Health

Sam2 -“yytz: I certainly hope we are not lenient for the Rama. Because his S’fek S’feka (Dachuk enough to begin with) is not at all applicable nowadays because it’s definitely Efshar Livrurei B’kal. The FDA puts out all the relevant information every year. We are probably Meikil like the Bach (though Rav Schachter quotes an interesting Avnei Neizer).”

hello99 -“Sam: the “minhag” is to be meikil for the second half of the Rema, ???? ????? ??????”

Both wrong! The Rema is applicable in the US. We had this Machlokus in the past. And I’m not going to start it again. It got very heated. Check out the topic about it here in the CR.

GAW -“Since the Roshei Yeshiva are not removing such bochrim, it is obvious that they hold it is mutter. They would certainly remove someone who was convincing others to view unfiltered internet access, or even if they were doing so in public.”

Actually you can win a prize for defending smokers, no matter what – whether it’s dangerous and Ossur from the Torah -you’ll still defend them.

Why if it’s Ossur they aren’t being thrown out -is a question you have to ask them. I’m not a RY and if I would be one – I’d be from those who throw out Bochrim for smoking from their Yeshivos.

Your deduction is no deduction because s/o refusing to take action doesn’t mean that what he refuses to take action on is Mutter, acc. to them. The only way I might agree to your reasoning, is if they throw out all Poiskim from Yeshivos and e/o starts bringing their chickens & their Niddah Shailos to RY’s.

Until then, they aren’t Paskening any Shailos, including whether Smoking is Muttar or not!

shtickel_seichel -“Makes no difference which rav you quote. Your body doesn’t hold by this rebbe or that rebbe. Your body operates according to its biology. Smoking is dangerous to your health and to the health of everyone around you. Smoking is addictive. Smoking kills. Regardless of what (you think) your rebbe tells you.”

You just fell into their trap. You see there is No Poisek nowadays that holds it’s Mutter (not that I know of). They all want to say they have some Heter. The ones from the previous generation didn’t yet have all the info that they have now.

Even R. Moshe Z’tl, who said Mutter would Not hold that nowadays acc. to his son. But they continue to allow smoking in many Yeshivos – like it’s no problem. How long do you think a guy would last in these Yeshivos with Internet service or a non-kosher cell?

takahmamash -“Why? It’s up to the parents to supervise the kid and watch what the kid eats. It’s certainly not the fault of a 7 year old! The situation in the OP could have been prevented it the parents had been paying attention. We’ve gone to many events that included food with family members who are not frum, and we’ve never had this problem.”

I was responding to this case -Obviously Not in General. This case -the parents could Not supervise their kid(s). I didn’t like the fact that some posters presumably felt that the kid should be punished for her behavior.

“You make it sound like they MUST make a choice between one or the other. They don’t.”

Like I just said -in this case this is their only choice.

If supervision was possible -this topic would never have started!

oomis -“I agree about the Hatzolah remark, BTW. Women in labor should have the option of a female medic with them, if that’s what they want.”

They can have this option if “Ezras Noshim” (R. Freier’s org.) gets off the ground. Hatzolah will not take females, no matter how many people think they should. You can mutter that they are wrong all you want, but that won’t change their position.

Csar -“Sitting and learning all day is the ideal. “Talmud Torah Kneged Kulam.” Chazal say, one word of Torah is higher than an entire lifetime of doing these Mitzvos.”

Site the source. I never heard this.

wanderingchana -“I had an amazing female OB/GYN with my first birth. I had a patronizing, condescending male OB/GYN with my second. I agree with interjection – I don’t know why men go into this field.”

interjection -“It’s nice to hear that a man approves of male Ob/gynos. I will not state my opinion on what I think of men who choose to go into the field. Suffice it to say that as a woman, I respectfully disagree.”

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule. I never said it’s impossible to find a good, competent female Ob/gyn.

I was giving my perspective from both angles as a father and as a professional.

What I don’t understand is your perception of men who go into the field? The guy must me a pervert acc. to your way of thinking. We must not live in a free society where anyone in the world can get anything they want with the type of a few keystrokes.

I can understand you being uncomfortable with a man provider, but that doesn’t mean the guy is a perv. It’s your projection.

There are many reasons males want to become Ob/gyn’s. Two off the top of my head are money -they make a nice living. Also, at least by OB, it’s basically the only area in medicine where providers are involved with bringing life into this world instead of preventing death.

kfb -“Health you’re do smart when you quote what people say and dissect it. Where’d you learn that from? I was hat browsing the coffee room and when I saw your attack on morahrach I became disgusted. This is what goes on between frum yidden?? Why do you even post here, it’s a frum blog? Seriously please think about what youre going to say before you type it on the keyboard. It’s very immature, grow up!”

Oh, I do think. Perhaps some posters should not think everything that is posted is a insult to them. To me that is immature.

MorahRach -“Also calling me a wannabe makes you sound like a .. Well jerk. I don’t attempt to compare myself to someone in the

Medical field. Why did you have to try and make me feel foolish? No need to try and put me down.”

Maybe you posted this because it’s late at night.

What I’m going to say next probably belongs in the topic under Gender Intellect.

Let’s see my post started out talking to you -I’ll quote:

“You make it sound like you went 3 years Med school and gave it up. Pre-med is just science oriented courses -almost nothing to do with medicine.”

Upto here had to do with you -then I continued on a tangent.

“I know s/o who finished med school and decided not to go to a residency. In other words he gave up medicine.

I don’t shed any tears on wannabes. I do shed tears on all those who are out there and are totally incompetent.”

The wannabe part was refering to what I just posted. I was or was Not including you in that part. In other words, I was making a general comment related to what I just wrote.

Maybe you need to sleep on this. G-Nite.

147 -“& specialty fields of women’s diseases & issues, should most preferentially be dealt with, by a woman Dr.”

Now why did you say this? Do you mean Frum men should Not be OB’s?

Or do you mean all Ob/gyn’s should be female? If the latter I can tell you with my kids -the coldest Docs were the women. One had kids -the other didn’t. The one with the kids was the worse – no bedside manner. The males were much more pleasant to deal with.

From my professional experience I’d say was the same as my parenting experience. The top Ob/gyn’s that I’ve come across were all male.

147 – That was quick -here today -gone tomorrow. Or should I say here for a minute -gone the next. It came back. Must have gone for editing.

yekke2 – They say because of the Asifa against the internet many people not just got filters, but lots stopped their internet subscription.

Can you imagine if they made an Asifa against smoking? -probably lots would just quit cold turkey.

And it would be praised amongst the Goyim in their press, because this is something that they even agree with.

MP -“Health, this has absolutely nothing to do with emunas chachamim. This doesn’t even have anything to do with logic. This is about human emotions and sensitivities. A true Gadol would have the sensitivity to understand that each person is on their own level in terms of emotional responses to different types of pain, and not throw them all into one category. That is what a Gadol is. A leader. Someone who understands the needs of different people and can carefully determine the appropriate action for every individual based on their own situation. Someone who knows the entire Shas by heart but can’t differentiate between two people’s tolerances for suffering and delicately deal with them, is NOT a gadol.”

Somehow, somewhere you twisted my words. I’ll go back. Yes, you are correct a Godol does understand individual reponses to different situations. But just because he does -why does that preclude him from making the statement of -“s/o who lost a child is worse than a Holocaust survivor”? Why do you make it one way or the other? In this case, both are true.

“Aside from all this, there’s a major problem with the idea you proposed that a “Gadol’s logic doesn’t have to agree with human logic”. A problem arises, because there are endless opinions as to who is a “Gadol” and who isn’t. Some people feel their Rabbaim are Gedolim. Everyone thinks someone else is a Gadol. And once that is the case, based on the concept you brought up, someone can say the most ridiculous statement that contains no logic whatsoever, and think it is the truth, simply because his Rabbi said it. And of course, all that does is make everyone else (who doesn’t hold by that Rabbi) think of this guy as a complete nut. Unfortunately, we see this happen in the CR occasionally, and it can sometimes have very negative effects. And in real life, the effects can be even worse.”

E/o has the right to feel their Rebbe is a Godol. If a person who knows that person also, doesn’t feel that way -it is also within his right. But if a person doesn’t know whether that person is or not, they just can’t assume he’s not. They do have the right not to listen to something he says though – if he asks his own Rabbi and he says differently.

Again, as above, you decided one is exclusive of the other and this is Not the way to look at it.

MiddlePath -“Health, it’s only the truth for HIMSELF. He cannot say such a statement for others, no matter how big of a Rabbi he is, because other people may have different tolerances and sensitivities for specific types of suffering.”

Again you are comparing the avg. guy to this Rabbi. I don’t know what type of upbringing you had -have you ever met a real Godol?

From your posts it sounds as not. Yes, “Rabbis” come a dime a dozen, but not real Gedolim. That’s why Chazal say Chochom Odif Menovi (A wise person is greater than a prophet). Rav Tauber is a very Choshuv person. If he says something which he has insight into -it’s because it’s true. Torah logic does Not always have to equal into human logic. Many times it does, but it doesn’t have to. There is something called Emunas Chachomim – this is a Godol’s logic that doesn’t necessarily agree with human logic.

Your post is not illogical, just it’s Not correct.

shtarkzich -“You do not mention what these unpleasant surprises are so we are left to assume they are of the sort that practically everyone encounters including your spouse.”

You have a pretty decent post except for the above. Do Not assume that there aren’t major problems. Some people are afraid to post everything on a public website due to the fact that they are scared s/o might figure out their identity, even though they post anon.

This is why I strongly suggest going to another therapist because he/she might be able to get to the bottom of this. If there is a major issue going on he/she might suggest divorce. IMO, if he/she says this – listen – because in the long run it will be better for both of you. Trust me, there will be many people telling you not to, not limited to – Rabbonim, Rosh Yeshivos, your family members, her family members, your friends, her friends and many more.

MP -“This Rabbi has no business comparing the Holocaust and losing a child. He can compare what HE went through in the Holocaust to, G-d forbid, what HE went through when losing a child. But it is completely out of place to make such a statement as if it applies to everyone, because it just doesn’t. That would be insensitive.”

That’s your mistake and you missed this in my previous post. I would never because I don’t have that insight. And I assume you wouldn’t from your posts. But a real Rabbi could have that insight, esp. in this case because he knows what occurred at that time – so if he says what he did, not only is it Not insensitive -it’s the Truth.

“there is a concept of finding the good in everything, but the bottom line is, it was insensitive.”

I agree with you here. She was being very insensitive. She has no clue what the Holocaust was about and obviously she has no clue what Goq is/was going through.

pcoz -“I think according to the hagahos on my Orchos Chaim le’Harosh beyond a very basic chiyuv each year which does not amount to much where you give your tzedakah is up to you.”

Why do you say it doesn’t amount to much? It depends on your income. If you make 100 grand – 10 grand is Maaser.

Just a general question – Do people (or do you) pay their tuition with their Maaser money?

The Chassidishe Gatesheader -“I never go to a mikveh since I have extremely sensitive ears (had tens of ear infections when I was young) and was instructed by my ENT docs then, never to allow my ears to go underwater at all.”

I’d ask a Shaila if I were you. It might be a Chiyuv Erev Yom Kippur and possibly erev yom tov. They have ear plugs that can keep water out or putting in mineral oil. This might not be considered a Chatziza. You can also use alcohol, mineral oil, or vinegar afterwards to remove water that got in.

Btw, how do you shower? Doesn’t water get in?

BTGuy – +1

DaasYochid -“The Gr’a Offen Ort … is disputing the Mechaber about the priority of beis haknesses.”

Wrong. He disputes the whole Seif, including supporting kids’ learning. Look again. He says that the Deyuk that these things come before Tzedaka is “Aino Muchrach”.

“Poor Torah learners, children or adults, take precedence over anyone but relatives (poor relatives who are Torah learners would be the absolute priority*, aside from pikuach nefesh).”

As long as they are from Aneiay Ircha.

“Whether poor relatives take precedence over Torah learners seems to be a machlokes (check out the sources in the article which I linked to earlier) although the C.C. seems to give priority to krovim.”

You have not provided a source. Look up. The Mods don’t put up links. If you want to cite a source that argues -copy & paste.

“My point about chomesh was to demonstrate the primacy of supporting Torah learners. Although there is a chiyuv to give “tzeddakah” (to poor people), the bulk of one’s donations should be to support Torah.”

Well that would depend on many factors. – How many poor relatives you have. Whether your town has poor Talmedi Chachomim or just poor Am Haaratzim. The Piskay Teshuva 251:3 says -poor people from your town even if they are Ami Haaratzim, come before poor people from a different town, even if those are Talmedi Chachamim!

zvei dinim – Well said!

DaasYochid -“The only one that the Mechaber mentions is children learning. If you have a source stating that adult learning is more important than Tzedaka – please cite the source.

Ahavas Chessed, chapter 19.”

Yes. I remember this C.C. I think you are somewhat confused.

The Mechaber in Hilchos Tzedaka was talking about preferences that come before Tzedaka and aren’t in the Geder of Tzedaka. Like eg. kids learning. These kids could be rich, but acc. to the Mechaber giving money to support their learning would come before Tzedaka. The Gr’a Offen Ort and others seem to disagree.

The way I understand the C.C. is that the preference of Torah learners that is given over others is only in a case of poor people. It’s not in general to give Torah learners over the Mitzva of Tzedaka.

I hope this clears things up for you.

Btw, I don’t get your point about Chomesh.

kodesh -“I was wondering how common such feelings are in a marriage…”

I had the same feelings, but I stuck it out until she divorced me many years later.

Better speak to a Rov who has Experience with Sholom Bayis or go to a Frum marriage therapist.

Getting divorced earlier than later is better IMO!

lakewhut – Why would a girl even go out with a smoker?

I know – I wouldn’t – if I was a girl.

Feif Un -“Health: yes, relatives come first – in most cases.

Why should I help them any more? They’re not doing anything to help themselves.”

That’s the Halacha. If you have a Psak from a LOR saying due to their laziness they are excluded from this – that’s fine. I wouldn’t on my own not give them money without first asking a Rabbi.