Ex-CTLawyer

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  • in reply to: Trump and the embassy #1289568
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I owned a garment factory in that city in addition to a departments store. About 25% of my employees in the factory and 15% of my customers were immigrants from that country. Most were not yet US citizens. I was approached by some prominent members of the community and told that they had lobbied their embassy in Washington for a Consul in the city. They put forward my name, an attorney born in the a good working relationship with the immigrant community who could read, write and speak the language.
    This was just good citizenship by providing service to that community and at the same time helping with applications for relatives to come to the US and many became employed in my factory. This was a time when most Americans were no longer interested in the needle trades.
    It is now 30 years since I stopped doing business in that city and gave up the Consul’s position. I made many business and political connections that have been useful over the years. Most satisfying was helping more than 400 immigrants become citizens and 250 potential immigrants to come legally to the US with Visas I helped facilitate.

    in reply to: Trump and the embassy #1289442
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    No special license plates.
    BTW…The US State Department does not issue Diplomatic license plates in the assorted states. You register your car and get a plate issued by the Motor Vehicle Dept in your own state. No special designation. No ability to be a scofflaw and not pay parking tickets.
    No tax breaks, etc.
    Being the Consular representative cost me out of pocket money. I operated out of my office and a secretary on my staff handled calls and took messages. I had open office hours one afternoon each week from 2-4 when I assisted with travel visas, those nationals who had stayed long and needed to renew passports, etc. All I did was collect the documents and send them on to the embassy in Washington for processing via a weekly courier.
    There was a large immigrant community from this country and I was the ‘polished’ local face of authority. Appearing at cultural events, speaking at Chamber of Commerce and Business Industry association meetings trying to facilitate trade. I was not responsible for stimulating the leisure tourist trade, that was handled by regional sales reps from the national airline.

    in reply to: Trump and the embassy #1289440
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    DovidBT……….
    No fancy uniform.
    I rec’d bilingual business cards
    I was invited to meet their President when he came to NYC for the opening session of the UN one year.
    When Mrs. CTL and I flew to Europe on their National Airline we were given First Class tickets and all we paid were the US airport taxes/fees. We traveled on our US passports, but were met at the gate by a member of the foreign ministry and bypassed customs and immigration control lines.

    in reply to: Trump and the embassy #1289368
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    There are some small countries who do not maintain embassies in all countries with which they have diplomatic relations. It is just too expensive Sometimes they appoint an ambassador to serve several countries and he is based ion a physical embassy in one of them. He occasionally travels to the others as needed, but a consulate handles every day needs. When my cousin was the Consul for the Central American country they did not maintain an embassy in Israel. When they finally established one it is in an office in Herzylia Pituach and is not staffed by a resident ambassador.

    in reply to: Trump and the embassy #1289319
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Sorry Joseph…
    I don’t agree with you about Consuls (and I was not talking about ‘Honorary’ ones). For many years my Israeli cousin was the Consul for a Central American country. While he was still active in business a room in his Tel Aviv offices functioned as the Consulate. After his retirement, there was a plaque on his Herzylia Pituach home stating Consulado de XXXXXX. He issued travel Visas for Israelis traveling to that country and promoted tourism and business.

    In the 1980s I was the Consul General for a small European country in one Connecticut city where I had both a factory with many of their citizens as employees and several retail establishments.
    There are career diplomats below the rank of Ambassador with the title of Consul representing some countries, but small countries find it far more cost effective to appoint citizens of the country they wish to be represented in to handle these part time duties.
    My cousin in Israel loved the position which he held for more than 30 years because he and his wife got diplomatic passports, ‘CC’ plates for their cars and the ability to purchase most things without import duty or VAT.

    in reply to: Trump and the embassy #1289296
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Actually,
    A country can’t move its embassy without the permission of the host country. The embassy and its grounds function as quasi-sovereign territory of the host country. Over the years we have seen examples of asylum seekers spending years living in an embassy compound unmolested by the host country. Each existing embassy in Washington DC and to the UN in NYC were approved by the US government before the property was purchased and the foreign flag hoisted. The embassy property often has foreign military with arms, something a host country would not allow to be placed willy nilly around the country. This is why countries establish consulates outside capital cities. The Consul is generally a citizen of the host country with limited Diplomatic Authority granted by the foreign country to serve visiting nationals and stimulate business and cultural/travel exchanges.

    in reply to: Abortion politics #1288984
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Not Jewish at birth. Raised as Jewish from near birth, never questioned not continuing as an observant Jew after Bat Mitzvah age

    in reply to: Abortion politics #1288913
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Joseph………..
    I can’t speak for Yehudayona,
    BUT
    Mrs. CTL and I have 7 children. We are the birth parents to 5 and adoptive parents to 2.
    They were NOT adopted at the same time. They are about 9 years apart in age. One was a domestic adoption. We were approached by the doctor. We never met the birth mother, but had her name and date/place of our daughter’s birth.
    Our daughter knew she was our child by choice from the time she was old enough to comprehend what adoption mean.
    When she became engaged, she sought ut her birth mother for the sole reason of getting medical history that might affect future offspring. The talked on the phone and by email a few times. Neither had a desire for a continuing relationship.

    Our younger adopted daughter was adopted by us in China. She knew she was adopted as soon as she could did differences in skin color and racial/facial features. There are no records of who her birth parents are. During the time she was born China had a one child law. Women giving birth to a second child would leave it outside the orphanage during the dark of night so as to not be discovered by the authorities and be fined and/or imprisoned.
    In our town of 35,000 we know more than30 girls adopted in Chin during that time period. None will ever find their birth parents…unless there is universal DNA registry for 8 billion people on this earth.

    in reply to: Abortion politics #1288905
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Gamanit…………
    Most adoptions are open adoptions?
    WHERE?
    As a Family Law Attorney for approx. 40 years in Connecticut and an adoptive parent, I can tell you that most adoptions in the USA are NOT open adoptions. Most adoptive parents do not want birth parents interfering in the new family. There are registries where adoptees and birth parents can register an interest in communication, but it is voluntary.

    I can tell you that the last thing the Department of Families and Children (CT–similar to CPS elsewhere) wants is for a parent who has had there parental rights terminated by the court to be involved in that child’s life. The majority of adoptions in the USA are of children placed by these state agencies.

    As for foreign adoptions by Americans, the birth mothers are generally unknown and there is no further contact once the child leaves the birth country.

    in reply to: Acceptable jewelry for frum men βŒšπŸ’πŸ“Ώ #1287280
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Is a Rolex really overpriced?

    I wear a Rolex ss/18K YG Rolex Oyster as my everyday watch. I paid $1600 for it in 1983. I’ve had 34 trouble free years for about $47 per year. I don’t think that’s overpriced. Chances are I’ll continue to wear it for at least another 20 years (hopefully 40). After that it will go to my eldest son.

    in reply to: Abortion politics #1286682
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    RebYidd23……………..
    There is a shortage of white healthy infants available for adoption in the USA.
    There are plenty of non-white children available.
    Many are:
    Older (typically removed from their parents by the courts because of abuse, neglect, parents sent to prison)
    Medically unwell (example>crack babies)
    Special needs (Mental retardation, autism, wheelchair bound, etc.)

    Huge problem for adoptive parents in the USA….in each state there is a time period during which a mother who gives up her child can claim it back, In CT it is 6 months. I have seen this happen a number of times and advise my clients to do a foreign adoption which is truly final when the baby leaves the other country for America.
    Also no birth parent showing up years later trying to interfere in the child’s life or shakedown the adoptive parents to stay away.

    in reply to: Abortion politics #1286670
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Yehudayona>
    “Unfortunately, there’s still a stigma attached to birth mothers who give up their children. People notice when a woman is very pregnant one week, not pregnant the next, and there’s no baby around.”

    This is why in the time before Roe v. Wade legalized abortion on demand in t he US there were homes for unwed mothers where single pregnant females spent most of their pregnancy, gave birth and the adoptive parents picked up the baby.
    Neighbors and friends would be told that the young woman was traveling or visiting relatives for an extended period.

    in reply to: I Hope Trump Gets Impeached πŸŽΊπŸ‘ #1286170
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Yehudayona………….
    Trump attended Wharton for 2 undergraduate years transferring in from Fordham.
    I also attended Wharton as an Undergrad a couple of years later (and don’t want to denigrate my education)>>>Don’t confuse an Undergraduate education in the Wharton School of Finance and Business (where all business and economics majors were placed at Univ of PA) and the highly prestigious MBA program at Wharton. The requirements and acceptance rates and course of study were quite different.

    Those of us who went to UP undergrad and were in Wharton love the attention it gets, because most people think you have an MBA from a top program

    How he got through? Most people paying the bill (about $7,000/year all in back then) passed and graduated. The Ivy league is know for Gentlemen’s ‘C’s.

    in reply to: Ger Naming Baby after NonJewish Grandparent #1285630
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    lesschrumras……………….
    My mother was born and raised in the Bronx…guess things were different there.

    in reply to: Ger Naming Baby after NonJewish Grandparent #1285534
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Lightbrite……………
    RE: Girls named Mary
    In 1952 my parents moved from NYC to New Haven, CT
    My mother was shocked by all the Jewish females named Mary. In NY she never ran into this.
    I’m in my mid 60s and there at least half a dozen orthodox girls my age in the neighborhood named Mary. By the next generation the name had virtually disappeared among the Orthodox community.

    Best I can understand is that Eastern European Jewish immigrants in the early 20th century were taking/giving “American’ names that were easy to use in commerce and dealing with government (library cards, driver’s licenses, etc.) By the 1970s ethnic names and ‘odd’ spellings were in vogue.
    Goodbye Mary, hello Miryam, Mira, Myra, etc.

    in reply to: Abortion politics #1284486
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Avram,
    ” if Democrats really see themselves as pro-woman, they should spend at least as much breath advocating for universal access to and improvements of prenatal care in the U.S. …”
    They do. It’s called the Affordable Care Act, which Trump and Congressional Republicans are trying to Repeal.
    ALSO social benefit and educational programs such as WIC and SNAP (formerly known as Food Stamps).
    Even if one does not approve of pregnancy termination performed under the auspices of Planned Parenthood, they also provide prenatal care and pregnancy education.

    in reply to: I Hope Trump Gets Impeached πŸŽΊπŸ‘ #1283093
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Chochom….Please learn to spell Supreme Court Justice Gorsuch’s name.
    The move to block/delay the appointment wasn’t about Trump. It was members of the Senate exacting retribution for the Republican Senators refusing to even hold a hearing on the appointment of Judge Merrick Garland to the SCOTUS. The hearing could have been held and the Rs could have voted no.

    in reply to: I Hope Trump Gets Impeached πŸŽΊπŸ‘ #1283087
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    We have different opinions of his actions that can be considered impeachable offenses.

    I believe he is in violation of Article I Section 9 of the US Constitution, specifically the “emoluments” clause. He is being enriched by foreign government spending at his properties.

    in reply to: Why the husband is in the driver’s seat πŸ€΅πŸš— #1282119
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Why derail the topic? Start a NEW topic if you want to discuss whether women should drive.

    in reply to: City Slicker or Country Boy? πŸŒ†πŸ€  #1281394
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    In the early 20th century there were a number of Orthodox Jewish farming communities in Connecticut (Colchester area), NY (Catskills) and New Jersey.
    My BIL of 45 years comes form one of those Colchester, CT Orthodox chicken farming families. went away for high school and yeshiva and just retired from his career as a pulpit rabbi. His eldest sister’s grandchildren are still running the egg farm

    in reply to: I Hope Trump Gets Impeached πŸŽΊπŸ‘ #1281388
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Health…………..
    There is no hypocrisy in my opinion of Trump. I have detested him for decades.
    My opinion has nothing to do with political agenda.
    He is a thrice married serial adulterer.
    He has been through business bankruptcies multiple times.
    He and his companies don’t pay workers/suppliers/contractors on time or in full.
    He is enriching his family by virtue of his office and behavior.

    BTW>>>I also attended the Wharton School of Finance at the same time Donny did. I am not impressed

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    BenK…Let me put responses to your questions/statements/plight together in a cohesive answer<

    There is no such thing as a FREE lunch. Schools not charging students for lunch receive some USDA surplus food at no charge to use in making the meals, BUT the school (if private) or school system and taxpayers pay the rest of cost of cooking and serving those lunches. Ingredients, labor, equipment, utilities.

    Yeshivos and Day Schools cannot allow students to bring lunch from home (imagine the politics and insults in allowing food from one house and not another). It may be cheaper to use an outside vendor (caterer) than to make lunch in the school (economy of scale). Would it make you feel better if the annual school fee was $500 higher instead of seeing a bill for lunches $500?
    Don’t equate ‘caterer’ school lunches with the $150 per plate meal at a chasunah.

    Field trips and high costs. NO, the schools don’t ask parents. Get involved in the parents association and offer to help plan these things. It may be that the current group of parents helping to plan are those who can easily afford ‘high’ priced trips and a different point of view is needed. The school authorities will not buck their biggest donors, the other parents must join in the planning and be represented.
    Our grandson’s school sponsored a trip to Great Adventure last Friday. They were charging $100. Because CT state law does not allow school trips in ‘yellow’ school buses to out of state locations, they had the high cost of chartered coaches. My daughter and son-in-law, said no, they got other parents together to also say no. The trip was cancelled for lack of response. Instead, there is an instate trip to a go-kart track and sports venue this Sunday. Cost $20. Mrs. CTL and I are providing coolers full of cold drinks and bagged snacks for less than the cost for 2 students to have gone to Great Adventure.

    in reply to: Saving for a rainy day #1281231
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    as much as possible
    Hopefully, never

    in reply to: dating YOUNGER #1281226
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Unfortunately, marrying a close relative greatly raises the chance of offspring with mental and/or physical defects.

    in reply to: I Hope Trump Gets Impeached πŸŽΊπŸ‘ #1281191
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    The one who arranges ‘dispensation’ to travel by automobile or jet plane on Shabbos

    in reply to: Why the husband is in the driver’s seat πŸ€΅πŸš— #1281190
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Joseph………………..
    There are many reasons why this may occur in some families. it leaves the mother free to attend to the needs of small children in the car.
    I think that you will find this more common in ONE car families.
    Those living OOT or the suburbs where the norm is that there is a car for each driver, may fit the CTL family pattern. If we are in Reb CTL’s vehicle, I drive. If we are in Mrs. CTL’s vehicle she drives. This past Thursday, last single Miss CTL asked me to to the shopping mall with her. It was a 90 degree, sunny day. We went in her convertible with the top down, she drove, I was the passenger.
    BTW>>>she told me that as she is getting married this summer she wants to enjoy the feeling of the sun and wind in her hair while she can. She’ll be trading in the convertible for a married lady’s car suitable for hauling groceries, etc. before the chasunah this summer.

    in reply to: dating YOUNGER #1281059
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    MOST of the divorce cases I’ve handled in the past 40 or so years have been couples who married as teenagers and then grew up and apart.
    Both Jews and Gentiles, Religious and non

    in reply to: I Hope Trump Gets Impeached πŸŽΊπŸ‘ #1281058
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    You can not work with a megalomaniac. He only gives orders.
    The sooner he is forced from office, the better off this country will be.
    His entire administration including the freeloading family members and in-laws have to go….possibly to prison

    in reply to: Trump Eating in Israel #1281060
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    55 years ago the cook at our day school was one of those moms. She worked the same hours her children were in school at the same location in exchange for tuition.

    in reply to: I Hope Trump Gets Impeached πŸŽΊπŸ‘ #1281021
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Politics is not bad, but some politicians are

    in reply to: Trump Eating in Israel #1281001
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    The change actually started in the mid 1960s when busing to achieve racial balance started. Prior to that kids walked home for lunch from neighborhood elementary schools. Only the junior and senior high schools had cafeterias that served hot lunches. The neighborhood schools did not have commercial kitchens, so prepacked lunches in disposable individual containers came on a truck each day from the central commissary. in rolling warming units, that could be plugged in to stay hot and all they needed in the grade schools was a refrigerator for the milk and folding tables with benched to set up in the gym.
    By 1980 all new schools were constructed with kitchens for heating and serving. They had warming ovens and refrigerators. NO stove-tops, no pots and pans, no serving utensils, NO dishwashers and NO cooks
    This system is far less expensive than cooking on site in terms of equipment cost and personnel. A 4 hour a day lunchroom lady costs about $10 per hour and gets no benefits working 19 hours per week. A cook would be paid about $22 plus benefits..add in the cost of equipment and utilities and the price of lunch would be prohibitive.
    Our town uses this system. They sell the complete Type A hot lunch (Main, starch, fruit, veg and milk or juice) for $3 (breaking even). If they went back to the old ways, cost analysis (assuming a 25 year life to equipment) shows they would have to charge $4.75 to break even.

    Our local day school changed from cooking on site to having a local kosher caterer (who also supplies meals on wheels and runs the kitchens at the Home for the Elderly) run the program back about 1995. It also was a huge cost savings. A professional operation turning out 3000 meals a day was far more efficient than a single cook in the day school kitchen. We also got nutritionally balanced meals for the kids. No more twice a week fried matzo with powered bug juice from after Pesach through June.

    in reply to: I Hope Trump Gets Impeached πŸŽΊπŸ‘ #1280961
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Chochom……………..
    Trump is NOT my President, he is the country’s President.
    I don’t have to root for him to fail, he is a failure.
    I’m desirous that he depart, I’m tired of that laughing stock embarrassing us.

    in reply to: I Hope Trump Gets Impeached πŸŽΊπŸ‘ #1280958
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    RebYidd23………………..
    This country didn’t exist 600 years ago.
    It is only about 400 years since European colonization started. The ‘country’ is only 240 years old.

    I don’t believe the country was better off when it was a group of colonies ruled by European monarchs with established state religions, slavery, etc.

    in reply to: How come more people don’t join areivim? #1280956
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    “Are life insurance companies non-profits, with their clients the primary intended beneficiaries of their company?”

    They are if they are “MUTUAL” insurance companies which are owned by the policy holders.
    In Connecticut we also have Mutual Savings Banks, owned by the depositors.

    in reply to: dating YOUNGER #1280889
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    This isn’t 80 years ago and no one is asking for advice for their grandparents or great grandparents,

    Everyone was NOT married at 18 back then.
    My parents were married 79 years ago, he was 22, she was 21 .
    My paternal grandparents were married in 1919, he was 24, she was 20>>>they waited until he returned from the US army, drafted to serve in WWI
    My maternal grandparents were married in 1920, he was 24, she was 20>>>they waited until he finished medical school.

    All of these marriages took place in NYC, all of these people were born in NY.
    The last marriage in our family that had a chasan or kallah 18 years or less occurred in 1856 in Suwalki…they left for America in 1872.

    in reply to: Trump Eating in Israel #1280799
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    In our public school district they use 90% chocolate 10% White milk.
    Our biggest problem is that food is packaged at the central commissary, sent to the schools in individual serving plastic trays with polyfilm and heated at the schools. Thus a 3 year old in Pre-K and a high school senior all get the same size lunch portion. The little kids can’t finish and the teens are hungry.
    Back when food was actually cooked in each school and ladeled out as the kids went through the line, the cafeteria ladies could adjust the size of the portion by age and appetite. A first grader might get 2 fishsticks and a 8th grader 5. No more.

    in reply to: Trump Eating in Israel #1280785
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Syag…………….
    Under the pre-trump federal school lunch guidelines the white milk is NOT fat free, it is Low Fat (1%). The flavored milk (Chocolate and Strawberry) are fat free. The Trump administration will allow the flavored milks to also be Low Fat.
    However, this won’t be changed in school districts until they bid new milk contracts for future school years. Our local public school system is only in year one of a three year contract, so no change until September 2019.

    It’s interesting that you can take and redistribute food from a school lunch program. This is illegal in many localities. The full lunch MUST be served to every student and once served, even if the container is not open it can not be recycled. I have watched the cafeteria ladies take as many as 100 milk cartons at a time from the tables they clear and open them and pour the milk down the drain.
    The workers are told that if they are caught removing any leftover items from the premises they are subject to immediate dismissal.

    One of the requirements for non-profits to receive free USDA surplus food is that the food may only be used for the specific program. Our local health codes don’t allow the food to go elsewhere for later feedings because there is no way to certify handling (temperature, etc.) and the school that prepared it would have a liability if someone got ill.

    I could go on and on, because I just chaired a committee of our Town Council dealing with food costs and handling in the public schools.

    in reply to: I Hope Trump Gets Impeached πŸŽΊπŸ‘ #1280446
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Impeachment is not enough. The Senate must also convict him.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Wrong you are……………
    NOT a cosmetic change, but an AMENDMENT extending equal rights to women. No need to write an additional amendment when amended existing language confers equal rights on women,

    An amendment is a change to the document. Some states require a new section,others such as Ny allow changes to language.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    The fire was a tragedy in 1911. 146 people died, mostly of Jewish and Italian heritage. 146 people is not the vast majority of immigrants.
    The level of observance varied in the immigrant community, just as it varies in America today.
    Most pre 1924 Jewish immigrants to America were ‘Euro-Traditional observant, not what we call Frum today. Today’s Frum American Jew has a much better Torah education than those raised at the turn of the 20th Century in the US. Most US Torah institutions were in their infancy at that time. Many had only a rudimentary Jewish education in the old country (or in America) they observed rituals in conformity with the community standards. Because they were no longer forced to live in a designated ghetto, shetl, Pale of Settlement, they often made choices to change their level of adherence to halacha.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Socio-economic background does not mean just money. It includes things such as education, how long in a country, shared beliefs and interests.

    in reply to: Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels πŸ₯œ #1275750
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I’d rather have a Pletzel than a pretzel

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Correct? NO
    I’m saying that people with the same or similar backgrounds are likely to have similar outlook on how life should be lived and less conflicts.

    Class and income are not the same thing. I’ve met many a wealthy person who is low class and many a poor person who is refined and well bred.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    No one is talking about 60-80 years ago, we are speaking about current times and the baal batim who build and support our Torah institutions in the late 20th and 21st century CE.

    Your comments about the majority of Frum Jews in Europe is laughable because the VAST MAJORITY were barred from higher education by anti-Jew laws.

    My paternal side came to the USA in 1872 from the Litivish Heim, my maternal side in 1868 from Bavaria. They were restricted by law to certain trades and barred from the Universities in most cases. By 1880 my great grandfathers were in University in the US. ALL my grandparents attended university in the nineteen teens. The men went on to get medical and legal degrees. The women got degrees in education and licenses.
    I grew up on a block of 6 single family houses built in 1951. All were occupied by Frum families. All 6 husbands owned their own businesses, 5 had college degrees. The sixth was trained in electronics by the US Army during WWII and he owned and operated a chain of TV/Appliance stores (his children all went on to college and professional school after yeshiva. 5 of the women has college degrees, in fact my mother had a doctorate in child psychology and was a school principal. The 6th woman was a registered nurse. In those days it was a 3 year post high school program, but offered no Bachelor’s degree.
    There were 35 children in those 6 families. We went to day schools, yeshiva high schools of Chabad girls high schools (there was one in town). Every single one of us went on to college and more than 20 to graduate school. Not one married before college graduation. Some like my eldest sister graduated college in May and married the week after Shavous.
    Now we are all grandparents, we didn’t let our children marry until they had a proper education and could make their own way in the world. Even my Brother-in-Law, who grew up 2 doors from us and went to Torah Vadaath, also completed a college degree before my father would allow him to marry mys sister. He went on to spend 40 years as a pulpit rabbi, finishing 2 advanced degrees while working.

    Back in Europe, you might have been able to find the odd Frum medical doctor, but the open opportunity for higher education was closed to Frum Jews.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    It is a suggestion that people of similar backgrounds have a better chance at a successful and happy long term marriage.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Joseph……………….
    you have no scientific type data to back up your claim and such a study was ner performed by a group such as the Pew Report.

    OOT is a different world. If I look at the communities I’ve lived in, the Stharkers (baal batim) who built and funded the synagogues, day schools, yeshivos going back to my parents’ generation (born 1920 in the US) were men who married after completing their college educations and starting in the work force. Some, like my father, married during WWII and after being disccharged form the armed forces started career and family in 1946.
    The vast majority of the pre 1924 Jewish immigrants to the US wanted to live the American dream in harmony with Jewish Observance. That meant college education (my parents like many at CCNY and Hunter) then marriage, jobs, children.
    The Kollel phenomenon and early marriage while being supported by parents and in-laws only became common with the arrival of post WWII immigrants and those escaping the Hungarian Revolution.

    We both can ONLY present anecdotal evidence on this issue, but I dispute your claim of ‘vast majority.’

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    A photo reveals much more than beauty. It may reveal things such as eyesight (coke bottle eyeglasses), clues to economic status (cheap suit?), hygiene (teeth and hair), religious sect (type of hat), etc.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Just saw this old thread brought to life and had to make some comments.
    My paternal great grandparents moved to Boro Park in 1903.
    Both my grandfather and father celebrated their Bar Mitzvah at the Temple Beth El in 1913 and 1935 respectively.
    In postwar II America the use of the word ‘Temple’ and a synagogue name usually indicated this was a Reform synagogue, but that was not a universal truth. Here in New England ‘Temple’ XXXX was the name of many Orthodox shuls founded after the Russian pogroms of 1881 and the change of immigration laws in about 1924.
    My eldest BIL just retired as the pulpit rabbi of one of these so named shuls near Boston after some 30 years.

    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I am not the ‘typical’ member of the CR in that all of my children, myself and MRS CTL AND our sons-in-law and daughters-in law have college and professional degrees. This means each individual has earning capabilities that can let each couple stand on its own.
    You are pursuing a college path as well as learning. You are very young and need not rush to marry until you are in the workforce. I know that many will consider this as heresy, BUT the frum community needs baal batim who can support our institutions financially as well as those who mostly learn and are not in the workforce full time.

    From experience, I don’t believe that family money should be the support of young marrieds, giving a hand now and then is one thing, true full financial support is another.

    The most important thing about family money and financial background is that you and your eventual bride should not come from a very different socio-economic background. There are enough other problems in a marriage without this type of huge roadblock to happiness.

    All of our females in the CTL family including my mother, mother-in-law and grandmothers (all American born) had professional careers (law, accounting, teaching, real estate) besides raising families and running a household in partnership with a husband.

    I still cook, wash dishes and do my own laundry and help with grocery shopping. When I married Mrs. CTL all those years ago, I was marrying a partner, not a housemaid/cook

    in reply to: Chopped Liver #1273753
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Commercially sold chopped liver is NOT chopped, it is put through a meat grinder and has the consistency of a paste. Please don’t call it pate. A good pate will have small chunks of meat in it that you can chew.
    We don’t put our chopped liver through the meat grinder, we use a hochmesser (mezzaluna) in a wooden bowl and make a coarse chop. I want to know I’m eating meat, not paste.

    The commercial frozen brands mentioned in this thread call themselves ‘spreads’…yukkkk

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