explained that this was going to become the Mental Health Center. I laughed out loud. A mental health center in the heart of chareidi Bnei Brak? It seemed impossible. And he proved us all wrong. In fact, it is precisely because it is in Bnei Brak that it has proven such a resounding success.

Families abroad with children, siblings, or parents in desperate need of psychiatric care have even made Aliyah in order to access treatment at Mayanei. South African-born Professor Rael Strous, the medical director of the Center, not only treats hundreds of patients each month, but travels internationally, sharing his experience, teaching culturally sensitive methodologies, and helping communities around the world build more appropriate responses to emotional and psychiatric needs.

Unlike other painful issues that still struggle to find their place in public conversation, mental health is now discussed openly in chareidi magazines and forums. There are articles, stories, professional advice columns, and growing awareness that seeking help is not a source of shame, but often an act of courage and responsibility.

For me, this is one of the clearest examples of kol Yisroel areivim zeh lazeh in practice. This is not merely a slogan. Knowledge, experience, and compassion developed in one community are being shared with another for the benefit of all. The stronger community is not the one that hides its wounds most successfully, but the one that has the courage to confront them, heal them, and help others do the same.

Rabbi Chaim Fachler was born and raised in Letchworth, England, and studied at Yeshivas Tifrach in the Negev. He served as Head of PR at Laniado Hospital until 2003, and for the past 13 years has been a director at Mayanei Hayeshua Medical Centre in Bnei Brak. Rabbi Fachler has served as a community rabbi in Netanya and currently serves in Beer Sheva. He is married to Judith, née Lapian, and enjoys spending time with their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.