There’s no shortage of articles, speeches, and podcasts analyzing the rising cost of frum living. No one denies it anymore—living a Torah lifestyle is expensive. Many factors have been blamed, from the shidduch system to basic market forces, and each plays a role. But one simple truth remains: if we, as a community, work to reduce our own spending, prices will eventually come down.

With that in mind, I’d like to suggest a practical first step. Each shul can establish basic guidelines for simchos held on its premises—whether it’s a Kiddush, bar mitzvah, aufruf, or similar event. The policy can be simple: the shul offers two or three preset Kiddush options. The Rav should discuss the pricing with members to ensure the tiers reflect what the community can realistically afford.

I know what some will immediately ask: “But what stops people from making their Kiddush somewhere else?” It’s true—no one can be forced to follow a policy outside the shul’s walls. But if even 90% of families choose to participate, the impact is real. And the reality is that many people – even those who can afford more elaborate events – would welcome the relief of a set standard. They can simply say, “I would have done more, but this is what the Rav allows.”

This idea doesn’t require a national movement or a new organization. We don’t need a conference panel, fundraising campaign, or committee. It calls for something much simpler: rabbanim and shul members deciding together that enough is enough.

If we take communal responsibility for our spending habits, we can start turning the tide. Change doesn’t have to begin with conferences and campaigns—it can begin in our own shul kiddush room.

Sincerely,
C.J.

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