Health

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  • in reply to: Chodosh and yoshon #881078
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    Cont. – The name of the topic is “Bishul Yisroel, Pas Yisroel, Cholov Yisroel”. The topic is closed. So any comments have to be put over here. Please don’t repeat the same old arguments again, unless there is a new angle to them.

    in reply to: Chodosh and yoshon #881077
    Health
    Participant

    Sam2 -“yytz: I certainly hope we are not lenient for the Rama. Because his S’fek S’feka (Dachuk enough to begin with) is not at all applicable nowadays because it’s definitely Efshar Livrurei B’kal. The FDA puts out all the relevant information every year. We are probably Meikil like the Bach (though Rav Schachter quotes an interesting Avnei Neizer).”

    hello99 -“Sam: the “minhag” is to be meikil for the second half of the Rema, ???? ????? ??????”

    Both wrong! The Rema is applicable in the US. We had this Machlokus in the past. And I’m not going to start it again. It got very heated. Check out the topic about it here in the CR.

    in reply to: chevra kadishah #881257
    Health
    Participant

    havarka -“do you know if there is possibility of getting job in it in NY? Have a experience.”

    The Chevra Kadisha guys are usually volunteer, but you could work for a Jewish Chapel. Like most jobs -you need connections, not necessarily experience.

    in reply to: SMOKING – why should it be MUTTAR? #884485
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    Participant

    GAW -“Since the Roshei Yeshiva are not removing such bochrim, it is obvious that they hold it is mutter. They would certainly remove someone who was convincing others to view unfiltered internet access, or even if they were doing so in public.”

    Actually you can win a prize for defending smokers, no matter what – whether it’s dangerous and Ossur from the Torah -you’ll still defend them.

    Why if it’s Ossur they aren’t being thrown out -is a question you have to ask them. I’m not a RY and if I would be one – I’d be from those who throw out Bochrim for smoking from their Yeshivos.

    Your deduction is no deduction because s/o refusing to take action doesn’t mean that what he refuses to take action on is Mutter, acc. to them. The only way I might agree to your reasoning, is if they throw out all Poiskim from Yeshivos and e/o starts bringing their chickens & their Niddah Shailos to RY’s.

    Until then, they aren’t Paskening any Shailos, including whether Smoking is Muttar or not!

    in reply to: SMOKING – why should it be MUTTAR? #884484
    Health
    Participant

    Mr. Little I Know – “Reb Moshe ZT”L NEVER said muttar. I have heard that stated many times, yet no one has ever succeeded in finding where he saud muttar. The tshuvah that this “heter” is attributed was a question of whether one can supply a match (or lighter) to a smoker, considering this being a possible aveiro of ???? ??? ?? ??? ?????. Reb Moshe clearly states that smoking should NOT be done, but that there is inadequate information to make this ???? ???.

    Reb Moshe paskened not light someone else’s cigarette. The “heter” that is derived from this ia mirage. All he stated was that it does not constitute ???? ???. Check the tshuvah.”

    I have seen the Teshuva and he says Muttar. Even his son thinks that’s Pshat in his Teshuva. Do you read Hebrew?

    From page 1:

    ???? ???? ?????? ??? (???”? ?”? ??’ ??) ???? ????? ?? ????”

    ????? ?’ ???”?, ????? ?? ???? ???? ?”? ???? ??? ???? ??? ??? ??????? ?? ???? ??? (???? ???”?) ??? ???? ????? ????? ???????? ?? ??????? ??? “??? ????? ???” ??????? ??????, ?????? ??? ?? ?????

    His son here says that his father held Muttar.

    in reply to: SMOKING – why should it be MUTTAR? #884467
    Health
    Participant

    shtickel_seichel -“Makes no difference which rav you quote. Your body doesn’t hold by this rebbe or that rebbe. Your body operates according to its biology. Smoking is dangerous to your health and to the health of everyone around you. Smoking is addictive. Smoking kills. Regardless of what (you think) your rebbe tells you.”

    You just fell into their trap. You see there is No Poisek nowadays that holds it’s Mutter (not that I know of). They all want to say they have some Heter. The ones from the previous generation didn’t yet have all the info that they have now.

    Even R. Moshe Z’tl, who said Mutter would Not hold that nowadays acc. to his son. But they continue to allow smoking in many Yeshivos – like it’s no problem. How long do you think a guy would last in these Yeshivos with Internet service or a non-kosher cell?

    in reply to: When a child eats traif. #881188
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    Participant

    far east -“Have you no sensitivity towards others? What happened to loving your fellow Jew, frum or not frum, yarmulka or no yarmulka… Let alone your own biological brother! Do you think your first class and Jews who aren’t yet shower Mitzvos are second? Wouldnt you want a relationship with your brother regardless of his personel lifestyle?”

    Don’t YOU believe in loving your fellow Jew? Why didn’t you Dan me L’caf Zecus? I never said not to have a relationship with them. All I said was that if the parents are Not capable of stopping their kid from eating Treif, whatever the reason is – It could be they aren’t good parents or it could be the kid is all over the place or it could be a myriad of reasons. In this case, then the parents have to say -“We’ll only come if everything meets our kosher standards.”

    in reply to: When a child eats traif. #881187
    Health
    Participant

    takahmamash -“Why? It’s up to the parents to supervise the kid and watch what the kid eats. It’s certainly not the fault of a 7 year old! The situation in the OP could have been prevented it the parents had been paying attention. We’ve gone to many events that included food with family members who are not frum, and we’ve never had this problem.”

    I was responding to this case -Obviously Not in General. This case -the parents could Not supervise their kid(s). I didn’t like the fact that some posters presumably felt that the kid should be punished for her behavior.

    “You make it sound like they MUST make a choice between one or the other. They don’t.”

    Like I just said -in this case this is their only choice.

    If supervision was possible -this topic would never have started!

    in reply to: Frum women doctors #880919
    Health
    Participant

    OOmis -“When women do, they are cold and unfeeling.”

    Practice what you preach. If you believe that these women are just

    “efficient” and “knowledgeable”, then why did you write -“I have had cold women docs”?!?!?!?

    in reply to: Frum women doctors #880917
    Health
    Participant

    oomis -“I agree about the Hatzolah remark, BTW. Women in labor should have the option of a female medic with them, if that’s what they want.”

    They can have this option if “Ezras Noshim” (R. Freier’s org.) gets off the ground. Hatzolah will not take females, no matter how many people think they should. You can mutter that they are wrong all you want, but that won’t change their position.

    in reply to: Hashkafa for entering secular workforce #880978
    Health
    Participant

    PBA -Don’t you know WORK is a four -letter word?

    in reply to: Hashkafa for entering secular workforce #880976
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    Participant

    Csar -“Sitting and learning all day is the ideal. “Talmud Torah Kneged Kulam.” Chazal say, one word of Torah is higher than an entire lifetime of doing these Mitzvos.”

    Site the source. I never heard this.

    in reply to: When a child eats traif. #881156
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    Participant

    far east -“pba and csar- sometimes its not so simple to just “not go” to some places…especially when its a close relative like your brother. And if your not in MS_DC’s situation you cant judge him like that.

    That being said, she must have not known better or she wouldnt have eaten the hamburger. I wouldnt beat myself up if it was my kid. However next time the situation arises, be ultra careful and help your daughter understand why its important that she eats different food then her cousins.”

    I totally agree with PBA. If non-kosher food is being served and it’s not a formal setting where e/o gets their own portion, then all the food has to be kosher. The child did nothing wrong. A 7- y.o. can’t be held responsible for eating Treif when it’s right in front of them. So either you want to be Frum or you want to be part of your Freye family. If they want a relationship they have to accommodate you in non-formal settings. Blaming the kid for your failure isn’t going to hold water in Shomayim.

    in reply to: Frum women doctors #880910
    Health
    Participant

    wanderingchana -“I had an amazing female OB/GYN with my first birth. I had a patronizing, condescending male OB/GYN with my second. I agree with interjection – I don’t know why men go into this field.”

    interjection -“It’s nice to hear that a man approves of male Ob/gynos. I will not state my opinion on what I think of men who choose to go into the field. Suffice it to say that as a woman, I respectfully disagree.”

    Yes, there are exceptions to every rule. I never said it’s impossible to find a good, competent female Ob/gyn.

    I was giving my perspective from both angles as a father and as a professional.

    What I don’t understand is your perception of men who go into the field? The guy must me a pervert acc. to your way of thinking. We must not live in a free society where anyone in the world can get anything they want with the type of a few keystrokes.

    I can understand you being uncomfortable with a man provider, but that doesn’t mean the guy is a perv. It’s your projection.

    There are many reasons males want to become Ob/gyn’s. Two off the top of my head are money -they make a nice living. Also, at least by OB, it’s basically the only area in medicine where providers are involved with bringing life into this world instead of preventing death.

    in reply to: Frum women doctors #880909
    Health
    Participant

    mommamia22 -“Health

    Are you trying to be callous?”

    Not at all.

    “3 years of pre-med science isn’t fluff. It’s hard courses that require a lot of work. You know that being in the medical field. Maybe it isn’t medical school, but “it ain’t no walk in the park”.”

    True science courses aren’t easy. But my point was that Pre-med is Not medical school and you really aren’t learning any medicine.

    in reply to: Frum women doctors #880908
    Health
    Participant

    kfb -“Health you’re do smart when you quote what people say and dissect it. Where’d you learn that from? I was hat browsing the coffee room and when I saw your attack on morahrach I became disgusted. This is what goes on between frum yidden?? Why do you even post here, it’s a frum blog? Seriously please think about what youre going to say before you type it on the keyboard. It’s very immature, grow up!”

    Oh, I do think. Perhaps some posters should not think everything that is posted is a insult to them. To me that is immature.

    in reply to: SMOKING – why should it be MUTTAR? #884455
    Health
    Participant

    GAW -“When you quoted me, you forgot the last line.”

    No, I didn’t. I only quote what I’m responding to. Your post is up there for anybody to read.

    Btw, what does “Poe’s” mean or stand for? Peace on earth?

    “If the Gedolim want people to stop smoking for your S’vara that the P’nei Yehoshua was incorrect, then they should have said so. Obviously they do not want to do so, so bochrim can still use him as a heter.”

    You may have not understood my post -so I’ll explain it. Who said the Pnei Yeshoshua held smoking isn’t dangerous? Read Zvei Dinim’s post. He gives a reason that maybe the PY was only talking about the Oichel Nefesh part, not that he was saying it isn’t dangerous in the long run. I also added that maybe in the PY’s time when they smoked it was pure and nowadays it isn’t.

    So you have two reasons to say that the PY would never hold nowadays that smoking is healthy.

    All the Rabbonim who said it’s Ossur to smoke don’t even have to discuss the PY because there is no premise that he holds Muttar nowadays.

    “as I have never smoked.”

    Just curious, if you aren’t a smoker -why are you always defending smokers? Are you just the type of person that is an Ipcha Mistavra -a Moshe Kapoieah?

    in reply to: Frum women doctors #880893
    Health
    Participant

    MorahRach -“Also calling me a wannabe makes you sound like a .. Well jerk. I don’t attempt to compare myself to someone in the

    Medical field. Why did you have to try and make me feel foolish? No need to try and put me down.”

    Maybe you posted this because it’s late at night.

    What I’m going to say next probably belongs in the topic under Gender Intellect.

    Let’s see my post started out talking to you -I’ll quote:

    “You make it sound like you went 3 years Med school and gave it up. Pre-med is just science oriented courses -almost nothing to do with medicine.”

    Upto here had to do with you -then I continued on a tangent.

    “I know s/o who finished med school and decided not to go to a residency. In other words he gave up medicine.

    I don’t shed any tears on wannabes. I do shed tears on all those who are out there and are totally incompetent.”

    The wannabe part was refering to what I just posted. I was or was Not including you in that part. In other words, I was making a general comment related to what I just wrote.

    Maybe you need to sleep on this. G-Nite.

    in reply to: Why Are Men More Intelligent Than Women? #1138475
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    Participant

    tahini -“As for Jews and intelligence, one of my favourite Americans, Mark Twain was a big admirer and recognised the Jewish intellect and power of resilience.”

    He must have been talking about Jewish males. I never heard of a guy NAMED Mark Twain.

    in reply to: Frum women doctors #880891
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    Participant

    147 -“& specialty fields of women’s diseases & issues, should most preferentially be dealt with, by a woman Dr.”

    Now why did you say this? Do you mean Frum men should Not be OB’s?

    Or do you mean all Ob/gyn’s should be female? If the latter I can tell you with my kids -the coldest Docs were the women. One had kids -the other didn’t. The one with the kids was the worse – no bedside manner. The males were much more pleasant to deal with.

    From my professional experience I’d say was the same as my parenting experience. The top Ob/gyn’s that I’ve come across were all male.

    in reply to: Frum women doctors #880890
    Health
    Participant

    MorahRach -“Go for it!! I was pre med in college and eventually gave it up..after 3 long years and switched majors.”

    You make it sound like you went 3 years Med school and gave it up. Pre-med is just science oriented courses -almost nothing to do with medicine. I know s/o who finished med school and decided not to go to a residency. In other words he gave up medicine.

    I don’t shed any tears on wannabes. I do shed tears on all those who are out there and are totally incompetent.

    in reply to: Frum women doctors #880889
    Health
    Participant

    147 – That was quick -here today -gone tomorrow. Or should I say here for a minute -gone the next. It came back. Must have gone for editing.

    in reply to: SMOKING – why should it be MUTTAR? #884448
    Health
    Participant

    GAW -“If the Chazon Ish knew how to do brain surgery from learning Toirah, Kal V’Choimer the P’nei Yehoshua knew what smoking would do to the lungs from his vast knowledge of Toirah! And still, the P’nei Yehoshua said smoking is healthy. Either “Nishtanu HaTeva” (which I have never seen in an anti-smoking P’sak) , or the studies were not done on Yidden, who react physically differently than Eino Yehudim (as per Chazal).”

    Your post is way off!

    First of all, you didn’t address “zvei dinim”‘s points:

    “1. The Pnei Yehosuah (Shabbos ??:) says

    ???? ?????? ?????”? ??? ??? ?????? ????

    The P’nei Yehoshua only says ????.”

    Do you know the difference between Nirah and it definitely is?

    “2) The Pnei Yehoshua is talking about the sugyah of ???? ??? on ??? ???, where the criteria relevant has to do with the REASON the person is doing it and not the actual RESULT.

    This is why the Pnei Yehoshua says ???? ?????? ?????”? ??? ??? ?????? ???? which has nothing to do with the actual effect.”

    So this point is that maybe he is talking in the here and now and therefore it’s Oichel Nefesh and can be done on Yom Tov, but he knew that in the long term it was dangerous to do.

    Second of all, your deduction that it must be either people changed or Jews aren’t affected by smoking is No proof. Because even without the things Zvei Dinim mentioned, even if you want to believe the Pnei Yehoshua said it’s healthy – you simply can say tobacco in itself is healthy, but nowadays the way they make cigarettes and similar stuff is with many additives. It very well could be this is what makes smoking dangerous!

    in reply to: SMOKING – why should it be MUTTAR? #884446
    Health
    Participant

    yekke2 – They say because of the Asifa against the internet many people not just got filters, but lots stopped their internet subscription.

    Can you imagine if they made an Asifa against smoking? -probably lots would just quit cold turkey.

    And it would be praised amongst the Goyim in their press, because this is something that they even agree with.

    in reply to: Shidduchim: Girls & Size Zeros #880388
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    Participant

    Chaya R.- “put down the tehilim and get on a treadmill.”

    You can come mow my lawn for the same price.

    in reply to: You Dont Know Suffering #916036
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    MP -“Health, this has absolutely nothing to do with emunas chachamim. This doesn’t even have anything to do with logic. This is about human emotions and sensitivities. A true Gadol would have the sensitivity to understand that each person is on their own level in terms of emotional responses to different types of pain, and not throw them all into one category. That is what a Gadol is. A leader. Someone who understands the needs of different people and can carefully determine the appropriate action for every individual based on their own situation. Someone who knows the entire Shas by heart but can’t differentiate between two people’s tolerances for suffering and delicately deal with them, is NOT a gadol.”

    Somehow, somewhere you twisted my words. I’ll go back. Yes, you are correct a Godol does understand individual reponses to different situations. But just because he does -why does that preclude him from making the statement of -“s/o who lost a child is worse than a Holocaust survivor”? Why do you make it one way or the other? In this case, both are true.

    “Aside from all this, there’s a major problem with the idea you proposed that a “Gadol’s logic doesn’t have to agree with human logic”. A problem arises, because there are endless opinions as to who is a “Gadol” and who isn’t. Some people feel their Rabbaim are Gedolim. Everyone thinks someone else is a Gadol. And once that is the case, based on the concept you brought up, someone can say the most ridiculous statement that contains no logic whatsoever, and think it is the truth, simply because his Rabbi said it. And of course, all that does is make everyone else (who doesn’t hold by that Rabbi) think of this guy as a complete nut. Unfortunately, we see this happen in the CR occasionally, and it can sometimes have very negative effects. And in real life, the effects can be even worse.”

    E/o has the right to feel their Rebbe is a Godol. If a person who knows that person also, doesn’t feel that way -it is also within his right. But if a person doesn’t know whether that person is or not, they just can’t assume he’s not. They do have the right not to listen to something he says though – if he asks his own Rabbi and he says differently.

    Again, as above, you decided one is exclusive of the other and this is Not the way to look at it.

    in reply to: Settling for Less #880323
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    Participant

    shtarkzich – You could be right. OTOH, you could be wrong. Maybe he figures if he says “major issues” people will start giving him the third degree. “What problems”?, etc. Maybe it’s Tzinus issues and so on and so forth -that he doesn’t want to get into.

    My suggestion to see another therapist basically covers all bases.

    Do you have a problem with this?

    I said your post made sense, but for actual practical advice he needs to see a professional.

    in reply to: You Dont Know Suffering #916032
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    MiddlePath -“Health, it’s only the truth for HIMSELF. He cannot say such a statement for others, no matter how big of a Rabbi he is, because other people may have different tolerances and sensitivities for specific types of suffering.”

    Again you are comparing the avg. guy to this Rabbi. I don’t know what type of upbringing you had -have you ever met a real Godol?

    From your posts it sounds as not. Yes, “Rabbis” come a dime a dozen, but not real Gedolim. That’s why Chazal say Chochom Odif Menovi (A wise person is greater than a prophet). Rav Tauber is a very Choshuv person. If he says something which he has insight into -it’s because it’s true. Torah logic does Not always have to equal into human logic. Many times it does, but it doesn’t have to. There is something called Emunas Chachomim – this is a Godol’s logic that doesn’t necessarily agree with human logic.

    Your post is not illogical, just it’s Not correct.

    in reply to: President Peres expresses absolute Kfira while representing Jews #880447
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    Participant

    Kozov -“These apologetic interpretations stand in direct contradiction with the concept of Shabbos being on the literally seventh day?? ??? ???? ??? ?’ ?? ????? ??? ???? ????? ?????? ??? ?????.”

    Wrong. I happen to take things literally, but that doesn’t mean those that say it’s refering to one of Hashem’s days (1,000 years) are wrong.

    in reply to: Settling for Less #880318
    Health
    Participant

    shtarkzich -“You do not mention what these unpleasant surprises are so we are left to assume they are of the sort that practically everyone encounters including your spouse.”

    You have a pretty decent post except for the above. Do Not assume that there aren’t major problems. Some people are afraid to post everything on a public website due to the fact that they are scared s/o might figure out their identity, even though they post anon.

    This is why I strongly suggest going to another therapist because he/she might be able to get to the bottom of this. If there is a major issue going on he/she might suggest divorce. IMO, if he/she says this – listen – because in the long run it will be better for both of you. Trust me, there will be many people telling you not to, not limited to – Rabbonim, Rosh Yeshivos, your family members, her family members, your friends, her friends and many more.

    in reply to: Settling for Less #880317
    Health
    Participant

    BTguy -Don’t push it.

    in reply to: You Dont Know Suffering #916025
    Health
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    MP -“This Rabbi has no business comparing the Holocaust and losing a child. He can compare what HE went through in the Holocaust to, G-d forbid, what HE went through when losing a child. But it is completely out of place to make such a statement as if it applies to everyone, because it just doesn’t. That would be insensitive.”

    That’s your mistake and you missed this in my previous post. I would never because I don’t have that insight. And I assume you wouldn’t from your posts. But a real Rabbi could have that insight, esp. in this case because he knows what occurred at that time – so if he says what he did, not only is it Not insensitive -it’s the Truth.

    “there is a concept of finding the good in everything, but the bottom line is, it was insensitive.”

    I agree with you here. She was being very insensitive. She has no clue what the Holocaust was about and obviously she has no clue what Goq is/was going through.

    in reply to: Infertility treatments – Tzedaka?? #883868
    Health
    Participant

    DY -“and click on the words this article, footnote 6..

    Sorry, I guess I should have put arrows to make it more clear.”

    I did it and it worked. I guess I’m very ignorant in HTML. I never thought you could click on words that aren’t highlighted. I guess we learn new things every day.

    “Good for him, because the Gr”a does not argue on the priority of Torah, only beis haknesses. I did see it myself, I’m not relying on that article, but he has some nice mareh m’komos, so I linked it.

    According to you, Health, the author didn’t merely commit an error of omission, he switched the whole order around! You are entitled to argue if you want (in the realm of discussion; for halacha l’maaseh ask your rov), but I don’t understand how you can say he did a good job if you think he reversed the order of priority.”

    Well I thought he (the author) was going acc. to the Mechaber.

    I don’t see how you can learn differently in the Gr’a than I posted. The Yerushalmi doesn’t say outright a Halacha that those 3 things come before Tzedaka. It’s a Diyuk from the Yerushalmi & the Gr’a says it’s No Diyuk. So how could anyone derive it’s only about a Shul acc. to the Gr’a? It’s possible the mistake is that you & him are focusing on the Gr’a’s word of “Kol Shkain with our Geersa” and ignoring “Aino Muchrach”.

    in reply to: Infertility treatments – Tzedaka?? #883864
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    pcoz -“I think according to the hagahos on my Orchos Chaim le’Harosh beyond a very basic chiyuv each year which does not amount to much where you give your tzedakah is up to you.”

    Why do you say it doesn’t amount to much? It depends on your income. If you make 100 grand – 10 grand is Maaser.

    Just a general question – Do people (or do you) pay their tuition with their Maaser money?

    in reply to: Infertility treatments – Tzedaka?? #883863
    Health
    Participant

    DaasYochid -“You have not provided a source.

    I guess you missed it. It was embedded in my post, in the words this article, footnote 6. I’ll post it again. Moderator, can you kindly allow it again? Thanks.”

    The mod let the link the second time through. It’s not in your first post -that’s why “I” Missed it.

    The guy does a pretty good job, but I understand your mistake now. He didn’t mention the Gr’a argues on the whole Seif. I actually looked up all the Shittos inside -I didn’t use any quick synopsis by s/o else. Now you know why to look up things yourself.

    in reply to: how many times do you dip in at a ???? #880612
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    Participant

    The Chassidishe Gatesheader -“I never go to a mikveh since I have extremely sensitive ears (had tens of ear infections when I was young) and was instructed by my ENT docs then, never to allow my ears to go underwater at all.”

    I’d ask a Shaila if I were you. It might be a Chiyuv Erev Yom Kippur and possibly erev yom tov. They have ear plugs that can keep water out or putting in mineral oil. This might not be considered a Chatziza. You can also use alcohol, mineral oil, or vinegar afterwards to remove water that got in.

    Btw, how do you shower? Doesn’t water get in?

    in reply to: how many times do you dip in at a ???? #880611
    Health
    Participant

    Shtick -“Have you seen them? They sink down under the water and then suddenly a hand breaks the surface briefly before disappearing again.”

    You must mean finger, not hand. They move the finger about ten or 20 times and then they come up for air. This way they can do 72 or 100 times real quick.

    in reply to: Settling for Less #880303
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    Participant

    BTGuy – +1

    in reply to: Congratulations To The Class of 2012!! #1051438
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    Participant

    No One Mourns The Wicked -“I just got so upset on another thread where someone posted that some therapists keep a client in therapy a lot longer than needed so that “they can bill the extra hours”…

    I mean….come. on.”

    I agree that it’s not too common, but to say that there aren’t any unscruplous therapists out there is just putting your head in the sand.

    in reply to: Infertility treatments – Tzedaka?? #883860
    Health
    Participant

    DaasYochid -“The Gr’a Offen Ort … is disputing the Mechaber about the priority of beis haknesses.”

    Wrong. He disputes the whole Seif, including supporting kids’ learning. Look again. He says that the Deyuk that these things come before Tzedaka is “Aino Muchrach”.

    “Poor Torah learners, children or adults, take precedence over anyone but relatives (poor relatives who are Torah learners would be the absolute priority*, aside from pikuach nefesh).”

    As long as they are from Aneiay Ircha.

    “Whether poor relatives take precedence over Torah learners seems to be a machlokes (check out the sources in the article which I linked to earlier) although the C.C. seems to give priority to krovim.”

    You have not provided a source. Look up. The Mods don’t put up links. If you want to cite a source that argues -copy & paste.

    “My point about chomesh was to demonstrate the primacy of supporting Torah learners. Although there is a chiyuv to give “tzeddakah” (to poor people), the bulk of one’s donations should be to support Torah.”

    Well that would depend on many factors. – How many poor relatives you have. Whether your town has poor Talmedi Chachomim or just poor Am Haaratzim. The Piskay Teshuva 251:3 says -poor people from your town even if they are Ami Haaratzim, come before poor people from a different town, even if those are Talmedi Chachamim!

    in reply to: You Dont Know Suffering #916009
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    MiddlePath -“Health, while I understand what you are saying, I think it is wrong, in general, to say a certain type of suffering is worse or better than another type, because there are so many factors that go into every individual scenario, and person, that it is impossible, and wrong, to really compare.”

    I wouldn’t do it myself because how would I know? But if a Rabbi who went through the Holocaust states that losing a child is worse than the Holocaust -this I believe and will repeat over.

    in reply to: SMOKING – why should it be MUTTAR? #884435
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    zvei dinim – Well said!

    in reply to: Settling for Less #880297
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    Kodesh – “Others – I’ve been seeing a counselor for a while – havn’t really made any headway.”

    If you have been going for awhile and no progression -it might be time for a new therapist. Although it’s possible that the therapist is incompetent -it’s more likely that the therapist is Not suited to you. Some are more suited to certain types of personalities than others.

    in reply to: Infertility treatments – Tzedaka?? #883858
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    DaasYochid -“The only one that the Mechaber mentions is children learning. If you have a source stating that adult learning is more important than Tzedaka – please cite the source.

    Ahavas Chessed, chapter 19.”

    Yes. I remember this C.C. I think you are somewhat confused.

    The Mechaber in Hilchos Tzedaka was talking about preferences that come before Tzedaka and aren’t in the Geder of Tzedaka. Like eg. kids learning. These kids could be rich, but acc. to the Mechaber giving money to support their learning would come before Tzedaka. The Gr’a Offen Ort and others seem to disagree.

    The way I understand the C.C. is that the preference of Torah learners that is given over others is only in a case of poor people. It’s not in general to give Torah learners over the Mitzva of Tzedaka.

    I hope this clears things up for you.

    Btw, I don’t get your point about Chomesh.

    in reply to: You Dont Know Suffering #916000
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    MiddlePath -“About the reference to the concentration camps, many times I think I would’ve much rather gone through that than what I’ve gone through in my life. At least in the holocaust they all suffered together, whereas I basically suffered alone. But of course it is wrong to think like that, for many reasons.”

    It could be wrong and it could not be wrong. The Rabbi who started Shalheves (I forgot his name) – he lived through the Holocaust and I heard on a tape to parents who lost a child that their suffering is worse than the Holocaust. He said at least in the Holocaust we all suffered together as opposed to losing a child in our day and age.

    So if your suffering is/was as great as losing a child then you can say it. If not, perhaps you are having a little bit too much self-pity?

    in reply to: Settling for Less #880290
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    kodesh -“I was wondering how common such feelings are in a marriage…”

    I had the same feelings, but I stuck it out until she divorced me many years later.

    Better speak to a Rov who has Experience with Sholom Bayis or go to a Frum marriage therapist.

    Getting divorced earlier than later is better IMO!

    in reply to: Bnos Yaakov newsletter #879996
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    ohr chodesh -“The mussar seforim are full of fire and brimstone. Fire and brimstone is a legitimate and effective and historical Jewish form of mussar.”

    Sam2 -“Ohr Chodesh: No one disagrees with that. The question is whether a school for young girls is the proper place for use of such a Derech of Mussar.”

    Feif Un -“We see that R’ Shteinman holds that the methods of chinuch needed have changed. Fire and brimstone is not the way to go!”

    Yes, this is another misconception that is prevalent in our day & age and I’ll clear it up. I cleared up that Achronim don’t hold Torah learning comes before Tzedaka. B’H for people who read this on the Net and won’t have this misunderstanding anymore about Mussar giving.

    Yes, we do have people who give Mussar by beating on their Chest and screaming Fire & Brimstone. I have experienced this many times in my lifetime. Is this the best proper way? Is this the best way of the Torah?

    As not to argue on R. Shteinman, I’ll just say he holds Fire & Brimstone is absolutely Ossur in our generation, not that it was ever the best way.

    The following is from the Kedushas Levi in Parshas Cheukas:

    (A transliteration.)

    “The Posuk says “Yan Lo Hematem Bee L’hakdeshayni.”

    There is a Machlokus between the Rambam & Ramban. The Rambam says the Ikkar Chet was Moshe Rabbeynu got angry and embarrassed the Yidden with “Shimu Noh Hamorim” and the Ramban says the Ikkar Chet was he hit the rock and didn’t speak to it.

    And I say, these two reasons are really one. There are two types of Tzaddikim – one who won’t stop giving Mussar until the Yidden do Teshuva and the other Tzaddik picks up the people & elevates them so much until they are embarrassed that they sinned. The difference between these two Tzaddikim is this: The one that brings them to do Teshuva on their own good will -then the Breeoh is subjected to everything that is commanded for the Good of Klal Yisroel because the world was only created for Klal Yisroel.

    But the Tzaddaik that forces Teshuva through hard & sharp words of Mussar is forced to force the Breeoh to do the will of Klal Yisroel, but not them doing it with good will.

    So it comes out since Moshe came to anger & he gave Mussar with strong words – “Shimu Noh Hamorim” -the rock didn’t want to listen to his words alone, but Moshe was forced to hit it & to take out the water with force!”

    The end of the Vort. Such powerful words. How could anybody even add or disagree?

    in reply to: SMOKING – why should it be MUTTAR? #884430
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    lakewhut – Why would a girl even go out with a smoker?

    I know – I wouldn’t – if I was a girl.

    in reply to: Infertility treatments – Tzedaka?? #883849
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    DaasYochid -“I don’t understand how you counter the point that support for Torah comes before poor people with the fact that giving to a shul takes precedence over giving to poor people.”

    I was just quoting the Mechaber in a transliteration.

    “As to which takes precedence, adult Torah scholars or children’s Torah, it’s a machlokes, and it depends on multiple factors. See this article, footnote 6, for some sources.”

    The only one that the Mechaber mentions is children learning. If you have a source stating that adult learning is more important than Tzedaka – please cite the source.

    “Please inform if you know of anyone who argues on the general precedence of Torah support over most other forms of tzeddakah.”

    I did. You obviously missed that in my post. I’ll repeat. The Gr’a and other Achronim in the Nosei Kelim on the S’A – seem to hold that Torah learning does Not take precedence over Tzedaka.

    in reply to: Infertility treatments – Tzedaka?? #883848
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    Feif Un -“Health: yes, relatives come first – in most cases.

    Why should I help them any more? They’re not doing anything to help themselves.”

    That’s the Halacha. If you have a Psak from a LOR saying due to their laziness they are excluded from this – that’s fine. I wouldn’t on my own not give them money without first asking a Rabbi.

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